


The Story of Lenny Belardo

by Vinci_Cova



Category: The New Pope (TV), The Young Pope (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 87,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22894327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinci_Cova/pseuds/Vinci_Cova
Summary: Lenny Belardo, the first American Pope in history, the most mysterious and contradictory figure of all turns out to be Pius XIII himself. Shrewd and naive, conservative and modern, doubtful and resolute, ironic, pedantic, hurt and ruthless, Pope Pius XIII tries to walk-through the long path of finding God, and himself.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a retold version of the TV drama "The Young Pope" (2016) and "The New Pope" (2020).  
> The storyline is based on the drama itself, plus my add-ons. And sorry for any grammatical error in advance.  
> I don't own it, that is Sorrentino's work.  
> Please do leave a comment, it means a lot to me.

What a terrible day. Rains and thunders never end. For such an important day, it’s definitely not a good day.

Not a good day at all.

But there is no choice. It must be done.

They are waiting for me.

Can you hear the roaring outside those curtains? The faithful are waiting at the square.

They are waiting for me.

All right, take a deep breath, then take the stage, just like those old days in New York.

You can do it.

_I can do it._

Once I walk through the white curtains, I show myself at the balcony, to the World. I open my arms to embrace the crowd. All in a Sudden, the rain stops, and the sky starts turning blue.

“Ciao, Rome! Ciao, World!” I greet the crowd, “What have we forgotten? What have we forgotten? We have forgotten you!”

The crowd is cheering and applauding, “Let me be very clear, I'm here for one very simple reason: _To not forget anyone._ God does not leave anyone behind. That is what He told me when I decided to serve Him. And it is what I say to you now. I serve God. I serve you!”

The crowd is cheering.

“We've forgotten the women and children, who will change this world with their love and their kindness. And with their marvelous, divine disposition to play. Play is the only authentic means we have to make us feel in harmony with life. And to be in harmony with God we have to be in harmony with life. We don't have a choice: We must be in harmony with God!

“And what else have we forgotten? We have forgotten to masturbate, to use contraceptives, to get abortions, to celebrate gay marriages, to allow priests to love each other, and even to get married.”

Suddenly, the crowd is no longer in cheers, they all fell into silence. They look up at me, puzzling.

I take a breath and continue.

“We've forgotten that we can decide to die if you detest living. We've forgotten to have sexual relations for purposes other than procreation without feeling guilty!”

The air is getting intense, “Help! To divorce, to let nuns say mass, to make babies in all the ways science has discovered and will continue to discover.

“In short, my dear, dear children, not only have we forgotten to play, we have forgotten to be happy. And there is only one road that leads to happiness. And that road is called freedom. Sancti Apostoli Petrus et Paulus, de quorum potestate et auctoritate confidimus… _(Latin: May the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul, in whose power and authority we are confident about the…)_ ”

“What are you saying, Lenny? What's all this nonsense? You're not the Pope, Lenny!” There is one cardinal at the balcony who said, “I am the Pope! I am! And you, Lenny, are no longer a member of the Church. You are done with God, Lenny.”


	2. I. There's a New Pope Now

_“_ _Who are you, Lenny?”_

_I am a contradiction. Like God,_ _one in three and three in one. Like Mary, virgin and mother. Like man, good and evil._

~ ~ ~ ~

“What you mean done? I just barely got started with God.” Lenny Belardo, or from now on should call him: Pius XIII, the Pope, Holy Father, Your Holiness. He was mumbling when he was waking up. Sweats covered on his face, he gazed around the room, trying to focus his mind, for seconds, he still couldn’t tell whether he was still dreaming or not. Until he saw the crucifix on the wall. Then he got off the bed, turned on the radio, and walked towards his en-suite bathroom. He wetted his face, looked at himself in the mirror, “Who am I?” he asked himself.

The radio was broadcasting: “Today, Pius XIII's papacy begins. Cardinals are still in Vatican City, and they will leave Rome only after the new Pontiff's first homily…”

_Oh yes, I am the Pope._

_‘I am the Pope.’_ The voice was echoing in Lenny’s head. How did he become the pope? He had no idea, maybe, that’s God’s will. However, he was so ready for his new role, he smirked. Finally, he got dressed, looked at himself in his vestment: a pure white plain simar and fascia, with the white zucchetto on his head, then walked down the hallway to the dining room, he was shocked by the table in front of him.

There were all kinds of food: toasts, donuts, pancakes, sandwiches, frittata, bacon, ham and cheese, sunny-side egg, scrambled egg, boiled eggs…and all kinds of jam and butter.

That was a feast, not a breakfast. Lenny’s eyebrows knitted and gave a look.

“Not knowing your tastes, Your Holiness, we took the liberty of preparing a little of everything.” One of the priests replied.

“Didn't anyone tell you I don't eat much? Hardly anything, in fact. All I have in the morning is, a Cherry Coke Zero.” Lenny said.

“We will get some right away.” said the priest and he sent one of the nuns with a look.

“What's your name?” Lenny asked.

“Domen, Your Holiness.” said Domen, “I am Your Holiness' majordomo.”

“Do you know what Domen means?”

“One who belongs to God.”

“Precisely.” Lenny smiled, “So, by the transitive property, you belong to me.”

“How did you sleep, Your Holiness?” Domen showed his concerns.

“I had an amusing dream: Cardinal Ozolins and Cardinal Aguirre slapping each other, and I said the most outrageous things to the crowd in Saint Peter's Square.” What a hilarious dream, “Well then, I'll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero.”

Lenny took his seat, waiting for his coke.

“In the meantime, would Your Holiness care for a regular Diet Coke?” Domen suggested.

“Let's not utter heresies, Domen. It's death to settle for things in life.” _Cherry Coke Zero is irreplaceable._

“Holy Father, while you wait, may I present Sister Bice, from Nepi, in the delightful province of Lazio. She will be your personal cook.”

Sister Bice went by, she looked over sixty, round face with glasses, and a weird smile.

“Sister Bice also served three pontiffs who came before you. When she was young, she was a missionary in India, and fortunately for us, she speaks good English.”

Lenny held out his hand and waiting for the greeting. However, it has never happened.

“Well, my sweet Holy Father, now what is it you would like to have for your lunch? You just tell your Bice what you want, and I'll prepare it for you.” When Sister Bice approached, she did not kiss the pope’s hand. Instead, she was touching Lenny’s face without hesitation, even worse, kissed his temple, then walked away and mumbled, “Matriciana, pasta e fagioli, carbonara, lasagna…”

That made Lenny annoyed, he wiped his temple with the napkin, his eyebrows knitted, “Am I mistaken, did she say, _my sweet_?”

“Your Holiness, Sister Bice is rather quaint.” Domen tried to explain.

“No, Domen, she is not quaint. She's friendly.” Lenny dropped the napkin, raised his voice and called, “Mother! Let me explain something to you, that you, in your long life, have not yet had the occasion to understand: Friendly relationships are dangerous.”

Sister Bice stopped and turned around, eyes with fear.

“They lend themselves to ambiguities, misunderstandings, and conflicts, and they always end badly. Formal relationships, on the other hand, are as clear as spring water. Their rules are carved in stone. There's no risk of being misunderstood and they last forever. Now, you need to know -- I do not appreciate friendly relationships.” Lenny made his rules and do hope Sister Bice could keep them in her mind.

“But I'm a great admirer of formal ones. Where there are formal relationships there are rites and where there are rites the earth order reigns.”

Noticed the Pope was upset, and Sister Bice started sobbing, Father Valente interrupted and said, “Your Holiness, His Eminence the Cardinal Secretary of State and the Prefects of the Various Congregations can't wait to make your acquaintance and to welcome you.”

“Well, they're gonna have to wait, because first I have to drink my Cherry Coke Zero.”

No one can stop Lenny from enjoying his _breakfast_.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Vatican, one of the smallest states in the World. It’s not just the home of the Pope, also, the Papal State, the Holy See, the heart of the Catholic Church.

No doubt, there was also the centre of power play. Some of the cardinals were enjoyed this game so much, they would do all sort of tricks to maintain his power and influence.

For some of them, might think they were even more powerful than the Pope.

“May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust His mercy. Your sins, Voiello?” Tommaso, the priest and the confessor, who was staying inside the confessional booth, waiting for the confession proceed.

However, Angelo Voiello, a cardinal and currently the Secretary of State, was busy on his phone, being very impatient and said, “Tommaso, don't waste my time. My sins have to do with high finance and diplomacy. Even if I were to confess them, you wouldn't understand a thing.”

“So, confess those I can understand.” Tommaso felt troubled.

“I've had impure thoughts.” Voiello’s eyes didn’t leave the phone.

“About who?”

“About the Venus of Willendorf.”

“Who's she?” Tommaso concerned.

“The Paleolithic statue the Pope keeps in his library. It's 25,000 years old.”

“Impure and gerontophilic thoughts about a statue… What sort of penance can I assign for that?” Tommaso left the booth, “You're making things difficult for me, Voiello!”

“You think about it and let me know.” Voiello rushed away as a message pop-up on his phone, “I'm in a hurry.”

Meanwhile, there was a small group of cardinal fellows, having a secret meeting in the Papal Garden.

“Look, guys, the Holy Spirit is blowing away.” Cardinal Aguirre said when he noticed a white feather was flowing in the sky.

The others smiled, “Speaking of the Holy Spirit, what do you think? Did He illumine the cardinals?”

“The naivete of you Africans is really touching,” said Cardinal Ozolins, scarcity. “Do you really believe that the Holy Spirit elects the Pope?”

“We Africans, no, but we Catholics, yes, that is what we believe. Don't you, Ozolins?”

“Well, the Holy Spirit is not stupid, but _he_ is ironic and cunning.” Cardinal Ozolins noticed that his colleague still didn’t understand.

“What he's trying to tell you is that, here, in the Vatican, the Holy Spirit is just another name for Voiello.” Cardinal Aguirre explained.

“Belardo is forty-seven years old. That's young.” Cardinal Caltanissetta was very disappointed, “Which means we won't live to see another pope. How sad!”

“Caltanissetta, it's already a miracle that you've lived long enough to see this one,” said Cardinal Aguirre.

Everyone laughed.

“I'm not so sure that Voiello has shown good leadership this time.” Cardinal Caltanissetta did believe that was a power play within the Conclave this time.

“I've never really trusted Voiello myself. He's the devil incarnate.” Cardinal Aguirre agreed.

“Spencer would have been the right choice.” Spencer was the one Cardinal Caltanissetta elected.

“He is far too independent,” Cardinal Ozolins was worried, “and that wouldn't have been the good news for us cardinals.”

“True.” Cardinal Caltanissetta used an inhalator to ease his chest, “But all we have in exchange is a telegenic puppet.”

Whoever had met Lenny Belardo, would agree that he was not only young and indeed a good-looking eye-candy pope.

“And that means that he can be manipulated. This is a masterpiece of Voiello's diplomatic cunning, the way he shepherded the cardinals' votes to Belardo. Now Belardo holds office, but Voiello is pulling the strings. And he'll run things the way we tell him because once again we saved his life.”

Nobody was expected that Lenny Belardo was elected. Cardinal Ozolins believed that was the plan of Voiello, by choosing a young, inexperienced, good-looking pope, so that he can maintain his power as the Secretary of State easily.

“I may be African, and I may be naive, but if you ask me… you're simplifying the future to an unhealthy degree.”

“I'm in agreement with our African colleague.” Cardinal Caltanissetta said.

“What do you mean by that?” asked Cardinal Ozolins.

“That you've forgotten to ask one fundamental question.” Cardinal Caltanissetta eyed far away, “What's Spencer going to do now? That his beloved, detested protege has become the pope?”

~ ~ ~ ~

“ _My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?_ said Jesus before he was about to die.” Lenny knelt inside his chamber, praying to God. “Which is what I say to you now, before I begin to live. God's infinite silence, God's infinite silence, God's infinite silence…”

Frustrated.

There was always a better way to do this.

“Your Holiness, your sins,” Tommaso asked, he didn’t expect His Holy Father came for a confession on his first day as the Pope.

“I don't have any sins to confess.” Lenny declared confidently.

“Are you serious?” Tommaso was surprised; he never has a confession session like this.

“My only sin,” Lenny looked at his hands, “and it's an enormous one, is, that my conscience does not accuse me of anything.”

“Ego te absolvo peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. _(Latin: I absolve sins in the name of the Father, and the Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.)_ ”

Then both drawing the cross on their chest and left the confessional booth. Lenny walked to the coffee table and lit a cigarette, then sat down.

“If I always heard confessions like yours, Your Holiness, I'd be out of a job.” Tommaso chuckled.

“How many confessions do you hear in the Vatican, Don Tommaso?” Lenny smoked deeply and waiting for the answer.

“Me? The entire Curia, a good number of nuns and priests, as well as several lay employees who work in Vatican City.”

Lenny stood up and approaching, stopped, and placed his hand on Tommaso’s shoulder, looked into his eyes, “How old are you?”

“Sixty-one.”

“And how's your eyesight?”

“I don't even wear glasses.”

“And your hearing?”

“My only problem is my hair, Your Holiness.”

“You mean it's falling out?” Lenny smiled with curiosity.

“Not only that. Sometimes it hurts.”

“Your hair hurts? Good, very good!” Lenny exhaled slowly, a plan was established in his head, “I'll be frank, Don Tommaso, I need you. You must do something very important for the eminency of your pontiff.”

“Whatever you wish, Holy Father. Tell me.” Tommaso replied eagerly.

“Come then, I'll tell you in the confessional.” Lenny moved towards the booth, “Confessional booths are so beautiful. They look like little mountain huts. Do you like the mountains?”

“I don't like the snow.”

Lenny got inside and sat down, took a smoke, and said, “Here's what I want you to do.”

~ ~ ~ ~

In the Pope’s private office, Voiello was a bit pre-occupied, staring at the Venus of Willendorf, fantasizing.

“Your Eminence.” Father Federico Amatucci called and brought Voiello back to reality.

“Do you know how many books have been written about me?” Voiello asked casually.

“Seventeen?” Amatucci guessed.

“Eighteen.” Voiello corrected him. “The last one's going to press next week, and it's got the best title of all.”

“Which is?”

“The Man Behind the Scenes.” a satisfaction was in the voice of Voiello.

“Beautiful.” Federico did not really care what the book was about.

“Of course. I suggested it myself.”

“Who wrote it?” Amatucci was curious.

“Manna, that leftist reporter.”

“That means it's going to be critical of you, Your Eminence.”

“Of course, those are the best.”

While Voiello and Amatucci were chatting and laughing, waiting for the Pope. When the door opened, they both stood up, expecting the Pope. However, it was Father Valente.

“Where is His Holiness?” Voiello surprised.

“He's at the Heliport.”

“He just got here, and he already wants to leave?” _You better fly away and never come back_.

Amatucci laughed repressively.

“Now you could have laughed a little more.”

“He sent me to tell you he'll be late for your meeting, Your Eminence.” Valente said.

“Okay, but if you see him, tell him not to be too late, because I, unlike him, have a lot to do. I've got to steer this boat, which that indecisive fisherman Peter left me.”

That was a complaint, no doubt, in Voiello’s mind, Lenny Belardo, or Pope Pius XIII, was only a puppet in his pocket. And he was the one who runs the Church.

“Valente, what do you make of him?” Voiello needed to know more about Lenny.

“He's a man of little appetite. Actually, very little.”

“This is not a good sign. Not a good sign.”

“By the way, Your Eminence. His Holiness is waiting for me, will see you around.” Valente left the office and headed back to the Heliport.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was looked up to the sky, waiting. Waiting for the one who can make him felt settled.

As the helicopter lowered to the ground, a sister came out. She was over sixty, with a warm smile on her face. Lenny looked at her, took a deep breath, and started to walk to her; just like forty years ago, on the day his parents abandoned him. When he opened that gate, she was there waiting for him. And since that day, Sister Mary became his mother, even though he was not permitted to call her ‘Ma’.

Now, they both looked at each other. For a moment, they both speechless.

“Lenny!” Sister Mary called him with endearment.

“Sister Mary.” _She’s always here for me._ Lenny looked into Sister Mary’s eyes, trying to cover all his emotions.

“Here you are, my saint.”

“No, I'm not a saint.” Lenny had never found himself fit as a saint.

“Yes.” For Sister Mary, there was no question about it, Lenny Belardo was a living saint. She bowed and held Lenny’s right hand, kissed the ring.

Lenny wasn’t very comfortable with this, he knew that was the manner to greeting the Pope, however, Sister Mary was not anyone. She was the one who closest to his heart, more than anyone, more than his own parents.

He smiled at her, hugged her back.

“Do you still have it on you?” Sister Mary asked.

Lenny took out a piece of smoking pipe from his vestment’s pocket, “Always.”

Sister Mary looked at that half piece, which was Lenny’s father left it for him. She knew that was the only link to his parents, he kept it close to himself since the day he walked through the orphanage gate. After forty years, he was still the child who longing for his parents.

She took his hand and held it tight, “I’m here now.”

“Thanks, Sister Mary.” His voice was cracking, he needed to change the subject, “Shall we?”

Sister Mary nodded, and they both walked to the Vatican Gardens.

Once they passed the American Garden, they stopped at the end of the Leonine Wall.

“What's this?” asked Sister Mary while they walked up the steps.

“A replica of the grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes. It's being restored.”

Due to the restoration, most of the structure was covered, only left the Madonna. Lenny and Sister Mary stood in front of the statue.

“From now on, you're going to be living at the exact center of the Church,” Lenny said, then he pulled her couple steps back.

Sister Mary wondered, “But I don't understand. What does that mean?”

“That means that just now the center of the Church took a few steps back.” Lenny smiled at Sister Mary, then they took their way to the Apostolic Palace.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was showing around the new apartment to Sister Mary, “Do you like the apartment?”

“I'll be just fine here, Lenny.” Sister Mary did not care much about it, really.

However, Lenny was very pleased, “You're only a few feet away from me.”

It was a very long time he can just found Sister Mary in the next door since he left the orphanage and went to the seminary. Afterwards, he became a priest, then the bishop, the archbishop, the cardinal, and now, the Pope.

It was a lonely journey. Even now, he became the Pope, the journey still went on.

Although Lenny visited Sister Mary sometime in between, it still couldn’t compare that could bring her over, to share this moment.

“On the plane, I read this amusing description of Rome: _A suburb of Vatican City_.” Sister Mary was next to the window, enjoying the view of the Vatican Hill.

“Well, that's not exactly true, but it will be.” Lenny chuckled. Everyone in the Church knew that the Papal State should never be only Vatican City. If not the Lateran Treaty in 1929, Rome should be part of Papal State too, and the State would be ten times bigger than now.

Lenny lit a cigarette, in deep thought.

“What's wrong, Lenny?” Sister Mary worried, she felt his pain.

“What's not wrong, Sister Mary.” Lenny stood next to her, he pointed outside, “North is that way, where Venice is.”

Venice was the possible whereabouts of Lenny’s parents. They abandoned Lenny because they wanted to seek a new life there.

“Listen to me, Lenny. Starting today, you have to lead the Church. One billion people. One-fifth of the world's population.” Sister Mary had totally understood Lenny’s painful childhood, it’s a burden to him. Therefore, she hoped she could talk him out.

“Do you understand what I'm saying, Lenny? One billion people will depend on what you say and do. They'll make important decisions, happy or sad, of life or death, in order to obey you, in the name of God. All of this creates a new perspective. An immense perspective.

“Now, your personal aches, your enormous sufferings, your terrible memories It's a harsh thing to say, Lenny, but I have to say it, they must take a back seat. They are things of this earth.”

“Do you understand what I'm saying, Lenny?” She looked into Lenny’s eyes, shown him that she will not leave him no matter what, “I know all your sorrows, I've lived with them together with you, I've wept over them with you, but now the time has come for you to let your sorrows to fade, to become irrelevant, distant memories, insignificant, vanquished, destroyed and overpowered by the terrible responsibility that God has given you. From now on, you are no longer Lenny Belardo, the fatherless, motherless boy. From now on, you are Pope Pius XIII, Father and Mother of the entire Catholic Church.”

Of course, Lenny understood all these. However, his past was too painful, the scar was too deep, and that made the reality was too hard to swallow, too hard to face.

~ ~ ~ ~

With Sister Mary by his side, Lenny felt more settled in and he could start the duty as the Pope. He was at his desk with Cardinal Voiello.

“Allow me to say, Your Holiness, what joy! What joy! The Holy Spirit could not have illumined us in a better manner. In the name of the entire Church, welcome. May your pontificate be long, radiant, and fruitful.”

“Let's settle for long.” Lenny was young, and he was so sure that for a foreseeable future, he could be the Pope for decades.

It seemed Voiello not agree with this, he chuckled and said, “What a telling joke!”

“Jokes are never telling. They're jokes.” Lenny said with a cold face.

Voiello looked apologetic, trying to change the subject. “Well, Holy Father, first of all, a small piece of information of a practical and picturesque nature under your desk, on the right, you will find a button.”

Lenny took a look at his right and checked, there was a button. He was wondered how useful that can be.

“If you feel that an encounter is becoming disagreeable or a waste of time, all you have to do is to press it discreetly, and an assistant will swiftly appear with some excuse, liberating you from your engagement.”

“He'll lie, in other words.” Lenny was disgusted with the idea.

“Yes, but he'll have plenty of time and opportunity to repent.” Voiello laughed.

 _How can he say that?_ Lenny was very upset.

For him, repent, or confession was a serious matter. No one can abuse it so that he or she can tell lies so easily, without guilty at all.

“Well, Holy Father, if you agree, I would like to start with our top priorities. The most urgent of them all is your first homily in St. Peter's Square. There is a great deal of agitation about it, something which I, in my long career, have never quite seen before. The entire office of the Secretary of State is working on it.”

 _Why I still need to be here? Let Voiello telling me what I should do or shouldn’t do?_ Lenny was so annoyed. He massaged his temple and hoping that could ease the headache.

“I myself worked all night long on a rough draft, which I would like to submit to you. The press and the faithful who are coming here from every corner of the globe were all convinced that you were going to deliver your homily today. We did an excellent job at calming their spirits, but at the same time, Your Holiness, I am sorry to say that we can only delay for so long. Tomorrow would be ideal. There, this is the most pressing issue.”

Finally, Voiello’s speech was over, but Lenny had no interest in it. There was only one thing he needed most, with his eyes still closed, he said, “The most pressing issue, is my need for a cup of American coffee. Would you make me one, Your Eminence?”

“Certainly.” Voiello turned around and tried to call Amatucci to do it for him.

“I didn't ask him. I asked you.” Eyed on Voiello, Lenny ordered.

“It will be a pleasure and an honor for me to bring you coffee, Your Holiness.”

With a fake smile, Voiello reluctantly left his seat and went to the bench to prepare the coffee. Amatucci was amazed, there was no one, _no one_ , at the Vatican can order Voiello to do anything, he was the Secretary of State, only _he_ can order the others, sometimes, even the Pope needed to listen to him.

However, what just happened was Pius XIII demonstrated his authority and power. Maybe it was just a small cup of coffee, it was significant to tell everyone that the Pope’s sovereign power is absolute. Amatucci laughed, as he knew, from now on, do not cross the Pope, otherwise, you would get yourself in hell.

Voiello was back with a cup of coffee in his hand, and he placed it on the desk for the Pope.

“Thank you, Your Eminence.” Lenny took a sip of coffee, exhaled. He felt much better now.

“It's my duty, Blessed Father.” Voiello kept his poker-face.

When Lenny was enjoying his coffee, at the other side of the office, Sister Mary left her seat and approaching the cupboard at the side, she took out a red pouch and walked to the desk, collected a copy of Voiello’s new book and then placed the red pouch next to Lenny, then she waited by the window.

“Holy Father, now, about your homily, how would we like to proceed then?” Voiello started the discussion of his agenda.

“Later.”

“And has the Holy Father already thought of some candidates for the delicate role of a special assistant?”

“I have an idea.” Of course, Lenny already had someone who fit for the job.

“I do too. Monsignor Gemelli comes to mind…”

“My idea is Sister Mary.” Lenny interrupted and simply rejected Voiello’s nominee.

Sister Mary was shocked, with her eyes wide-opened. She did prepare that Lenny needed her, otherwise, there was no reason to fly her here all the way from the United States. She was here for a purpose, she knew it, it was not a general visit. But she did not expect that Lenny was planned to place her at his inter-circle.

Voiello totally did not agree with the Pope, “An admirable idea, Your Holiness, and completely understandable. Allow me to add, however, that unfortunately, the Curia has complex mechanisms which might seem like astrophysics. Therefore, the Holy Father's inevitable lack of experience, together with Sister Mary's inevitable lack of experience would lead me to suggest an internal contribution Of course I realize how central Sister Mary seems to you. We could invent a sort of ad hoc role for her. We won't lack for imagination around here.”

It was a statement that Voiello was not allowed any nun (or a woman?) to get involved within the business of the Holy See. Also, it hinted that Lenny Belardo was way too young for the top job.

“Yeah. You're exactly right, Voiello. She's central.”

That gave Voiello some hope, to hope that the Pope would change his mind. Be that as it may, Lenny insisted. “Sister Mary took me in at her orphanage when I was seven years old, she raised me, and she loved me. She made me a good Christian.”

“A great Christian! Monsignor Gemelli is experienced, I would rely on him…” Voiello was hoping the best.

“Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly.”

“Perhaps, Holy Father. My English does have its limits.” Voiello didn’t want things to get heat up.

“You'd better improve it then.”

“Sister Mary will be my special assistant,” Lenny said firmly and without negotiation.

“As you wish, Holy Father.” One down, moved onto the next issue, “Then, of course, there is the matter of drafting and delivering your address to the College of Cardinals. They're all still here. They will not leave the Vatican until you address them.”

“Later.” Lenny took a sip of coffee.

“In the office of the Secretary, we have been wondering if the Holy Father would care to provide us with some indications regarding the draft of an encyclical.”

“Later.” Another sip of coffee.

“The prefects of the various congregations are of course eager to see you with their own eyes. But I imagine that you would like to deal with this matter… later?”

“No, now.” Lenny put down the coffee. That was out of Voiello’s expectation, “First off, I want to meet the Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy.”

“At any rate, Holy Father, I understand your reluctance about the encyclical. Your predecessor always made me laugh when he said that an encyclical is like Proust's ‘ _In Search of Lost Time’_ : _Everyone quotes it, but no one reads it_.”

The room fell into silence.

Everyone’s eyes were now at the Pope. His eyes were closed, head tilted down, hands held together, and not moving an inch. Only Voiello found that was funny, never knew that he got himself into big trouble.

“Are you sleeping, Holy Father?” Voiello tried to break the ice.

“No.” Lenny was taking his time, “Your Eminence, I'm praying. For you.”

Voiello’s mind was wandering elsewhere, he was staring at the small showcase on his left.

“Stop looking at the Venus of Willendorf in that way.” Lenny’s eyes still closed.

Voiello was surprised, _how can he know what I am doing?_ He cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment.

When Lenny finished the prayer, he opened the red pouch, took out a silver portable ashtray, and started smoking.

Voiello could not believe it, he almost had a heart attack, “Holy Father, Holy Father, smoking is not allowed in the papal palace!”

“Is that so?” Lenny really didn’t care, he exhaled casually, “Who decided that?”

“John Paul II,” Voiello answered.

“The Pope?”

“Yes, the Pope.”

 _I see._ Lenny took another smoke, “There's a new Pope now.”

“True.” Yes, _there’s a new pope_.

“Your Eminence,” Lenny said, with the cigarette in his hand.

“Yes, Holy Father,” waiting for the Pope’s lecture.

“You're too tied to the past.”

“They say the same thing about you, Your Holiness.”

“The past is an enormous place, with all sorts of things inside. Not so with the present. The present is merely a narrow opening, with room for only one pair of eyes: _Mine_.”

Lenny leaned to the right and pushed the button under the desk, Voiello knew his meeting with the Pope was over. He stood up and noticed the Pope shown the right hand, he took the hand and kissed the ring, then made his departure.

By the time Voiello got the door, he was called by the Pope. “Yes, Your Holiness.”

“Our top priorities.”

“Here I am. As I was saying…”

With serious on the face, Lenny addressed, “You will be in charge of politics, finance, theology, appointments, and promotions. I will take care of worldly matters, travel, the adulation of the masses, celebrations.”

“A most effective division of roles, Holy Father.” Voiello was pleased, finally, the Pope said something normal.

“Your Eminence.” Lenny didn’t miss that smile on his face, _which meant –_

“Yes, Blessed Father?”

“I was just kidding.” Lenny laughed, “That wasn't obvious?” _– he didn’t get it._

“Hardly!” _He made me looked like a fool_.

“So, as I was saying, our top priorities are –” Lenny put out the cigarette, walked away from the desk. He waltzed along with the windows, “One: The Radio Vatican signal needs boosting. It is unacceptable that the reception is so poor. Two: the pope wants to see all the gifts the pope receives. Have a storage facility fitted out for storing all the gifts I receive. Three: the Vatican must immediately buy back the papal tiara from the basilica in Washington D.C., which my predecessors, who favoured sobriety over tradition, imprudently let go.”

Finally, he stopped next to Sister Mary, “And four, Sister Mary will also look after you. She will oversee all your activities and report directly back to me. She will be your guardian angel.”

“I'm sixty years old, Holy Father.” Voiello found that was insulting, “I don't need a guardian angel.”

“Oh, we all need a guardian angel, Voiello. Especially unscrupulous, ambiguous men.” Like Lenny cared about Voiello’s feelings. All he knew was he needed to keep an eye on this man, because, he believed that there was a hidden agenda in the Conclave, and he needed to know why they made him the Pope.

“Then, please, allow me to choose mine myself.”

“In another life. In this life, the Pope chooses your guardian angel for you.”

“And _he_ is the Pope.” Sister Mary reminded Voiello.

“Did you call for me, Holy Father?”

Lenny shook his head, “Thank you, Sister Suree.”

0 to 1, Voiello lost.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the meeting with Voiello, Lenny was alone at his huge office, he needed some fresh air, or quiet time, to change his mood. There was only one place he wanted to go now, and he needed to meet up someone, someone can be his ally. So, he picked up the phone and hoped Sister Suree could be arranged for him.

And now, with Sister Suree’s guide, Lenny got the door and down the stairs, then took a turn and he found himself in a long hallway. Walked till the end, another stair, when he opened the door, he found himself in a huge white chamber, where was under the St. Peter’s Basilica. _Oh, that’s the Pope’s secret passage_.

He never at this part of the Basilica before, and now he was lost and trying to look for his way up, to the main nave. _It’s like a maze here_. When Lenny tried a door, he was surprised by the crowd, unfortunately, a boy yelled at his face happily, “Papa!”

He quickly closed the door, panting. Retreated to the underground white chamber, he tried and another one down the aisle. _Thank God._ He made it this time.

The Basilica without the tourists was so quiet. With the sun shining through the dome’s window, was so peaceful.

Now, Lenny was in front of the Pietà, the sculpture of Jesus on the lap of his mother Mary after the crucifixion, one of the masterpieces of Michelangelo.

Bernardo Gutierrez, Master of Ceremonies of the Holy See, was next to him.

“It all comes back to this in the end, doesn't it? To the mother.” Lenny was staring at Mary, thinking of his own mother. _Why my mother abandoned me?_ “How was your mother like Monsignor Gutierrez?”

“She was a woman who did not scorn wickedness.”

“And it had the effect of creating a son full of goodness.” Lenny smiled, “I've inquired about you. Everyone tells me you are a shining example of goodness.”

“I thank you for believing them, Holy Father.”

“It is I who should thank you,” with gratitude, Lenny said, “for allowing me to be here without hordes of tourists.”

“That's my duty, Holy Father.”

“Was it hard? To close off the Basilica to tourists?” Lenny was curious, how could he managed to evacuate the crowd in such short notice.

“No, no, all we had to do was hang up a sign saying ‘Closed’.”

Never believe it can be that easy, Lenny cleared his throat. “I will never shed my aversion to tourists.”

“Why is that, Holy Father?” Gutierrez was wondered.

“Because they are just passing through.” For Lenny, tourists came here just for a visit, to see how the Basilica looked like, some of them didn’t have faith, or even didn’t believe in God.

St. Peter’s Basilica is not a tourist attraction, it is the Church! _This_ is God’s house!

They both walked along the nave to the altar, took the steps, and back to the underground chamber.

“I was late because I couldn't find your office,” Lenny said.

“I know. You opened the wrong door and found yourself face to face with some visitors to our museum.”

“Oh, you've been inquired about me too.” Lenny chuckled.

“It's very difficult to keep anything secret here in the Vatican. Rumors fly so quickly that sometimes they arrive even before the event has taken place.”

“That's quite a useful piece of information for my future,” Lenny noted it down in his mind.

“Which is exactly what it was intended to be, Holy Father.”

“What is one to do, Monsignor? It's the time. In America, we call it gossip.”

“Here in the Vatican, we call it calumny. This way.” Gutierrez showed Lenny the way to a side chapel.

“How many years have you been at the Vatican?” Lenny approached the small altar, knelt, and prayed.

“So many that I've stopped to counting.”

“Do you like it here?”

“Yes, I feel safe here,” Gutierrez said, here was his home, too. “It's as if time were dead.”

“Speaking of that time, the other day, during the Conclave, I read an Italian newspaper. It was an article about this politician who had hidden some compromising files in the gaps between the walls of his house.”

“Yes, I read about that as well,” Gutierrez remembered that article.

“I thought, I wouldn't need to hide anything in the gaps in my house. Because my mind is a gap. And everything that is hidden from me, sooner or later is revealed. As if it were being entrusted to me.” Lenny sighed.

“A precious skill for leading the Church.”

“It's not a skill, Gutierrez,” Lenny, with determined written on his face, said, “It's my destiny.”

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Voiello summoned his personal assistant Amatucci to his place.

“Federico, do you know why all the good souls of this world rage against power?”

“Why, Your Eminence?”

“Because they simply don't know: _Power is knowledge_.”

“What is it you want to know, Your Eminence?”

“Who is Pius XIII? Or rather, who was Lenny Belardo? You need to carry out a small investigation, discreet but thorough. Everything. His weak spots, traumas tribulations, and sins. Especially his sins. Because the sins we commit in the past are the same ones we'll commit in the future. Because man is like God. He never changes.”

Voiello was angry about this afternoon, he was humiliated by the Pope! He just couldn’t take this. To take down your emery, you should know your emery better.

_No man is perfect._

Not even Lenny Belardo.

For Voiello, Lenny was just a kid! He supposed to be his puppet, he should follow his advice and do what he told him to do.

It was clear that this game was no longer under his rules. To change the game, he needed to arm himself.

“I'll start right in.” Amatucci said, “but is the situation of this papacy already that serious?”

“No, not yet. But if it were to become so, we'll be ready. Because that’s the power of knowledge. They don't realize what it takes to be more powerful than anyone else.”

To take down Pius XIII, Voiello needed Lenny’s dark secrets. “And it takes getting knowledge before anyone else does.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny and Tommaso walked up to the rooftop of St. Peter Basilica.

“See how beautiful it is?”

“Fabulous.” The view here was so different from the Papal Office, also, a much-secured place for private meetings.

“Go on, Tommaso, don't be afraid.” Lenny needed more inside information, to help him figured out the situation, to manage the Church.

“But violating the secret of the confessional is…” Tommaso still had concerns.

“No, no, it's not. Not if the information is intended for me, the Pontiff, and is for the survival of our Church. Don't disappoint me, Tommaso.” Lenny tried to persuade Tommaso that there was nothing wrong to tell him all the details.

“Your Holiness, I'm just a poor, simple priest, and the secret of the confessional is the only respectable thing I have.” It was his job to keep others’ secrets.

“Today. But think of tomorrow.” There was one weakness of Tommaso, “Scarlet robes and the ring are in your future. The cardinalship, my dear. Which is much more respectable.”

“What if someone hears us?” Being a cardinal was Tommaso’s dream.

Lenny looked up to the sky, “Only He can hear us up here.”

“Who knows where He is?”

“There!” Lenny pointed out to the sky, “By the big dipper. That's where God's house is.”

“God's house!” Tommaso was amazed, no one knows where the God’s House is. “What's it like?”

“Half of a duplex, with a private swimming pool.” Lenny was eager to know more, “Come on now, tell me people's sins.”

“Well, have I already told you about Voiello's impure thoughts about the Venus of Willendorf?

“Yes, yes you told me already.” That was a very useful one, “What else?”

Tommaso started laughing, Lenny raised his eyebrows, “No, nothing Cardinal Aguirre did an imitation of you today, Your Holiness. Everyone laughed.”

“Did you laugh?”

“Yes,” Tommaso confessed, “but to myself. So no one noticed.”

“Good. What else?”

“Everybody is wondering who Sister Mary is to you, what she's doing here.”

That was exactly what Lenny cared about, he needed to be more careful from now on. He didn’t want Sister Mary to get hurt or let her become the centre of the conflict. “What else?”

“Everybody is also wondering: is the Pope thinking about his first homily? I ask myself the same thing all the time.”

“Of course, I'm thinking about it. It's all I think about. I even dreamt about it.” That was the tough task Lenny was still working on.

“I'm let you in on a secret: ever since I was little, I've learnt to confound people's ideas on what's going on in my head.” Therefore no one could truly get to know what he is thinking.

“You're so wise, Holy Father.”

“Not only that, but I'm also intransigent, irritable, vindictive and I have a prodigious memory. And now I want to make my confession.”

“Fine. Let's go back downstairs…” Tommaso felt that would be better back to the confessional.

“No, here. Before the house of God.” Lenny insisted. He sat down and Tommaso followed.

“Oh okay. In nomine Patris, et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. _(Latin: In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.)_ ”

Lenny said with his eyes closed, “God, my conscience does not accuse me, because you do not believe I am capable of repenting. And therefore, I do not believe in you. I don't believe you are capable of saving me from myself.”

“Holy father, what are you saying?”

“I'm saying that I don't believe in God, Tommaso.”

“What are you saying, Blessed Father?” rage was written on Tommaso’s face.

“Tommaso, Tommaso.” Lenny noticed that he just went too far, “I was joking.”

Tommaso smiled with relief.

And Lenny knew that he successfully confounded Tommaso.

Did Lenny believe in God?

Yes, he did, wholeheartedly.

Even though he said he didn’t.


	3. II. I’m an Invisible Pope

For Sister Mary, there were two persons who meant so much to her, her two precious jewels: Lenny Belardo and Andrew Dussolier. She took them under her wings, since the first day they arrived at the orphanage. Andrew came first, Lenny was six months after, and they were almost the same age.

Red-haired Andrew was sent to the orphanage with tears in his eyes when he was eight. He lost both of his parents in tragedy, Sister Mary took him in on the very first day, by permitted him for calling her ‘Ma’. Like most of the children, Andrew was very quiet for the first couple of weeks, with no friends to play or to talk with. Only Sister Mary could open his heart.

Six months later, a sweet boy with blond hair came to the orphanage with his hippie’s parents. The couple claimed that they were not able to care for their son anymore, as they wanted to start a liberated life at Venice. They simply abandoned him, without looking back and walked out from the gate.

The boy was named Lenny Belardo, he was only seven.

Andrew and Lenny became friends shortly, just like a long-lost brother. Sister Mary raised them with love and care. Forty years later, one of them became a cardinal, the other became the Pope.

No mother could be as proud as Sister Mary.

After years of departed, they were finally back together, under the same roof.

“How's our pope?” Andrew asked with a cigarette in his hand.

“In seventh heaven!” Sister Mary laughed.

Andrew felt that was definitely a teasing, “In the seventh heaven, right. I mean, who would ever imagine that Lenny would become pope!”

“Me.” Sister Mary was always having faith with Lenny. “Andrew, it’s so happy to see you but I should go now. It's never a good idea for a nun to be in a cardinal's room.”

"Well, if you see our Pope, tell him to hurry up and give his address, because I would like to get back to my good works. Or bad ones, that remains to be seen.”

Sister Mary put out the cigarette, “Don't you like it here?”

“This place smells like incense and death. I prefer the smell of shit and life.” Andrew knew that he would never be fitted in here, more importantly, he was homesick.

“You haven't changed at all, I see.” Sister Mary knew that Andrew stayed here only because it was his duty, not because Lenny became the Pope, and waiting for became his right-hand man.

“And you, Ma? Will you change? Now that you've become a powerful woman?”

“That would be the cross I should bear.” Sister Mary hugged Andrew and said, “Be good.”

~ ~ ~ ~

It was never easy to be the Pope; being a cardinal, life was far more easier. After the first day, Lenny found that he was perfectly fitted for the job, and he would proceed with what he was planning to proceed with, with God’s guide and help.

He was at his office and expecting the Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy.

However, outside the office, there was a woman who came along with Voiello.

She was Sofia Dubois, the Marketing and PR Director for the Holy See. She dressed in a smart suit, like a Wall Street iron lady.

“Do you understand why I need the Holy Father's immediate approval, Your Eminence? It takes time to develop and update the merchandise, it means we have to move right away before the fakes start appearing. Do you know how much the Vatican coffers lose for every day that passes without any new papal merchandizing on the market?”

Voiello shook his head, “Not exactly.”

Sofia whispered a number to him, and he was shocking.

“Now you know why this is urgent?”

“Yes, I do. But you don't know him.” Voiello was worried, no one could understand Pope Pius XIII properly. “Believe me, he's not an easy one. He's a difficult, unpredictable man.”

“So? I'm a difficult, unpredictable woman.” Sofia chuckled, she only saw there was a challenge out there. No man that she couldn’t be handled.

“Which is precisely why I'm worried.”

“Let me handle it.” There was a big smile on her face, shined with confidence.

“Your Eminence, Holy Father would like to see you.” Sister Suree waited by the door.

~ ~ ~ ~

_What on earth is this woman doing here?_

Lenny kept his eyes closed, trying to calm down himself and waiting for his coffee. Voiello prepared the coffee like yesterday before he took the seat. And he noticed that Sofia was staring stupidly at the Pope.

Unexpectedly, a click sound broke the silence.

Lenny lit a cigarette and started smoking.

“May I smoke as well, Holy Father?” Sofia asked.

“Unfortunately, not.” Lenny looked sorry, “His Holiness John Paul II, in his day, forbid it.”

“May I tell you something, Holy Father?”

“That's why we're here.”

“With all due respect, seen from up close, you are an extraordinarily handsome man.” Sofia just wouldn’t help it; Pope Pius XIII was one of the most beautiful men she ever had seen.

She could imagine all the merchandise with his face, all of them would be the bestsellers.

 _No need to mention, I know myself quite well._ Lenny chuckled, “I had asked to meet the Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy before anyone else, and you, I think it's safe to deduce, are not the Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy.”

“No, but I would like to be.”

“So would I.” _this woman likes to play smart_ , “But they made me Pope, instead.”

“I'm Sofia, Holy Father, in charge of marketing here in Vatican City.”

Lenny inhaled deeply, “Did you study marketing in college?”

“At Harvard, to be precise,” Sofia answered immediately, without hesitation.

 _No wonder_. “Don't sound so cocky. The word ‘ _Harvard’_ may impress people around here, but to an American, it means one thing only: Decline.”

Sofia disagreed, she was so proud of her education and thought the Pope had underestimated her ability.

Lenny took a smoke and exhaled, “Did you know that when the Archbishop of Boston would visit Harvard, he'd boast to everyone that he never washed his feet? It was public knowledge, and at Easter, at the washing of the feet, everyone was terrified that the Archbishop of Boston might be chosen.”

Both Voiello and Sofia laughed.

Lenny smiled and continued, “As soon as I became his superior, I sent him three envelopes. In the first was a letter transferring him to Alaska, in the second was some soap, and in the third a notecard on which I'd written: ‘ _Choose_ ’.”

“And what did he choose?” Sofia was curious.

“The soap.”

“I imagined.” _How obvious._

“But what you couldn't possibly have imagined was the fourth letter I sent him. ‘ _Excellent choice, Archbishop_ ’ I wrote. ‘ _You'll find plenty of water in Alaska.’_ ”

“A most edifying anecdote, Holy Father.” Sofia knew the chatting time was over, time for business, “But I don't want to waste your time, so let me come right to the point of my visit.”

“Please.” Lenny put out the cigarette.

“As you know, Your Holiness, the Vatican holds a monopoly on the production of any and all merchandise with an image of the Pope on it. Today's papal turnover requires us to come up with new designs, which we will then need to get into production as quickly as possible. All those items with the Holy Father's picture on them, which the faithful just love and which make up a sizable slice of the Vatican budget.

“I see. Go on.” Lenny sat back a little.

“What would be required then is a brief photoshoot, which will then enable us to get into production as soon as possible a series of items displaying Your Holiness's picture: key chains, postcards, ashtrays, lighters, picture cards, plates…”

“Plates?” _That sounds interesting_.

“Yes, of course, Holy Father, plates too. In addition to the usual plastic plates, which sell for five euro, we were thinking of something more refined.” Sofia pulled out her iPad and shown the picture of the plates design, and continued, “It occurred to us that we might commission a special plate from Vietri, in Campania. The craftsmen there do the most marvelous decorations, so naturally, we were thinking of creating a plate with your portrait right in the center, painted by the very best Vietri's craftsmen.”

“Nice,” Lenny raised his eyebrows, “And how much would it sell for?”

“Forty-five euro, at least.”

“Ah, a reasonable price.” _Am I worth the much?_ Lenny mocked.

“I would say so, considering that we're talking about craftsmanship, Holy Father, handmade, not some cheap factory production.”

“Perhaps we could send one to all the heads of State.”

“An excellent idea, Your Eminence.” Sofia beamed.

“Good, very good.” Lenny still wore the smile on the face, _they both don’t get it._

“Very good.” Sofia was happy that she had successfully gained the approval of the project on the brand-new merchandise.

“Very, very good.” Lenny was nodding, _they still don’t get it_ , he leaned forward and said, “Wait a minute. I'll be right back.”

Both Voiello and Sofia looked at the Pope as he walked back into his private den. He came back with a white plate in his hand, and stood by the window, showing the plate to Sofia, “Do you see this plate, ma'am?”

“Yes of course I see it.” _It just a plain white plate._

“Good.” Lenny smiled and announced, “this is the sort of merchandise I'm prepared to authorize.”

“But it doesn't have your image on it, Your Holiness!” _What? No way_ _!_ Sofia argued.

“I do not have an image, my good lady, because I am no one. Do you understand? No one!” Lenny emphasized, “Only Christ exists! Only Christ. And I'm not worth forty-five, or even five euros. I am worth nothing.”

“I don't understand, Holy Father.” _That’s what sort of marketing strategy?_

A response as Lenny expected, he passed the plate to Valente, “Of course, you don't, because, as you said earlier, you studied at Harvard. And Harvard is a place in decline, where you were taught to lower yourselves. Whereas here, in the Vatican, we try to elevate ourselves.”

It seemed Sofia still didn’t have a clue.

“ _Who_ exactly is in charge of curating the image of the Pope?” Lenny asked.

Sofia sat up straight and said, “The Secretary of State entrusted that delicate task to me, Holy Father, two years ago.”

“Very good. And now I'm going to tell you, what you, as curator of the image of the Holy Father, are gonna do.” Lenny straightened his face, “You are gonna fire the Vatican's official photographer immediately. No photographs of the Pope are to be issued. Just as there were none when I was a cardinal or a bishop. Do you know why? I never allowed my picture to be taken.”

Whoever knew Lenny Belardo, all said that he was a legend. He was a highly private and secret man back to the days when he was the Archbishop of New York. He had only been seen when he held the mass, no videos and no photo taking, even interviews, were would not be allowed.

 _Why?_ To preserve and protect his reputation. With his good-looking and charming smiles, he enchanted loads of people to join the Sunday services. He knew it, even he didn’t like it. Therefore, he should uphold himself and stay away from scandals at all costs.

And now, he became Pope Pius XIII, the leader of the Catholic Church, he must be more careful. As he knew, he was walking on thin ice, and one photo, even there was nothing inappropriate, may ruin him.

“When someone manages to sneak a photograph of me, I always bought them up before they could be published. Now that I think about it, I've been training my whole life to be an invisible pope. And so, for my first address, you will see to it that the light is so dim, no photographer, no TV cameraman, and not even the faithful will see anything of me but a dark shadow, my silhouette. They will not see me because I do not exist.”

“If I may, Holy Father, what you are proposing is nothing short of suicide, media suicide.”

“Media suicide, you say?” _Really? I don’t think so._ “Fine, now try to keep up with me, if you can.”

“I'm right with you, Holy Father.”

“Good.” A faint sneer hung on Lenny’s lips. _Let the game begin_. “So, who is the most important author of the last twenty years? Careful now, not the best, virtuosity is for the arrogant, the most _important_ , the author who has sparked so much morbid curiosity that he became the most important?”

“I wouldn't know.” Sofia didn’t have a clue. “I'd say, Philip Roth.”

“No, Salinger. The most important film director?”

 _That’s easy._ Sofia answered without hesitation, “Spielberg.”

 _What a common mistake._ Lenny rolled his eyes, “No, Kubrick. Contemporary artist?”

“Jeff Koons, or Marina Abramovic.” Sofia started blind guessing.

“Banksy.” Lenny kept asking, “Electronic music group?”

“I don't know the first thing about electronic music.” _That’s not my area_.

Lenny was disappointed, “You say Harvard is a good university! Anyway, Daft Punk.”

“How about the best Italian female vocalist?” Voiello tried to help.

“Mina?” Sofia was not so sure.

“Brava!” Lenny looked at Sofia. _Finally, you got one right_ , “Now do you know what it is, what the invisible red thread is that connects them all, all these most important figures in their respective fields? None of them let themselves be seen. None of them let themselves be photographed.”

“But you're not an artist, Holy Father.” Voiello disagreed and found that there were totally irrelevant. “You are a Head of State.”

“Yes, of a city-state so small that it has no outlet to the sea, and in order to survive, its leader has to make himself as unreachable as a rock star.” Lenny made out his point, “The Vatican survives thanks to hyperbole. So, we shall generate hyperbole, but this time in reverse.”

Most people liked to dig the other’s secrets, so _the more mysterious I am, the more they liked. Isn’t it?_

“I'm beginning to get your point, Holy Father.” Sofia smiled. “Yes, not only am I beginning to get it, I'm beginning to like it, too.”

“Good, very good.” Lenny was pleased, he got himself an ally.

~ ~ ~ ~

Later in the afternoon, Lenny was led to a warehouse at the Gardens, where he was keeping all the gifts he received.

All shelves were full of all kinds of gifts: vases, big and small statues, clocks, jewellery, plates…even some unusual items, such as motorbike and workout machine. Together, there were boxes of stuff, one of them was full of cigarette lighters.

“A British newspaper got the scoop with the headline ‘ _The Pope Smokes_ ’, and this is how the world responded.”

“Well, in this case, I will never short of lighters of my whole life.” Lenny spotted one with St. Mark’s Square of Venice on it. He picked it up, it had a tag attached with a name Rosetta on it.

“Anything wrong, Holy Father?” Valente asked.

“Nothing.” He pulled off the tag and kept the lighter in his pocket.

After that, there was a table with small boxes, full of letters from the faithful around the World.

Lenny picked up a drawing, with a letter on it:

_Dear Pope,_

_What do I have to do to believe in God?_

_-Tommy, Amarillo, Texas._

“I want us to write back to all the children.” Lenny cared about children.

“Of course, Holy Father.”

“And how would you respond to this child, Eminence?”

“I…” Not waiting for Cardinal Aguirre’s response, Lenny said, “You'd write back and say: ‘Dear Tommy, think of all the things you like. There, that's what God is’ …"

Lenny stopped when there was a banging sound from the back.

“I knew it, there are mice in here.” Cardinals said, skeptically.

However, Lenny was very calm, he folded the letter into a small piece, then put it in his pocket, “That's no mouse.”

He followed the sound to the back, there was a covered cage about eight feet tall.

“A gift from the Australian Foreign Minister, Holy Father. We thought we would donate it to the bio park.”

“What do you mean ‘Bio Park’?” Clearly, that must be an animal, Lenny pulled down the cloth.

“The zoo, Holy Father.” Said the priest.

“Not on your life,” Lenny said in a lower voice, he unlocked the cage and looked inside. He smiled, reached out his hand, and said, “You can come out, sweetie.”

The animal inside slowly came out.

Everyone was shocked as the animal finally showed itself.

It was a kangaroo.

“We'll set him free in the gardens.” Lenny was happy as he got his own pet. _I should write to_ _the Australian Foreign Minister_. Then he left the warehouse with the kangaroo.

~ ~ ~ ~

When Lenny was enjoying his time with the kangaroo, Sister Mary chose to take a walk of the other side of the gardens on her way back.

Where she met Voiello, who was reading a newspaper. “Do you intend to follow me even in my more private moments?”

“I wasn't following you, I just found you here.” Sister Mary was telling the truth, she was planning to go back to the office.

“Well, you know, just one day, and we've already discovered we have something in common.” Voiello put down the newspaper.

“Don't be funny with me.”

“No, I've never been more serious, and worried about the Pope.”

“The Pope is a saint. Let him be the one to worry about you.”

“Yes, I've been told he chats with kangaroos, a St. Francis of Sydney.” Voiello mocked, “The Holy Father and you would do well to be a little more humble. The Vatican is a State. There is politics, finances, there are delicate balances and grave dangers if those balances are upset.”

“Yes, but there are also lobbies, internal tensions, scandals, vendettas, and threats. All of this the Holy Father understands only too well.”

“His bizarre refusal to show himself in public is just crazy.” Being seen by the faithful was the duty of the Pope.

“To reveal his eyes, right now, maybe too much, too much for the world.” Sister Mary knew Lenny quite well, he didn’t use to be in the public. He just a servant who serves God, not a pop star or a celebrity. He had faith and ambition, she believed he would be a great pope.

“I'm afraid I don't follow you.” Voiello puzzled.

“You will, one day.” Sister Mary ensured. “Let me reassure you that we intend to tackle all the concerns that you have raised, one by one.”

 _We?_ Voiello was highly alerted, “Who's we? You and the Pope? Do we have two popes now?”

Sister Mary smelled smoke but chose to ignore it, she continued, “We also intended to tackle the question of the Secretary of State.”

“Sister Mary, I must admit, you're a first-class adversary. Anyway, here is the address I wrote for Holy Father. I worked on it all night long. It's a good address. It's well balanced, prudent, and takes account of various positions.”

“It's diplomatic, in other words.” She collected the folder, “Haven't you realized the Pope is indifferent to diplomacy?”

“Yes,” _that’s why I am worried, the Pope seems to have no idea how the Vatican works,_ “the Pope needs to know that as an anomalous State, diplomacy is the only thing we have. Let me say again, it's a good address, with all my commitment and passion.”

~ ~ ~ ~

It was always nice to having dinner with Sister Mary, especially after being apart for so many years.

“Have you already seen Dussolier?” Lenny asked Sister Mary at the dinner table.

“Ehm…no, not yet.”

Lenny glanced, noticed Sister Mary was trying to hide her face under her veil.

“Do you have any ideas for your first address? Because you could ask Spencer for advice.” Sister Mary suggested.

“I don't need Spencer's advice.” _My mentor is still mad at me, he won’t want to see me even I really need his help._ Lenny thought.

“That incident today, with the kangaroo was…”

“Stop it. It was nothing.” Lenny looked at Sister Mary, “Just chance.”

“Okay, just chance.” Sister Mary didn’t want to give up, she wanted Lenny to know that he was special and blessed by God, “And that time when we were…”

“Stop it.” Lenny interrupted; he didn’t want to talk about it.

The dinner was fell into silence.

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Voiello was helping a friend to look after a child who was suffered from a serious physical disable. He got the door when the doorbell rang.

“Good evening, Your Eminence.” It was Amatucci.

“Good evening.”

Voiello showed him in and came back after he put the boy to bed.

“His childhood?” Voiello asked.

“His parents, both hippies, abandon him at an orphanage, and I’m quite sure they give fake names to Sister Mary, making it impossible for Lenny to find them. Sister Mary's orphanage has ties to Cardinal Spencer's university. Spencer at that time was in New York.” Amatucci reported, “Of all her little orphans, the only one she recommends to him was Lenny. At Spencer's side, we're familiar with the direction his career takes. Lenny succeeds him when Spencer is called to the Curia. He takes over the entire Archdiocese of New York at a young age and becomes a cardinal at the age of 42.”

“But if Lenny was so submissive, so dull, why did Spencer favour him so much?” Voiello didn’t understand, Lenny was never a submissive. For what he behaved in the last couple of days, he was not a submissive at all. _How come Spencer didn’t find out?_

“Precisely, because he never threatened Spencer's boundless ego. And besides, Spencer has always preferred servile underlings.”

“But now, he's the one who has to serve that little boy.” Spencer miscalculated this time. “Lenny's moral conduct?”

“Irreproachable. No gossip, no insinuations, even no love affairs.”

 _Really? Only a saint can have a perfect record_. As a man, you couldn’t be flawless. “What do you think his sexual orientation is?”

“Unknown.”

“And?”

“He only cares about the Church.”

“Then the Church is female.” Voiello eyed outside.

_May God bless us all._

~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, Sister Mary walked into the Pope’s Office when Lenny was having a meeting with Cardinal Assente. She left a red folder on his desk, which was the draft of the Pope’s first speech prepared by Voiello. Lenny just took a look, without a word or a glance at her then closed the folder.

“Thank you, Sister Mary.”

Lenny waited until Sister Mary left.

“So, I finally get to meet the Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy. I've been anxious to see you.” This meeting was supposed to be scheduled on yesterday.

“Here I am, Holy Father.” Said Assente, with a bow.

“Did you vote for me in the Conclave, Your Eminence?” Lenny asked.

“Not even once,” Assente replied without hesitation.

“Why not?”

“Even though I don't know your ideas, in truth, no one does. You are a pupil of Cardinal Spencer, he is a conservative, a moderate one, but a conservative, nonetheless. I am not a conservative. I figured that you were probably a conservative as well. Are you, Holy Father?”

“What do you think?” Lenny wondered what Assente was going to say.

“I think that if the name you have chosen, Pius XIII, is intended to signal a continuity with Pius XII, then there is the reason for concern. Let's not forget that Pius XI considered Mussolini to be a man of divine providence. At any rate, the College of Cardinals was very rash to elect a pontiff whose ideas and orientation they did not know.”

“I agree with you. It was rash.” _So, he is not one of them._

“At any rate, Holy Father, please do not take this as a criticism, or think that this will in any way dampen my obedience. You asked me a question I considered it my duty to respond truthfully.”

“I appreciate your sincerity.” Lenny was very grateful that Assente was honest with him. “I'm going to ask you another question, and you will grant me the courtesy of another sincere answer.”

“Of course, Holy Father.”

“Are you homosexual, Your Eminence?” The sexual orientation of priests and cardinals was Lenny’s main concern, he didn’t want any sexual scandal under his papacy.

It was not the question that Assente expected. He thought that might be something about the Church’s future. It took him a while to consider how to answer to the Pope. However, the Pope needed his sincerity, which left him no choice.

He took a deep breath, and made his confession, “Yes, Holy Father.”

_So, the rumor is true._

Lenny said nothing but leaned down and pushed the button under the desk.

Assente’s eyes were wide opened - _the Pope is anti-gay. I’m doomed._

Sister Suree came in.

Lenny stood up and held out his hand, “Goodbye, Your Eminence. Sister Suree, see Cardinal Assente out for me please.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After the meeting with Assente, Lenny went up to the rooftop of the Basilica, pacing. _There is something wrong. Something is plotting behind me._

He was waiting for Tommaso.

He didn’t like being in dark, being uninformed, being uncertain.

He just didn’t like these _feelings_.

With a click sound, Tommaso showed himself through the door.

“What are you going to tell me?” Lenny asked.

“I saw Sister Mary coming out of Cardinal Dussolier's room yesterday.”

 _Why she lied to me?_ Lenny narrowed his eyes, “What else?”

“People are saying that Sister Mary is the real Pope, not you.”

“Who's saying that?” Lenny felt his blood began to boil up. _Who dares!_

“Cardinal Ozolins. He's heard it said that Sister Mary uses ‘we’ when she talks about the Pope. _‘We will do, we will tack’_ , I overheard him talking to the Vatican Secretary of State: ‘Lenny semper puer.’ _(Latin: Lenny is always a child)_ , he said.”

“And how did the Vatican Secretary of State react?”

“He was impassive. He's a clever devil. But it's a lie, what Ozolins says.” Tommaso looked at His Holiness, he could tell that His Holiness was very upset. And he was feeling upset too, “It is a lie. Isn't it, Holy Father?”

“Of course, it's a lie. A woman will never become the pope.” He was trying to control his anger. “I am the Pope.”

 _My Lord, please guide me! Tell me what to do!_ Lenny looked up to the sky and prayed.

~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, there was a piece of shocking news travelled through the Curia: Cardinal Ozolins was removed from his position: Curator of the Vatican Museums, and replaced by Cardinal Aguirre, with immediate effect.

There was the first appointment changed since Pope Pius XIII took the office. Moreover, there was a rumor that Cardinal Ozolins will be relocated outside the Vatican in the near future.

“How can I thank you, Holy Father, for having entrusted the Vatican Museums to me?”

“There's no need to thank me, Cardinal Aguirre.” _Thanked Ozolins_ , “I just think that you are more appropriate for the position, and it about time to have a change.”

“I will never let you down, Holy Father.” Cardinal Aguirre always had a warm smile.

Lenny looked at him and asked, “What made you enter the Church, Your Eminence?”

“Life is so short. I decided to opt for eternity.” Aguirre answered with calm and peace.

Lenny nodded.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was always curious about the Calling. He found that was the most mysterious connection between man and God.

After the tourist’s hour, Lenny was with Gutierrez in the Basilica, “Did you receive your calling as an adult?” Lenny asked.

“No, I heard the call.” Gutierrez pointed a corner by the nave. “Right here, when I was sixteen. Right here, where May afternoons land. It seems only yesterday, that light spoke to me: ‘ _Be calm, Bernardo, be calm. The boy had become a man._ ’ My mother, my father, they were here with me. They looked at me, but they were no longer themselves. I was no longer myself.”

Lenny looked at Gutierrez’s eyes, where was full of grace. _Yes, God does exist. Why should I doubt it?_

Gutierrez continued, “ _‘Where do afternoons land?’_ The voice of conscience asked, and I replied: ‘ _They land here_.’, and the voice responded calmly, ‘ _Yes, it's true, but I will continue to protect the boy.’_ ”

“That’s magnificence.” Lenny was fascinated. _Every Calling is a unique experience._

~ ~ ~ ~

" What have we forgotten? We have forgotten… We have forgotten… What have we forgotten? We have forgotten… We have forgotten…” Lenny was in his bed-chamber, working on his first speech.

He was trying so hard to remember the speech in his dream, but everything was a haze, he only remembered the first line. Voiello’s draft, he was not planning to use it.

With the task in his mind, he was pre-occupied when he was having a meeting with Sister Mary and Voiello, in his private study.

“What do you think, Holy Father?” Lenny was reading the cover page of the draft.

“I thought it was beautiful, I thought it was full…”

“Did I ask your opinion, Sister Mary?” Lenny said, with authority.

“What? No, I just thought…” Sister Mary was overwhelmed, Lenny never talked to her like that before.

“Keep quiet then!” He snapped and walked out of the door.

Voiello was shocked, too. _What on earth just happened?_

~ ~ ~ ~

The dining room was so quiet tonight.

Lenny looked around and found out the table was the only set up for one…for him only, “Sister Mary?”

“Sister Mary preferred to dine in her apartment this evening,” Domen replied.

He understood why Sister Mary chose not to eat with him tonight, because of what he had done this morning. He hated to explain but the damage had been done.

He finished dinner all by himself, just liked those old days.

_Does she understand, with Voiello around, my hands are tied…I have no choice but have to do this?_

Lenny felt his heart was about to split in half.

In this realm of men, women should not be in power.

He didn’t want to put her in danger, he didn’t want her to get hurt.

He felt so alone, so empty.

Even smoking couldn’t help to ease the loneliness, he was standing by the window, waiting.

Waiting for Sister Mary.

_Oh Lord! Will she forgive me? For those words, I am about to say._

“What is it you wanted to say to me?” Sister Mary stood by the door of his private study. “What have you decided about your address?”

_She is keeping a distance from me now…_

“I've got some very clear ideas about it,” Lenny said, looking outside, smoking.

“Do you think you might use some of what the Secretary of State wrote?” She suggested.

“No. It's rather weak.” He said firmly.

“I thought it was beautiful. What a shame, Lenny!”

“Sister Mary.” Lenny was struggling, for what he about to say.

“Yes, Lenny.”

“From now on,” he closed his eyes, and tears rolled, _please forgive me, Sister Mary_ , “you are to call me Your Holiness.”

Sister Mary was stunned, speechless. Finally, she found her voice, “As you wish, Your Holiness.”

Before she turned away, Lenny said, “I remembered now what it was I wanted to say to you.”

“What?”

“You can let everyone know that tomorrow evening, at 9 p.m., Pope Pius XIII will appear on the balcony of Saint Peter's Basilica and deliver his first official address.”

 _I am sorry, Sister Mary._ Lenny walked back to his bed-chamber.

~ ~ ~ ~

At late hours, Lenny was with his mentor, Cardinal Michael Spencer.

“I'm so happy you asked me to come to see you. I love you, Michael.” Lenny was in Michael’s apartment. “I couldn't wait to talk with you, Michael, to thank you, and to tell you I owe it all to you that I've gotten this far. You taught me about life, you taught me about Theology.”

“I was supposed to be pope,” Michael announced, with disappointment.

“I know,” Lenny said. Before the Conclave, Michael was the favourite for the papacy. “But that was your mistake.”

“You could have refused the deal Voiello offered you: To betray me in exchange for the election.” Michael believed that Lenny had a deal with Voiello.

“What are you talking about? No one ever offered me a deal.” Lenny didn’t understand. _If there was one, then I no need to find out who make me Pope._

“You liar!” Michael bellowed. “But I don't expect anything from you. You don't know how to love.”

“Don't talk to me like that. Please.” Lenny pleaded. _That hurts!_

“If you think I'm gonna talk to you differently now that you're Pope, let me tell you something, Lenny, that's never going to happen. Never!”

“Don't talk to me like that, you're hurting me.” _I hurt Sister Mary, so now Michael hurt me…_

“I'm hurting you? You've ruined my life. You destroyed any sense of destiny in my life.” Michael’s voice was full of rage.

“So,” Lenny tried to change the subject, “I spoke with Assente. He confessed to being gay. It's unacceptable that a homosexual heads the congregation that trains priests. He's out.”

“That's nuts.”

“I want you to take his place.” Lenny was sincere, “We'll work together side by side, every day. You can continue to mentor me, just like you've always done.”

“Are you crazy? People will say you are just doing a favour for a friend. Who have you taken me for? Did you really think I'd accept your charity?”

“Charity? No!” He couldn’t believe what just Michael said. “I don't have the power to make you pope, Michael.”

“It's not true that you don't have the power to make me pope. You do.”

“What?”

“Resign. I'll win in the next Conclave.” Michael was so sure about it.

“I wouldn't be so sure.” Lenny disagreed, “The Conclave is mysterious.”

“You don't know shit! You're just the blue-eyed kid.” Michael laughed, “The Conclave is merely a place where games get played. Games in which you were never included.”

Michael hinted that Lenny was not qualified as the Pope. He got elected was a mistake.

“You're just saying that to hurt me.”

“I'm saying it because I'm the one who invented all the games that get played during Conclaves.”

“If you invented them, then why aren't you pope?”

“I shall soon find out.”

“Things went the way they did, Michael.” Lenny pleaded; he couldn’t bear to lose his mentor. “Please, just accept it and accept the post as Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy. You'll be the most powerful man in the whole Church.”

There was one more thing Lenny needed him most, “and Michael, help me. I'm begging you, help me write my first speech. I need you.”

“But I don't need you, Lenny,” Michael shouted.

“Help me write my speech, I need your advice.” Lenny insisted.

“I have no more advice.” Michael yelled, “Get out of my house, Lenny!”

 _Oh Lord! Is this my punishment for hurting Sister Mary?_ Lenny felt light-headed and vulnerable, “Why did you have me come here, Michael?”

“To remind you that you're the Pope now. And you are all alone. Just as you have always been.”

“Please, Michael!” _No need to mention, I know. My parents don’t love me. That’s why they abandoned me._

“You're nothing. Nothing! Your Holiness Pius XIII!”

~ ~ ~ ~

After leaving Michael’s house, Lenny was so lost, he needed Sister Mary. He knew it was late, he still went to knock on her door.

Sister Mary was surprised when Lenny showed up at her door.

“Tell me about my parents.” He asked when he walked inside.

“Your parents left you at the orphanage, saying they couldn't keep you anymore because they had to go to Venice.”

This was the version Lenny had heard hundred times already. He wanted to know more, why they abandoned their own son?

“And you didn't ask them what they had to do in Venice?”

“We didn't ask questions.”

“What were they like?”

“I don't remember, Lenny.” Sister Mary knew there must be something that made him so upset. “I must have seen thousands of parents leave their children with us; I can't remember them all.”

“I remember them.” Lenny took out his precious smoking pipe, “at least I remember them in my dreams. In theory, they might still be alive.”

“Yes. They'd be just over seventy now.”

“And, in theory, they might still be in Venice.” Hope might be still out there.

“Logically, yes. But they could be anywhere, Lenny.”

“I search everywhere, I pray everywhere.” Lenny cried, “But I don't see God. Because I don't see my father. Because I don't see my mother.”

Lenny was just longing for his parents.

“I, on the other hand, see everything.” Sister Mary said softly.

“What do you see?” His eyes covered with wretched.

“God's plan.” Sister Mary looked in his eyes, “A complex architecture that depends on you, Your Holiness. Everything is so clear.”

“No one loves me,” His voice full of hurt and lost, liked he was giving up, “which is why I am prepared for every kind of vileness, from everyone.”

Sister Mary slapped on his face; Lenny looked shocking. Then she held his face in her hands, she searched that spark in Lenny’s eyes, “Holy Father, I see Christ's reflection in you.”

“And Dussolier?” he asked.

“I see Christ's reflection in him too. But yours are stronger.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was reading the speech that drafted by Voiello.

“My dear faithful ones, I'm sorry I'm late. But here I am. Look at me. Only don't look at me. Look up. Do you see the sky? Do you see God? No? No matter. Now, look at the person next to you. Look joyfully upon him, and remember what Saint Augustine said: _If you want to see God, you have the means to do it_. God is love.”

This speech was not enough.

That was not the speech he wanted to deliver. Those words were Voiello’s.

_Those are not mine._

Even his conscience said ‘No’, too.

_If I used this, there will be no Pope, only Voiello’s puppet._

_No. This will be my speech._

_Because, I am the Pope._

~ ~ ~ ~

The clock was clicking.

Lenny was pacing at his chamber, still working on his first speech. He was getting distressed, so he knelt in front of the window, arms opened, let the sunlight shining over him, with eyes closed, he started to pray.

_My Lord, help me. Help me to speak for you. Inspire me, when nobody hears you. Let me be your voice._

He prayed and prayed.

Repeated it again and again.

His mind got clear and clear.

When his eyes opened, he saw a folded paper on his nightstand. He fetched and unfolded it - it was the letter from Tommy.

Lenny smiled. _That’s it. Thank you, Lord._

And now, he needed to prepare himself for the homily.

He dressed himself with the basic white shirt and trousers underneath. Next, he put on the white silk cassock, fascia on his waist, followed by the lace-trimmed rochet. Finally, the red papal mozzetta and the red gold-embroidered stole on top finished with his white zucchetto, white socks, red slippers, and the pectoral cross.

Looked at himself at the mirror one more time, Pope Pius XIII was ready for his first speech.

When he arrived at the Basilica, he was greeted by the College of Cardinals, he took the seat and waited.

Sofia had setup the balcony exactly as he wished: no spotlights from the front, or the side, or overhead, only a dim light from the back, therefore, only a dark shadow or the silhouette of him could be seen.

Now the crowd on the square was cheering, waiting for their Pope. Lenny was nervous, he looked at Sister Mary. She gave him a warm smile, that made him felt so much better. Then he waited, waited until Cardinal Andrew Dussolier showed up. He was late.

After he joined the cardinals, Lenny stood up, with the red folder in his hand, he walked towards the balcony.

“Let yourself go, Your Holiness,” said Gutierrez.

“And if the saint here were you, Gutierrez?”

They both smiled at each other.

He walked through the French doors; Pope Pius XIII finally showed himself to the faithful. He opened the folder and placed it on the stand.

“What have we forgotten?” Lenny asked the crowd.

“What have we forgotten? We have forgotten God! You! You have forgotten God! I want to be very clear with you. You have to be closer to God than to each other. I am closer to God than I am to you. You need to know that I will never be close to you. Because everyone is alone before God.”

The cheers from the crowd were gone, only left was the chill. The photographers on the press stand were frustrated because none of them were able to take a _normal_ photo of Pope Pius XIII.

“I have nothing to say to those who have even the slightest doubt about God. All I can do is remind them of my scorn. And their wretchedness. I don't have the proof of God existence; it is up to you to prove that He doesn't. Are you capable of proving that God does not exist? If you aren't able to prove it, then it means that God does exist.

“God exists, and He isn't interested in us until we become interested in Him, in Him exclusively. Do you understand what I am saying? Ex-clu-sive-ly! Twenty-four hours a day. Your hearts and minds filled only with God. There's no room for anything else. No room for free will, no room for liberty, no room for emancipation.

“‘Free yourself from God’, I've heard people say. ‘Liberate yourself from God’, but the pain of liberation is unbearable, sharp enough to kill. Without God, you are as good as dead. Dead, abandoned strays wandering the streets.”

“We want to look you in the face.” Someone from the crowd shouted.

“You want to look me in my face?” Lenny asked, he pointed to the sky and continued, “Go see God first! I won't help you. I'm not gonna show you the way. Search for it. Find Him. And when you have found God, perhaps you will see me as well.”

The faithful didn’t seem to understand the Pope’s speech, also, they were more upset that they could not see the Pope properly. From the crowd, there was a laser beam spotted on Lenny.

“Stop it!” Lenny was furious, “How dare you shine a light on your Pope? What you are doing is more than a simple lack of respect. I don't know if you deserve me.”

Lenny could not stand such an insult, “I don't know. At this point, I don't know if you are worthy of me. I don't know.”

Thunderstruck through the sky when Pope Pius XIII turned away and disappeared from the balcony.

Thunderstorms all night.

_Is God upset too?_


	4. III. The Secret Revealed

Voilello came to Michael’s place right after the homily, to discuss the issue.

“We had a deal, Angelo!” Michael barked, “Me! Pope. You! Reconfirmed the Secretary of State. The perfect balance. But then you broke our agreement. You pulled that kid out of the hat, my own student. You really are a shit! You won't be able to manage him, you know. You must have learnt that by now, after that homily he gave. How stupid can you be! You were so fearful of my extremis, that you forgot the most obvious truth: The young are always more extreme than the old.”

Michael knew Lenny more than anyone, he was Lenny’s mentor since Lenny was in his early twenties. If Voiello thought he could manage Lenny, or even controlled Lenny, he was overestimated his abilities.

Lenny Belardo was unable to control, because, he needed to be in control.

“But there is another truth, Michael.” Voiello tried to explain.

“What other truth? That you were afraid old Spencer would be beyond your control? Well, now you got yourself a young Spencer. The Church is gonna be in his clutches for a long time.” Lenny was only 47, he could be in the position for decades, “And it's not even a given that you'll be reconfirmed. I don't understand, what are you getting out of all this?”

“You don't understand because you don't allow me to tell you the truth.” Voiello pleaded.

“And what truth would that be? Don’t tell me that is _the Holy Spirit breathed_.”

“It’s true. I didn't plot against you. I didn't direct my men to vote for Belardo.” Voiello did let people believe that was the truth so that he can maintain his power. “But at a certain point, without anyone giving instructions, Belardo started winning votes. That is the unspeakable truth, Michael.”

“Don't play with me, Angelo! What do you expect me to believe?” Michael yelled.

“That what we witnessed in there was the breath of the Holy Spirit. I think so, Michael, I really do.”

“You're out of your mind.” Michael didn’t believe Voiello, not for a second.

~ ~ ~ ~

Deep in the night, Lenny, who changed back into the white tracksuits, with Tommaso at their usual spot on the rooftop of the Basilica, sitting next to each other.

Lenny looked up to the starry sky, talking about the last Conclave.

“All of us cardinals were there, at the Conclave. We were on the fourth ballot, the famous total stalemate. I looked at Cardinal Dussolier, a longshot for the Papacy, we've known each other since we were kids, we've shared every suffering imaginable. I looked at tall, stoop-shouldered Cardinal Spencer, my mentor, the most eligible of all the candidates, looking so wise. I've always been suspicious of wisdom.

“I'm convinced he was already drafting his first papal address in his head, maybe even composing his first encyclical. I looked and looked at them. And then I prayed to God.”

“You did well to pray.” Tommaso said, “At any rate, it is the Holy Spirit who must illumine.”

Lenny continued, eyes with determination, “This was the prayer I muttered between my teeth: _Lord, I don't care with what means, licit or illicit, they're all fine, I don't care about the Holy Spirit, whether He illumines me or not, I DON’T CARE about anything, I DON’T CARE about your opinions, or if I'm up to the task, or if I'm not an outsider or a longshot, I don't care if you think I'm weak, or a scoundrel, I DON’T CARE about loving my neighbour as myself, I WILL NEVER love my neighbour as myself. I only care about one thing: Lord, that I, not the others, can be useful to You._

“I prayed some more, harder this time. I was praying so hard I nearly shit my pants. I had to glue my ass to my chair so as not to make a mess, I stared, straight to Dussolier and I said: _God, not him, me_. I looked at Spencer and I said: _God, not him, me_.”

Lenny took a breath, eyes straight to the front, “I must have chanted those words a thousand times before they opened the voting again, like a mantra: _not him, me, not him, me, not him, me, not him, me_. And then, toward the end: _not them, me_. And now I'm the Pope. Not them. Me.

“Sister Mary would call it a miracle. Others would call it the answer to a prayer. But I don't know what to call it. They all went white when they heard the name I'd chosen, and I reveled in their fear.

“They were beginning to realize who I am! Because that is the enormous error they committed: they chose a pope they didn't know. And today they began to understand. That is their tremendous sin: they chose a Pope they presumed they knew. I spoke my new name, Pius XIII, and _they_ forgot to thank God because they thought that God had failed to illumine them. _I_ forgot to thank God, because I didn't think God had illumined them either. I love myself more than my neighbor, more than God, I believe only in myself, I am the lord omnipotent: Lenny, you have illumined yourself!”

Tommaso was staring at his Pope, hearing he talked about the Conclave – the most mysterious event of the Church, and for a moment, he found that his Pope was so arrogant, which made him upset, and yet he found that his Pope was so devoted too, if not, why he needed to pray to God? And if he was not the one, why God replied, by making him Pope?

He just couldn’t know how to cope with it.

Because, His Holiness, Pope Pius XIII, was so incomprehensible.

~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, when Lenny woke up, he was in a panic.

_I had said something awful last night…_

His conscience kicked in. He knelt by his bed, asking for God’s forgiveness, with all his sincerity, “Forgive me, Lord, for I have been unforgivable. It's not true that I illumine myself. YOU illumine me. It's not true that I feel omnipotent. You are the Lord Omnipotent. It's not true that I don't care about anything. The only thing I care about is YOU. You alone!”

_Oh Lord, I’m an awful man. Forgive me, Lord, I am begging you._

“And if I've forgotten to thank You, I thank You now. And if I've sinned by presumption, I ask Your forgiveness now. And if I've tricked that poor Don Tommaso, I ask Your forgiveness now. And if I have frightened people, I ask Your forgiveness now. And if I have wished Spencer and Dussolier harm, I ask You send harm my way as well. And if I have abused my power, I ask You to take it from me now.

“Forgive me, Lord, illumine me. Give me the words to say to the cardinals. My address regards You. My words are Your words. I keep praying for You to make something happen, so why this awful, crawling feeling that nothing ever does?

“I know, dictate to me, Lord. Yes, dictate to me. I've always been good at taking notes, You know that. You know that.”

However, the silence was the only answer from God.

~ ~ ~ ~

They made a mistake. Everything didn’t go as they expected, and now, after the Pope’s first homily, the situation was getting worse. They needed damage control.

“It's been four hundred years since a Pope took such a hostile stance toward the faithful.” Cardinal Caltanissetta was worried.

“In any case, I have to talk with the Pope soon. I'll make a point of divining his intentions.” Voiello tried to reassure his fellow cardinals.

“ _‘Divining his intentions’_? Voiello, you'd said: I report to you, the Pope reports to me. You didn’t get the job done. The Pope’s speech was just one false step.” Said Ozolins.

“We have a young Pope,” Voiello said, liked thing got out of hands was none of his business.

Then, who put Lenny in power?

“Have you been reading the paper? They're all asking, ‘ _What is the Cardinal Secretary of State doing?’_ ” Ozolins read out one of the newspaper headlines.

“I know what to do. A dramatic gesture.” Cardinal Caltanissetta had a suggestion, “Voiello, you need to hand in your resignation. Today.”

“Excellent! That's what you'll do, Voiello.” Ozolins agreed.

When people getting desperate, they couldn’t think straight, and they might make the wrong decision.

But not Voiello, he was the man behind the scene.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was satisfied with the picture of the newspapers around the world. They were almost the same: none of them catch his face clearly, only the dark shadow.

But, on the other hand, Voiello was not on the same page.

“I'm willing to bet, that in the aftermath of my homily, you're ready to hand in your resignation,” Lenny said casually and reading Voiello, wondering his next move would be.

“I wouldn't even think of it, Holy Father,” said Voiello.

“Were you hurt not to hear the homily you drafted for me? Frustration is an emotion that does not appertain to the Secretary of State.” Lenny was teasing, “Did you like my homily?”

“That's not the point.” Voiello was choosing not to respond.

“Then let's hear the point.” _Okay, as you wish._

“The point is that the faithful were, to put it euphemistically, surprised.” Voiello gave the Pope an endnote of his first homily. “More than surprised, they were overwhelmed.”

Lenny didn’t think there was much faithful who would truly understand it. “God overwhelms. God frightens.”

There was no more discussion about his first homily, that bored Lenny. “Priorities?”

“Your speech to our brother cardinals.”

“In due time.” _You guys better wait. Not until THAT is ready._ _“_ Anything else?”

“The Kurtwell case, Holy Father.”

“Oh, the big hot potato,” Lenny said dramatically.

“Exactly, Holy Father. Your predecessor didn't have time to put someone in charge of this delicate matter.”

“But I will,” Lenny said with determination.

Kurtwell was a so-call old colleague of him, Lenny knew the world would pay huge attention to this matter.

_It’s my mistake to overlook this matter, I should know it a long time ago! I was the Archbishop of New York._

“In due time.” Lenny took a smoke. He was mad with himself. This needed to be done. However, this is a very delicate matter.

“With all due respect, Holy Father, the time is _now_. The charges of the child-abuse are detailed and embarrassing, and Kurtwell's attitude is, to say the least, defiant and insolent.”

“Anything else?”

“Holy Father, it's my duty to inform you that the press and the TV news, after attacking us over your inaugural speech, have now begun a new phase in which they ask us to clarify the meaning of your statements.”

“Typical plebeian reaction: to hate when you do not understand.” Lenny really didn’t care they understood his homily or not.

“How are we going to put over the idea that the world press corps has difficulty understanding the basic concepts? A potential compromise might be to call a press conference - to explain things?” Voiello thought they were necessary to give an explanation, to settle the doubts.

“I don't appear, and I don't explain.”

“Not you, Holy Father.”

“Not you too. We no longer give interviews, Your Eminence. The only interviews we give are to God.”

“Too bad he hasn't requested one yet, it would be quite the scoop.” Sofia said with a tone of a tease, “Holy Father, the press is begging for a photo of you.”

“No.”

A soft knock on the door and Valente walked in, “Holy Father, it's Cardinal Ozolins.”

“Let him in.” _It’s about time_ , Lenny thought, “I've been expecting him.”

“You wished to see me, Your Holiness?”

“Yes, and for the last time, Ozolins.”

Ozolins held the Pope’s hand with a kiss on the ring.

“Come with me.” Lenny waltzed to the big glass globe, and Ozolins followed. He eyed Voiello and hoped he could give him a clue.

“Now,” Lenny rotated the globe, “close your eyes and choose your new destination.”

 _The rumor about my relocation is true_. “What have I done wrong, Holy Father?”

“Nothing.” Lenny said, “It’s just that your role under the previous Popes was to organize their travels. A role which I intend to radically rescale, because I won't be wasting time roaming the world. As a result, I no longer need you.”

With an apologetic smile, Lenny continued, “It would be beneath your stature as a cardinal to accept a diminished role, so, please.”

“Then why do I get the impression that you're out to diminish me even further?”

“Because it's true! Now close your eyes and plant a finger on the globe.”

Ozolins was struggling, reluctantly he closed his eyes and planted his finger on the globe.

“Ketchikan, Alaska!” Lenny happily announced.

“Actually, Holy Father, San Francisco is what turned up.” Ozolins checked on the globe.

“You're not right there, Ozolins.”

_Well, the Pope said you are not, then you are not._

“Oh, Ketchikan. It's a lovely place, I've been there. A nice little town, population 8000. You'll like it.” Lenny said, still smiling.

“Is it cold there?” _I can’t stand with cold._

“Oh, yeah, it's freezing. But don't forget Nobel laureate Joseph Brodsky's wonderful words: _Beauty at low temperatures is beauty_.”

Then Lenny turned around and met Voiello’s eyes.

0 to 2, Voiello lost, for the second time.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was a nice afternoon, after the morning meeting, Lenny was in a good mood, so he planned to go to the Gardens for a walk. Perhaps, he might meet his kangaroo. But he had no luck today, so he took a seat by the fountain, with Bible in his hand, he started reading.

“Holy Father,” it was Cardinal Caltanissetta, “I have a little gift for you.”

His assistant passed the gift to the Pope.

Lenny took and opened it. There was a big pin. He took it out and placed on his palm, waiting.

“Blessed Father, this is a very useful object, but only if you open it.”

Lenny looked at the pin, Caltanissetta was right, _you need to open it so that you can use it_. That was how to use a pin.

However, things had always got two sides, and that could be very contradictory.

With a mischievous smile, Lenny pulled it open, made it into a square shape, and he put it on like a bracelet.

“You see?” He showed it to Caltanissetta, “It can be perfectly useful even when it's closed.”

Impressive, such an intelligent young man. “Your Holiness, will you allow me, given my venerable age, a vaguely critical observation?”

“Yes, I allow you.”

“To expect a devoted and adoring crowd to ponder the enigma of God's existence amounts to asking an obsolete question. The question now is not whether God exists, but rather, why do we depend on God? You surprised me, Holy Father. You're so young and yet you have such old ideas.”

“You're wrong about that. I'm an orphan. And orphans are never young.”

“But the majority of the churchgoers are not orphans.”

“Says who? Do you really think the only orphans are those without a mother and father?”

“Even if it were true, as an orphan grows older, he may discover a fresh youth within.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello, as the Secretary of State, suggested the Pope should hold a press conference, to explain and reassure the faithful even the world that _his_ Church means them no harm.

 _In this case, maybe a press conference won’t be a bad idea._ Lenny thought.

However, that would not be the one as Voiello expected.

Lenny summoned Sister Mary and told her _his plan_.

“We're gonna hold a press conference.”

“Voiello will be happy to face the press.” Sister Mary felt relieved.

“No, he won’t, you will.”

“Me?” she was staring at Lenny, shook her head, “I'm not up to the challenge. Besides, I wouldn't know how to respond.”

“You won't be expected to respond.” Lenny took a smoke, “You'll be expected to read out a statement, to affirm what I am going to dictate to you.”

“Just like that?” Sister Mary asked nervously.

“Just like that.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Sister Mary was on the edge, she didn’t have confidence at all.

Being the host of a press conference would be a new experience for Sister Mary, she was very, very anxious. She was worried about Lenny, so she went to visit Michael, hoping he could give Lenny a helping hand.

“And you're not worried?” Sister Mary asked with concerns.

“No, I'm not.” Michael eyed on Sister Mary, with a scotch in his hand.

“Michael, I'm worried.” she was afraid that Lenny would leaded the Church into a wrong path. “Lenny has barely begun and already they're abandoning him in droves.”

“They should have thought about it before, during the Conclave.” Michael mocked; this was the consequence of Voiello’s choice to vote him out from the papacy.

“And now you need to give it some thought.” Sister Mary suggested.

“I’ve done everything that's within my power to do.”

“It's all up to you!”

“What are you raving about?” There was no reason for Sister Mary to be mad at him.

“Lenny needs concepts and visions.” She didn’t want Lenny to get lost again, and all he needed was guidance, “I can't help with that, but you can. You are his spiritual father.”

They knew Lenny was a lost child since the day he was abandoned by his parent.

“I'm just a tired old man, and history has passed me by.”

“NO!” Sister Mary was kept on trying, “You're just a man who's pissed off because you didn't get what you wanted most. You are a man of your prominence, wallowing in such childishness: aren't you ashamed of yourself, Michael? The boy has become a man.”

“He's the father now.” Michael was being spiteful. “And I must obey him. Those are the rules.”

“You're just spouting bullshit and you know it.” Sister Mary was getting frustrated, _why man can be so stupid? “_ He needs you and you refuse to help him in the name of your bottomless vanity. You will answer for this, before God and in your ravaged conscience.”

“Lenny doesn't want my help. He just wants me to approve of his mistakes.” Poor Michael, losing his papacy had made his life miserable.

“That’s true! We both know him so well, summon him and withhold your approval. That's what all good fathers should do.”

“Let me think about it.” Michael gulped down his scotch.

~ ~ ~ ~

The conference room now was full of press and media around the world. They were expected to meet Pope Pius XIII, in a normal and formal setting.

When the time had come, Sister Mary walked in, escorted by Sofia.

Flashlights flashed here and there, however, still no Pope.

Sister Mary sat down, took a deep breath.

“The Pope has dictated the following statement: I, Pius XIII, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Province of Rome, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, and Servant of the Servants of God, wish to inform you of my total indifference to your doubts and criticism, in light of which I deem it necessary to reiterate my infallibility in contrast to your human fallibility.”

Suddenly, a reporter from the stand yelled, “Is this Pope claiming divine status?”

As the Pope had told her no needed to respond, so she continued, "And by virtue of the prerogative, which is dogmatically sanctioned by the supremacy of the Roman Pontiff, I will not tolerate any delays or compromises as I carry out my plan.”

When she finished delivered the statement, questions flew here and there –

“What plan?”

“We didn't understand anything about the plan.”

“And once more we don't understand who you are?”

“Me?” Sister Mary responded automatically, “I'm Sister Mary.”

“Who?”

“Who is Sister Mary?”

Flashlights were flashing here and there when Sister Mary left the conference room.

~ ~ ~ ~

After dinner, Lenny was in his private study, standing by the window, gazing at the St. Peter’s Square. It was quiet as usual; however, he saw that woman, again. He noticed that she was stationed at the same spot in the last couple of nights.

_That’s curious. She wants to see me…_

Lenny heard soft steps approached, it was Valente, he said, “Holy Father, Cardinal Spencer would be pleased to have you call on him this evening if you wouldn't mind.”

_All right, if she is still there when I come back, I might meet her then._

~ ~ ~ ~

When Lenny just sat down, Michael started the fire right the way.

“What unforgivable weakness!? There was no need to drag out a bunch of old absurdities from the past. All you had to do was smile and greet the crowd.”

“I don't smile, and I don't greet.” _I am the Pope, not a social celebrity_. Lenny pouted his lips.

“Did all those years you spend studying with me do you no good at all?”

“Yes, they taught me to think for myself.” Michael was truly a great teacher.

“Ah, and this is what you thought all by yourself? To set every Christian and journalist in the world against you, in the first week of your Papacy?”

Lenny interlocked his fingers and placed them underneath his chin. “This is part of my plan too.”

“What plan?”

“Absence is presence. These are the fundamentals of mystery.” Lenny did have a plan, the Church couldn’t be allowed any longer; a change, it’s necessary, “The mystery that will be at the center of my Church.”

Michael was alerted, he aware that Lenny was on a dangerous path, “Mystery is a serious matter, it's not some marketing strategy.”

“Out there, everyone must learn that it takes sacrifice and suffering to find God. They have to find Him in the cold and the dark of night. Like the way I did.”

Worship was a hardship; it was never easy to come to terms with God as the sun is setting.

“Absence is presence? Sacrifice and suffering?” Michael mocked, gulped down a scotch, “I know where these ideas are coming from because I know you even better than you know yourself.”

 _No, don’t be so sure, Michael. I have been through a long way to get here._ “Where are they coming from?”

“From your own life. Your parents rejected you, so you've spent your entire life trying to receive them within yourself. They distanced themselves from you, so you desire them.”

 _Yes, that part is the history of my life, but there are some parts you don’t know._ Lenny eyed on Michael; he was pacing.

“And then you, in your unmedicated coincide, you presumed that your needs are the same as those of a billion of the Catholics!” Michael didn’t want Lenny to be the one who ruined the Church.

“Cut out this dime-store psychoanalysis and work with me.” Lenny didn’t need a counselling session; he wanted his mentor’s trust and help.

“I don't work with nine-year-old boys. You've never budged from the front gate of that orphanage where one fine day, without explanations, your parents abandoned you…”

“Cut – it – out!” Lenny shooted him a glance. _Why do they like to hurt me in such a way?_

“May God help us! You want to make the world pay for the wrong it did you.” Michael poured himself another scotch. “You'll be a terrible Pope, the worst and the most dangerous in modern times, and I don't intend to waste the few years I have remaining being an accomplice to a vindictive little boy.”

“You are drunk.” Lenny stood up, “Good night, Michael.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Before Lenny went back to the Apostolic Palace, he took a walk at the gardens to cool his head. He stopped at a bridge, looked up into the sky. It was a night with a full moon, the moonbeam fell over him, with his pure white vestment, made him even more unreachable, like a saint.

After he became the Pope, Michael changed.

He was no longer his beloved mentor.

_He sees me as a traitor._

That hurt Lenny so badly, he was so alone. He took out a cigarette and noticed there was a shadow in the bushes. He looked closely; that was his kangaroo.

He smiled; he was always happy to meet it. However, this little fellow was never staying long, after Lenny lighted his cigarette, it disappeared.

When he back to his chamber, smoking by the window. A small shadow caught his eyes.

_She is still there._

“Valente, can you see that woman?” he asked, eyes still on her.

“I know that woman. That's Esther, the wife of Peter, a Swiss Guard.”

“I would like to meet her.”

For the first time, Pope Pius XIII was willing to meet a faithful. It would be a news headline.

Valente went out to get Esther. She was surprised.

“Why did you come to get me?” she asked.

“The Holy Father wishes to see you, this way.”

Esther was in shock. No one had ever met the Pope before. And now, she would be the first one who can meet the Holy Father physically and privately. She hurried to straighten her dress, worried whether she dressed appropriately or not.

Valente led her to the Apostolic Palace. “Haven't you ever been in here before?”

“Never, in all these years.” Even she was the wife of a Swiss Guard, she didn’t have full access to the Vatican.

“Well, what do you think?”

“It makes you feel uneasy.” And nervous too.

After they passed the great hallway, Valente knocked and opened the door, “Holy Father, here she is.”

Esther heard the voice said, “Bring her in. Thank you, Valente.”

She walked through the door and saw the Pope. He was tall, young, and very handsome, she got a feeling that he was an angel, no, a saint. She approached, knelt, and kissed his ring. 

“You wanted to meet me?” Lenny asked in a gentle voice.

The voice was so different from the homily night at the Square, it was clear and soft, not strong, and authority. Esther was amazed, how the Holy Father could notice a woman like her, in a such huge Square.

“Was that clear even from up here?”

“Why were you standing motionless in the middle of the square?”

“I wanted you to know.” She said.

“Know what?” Lenny asked, with anticipation.

“That, I loved your homily.”

Lenny was quite disappointed, “That's not enough! Because it's not enough to just love it, you also need to perceive it.”

“I think I perceived it,” Esther said firmly.

“And what else did you perceived?” He was expecting, expecting someone out there who can truly understand his homily.

“Respect.” She said, “Holy Father, in your homily said, we should stay close to God. As God is everywhere, we need to be in faith, devoted to him, wholeheartedly and exclusively. Then, we might see God, and if so, we might see you too.”

_Thank you, Lord. Thank you that there was one of them to understand me. Understand YOU. That’s enough, even though there is only one…_

Suddenly, Lenny fell backwards, and collapsed in Esther’s arms.

“Help!” Esther yelled, panicking, “somebody help!”

Valente rushed in and saw the Holy Father was in Esther’s arms. “What’s happening?”

“We…Holy Father and I were just talking…suddenly…I don’t know...Holy Father fainted, what are we going to do?” with the Holy Father on her lap, she was bewildered.

“Stay here and looking after the Holy Father, I’ll be back.” Valente ran out and made a phone call.

“Dr. Lindegard, it’s emergency, can you come now?” and then he called for Gutierrez and Sister Mary.

A few minutes later, Gutierrez ran into the Papal Office, followed by Sister Mary.

“What’s wrong…? Oh Lord!” He found the Holy Father was in a woman’s arms and unconscious, just like…the Pieta.

Sister Mary was shocking, she went next to Lenny, held his hand, “Oh Lenny…”

“We don’t know. Holy Father just collapsed…Gutierrez, please get Holy Father to bed first, I need to go get Dr. Lindegard, he is on his way.” Valente said then left the office.

Gutierrez lifted Lenny off from Esther, and went to his bed-chamber, _he is so light_. Sister Mary and Esther were praying.

Shortly after, they put the Holy Father to bed, Dr. Lendegard arrived.

It would be a long night.

~ ~ ~ ~

When Lenny was waking up, the aching was killing him. He found himself in his bed-chamber, and he had changed…he didn’t remember he had gone to bed…He was with a faithful…Esther… _How can I be here?_

Then he looked around, the chamber was dim, few shadows at the corner, and he found himself was with an IV _(intravenous)_.

“What’s wrong with me?” he sounded hoarse, trying to get up. “Can any…”

“How are you feeling, Holy Father?” A calm voice comforted Lenny, he blinked and saw a round face with glasses. “Doctor?”

The man helped him to sit up.

“Holy Father, I’m Dr. Helmer Lindegard, your private doctor. Your health is my concern.” Dr. Lindegard checked the IV, “Let me take it off, it may be a bit painful.”

Lenny nodded, “Thank you, Doctor. What time is it?”

“Slightly after one,” Dr. Lindegard said, “Holy Father, do you remember anything before you faint? Any dizziness? Headache? Or chest pain?”

“No. I just remember I was meeting with Esther…How many of you know I had fainted?”

“No worries, Holy Father, only Sister Mary, Father Valente, Monsignor Gutierrez, Esther, and me.”

“Good.” Lenny relieved, he didn’t want this passed to Voiello. “Don’t tell your wife as well, I wish it only stays between us.” Lenny requested.

“How can you…”

“Your ring, Doctor.”

“As you wish, Holy Father.” The doctor smiled and handed Lenny a glass of water.

“So…what happen to me?” He took a sip.

“Holy Father, we don’t know yet, I suggest a proper check-up. We don’t want this to happen again.”

“In private. That’s my only request.” He still felt weak, and he can’t say no to the doctor.

“Of course, I can arrange it and have it done here, Holy Father.” The doctor took out a syringe, “May I take some blood for the blood test?”

“Sure.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After all the chaos, they were all around Lenny’s bed. Lenny was touched, as everyone was worried about him. _How can I thought I will never be loved?_

With words from Dr. Lindegard, promised he would be back again in the evening, Sister Mary finally let him go and went back to her apartment. Valente escorted Esther home. And now, only left Gutierrez with Lenny.

“Holy Father, you scared us very badly.” with tears in his eyes. “Please, take care of yourself, if not for your own, do it for us.”

“I promise.” Lenny said, “Gutierrez, what happened tonight, should be kept away from Voiello. I don’t want him to have a reason to sack me.”

“Of course, Holy Father.” Gutierrez was happy that His Holiness didn’t lose his sense of humor.

Lenny was pleased, “And now, I need some sleep, see you in the morning, Gutierrez.”

“Good night, Holy Father.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny woke up with a fresh feeling. He did sleep tight, thanks for the sleeping pill from the doctor. He got off the bed and refreshed himself.

It would be a long day today.

It was unusual to see Sister Mary at breakfast. When he walked into the dining room, his Cherry Coke Zero was still there, next to it was a plate of breakfast.

“Good morning, Sister Mary.” He took his seat, eyed on the plate.

“Good morning, Your Holiness.” Sister Mary was enjoying her breakfast, “I think it’s time for Your Holiness to have a better diet.”

Lenny knew that Sister Mary was worried, after last night, he didn’t have a chance.

“How are you feeling?” Sister Mary whispered when they left the dining room.

“Never better. Let’s talk later.” Lenny smiled and gave her a wink.

It was a morning meeting, as usual, with Voiello and Sofia.

With a cigarette in his hand, Lenny said, “All right, let's get started.”

“Holy Father, I am sure that there is no need to remind you that the cardinals are expecting your speech of thanks and to be sent home.”

“You're right Voiello, there is no need to remind me, but you did it anyway. And there is no need for me to remind you that I will do it in due time. What about the papal tiara from Washington?”

“Apparently it's on its way.” _Why His Holiness cares about that papal tiara so much?_ Voiello thought, “About the Kurtwell case. I have a candidate, who is a layman, Fabio Claudio Tavarelli. He is highly impartial.”

“An impartial layman?” Lenny found that it was hard to trust an outsider.

“Yes, that's Tavarelli.” Voiello insisted, and his choice was the best.

However, Lenny would not allow Voiello to interfere with this case. “Your Eminence, you seem a bit impetuous when it comes to the Kurtwell case.”

“I'm not impetuous. I'm fair.” Voiello argued.

“Please don’t forget that the American seminaries run by Kurtwell, provide 40% of the new priests in North America.” Sister Mary added.

“Sister Mary, if the intention is to cover up the Kurtwell case…”

“No one wants to cover anything up, Your Eminence.” Lenny interrupted, and raised his voice, “I've already told you that I will oversee the Kurtwell case, and that I will appoint someone I trust.” Lenny wanted this case to be done once and for all, therefore, he needed someone he could rely on, and that person should have no tires with Voiello, or Kurtwell, of course.

“When, Holy Father? It can’t be delayed!” for Voiello that was only an excuse.

“Later. When the Holy Spirit illumines me, only the Holy Spirit hasn't scheduled a meeting with me yet.” Lenny did have someone in mind who was fitted for the job, “What else do your agenda books tell us?”

“There is one,” Sister Mary said in a cheerful voice, “On Thursday, the Holy Father is scheduled to baptize ninety children from all over Europe.”

Lenny gazed at Sister Mary, he did enjoy the Service of Baptism, but ninety of them? And being in public? “Must I really subject myself to such torture?”

“Holy Father, the Church tends to attach a fair amount of importance to baptism.” Voiello didn’t understand why His Holiness hated so much being in the public.

“Anything a little more stimulating?” Lenny wished there was something more challenging.

“In light of the statements made at the press conference, newspapers around the world have just begun to unleash holy hell.”

“Well,” Lenny was agreed with the press this time, “that's always the first step on the path to paradise.”

“I see.” Voiello said sarcastically, “I'm not the one dispensing jokes in the Vatican anymore, Your Holiness, now it's you.”

“Your Eminence, first of all: I suggest you recover as soon as possible your legendary fake courtesy.” Lenny said in a flat tone, “And secondly: my jokes contain the truth.” _Do your research, you needed to pass through the valley of the shadow of death [*Psalm23:4] before you arrive the Heaven._

“You know something, Holy Father?” Voiello wanted to fight back, “You are as handsome as Jesus, but you are not actually Jesus.”

Lenny smirked, “I may actually be more handsome, keep that to yourself.”

Voiello found that Lenny was so arrogant, so self-centre; on the contrary, being the Pope should be humbled and generous. _What a terrible mistake I ever made._

“Cardinal Spencer,” Lenny, in a slow and chilly voice, said, “in a private conversation between the two of us, alluded to certain machinations that led to my being elected Pope. He was unwilling to acquaint me with the details. I'm not going to insist with Spencer, but I am with you, Voiello.”

He still eyed outside the window, “So, tell me exactly the dynamics that went on to see me elected. Tell me right now, or what you've seen so far will be nothing but a foretaste of the macabre banquet that will bring on the ruin of the Church.”

He turned around, lifted his eyebrows, eyed on Voiello, “Explain it all, right here, right now, because even a second later will be too late. “

“Are you telling me that you're behaving irrationally with the faithful, the Vatican Curia, and the mass media because you were kept out of the loop on the behind-the-scenes machinations that led to your election?” Voiello chose the word carefully, as he needed to wrap up this mess.

“No.” Lenny closed the portable ashtray in his hand and walked towards Voiello. He couldn’t wait any longer, for the past ten days, he was trying to dig out the truth. He knew he was never the favourite one, there was no reason he could be elected.

However, everyone who was suspiciously involved was kept their mouth shut, Lenny clenched his teeth said, “I am ordering you, beginning with your next utterance, to tell me why I was elected, and what my election was supposed to mean to you all.”

Voiello’s brain was spinning, he needed to think fast to get himself out of this situation, otherwise, the truth would be revealed. He cleared his voice and said, “In truth, the Holy Spirit…”

“Stop it,” Lenny said, looked at Voiello.

 _There is no way I can walk out of this._ Unwillingly, Voiello had no choice but told Lenny the truth, “You were not supposed to be the man of the Providence, you were supposed to be the Pope of compromise.”

“What do you mean by compromise?” So, Voiello was the man-behind-the-scene, who manipulated the Conclave and made Lenny the Pope.

“Your prudence as a cardinal was interpreted as a potential bridge between the progressive positions so dear to me and the more conservative ones so dear to Spencer.” Voiello dropped his head, “You were considered to be a synthesis.”

Lenny waltzed away from Voiello, he needed some space, to think.

Voiello continued, “A happy synthesis, pleasing both to the Holy Spirit and myself, the great elector, who believing in you and your young talent, influenced a majority of cardinals. Now, for reasons that are unclear to me, you no longer want to be a bridge.”

“And this is only the beginning,” Lenny said in a cold voice.

“Why are you doing this? Why did you change?” Voiello cried indignantly.

Lenny shook his head, “Seems you don’t understand, Voiello. A Pope is not a cardinal. A cardinal works in a collegial manner, while a Pope is an absolute sovereign.”

“Fuck!” Voiello bellowed, “You were supposed to share your sovereignty with my advice and Spencer's! Not like this!”

Finally, the truth was revealed.

It was all Voiello’s plot: Voiello did have a commitment with Michael, to make him win the Conclave and he will become the Pope. However, Michael is too conservative and far independent, which means that he would not be easy under Voiello’s control. Therefore, Voiello, who wish to maintain his power as the Secretary of State, betrayed Michael by directed his men to vote against Michael, and persuaded the liberal cardinals to support Lenny Belardo, who was young, handsome, quiet, obedient, and barely know by the public, which makes him a candidate, a perfect puppet.

Lenny was really don’t know whether the liberals voted for him or not, at least Assente was not one of them. No matter what, he got elected, and he became Pope Pius XIII.

What they never know was Lenny was a person who never compromised, he was his own boss.

“A decidedly undiplomatic response, Your Eminence,” Lenny said, with a _surprise_ on his face.

“You're right, Holy Father, and I humbly beg your forgiveness.” Voiello chose to lay low for the moment.

Lenny narrowed his eyes, “I'm not sure that's enough.”

“Do you want my resignation?”

“I'm not sure _that's_ enough.” Lenny did have an idea, he said, “Sister Mary, tell Valente to go to the archives and bring the procedure for deposing a cardinal.”

Everyone was shocking. Voiello was stunned. To deposing a cardinal? Who is the Secretary of State as well? That has never happened before.

“May I ask you both to leave us for a moment?” Lenny asked.

Then both Sister Mary and Sofia left the office.

After the door was closed. Lenny faced Voiello, eyes narrowed, and said, “Your Eminence, would you have me believe that I am Pope thanks to you? But you and I both know that's not the truth.”

“But if Your Holiness thinks that you can depose the Secretary of State without all the grave repercussions that are bound to ensue, which means that Your Holiness really doesn’t understand about the way things work here.” Voiello refuted, he was one of the longest Secretary of State, the predecessor Popes relied on him, he had confidence that Lenny would not have guts to depose him.

 _Try me, Voiello._ “Your Eminence, it’s you seem don’t understand that I, as the Pope, have the absolute power to depose of you. I am not my predecessors who were afraid to break the rules, and I, am ready to face all the consequences.”

Lenny knew the only way to uphold his authority, was by controlling Voiello, forcing him to back off, and be a proper Secretary of State.

“You have no idea of how vast my powers are, here and beyond the walls of the Vatican City.”

“Are you threatening me, Voiello?” Lenny was looking at Voiello, fearless.

Then a thunder stroke through the sky, Lenny looked out of the window, and smirked, “Seems God does not agree with you too, Your Eminence.”

0 to 3. Voiello was lost for the third time.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was a stormy night, after the morning meeting with the Pope, Voiello was in an unprecedented panic - fear of losing his cardinalate. To mend the situation, he needed Michael. And now Voiello was at his door, but he was not welcomed.

“Go away. I don't wanna talk to you anymore. You're a traitor and a fool,” Michael yelled and closing the door, “and I don't know which one is worse.”

“Wait! I’m worried that we might lose the Church.” Voiello held the door, “and I didn't come alone.”

Michael found that Caltanissetta was at the door too.

“Let us in,” Caltanissetta said.

Once they are inside, Caltanissetta held out his hand, a hand with an invisible object on it. Michael was touched, _h_ _e's lifting the weight of God._

“What is the weight of God like, Michael?” Caltanissetta asked.

“Very fragile.” Michael said in a cracking voice, “It's extremely fragile.”

God can be very delicate, as He can be anything, can be anywhere; people will miss Him very easily, and He can have a very lightweight, people can throw it away without knowing that is God.

“Which is why you are going to help us to fortify God.” Michael was their last and only hope, to make Pope Pius XIII under control.

“I tried.” Michael didn’t have the energy, he was exhausted, “It's hopeless.”

“No, Michael.” Caltanissetta was still holding out his hand, he might be aged, but there was a power within his voice, “We have to spend our whole lives trying. We have to try right until the moment of our death. That's what priests do: we give God's weight!”

Tears were running down on Michael’s face, he was wretched. He was losing faith after he lost at the Conclave. He was upset that his student now became the Pope. He found that God was never been fair to him.

But now, that would be the last chance to make Lenny, Pius XIII, to change his mind, and to make him see the reality.

He rushed to the Apostolic Palace, to see the Pope.

It seemed that Lenny knew, he was ready at his office waiting for Michael.

Once Michael arrived, he knelt and kiss the ring, with guilt written on his face, he pleaded, “I beg your forgiveness, Lenny. Forgive me.”

But Lenny turned away his face and retracted his hand.

“I've come to tell you that I've changed my mind. I'll gladly accept the position of Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy.”

“I'm sorry, Michael, it's too late.” Even Lenny knew Michael didn’t take part in the machination. He was a victim. As Michael had made his choice, by choosing Voiello over him, and that broke Lenny’s heart. After he became the Pope, he was expected he could work with Michael, to reform the Church together. However, every time he asked his mentor’s help, Michael rejected him.

And now, everything was too late.

“There is no position left open for you.” Michael cried as his chance had gone forever. Lenny took a step back, “And one more thing, Cardinal Spencer.”

“What?” Michael asked, hopelessly.

“Address me as Your Holiness,”

That was the Pope’s order.

From now on, a mentor-student relationship turned into a Pope-Cardinal relationship.


	5. IV. Pray to Virgin Mary

After the meeting with Michael, an exhausted feeling was washing through Lenny, he leaned against the wall and slowly walked back to his desk. When he just sat down, he heard a soft knocked on the door.

_Yes, it’s Dr. Lindegard. He promised to come back again tonight._

There was a small group: Dr. Lindegard, Sister Mary, Valente, and Gutierrez, came in, they saw Lenny was on the armchair, pale and panting.

Dr. Lindegard rushed to his side, checking his pulse, “Holy Father, how are you feeling?”

“Doctor, I’m fine, just tired.” Lenny pushed himself up from the armchair, “wait a minute, I better go have change first.”

All eyes with worried, watched him walked back to his bed-chamber.

They all waited at the office, Dr. Lindegard asked, “Is Holy Father always like this or he just exhausted?”

“It is not my place to say anything,” Sister Mary sighed. “You better asked Holy Father himself, Doctor.”

It won’t take long for Lenny to get himself ready, in a while later, they heard the voice from the bed-chamber, “All of you may come in.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, what’s wrong with me, Doctor?” Lenny asked when Dr. Lindegard pulled off his stethoscope and the sphygmomanometer.

“Holy Father, there is nothing major issues, you are just under a lot of stress, and malnutrition or I might say …you’re starving yourself; which causes your tiredness and underweight, and that may be the reason why you fainted last time.”

“Like what I said this morning, you need a better diet, Your Holiness.” Sister Mary gave Lenny an _I-told-you-already_ look.

“Oh? How’s Holy Father’s diet?” the doctor wondered.

“Ha, a Cherry Coke Zero for breakfast, couple American coffee during the day, not eating much at lunch and dinner.” Sister Mary stated out. “Is smoking a problem too, Doctor?”

“That’s not a proper diet, Holy Father. I don’t think that it is good to have Cherry Coke Zero as breakfast. No Cherry Coke Zero! And, your daily routine needs some changes too.”

Lenny could accept any changes, but his favourite? No way! Lenny argued with the doctor, “I can’t start the day without my Cherry Coke Zero!”

“Your Holiness, please…” Sister Mary was trying to reason Lenny, but Lenny did act like a child, he was sulking.

Dr. Lindegard found His Holiness had a soft spot was so…cute. He smiled and suggested, “Humm…how about a portion of egg and bacon with a piece of toast…”

Lenny stared at him with disagreement.

“…together with a Cherry Coke Zero. Is it okay, Holy Father?”

At least he still had the one he needed most, so he agreed.

“For lunch and dinner, Holy Father, I would suggest you better eat a litter more than usual, especially on protein. Can I work with Father Valente to talk with your cook about that?” Like all doctors, Dr. Lindegard said in a steady, calm voice. “A balanced diet is essential for all of us.”

Lenny nodded, “I can try, but no promise.”

“Holy Father, you need to build up your muscle mass by exercising, so that you can put on some weight and strengthen your body, also, it can help to ease your stress.”

“I do walks a lot, and that’s relaxing. Is that not enough?” God knows that Lenny was not a sport type of person.

“I don’t think so, Holy Father. I’m not asking you to do weightlifting, perhaps swimming and workout at the gym?”

“We do have a nice pool here, Holy Father,” said Valente.

“I remembered there was a workout machine at the warehouse.” Sister Mary said in a cheerful voice.

“Really?” Lenny asked, “the warehouse?”

“Yes, the warehouse where stored all the gifts you received, Holy Father.” Sister Mary reminded him.

The most impressive gift Lenny had received should be the kangaroo. “Who sent that?”

“The President of the United States, I presumed.”

“That’s funny.” Lenny mocked, “All right, Valente, please check the warehouse, and if there is one, find a room and move it there.”

“Certainly, Holy Father.” 

“Everything seems all set. Holy Father, please try to swim or workout at least 30 minutes every day.” Dr. Lindegard held Lenny’s hand and gave a kiss on the ring to greet goodbye.

Lenny hugged him, “Thank you, Doctor. See you in another week.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, Lenny was trying to start the day with the new routine, he didn’t have much to complain, as long as he got his Cherry Coke Zero. He chose to go swimming. When he was in the water, he was focus on nothing but his breathing, he found that was quite mediating. An hour later, he pulled himself out of the pool, with a clear mind, and that was really relaxing.

 _Well, I might actually enjoy it._ Lenny went back for the change.

There was a meeting waiting for him.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny loved walks at the Gardens, especially on a pleasant day with Gutierrez.

“What truly made our church great? Fear or tolerance?” Lenny asked.

“Why are you asking this, Holy Father?”

“I just had a meeting with a group of parish priests of Italy. They were showed their concerns to me, about the faithful were afraid to set foot inside their parish church and showed their doubt and fear. They are scared and eager for an explanation.”

“I bet that is about your homily, Holy Father.”

“It’s all about my first homily.” Lenny chuckled, “But how small did we become? How greatly did our influence decline, when we decided to yield, to succumb, to withdraw, to become accommodating and reassuring?

“Holy Father, it doesn’t matter how big or small we are, all we need to do is just be here, always. Faithful come to us for seeking reassurance; guidance when they are lost; the forgiveness of their sins. As such, tolerance is necessary.”

They walked through the Gardens, Gutierrez stopped by the fountain where a group of nuns was harvesting the oranges, he continued, “However, fear keeps peoples alert, and beware that nothing is taken for granted.”

“It would be great if more faithful can understand me like you, and I would not be an evil pope. All I want is to make our Church great and strong.” Lenny said when he looked up to the sky. The more he talked to Gutierrez, the more he trusted on him.

He was grateful that God sent Gutierrez to him.

Gutierrez could feel his desolate, “No, Holy Father, don’t say that, you are never an evil. I am sure they will understand, someday. Like this place, these people, placate my sense of disquiet, all my anxieties, both ancient and modern.”

 _May God listen to my prayer._ Lenny thought.

A nun handed two glasses of orange juice to Lenny and Gutierrez, “It's nice and cold, Holy Father.”

“I don't doubt it, Sister.” Lenny took it, with a warm smile, “Would you be so kind as to bring me three oranges, as well?”

“Certainly, Holy Father.” the nun bowed.

Lenny took a sip of the juice; it was really nice and fresh. That made him felt a lot better.

“I do wish that I could have been thunderstruck, as you were, one May afternoon, in the heart of the Church.” Lenny was so admired Gutierrez had got a Calling, “Instead I became a priest for lack of a better alternative. From the orphanage with Sister Mary, I went straight to the seminary under the protection of Monsignor Spencer, then he became Cardinal Spencer.”

They walked side-by-side, up to a covered hallway, Lenny sat down, began to shared something he had never been shared with anyone before, “When I was eighteen, between the end of school and the beginning of seminary, I had a week of vacation. It was the first time I'd ever been out in the world on my own. I went to California, and there I went to the beach.”

Lenny was trying to remember the beach, the smell of the salty air, the breeze, the sand, the sunshine, and the only girlfriend he ever had. “And on that beach, I won over a homely girl, who seemed at the time to be the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“How did you win her over? Please, tell me.” Gutierrez asked, full of curiosity.

A nun stopped by and gave three oranges to Lenny, “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Holy Father.”

“Like this.” Lenny juggled with three oranges, Gutierrez’s eyes with amazement, “We were together for a week. Then, I entered the seminary, and never see her again.” Lenny held firmly with the oranges in his hand, smelled the fragrance deeply, “This is the first time I've told anyone about it.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Pope had warned to depose him, Voiello was like a man on a sinking ship. He didn’t want to lose his position and the cardinalate, how to survive was his top priority. He was trying to win Sister Mary to become his ally, however, she was very protective and loyal to Pius XIII. Therefore, he sent his loyal assistant, Amatucci, to spy on the Pope.

With the information, he was plotting to remove Lenny from the office.

Voiello wanted an act of revenge.

At night, he was sneaking into the room of the Pope’s confidant, waiting.

When the lights on, Gutierrez jumped, “Your Eminence, what…what are you doing in my room?”

“My dear Gutierrez, do you know how I've managed to run the Papal State for all these years?” Voiello was sitting on Gutierrez’s bed.

“With a great overarching vision? I imagine.” Gutierrez was wondered why the Secretary of State visited him at this late hour.

“Precisely the opposite.” Voiello was looking at the stuff toys on the bed, “No vision whatsoever, I just manage to learn all the irrelevant things and people's secrets.”

“For…for what?” Gutierrez was frightening.

“For threatening to reveal those secrets to the Pope.” Voiello pulled out a bottle from the bed and shown Gutierrez, “What about this?”

“One bottle of gin doesn't make an alcoholic of me.” Gutierrez tried to keep calm.

“Agreed, one bottle doesn't.” Voiello bent down and pulled out a case of wine underneath the bed, “But a whole liquor store full does.”

Looking at the case of wine, Gutierrez could not decline it, he did have a drinking problem, “Who told you I'm an alcoholic?”

“I forgot to confide in you another stratagem for running the Church: never reveal your sources.” That was Voiello’s secret of success, “Now, my very dear Bernardo, let's not waste any more time. Do you want me to reveal your serious problem to the Pope? Or sent you away from the Vatican once and for all?”

Gutierrez was scared, outside of these walls, he would be a lost man, “What do you want from me?”

“The Pope is close to you. All I want, it’s you to tell me about the irrelevant things that you and the Pope say to each other.”

“What do you want me to say? We…we don't talk about anything of significance, really!” Gutierrez didn’t realize he was falling into Voiello’s trap, he slipped out, “For instance, he told me with some nostalgia about a girlfriend he had when he was just a kid.”

“You see,” Voiello said with a cunning smile, “things like that, the stupid, silly thing.”

_I knew it! That the Church is female!_

~ ~ ~ ~

When Gutierrez woke up the next morning, a sense of guilt made him felt shame as he was aware that he might unintentionally reveal His Holiness’ secret to Voiello. He knew he made a mistake, and all he hoped was His Holiness didn’t have any dirty history.

He met with the Pope at the Gardens in the afternoon.

“Holy Father I have to ask you a somewhat…unseemly question.” He chose the words very carefully.

“There are no unseemly questions between you and me, Monsignor.” Lenny, with a sincere smile on his face, “Because you and I respect each other.”

Gutierrez felt even more guilty, but he needed to know the answer before Voiello, “What remained with you from your experience with the girl in California?”

Lenny had thought for a while, “The memory of her eyes: at first, eyes full of love, then later eyes full of disappointment.”

Gutierrez found out there was sadness underneath His Holiness’ eyes.

Lenny continued, “That was an important lesson, I understood that I want Catholics in love and I no longer want to see the disappointment in their eyes. Never again.”

Gutierrez felt relieved, there was nothing that happened between His Holiness and that girl. Therefore, Voiello could not use that girl against the Pope.

However, what the Pope said next was even more alarming.

“Still, at the same time, I occasionally find myself unable to believe my own words. I don't believe my thoughts, I don't believe in my will, I don't believe in my abilities. I'm speaking to you from the heart, Monsignor.”

 _No! His Holiness is doubting himself_.

“There are times…there are certain times, or possibly always…” Lenny sighed, he didn’t know how to phrase it, “there are times when I don't believe. And there are times when I think it might be better to leave it all in Voiello's hands.”

Lenny looked at Gutierrez, felt dejected, “He knows how to do things. He believes in what he says, and he still believes in God.”

“No, Holy Father.” Gutierrez encouraged him and said, “No. Voiello is only a politician. You are the Pope!”

“Yes, I am the Pope.” Lenny thought he should leave all the doubts behind.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny held a private Eucharist in the Pope’s private chapel for those taking care of him, throughout the ceremony, Lenny had noticed that Sister Suree was crying. When he put down the chalice, he asked with concerns, “Sister Suree, why were you crying?”

“My sister is dying.” Sister Suree said.

“Where is your sister?” he asked.

“At home, in Sri Lanka.”

“What's wrong with her?” he wanted to know and see what he could do for her.

“She's dying.”

“Have you gone to see her?” _If she wanted, that can be arranged._

“I don't have the courage.”

“Why did you become a nun?”

“I met the Lord.”

“Where?” _Oh Lord, why everyone had a Calling but me?_

“In a bar. I was poor, a drunk German came up to me and said, ‘God helps the poor’.”

Lenny was shocked when he heard what Sister Suree said. _I’m s_ _orry Lord, forgive me._

“Are you strong?” Lenny asked.

“I do my best, but I'm little.” Sister Suree was lack of confidence.

“You must be strong, for your sister.” Lenny tried to encourage her.

“I shall be.”

“And pray, till you can't pray anymore,” Lenny suggested.

“I always do.”

And then Lenny asked, “If your sister were to die, would you go to Sri Lanka for the funeral?”

“No.” Sister Suree answered almost immediately.

“Why not?”

“Because when I go home, I'm overcome with such terrible memories that I end up doubting whether God exists.” Sister Suree showed her worries, “And I don't want to doubt whether God exists.”

_You're not the only one who doubts._

“Well, I understand.” Lenny patted her on the shoulder reassuring.

~ ~ ~ ~

Being defeated was never an enjoyable feeling, especially not one but three times. Voiello was a person who never gives up, to save himself and his beloved Church, there was another piece of useful information from Amatucci.

And that might be the most devastating, that could force Pope Pius XIII to resign.

“Your Eminence, she's here.” Amatucci came in and notified him.

She, was Voiello’s last resort.

“Would Young Esther like an espresso?” Voiello handed her a cup.

Esther shook her head as denied. She had no clue why she was summoned to meet the Cardinal.

“Are you sure? I even arranged to buy some cane sugar.”

Esther shook her head, nervously.

“Let's come to the point, Esther. First of all, you should stay calm and rest assured that we only want what's best for you.” Voiello said in a steady voice, “We are your friends.”

He approached Esther, leaned down, and talked to her by her ear, “I've come upon this report, of which only the people in this room are aware, that, you had an extramarital relationship with Valente, the Pope's assistant.”

Esther was scared, it was only a one-night affair. She was expected that would only stay between Valente and her, _how can he know about it?_

And who would know Valente will become the Pope’s assistant?

Voiello noticed Esther was restless, he knew he could make use of her.

“You understand without being told that this is an awkward matter. All because of the rank of the people involved, those are the fear of gossip. And don’t mention how badly this might disappoint the Pope.”

Esther felt she was a rabbit in a trap, she didn’t know what to do. She was so respected the Pope, and now the guilt was killing her.

“The terrible repercussions that might ensue if news of this matter were to get out. And of course, it's especially embarrassing in moral terms: Catholics united in holy matrimony swear to be faithful to their spouses. You have sinned, Esther!”

That was a condemnation.

Esther started sobbing, she was an unfaithful wife.

“We know and we understand that this was a moment of weakness. It happens. In your sin, we don't detect the marks of unbridled lust, but the fact remains that the act you committed was gravely wrong.”

Esther was distressed, she didn’t want the Pope, or her husband knew her secret. She looked at Voiello, pleading for mercy.

“Now, I'm ready to guarantee that not a word of that disagreeable episode will ever leave this room,” Voiello said, that gave Esther hope. “And what do you guarantee me in return?”

“What you want me to do for my redemption?” Esther asked with despair.

~ ~ ~ ~

Esther was liked a lost child, who was seeking help from God for reassurance. The shame and guilt were killing her from inside, she didn’t know whether she was capable to do what Voiello wanted her to do. Or more precisely, would she have the courage to do that?

She was kneeling in one of the chapels inside the St. Peter’s Basilica, praying, “Why does sin bring sorrow? Why does sin bring starvation? Why does sin bring arrogance? Why does sin bring coercion? Why does sin bring more sin?”

Not only God heard her prayer, but also Pope Pius XIII.

Before Esther notices his present, Lenny left the Basilica by using the Pope’s passage.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was a sunny afternoon; Lenny was rambling through the Gardens by himself, and he saw Esther was skating with a group of children as usual.

For Lenny, there was no doubt that Esther was special. She was not just a normal faithful but the one who was perceived his homily. Also, she was the first faithful he was willing to audience.

She left the group when she saw the Pope walked by.

“Holy Father!” She quickly changed back to her shoes and caught up with Lenny.

Lenny turned around, waited for her.

“Holy Father, can…can…” Esther was trying to catch her breath.

“Take your time, Esther, and I just need a company,” Lenny said as he walked towards the gazebo.

Esther followed him and she was caught off guard when the Pope said, “You remind me of my first and only girlfriend, Esther, only you're much prettier.”

She tilted down her head and looked away, didn’t know what to say.

“No one should never be ashamed nor proud of one's beauty.” Lenny was quite understanding, as he was a beauty too. For quite a long time, he took his beauty as a burden too. “Because God asks us to rejoice in it.”

Lenny looked at her, “Do you rejoice in your beauty?”

She shook her head.

“I'll bet that you don't let your husband do it either.”

She shook her head again, but with a shyly smile on the face.

“I think that's a mistake. Beauty is not a crime, and the punishment of God is never over beauty. Never.”

He had been watching her because he knew something was bothering her, so he asked, “Now, tell me what your problem is.”

Esther was chewing her lips, didn’t know where to start.

“Then I'll do it for you.” Lenny was pacing under the sun, “Esther is a fervent Roman Catholic woman, who is happily married to Peter and childless. She enjoys spending her mornings roller-skating with the children of the other Swiss Guards. But it's not roller skating that Esther loves, she loves what she cannot have.”

Esther looked at the Pope with amazement, as nobody had noticed her _problem_ before. “You ask me what my problem is, but you already know, because you are so profound.”

“I'm not profound, I'm presumptuous.” Lenny said lightly, “What matters is that you talk about your problem.”

“Yes, Holy Father, I'm sterile, and unfortunately, Peter is sterile, too.” She sighed, still remembered the day when the doctor announced to both of them the bad news: They were nearly impossible to have a child. She was devastated, “I'd like to listen to a child's voice.”

It was news that could definitely break a couple. There was only one suggestion that Lenny could give Esther, “Pray to Mary, our Mother of miracles, who intercedes for us.”

“Pray to Mary?” Esther asked.

“Yes. She knows what to do.” Lenny smiled and left Esther behind and walked back to the Palace.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was Thursday, a big day of the Church, and also a busy day for the Pope because he was scheduled to baptize ninety children from all over Europe.

Before that, Lenny went to the private chapel for his prayer.

Sister Suree was waiting until he finished, “Holy Father, my sister is dead.”

“I’m sorry for your lost, Sister Suree.” He was still knelt, “Let us pray for her.”

Sister Suree came up and knelt next to the Pope.

“Father of all, we pray to you for Sister Suree’s sister, and for all those whom we love but see no longer. Grant to them eternal rest. Let light perpetual shine upon them. May her soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.”

“I'd like to go to Sri Lanka for her funeral.” Sister Suree said.

Lenny shook his head, “Don't go chasing the dead, Suree, or else the dead will chase after you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The Service of Baptism was the first public event of Pope Pius XIII. The faithfuls were anticipating meeting the Pope, and as usual, there should be a photo shooting for the family after the child was baptized, with the Pope, of course.

Lenny knew he couldn’t avoid or cancel the Baptism because that was one of his duties. However, he could make some changes, such as cancelling the photo shooting.

That was an argument for the preparation meeting. Voiello and Sofia thought that would be a bad idea as the faithful would be very disappointed. However, Lenny insisted to maintain his “No Photo” policy, and he threatened if there was anyone who took a photo of him, the Baptism would be suspended immediately.

In order for the Baptism to proceed, Voiello had to compromise and agreed to the Pope’s request.

When the parents and families arrived at St. Peter’s Basilica, they found out that there was a sign of “No Photo / No Video Recording” outside the chapel. Although they were all disappointed, no one complains, as it was an honour to have their child baptized by the Pope.

Unwillingly, with Gutierrez as his assistant, Pope Pius XIII finally showed himself in public service. He was in his papal choir dress underneath, white with gold-embroidered mantum with a colour matched mitre. He was not quite enjoyable, pouting sometimes in between, dutifully repeated “He/She takes after you.” and “Ego te baptizo in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.” _(Latin: I baptize thee in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.)_ for ninety times.

Esther was in the chapel too. Watching the other’s having their child got baptized, her eyes were full of longings, and she hoped to feel this joy someday.

Lenny didn’t miss the longings in Esther’s eyes, he was understood but all he could do was gave her a smile for reassurance.

And Esther found that was comforting.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the service, Lenny felt exhausted and stressed. He remembered he didn’t have time to swim this morning. As he had a packed schedule today, he chose to have a workout.

Valente did move a workout machine from the warehouse.

An hour later, without all the tensions and stresses, he dressed in his white simar with the fascia, ready for his next engagement.

When he opened his bathroom door, he found out Sofia was inside.

Sofia, with a lipstick in her hand, jumped when she saw the Pope, “Holy Father, I beg your pardon, I really had no idea I was in the men's bathroom.”

It was an awkward situation, Lenny sighed, “Actually, this is neither the men's bathroom nor the women's. This, is the Pope's bathroom.”

“I'm so sorry.” _They should put up a sign on the door..._ Sofia thought, but she was in the middle of freshening her makeup, embarrassingly, she asked, “Do you mind if I finish applying my lipstick?”

Lenny sighed again while he sat down, “Even if I did mind, a woman like yourself would find a way to go on applying it anyway. So please, go right ahead.”

Sofia smiled happily, “You know women, Holy Father!”

Lenny was looking at her while she was applying the lipstick, “That's a reckless statement, signora.”

When Sofia was done, Lenny said, “Come take a look.”

He guided her through a hallway to the Conference Hall, by the entrance, he asked, “Who is that man? Who has caught the interest of half the Curia?”

Sofia took a look and answered, “The personal assistant to the Prime Minister of Greenland.”

Lenny narrowed his eyes and asked, “Is he gay?”

“Openly so,” Sofia said.

“And that woman is the Prime Minister?”

“That's right, and she has an audience with you, Holy Father.”

“Doesn't that strike you as odd?” Lenny was curious, as the Curia was crowded around the assistant, instead of the Prime Minister.

“What, Your Holiness?”

“After all, wouldn't etiquette requires that we entertain the Prime Minister, not her assistant?” Lenny thought that was inappropriate, according to the code of manners.

Sofia found that Voiello was with the Prime Minister, “The Cardinal Secretary of State is entertaining her.”

“What about the fact that such a sizable group of men have eyes only for a handsome man, and pay no attention to such stunning feminine beauty?”

“Holy Father,” Sofia whispered, “I know exactly how to answer that question.”

“How?” Lenny glanced at her, wanted to know the answer.

“With the silence.” Like most people.

“Why?” He lifted his eyebrow.

“Because you should never stick your nose into other people's business. Especially not in the Vatican.” Sofia’s eyes fixed on the Pope, “The Prime Minister of Greenland is waiting for you.”

There was a meeting waiting for him, Lenny rolled his eyes, pouting. Reluctantly, Lenny presence himself and walked into the Conference Hall.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny was sitting on his chair, with the Prime Minister and her representatives on one side, Voiello, the fellow Cardinals, Sister Mary, and Sofia on the other.

The Prime Minister of Greenland was foolishly staring at the Pope.

Just like the very first time Sofia met him.

Lenny chuckled; “I know. I'm incredibly handsome, but please, let's try to forget about that.”

The Prime Minister felt embarrassed, looked away.

That was the reason why Lenny was so fond of formal relationships and being professionals.

“What have you brought for me?” Lenny asked.

“The best our Country has to offer, Holy Father.” Her assistant presented a halibut, “This is the largest halibut caught in all of Greenland last week.”

Voiello explained, “This is very good poached in a light broth, just like sea bass.”

“And this is a beautiful song by an Italian singer who is pretty popular in our country. She is called Nada and the song is entitled ‘ _Senza un perché_ ’.”

One of the priests received it and Lenny took a look and he appreciated with thank you. Then he got Valente to come forward, with a gift box in hand, “This is from me for you”

The Prime Minister opened it, it was an antique gold cross, “Thank you, Holy Father. It's wonderful.”

She closed the box and continued, “Holy Father, first of all, I bring you the greetings of the Catholic community of Nuuk, in Greenland.”

Lenny cocked his head, “Yes, I know all about Nuuk. It's a small Catholic community that you have, in Greenland. Am I right?”

“Yes, you are. The predominant Faith in Greenland is Evangelical Lutheran.”

“And you have a female bishop, if I'm not wrong.”

“Exactly. Sofia Petersen, an estimable woman.”

“All bishops are estimable,” Lenny emphasized, even he was not agreed to a female bishop.

Then Lenny mentioned Pope Pasquale II had appointed the first bishop to Greenland four full centuries before Christopher Columbus, which made the Catholic Church was the first to arrive in Greenland.

However, not always the case that the first to arrive remained first.

“And nowadays, Catholics are like the Native Americans, who got there first and then they are confined to reservations.” Lenny was felt pity that they became a minority. “Oh, don't worry, Madame Prime Minister. I'm not asking you for anything for our small community in Greenland. I just wanted to remind you that we Catholics were there first. Everyone else is a guest. I don't want you to forget that.”

“I won't, Holy Father.”

“Very good! Now, please satisfy my morbid curiosity: since your country never thaws, I have to wonder, what's under all that ice?” Lenny raised his eyebrows with a quizzical smile.

“The experts believe that Greenland is not an island, but an archipelago of islands. But that's strictly a matter of supposition.”

Lenny disagreed, “As you say: the country never thaws, and no one can see what's under there. I think the experts are wrong.”

“Really, Holy Father?”

“Yes,” Lenny was pretty sure and said, “Under all that ice could be God.”

Everyone smiled.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Baptism, Lenny came across Esther a couple of times when he was having walks at the Gardens, while he was praying to Holy Mary for her.

“Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum, benedicta Tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris Tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.”

Lenny didn’t want any gossips, even Esther did have a special place in his heart.

~ ~ ~ ~

After Sister Suree’s sister passed, Lenny, as the Pope, made a special arrangement by sending the coffin from Sri Lanka to the Vatican. At the heliport, Sister Suree was very emotional when her sister’s coffin had arrived. When they escorted the coffin to the chapel, she was crying all the way.

Esther was following behind the Pope at the end of the line.

“Holy Father, would you…teach me to pray?” Esther asked. Lenny looked at her and knew what she was prayed for. So, he said, “Sure, let’s go over there.”

Lenny leaded Esther to walk up the steps to the grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes. Lenny adjusted his vestment and knelt with his palms together, and Esther followed and knelt next to him.

“Start praying aloud. Let me see how you do it.” Lenny said.

Esther took a moment, and said, “Blessed Virgin Mary, give me the grace of becoming pregnant.”

Lenny frowned as he heard what she said, “Prayer shouldn't be a list of requests, Esther. It should be an occasion for understanding.”

He explained further, “While we pray, we reflect in the most elevated way we can, so that someone can whisper thoughts into our ears. We call that someone God. Or, in the present case, the Madonna of Lourdes.”

“All right.” Esther seemed to understand, “Then let me try again.”

Her eyes looked up at the Madonna of Lourdes and started praying again, full of sincerity.

“Blessed Virgin Mary, God does not punish beauty, as a person who is very dear to You once told me. That phrase opened my eyes. And it made me understand that perhaps, by making a gift of beauty, I might perhaps receive some in return. And what if making a gift of my beauty meant receiving the beauty that I so desire? The beauty of a new life, of a little child?”

Lenny was listening and delighted, he found that Esther was not just beauty on the face, but her soul too. “Yes, now you're praying.”

Esther turned around, faced the Pope, eyes with longings, “What if it was an intolerable burden to me to donate my beauty to the person I promised to love in sickness and in health? What if I wanted to donate my beauty somewhere else?”

From her eyes, Lenny understood what her words meant, which was wrong, inappropriate, and strictly impossible. He tilted down his head, avoiding her eyes, “If you were to give your beauty elsewhere, you would not receive the beauty of a new life, but only sorrow and the unbearable burden of guilt. You know, Esther, Spinoza set us the most daunting challenge of them all. He said: _He that_ _loves God, does not demand that God should love us in return_.”

“I don't understand.” Esther was puzzling.

“I know.” Lenny sighed, “but in time you will.”

“Holy Father, the truth is I know to whom I'd like to donate my beauty. I'd like…”

“Esther,” Lenny stopped her, “Now, Esther, continue to pray in your head. There are certain secrets you must share only with God.”

_I must go. Now. She does not see me as the Pope, but somebody else. If I stayed, I would give her false hope and fantasy._

Lenny stood up, fixing his vestment and made his way back, Sister Suree was waiting for him, as he had a funeral to host.

There was a shadow spying them from afar.

~ ~ ~ ~

When he walked into the chapel, Sister Suree was weeping over her sister’s coffin, Lenny was upset, “Stop crying, Suree!”

However, she just couldn’t help it, cried her eyes out.

“That's enough! Believers don't cry!” he yelled.

Sister Suree looked up to the Pope, trying her best to stop the crying.

“That's not right! It's time we stop crying at funerals.” Lenny was getting furious, staring at Sister Suree, “You don't believe.”

She was still crying, he was shaking his head, “If you do believe in God, you should know she is with Him now. Suree, you don't believe.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny might be busy, but Voiello still on his mind. Lenny would never let him go that easily, with his prodigious memory, and vindictive personality, Voiello’s cardinalship was still on the line.

At the Pope’s Office, Voiello prepared the coffee for the Pope, with a gift in his hand, “Holy Father, I brought you a gift to improve our relationship a little.”

“Thanks.” Lenny received it and found out that it was an electronic cigarette. He covered the box and put it down. “These are supposed to be worse than real cigarettes.”

“I was told that they're good for you.” Voiello tried to persuade the Pope.

“It doesn't matter.” Lenny took the coffee from Voiello’s hand, then took a sip, “It's a substitute for the real thing. What I want, always, is the whole truth.”

“Then you've come to the wrong place.” Voiello said, there were only two things in his mind, “Holy Father, don't call me repetitive, but when is your speech to the cardinals going to take place?

“In due time.” Lenny held the coffee in his hands, exhaled deeply.

“Yes, but when?”

“You really don't understand, do you?” Lenny glanced at Voiello.

“What am I supposed to understand?”

“That I'm creating.” He fixed his eyes at his coffee.

“What are you creating?” Voiello still had no idea what made the Pope held up the speech for so long, it had been two weeks already.

“Anticipation.” Another key to the mysterious. Lenny wouldn’t expect Voiello would understand, as he knew that he, was an incomprehensible person.

Voiello knew that it was impossible to have the answer form the Pope about the Cardinal speech. Anyway, there was another task on the agenda, “Holy Father, shall we look into the Kurtwell case a little?”

“Your Eminence, the answer is yes.” Lenny walked to the showcase of the Venus of Wilendorf, “I want to look into the Kurtwell case, but from a broader point of view. The individual case is always an indicator of a larger issue.”

“I agree. Let's pursue all the cases of pedophilia that are infesting our Church.”

“Let's widen the circle,” Lenny said, and Voiello was pleased that the Pope finally took the case seriously.

Lenny continued, eyes fixed on Voiello, “Let's prosecute all the cases of homosexuality that are infesting our Church. Let's root out all the homosexuals and expel them and prevent any new gay priests from entering our Church. Let's do it for real, without exceptions and without hypocrisy.”

_Do be careful what you wished for, Voiello._

Voiello blinked, _what was the Pope just said?_ “Holy Father, pedophilia and homosexuality are two very different things.”

“Oh…Two very different things that are both _equally_ unacceptable to the Catholic Church.” Lenny said firmly.

“It would be a war that would leave the ground littered with corpses.” If the Pope insisted to do that, that would be a disaster for the Church, “Do you want to know how many corpses would litter the ground?”

“Two-thirds of the Clergy.” Lenny waltzed into a side chamber, and he was facing the crucifix on the wall.

“Then what becomes of Mother Church's capacity for forgiveness?” Voiello was alerted.

“Our abuse of forgiveness we've become a laughingstock. As unreliable as some miserable little third-world country.” That was an understatement, Lenny found the Church was too forgiving.

“With your methods, on the other hand, we're likely to become as reliable as, say, North Korea.”

“No.” Lenny disagreed, he walked back and stay next to Voiello, “And do you wanna know what the difference is? We don't imprison ours, we set them free. We pardon every one of them, but one second later we kick them out the door.”

“All right, Holy Father, as you command.” Voiello knew there was no use to continue on the issue.

“I have a question for you.” Lenny left the side chamber, and Voiello followed behind.

“Holy Father, I have a great many shortcomings, but there can be no doubt about my heterosexuality. Even if I can't bring you any direct testimony on the matter.”

“That wasn't the question.” Lenny smiled to himself, _I just said to kick all the homosexual’s priests out of the Church, and he confessed right the way that he is not one of them…oh, I am waiting to see how many of them will come out in the next couple of days._

“Oh, sorry.” The Pope was so hard to predict, Voiello asked again, “What was the question?”

“Would you tell me about your Calling?” Lenny asked.

“Holy Father, if you expect me to tell you a tale of blinding illuminations or dazzling conversions, you're going to be disappointed. It’s…quite simply, I had a predisposition, a predisposition to become a priest, just like the way others have one to become a painter or a cricket player. What about you, Your Holiness?”

 _A predisposition to become a priest_ … did he have the same too…?

That was the question Lenny was unable to answer. He was always wished he would have one, but seemed their Lord missed to send him one.

And that, was bothering him so much.

Helplessly, Lenny went back to his bed-chamber without a word.

~ ~ ~ ~

For Voiello, the match was not over yet, 0 to 3 didn’t mean losing.

As the game was still going on, there would be chances out there.

He would still win the game. If, he played it well and smart.

His plan was blackmailing Esther and used her as a bait to lure Lenny into a scandal; with evidence in his hand, he could blackmail the Pope and would win back the control of the Church.

However, Esther didn’t play her part.

This afternoon, Voiello was sneaking into Peter and Esther’s apartment by using the master key.

Esther was jumped when she saw Voiello was in her kitchen, with a coffee in his hand.

“Now what do you want?” she asked.

“Everything you were supposed to do but hasn't done yet,” he said in a chilling voice.

“I've tried. But it's impossible.” They were talking about their Holy Father, a man of the greatest virtue and rectitude on the planet, “I've never been much of a seductress myself, and I'm just a good Catholic girl.”

“Good Catholic girls, especially the married ones, don't cheat on their husbands. But I didn't come here to threaten you, nor to remind you of your sins.”

There was no need for Voiello to remind her. She knew that she had cheated on her husband, being unfaithful. However, she wanted to quit; she didn’t want to wind up tangled in a public scandal that would ruin her life. “The Holy Father only cares about my sorrow. Peter and I can't have children.”

Voiello looked at Esther, he didn’t believe that Lenny was strong enough to resist such temptations, as Lenny did have a particular interest in Esther, who she was beautiful and attractive.

And Esther was weak, and that made her more easier to manipulate. Voiello needed, was only gave her a little push.

“That's not the way it is. What I'm about to tell you is strictly confidential: Esther, the Holy Father's faith isn't as solid as we like to think. He's a loose man with dozens of girlfriends. Also, the Holy Father intends to issue new measures that could lead irreversibly to the extinction of the Church. Your job is important: To seduce the Holy Father. Don’t worry, we will take care of everything else.”

Voiello, by twisting the Pope’s idea and used it as an excuse to make Esther continued her task.

“What things?”

“Do you understand what significant stakes we're talking about? Me, you, all of us have the sacrosanct duty to stop him, in God's name.”

“But I could try to talk to him. He respects me.” Esther believed that Lenny was not the man as Voiello said.

Voiello giggled, “Sorry, I was about the laugh. We seriously doubt that Pius XIII even respects God.”

“You don't know him at all. He's an extraordinary person.” Esther defended Lenny; he was the man she knew that was the most devoted to God.

“That's why you are so seductive, Esther.” Such an innocent soul, didn’t know a thing. “Now, go and seduce him.”

“I don't want to sin anymore.”

“If only that were possible, Esther. If only!”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Something odd has been happening in the last few hours.” Tommaso, sat next to the Pope, at the roof of the Basilica.

“Let's hear it,” Lenny said, stared in the night sky in complete perplexity.

It was about the confession, Tommaso noticed today everyone came for a confession, were all related to the same subject. “During confession, for reasons that escape me, people have suddenly started recounting their exploits with women, offering up the most intimate, embarrassing details. Strange, isn't it?”

Lenny's eyes closed, with a thin smile and said, “Someone must be spreading a rumor that the Pope is out to punish the homosexuals.”

“Oh, yes, the famous calumnies of our little State.” Tommaso laughed.

“What if they weren't calumnies?” Lenny said with a cunning smile.

The wheel was turning. And the change, was coming.

After they greeted goodnight to each other, Lenny took a walk at the Gardens, and he was lucky to meet his fellow kangaroo.

He always showed up when Lenny was lonely.

They both looked at each other, and Lenny only had one dying wish: to make him jump.

“Jump,” Lenny said, and the kangaroo just stared at him.

“Jump!” Lenny tried again; the kangaroo turned away.

When Lenny wanted to try the third time, he found that it had already gone.

He was all alone, again.

Lenny always felt lonely. Perhaps since the day he got abandon, the world had left him behind. No matter how closed he was with Sister Mary, Andrew, or Michael. He still felt lonely.

And now, things had started changing.

He was not felt that alone anymore, and he had a home too.

Before he went home, he was wandering around the Gardens, unintentionally, passed by Peter and Esther’s house, and, on pretty wrong time.

Esther and Peter were having sex, against with window.

It was embarrassing, a typical wrong place at the wrong time.

Or might not.

Lenny looked up to the starry sky, then he bent on his knees with arms opened, he started to pray, “Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Peter's successor has a specific grace to ask of You. Now, right now, those two young people in their home, Peter and Esther, have only one wish. You must grant it to them. You must!”

He knew what Esther wished for, but he would never be the one. All he could do was prayed, prayed for a miracle.

He just mumbled ‘ _You must_ ’, with all his strength, again and again.

There was a moment, an image, flashed through his mind: he is in his mantum and mitre, blessing Esther by placing his gloved hand on her shoulder.

“You must, please. You must!” Lenny cried, still staring at the starry sky, hoping Holy Mary would grant his wish, “Amen.”

Lenny stood up, with tears on his face, when he turned, his eyes met Esther’s.

_Wong time._

Lenny bit his lips and pretended nothing had happened, made his way back to home.


	6. V. This Pope Does Not Negotiate, and Does Not Compromise

When Lenny back to his chamber, his heart was pumping, his mind was roaring, like an engine running a hundred miles per hour. He couldn’t focus, there was something he couldn’t comprehend …things that happened in the last couple days. He was under confusion.

Therefore, he put himself under the shower, closing his eyes and let the water ran through his body, trying to focus his mind.

The Bible verses were flashing in and out thought his mind.

_The Temptation of Jesus [Matt. 4:1-11]: “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.”_

He was shocked.

It was a test. Three, in total; and he had been through two already.

It was a temptation.

Lenny opened his eyes; his mind was clear than ever, and then he chuckled.

_I think I might just get mine…What I experienced now maybe counted as one…_

_How could I think I don’t have a Calling?_

A Calling maybe a voice, maybe an image, maybe a vision, maybe a feeling, maybe a predisposition…

It can be in any way, any form.

_Silly me._

Yes, it seemed that was Voiello’s plot, but it could be a challenge from God too.

He knew what’s coming next. What’s waiting out there for him.

The final temptation.

What was it could be?

No matter what, all he should do was like what Jesus do: facing the temptation then cast the Devil away.

He prayed and thanked God before he went to bed.

~ ~ ~ ~

As the head of the Church, Lenny should visit the cloistered nuns at the convent earlier, but he didn’t get time to do it. As he was freed from his engagement this afternoon, he went to the convent with Gutierrez.

Unfortunately, they were taking their afternoon nap.

Footsteps echoed through the hallway. Lenny stopped and told Gutierrez, “I've made an important decision.”

“What is that, Holy Father?”

“You will go to New York to investigate the Kurtwell case.” Lenny had considered this for sometimes.

“Why do you want to punish me, Holy Father?” Gutierrez didn’t find that was an honour.

“This is no punishment; this is a promotion,” Lenny assured Gutierrez. “I trust you.”

“Holy Father, spare me.” Gutierrez pleaded, he didn’t find himself could manage the task, “I'm a modest, limited man, believe me. The Kurtwell case is something far too big for me, beyond my scope.”

“Quit selling yourself short.” Lenny held his hands together, looked at Gutierrez, “You're going to New York. You'll investigate. You'll gather the necessary evidence, and you'll put Kurtwell into my hands.”

That was official, Gutierrez was receiving a direct order from the Pope.

Lenny did care about children, “My Papacy won't let the harm done to even a single child slip away into indifference. And you will help me because I trust you. Blindly!”

“Holy Father, I am a recluse. I only know how to live inside these walls.” For the truth to be told, Gutierrez was scared and insecure, “In all these years, I've left here only twice, both times to go to the hospital. I don't know how to cross the street, I don't know how to get a hotel room, I don't know how to order a meal in a restaurant. I'm like those canaries in cages. If you free them, they die.”

“You're afraid.” Lenny understood, shouldered a huge responsibility was always scary. Actually, he had one too, without a notification. “I was afraid too before I accepted my destiny as head of the Church.”

“How do you overcome fear, Holy Father?” Gutierrez did need a piece of advice.

“By giving in to the complex and unfathomable architecture that God has designed for us.” That took Lenny long enough to learn to trust in God and believed he was always in His good hands.

Gutierrez looked at the Pope, who gave him a smile with understanding, “Gutierrez, I believe in you, so don’t be so terrified. And you wouldn’t be off to New York tomorrow. There are works still needed to be done beforehand, I will not send you to fight a monster with bare hands.”

That comforted Gutierrez a lot, at least he wouldn’t be set off on the next day, it did give him time to sink in the idea, “Holy Father, sometimes, you can be very convincing.”

Lenny smirked, “Well, I guess their nap time is over. Shall we?”

When Gutierrez turned around, he saw a shadow in the light, and there was a voice said, “Be calm, Bernardo. Be calm. The boy has become a man. But I will continue to protect the boy. Where do May afternoons land? The boy has become a man. I land here. Yes. That's true. But I will continue to protect the boy.”

Gutierrez was blessed by the Holy Mary.

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Lenny was having trouble sleeping, so he listened to the music record of Nada, the gift from the Prime Minister of Greenland, and was thinking of the time he spent with the nuns in the afternoon. They were not just shared their life in the convent with the Pope, but also their sadness – they missed their family too.

_Yes, we all sacrificed ourselves to serve God._

Lenny was holding his precious pipe, lost in thought.

After all these years, he still misses his parents, so badly. However, all they left him, were only a piece of the smoking pipe, pieces of memory on their last road trip, the pain of being abandoned, and the sadness of being an orphan.

But he didn’t remember how they looked like, as he didn’t have a picture of them, their faces were starting fading away from his memory…he was worried, one day he would no longer remember them, and he would never meet them again. There was only one thing left, the pain.

Finally, he fell asleep, with tears in his eyes.

~ ~ ~ ~

He had a dream… He was in Venice. St. Mark’s Square was empty, cold, and dark. He was so confused, he didn’t know what to do, or where to go.

He was just running around, looking and searching…searching for the one he was longing the most.

And then he saw them.

There was a couple, a hippie couple. _‘Please! Don’t go!’_ he was chasing after them.

But they ran, trying to escape from him.

All he could do was kept running, trying to catch up with the phantoms.

At last, they hopped on the ferry.

But him, just missed it.

He got left behind, again.

He stared at them, panting. His parents, didn’t say a word, and their eyes were stone-cold no care, and no love.

He was trapped, he got nowhere to escape.

There was nothing he can do. He just let them leave before him and disappeared.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny had a tough morning, because the dream was so disturbing.

He went to the pool, swimming. Swimming until he was drained, and his emotions and stresses were all out of his body.

He asked Sister Mary to empty his schedule of the day because he didn’t have the energy or the mood to meet anyone.

He needed a time out.

Sister Mary sensed that there was something wrong with Lenny.

“Your Holiness, are you okay? Something is bothering you.”

“No,” Lenny said in a hoarse voice, he just didn’t want to talk about it.

“Don’t lie to me, Lenny.” Sister Mary said softy, placed her hand on his face, “Tell me, what’s wrong?”

Sister Mary’s warm hand did comfort him. Lenny couldn’t help it, tears started rolling, he cried soundlessly, “I... I had a dream last night, I…I dreamt about…”

“Your parents.” Now, Sister Mary understood.

“They ran, and I ran after them, I was unable to catch them, they were just…just gone…”

“Lenny, don’t let your parents hurt you anymore, they don’t worth it.” Sister Mary hugged him close, to show him that he was loved, and she would be with him. “You have me.”

Lenny holding her tight and crying out loud.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Where is He now?” Tommaso asked the Pope.

Lenny, after having a quiet day, he was at the roof, under the God’s House. He stared at the starry sky, seeking reassurance.

“He's angry. But not with you, or for that matter with me. His anger keeps Him from viewing matters objectively. And so, in protest, he's moved to a new place, he's gone to the outskirts of town, a filthy studio apartment upstairs from a tire repair shop.”

“At night, God suffers from the heat. He can't seem to sleep, because He's come to the conclusion that there's nothing He can do about human beings. He's decided that He's lost the _U_.”

He lowered his head and shoved Tommaso with his shoulder, “Now it's up to you.”

With hesitation, Tommaso started, “The attentions that Your Holiness has been paying to the wife of the commandant of the Swiss Guard have not gone unnoticed. According to vox populi ( _i.e. most people_ ), it is believed that the Holy Father is conducting an unseemly relationship with that woman.”

“Monsignor Gutierrez was right: in the Vatican, gossip is called calumny.” Lenny knew this day was coming.

“Your Holiness, what do you intend to do?”

“Revolution, Tommaso.” That was the moment Lenny was waiting for, he said, “I intend to start a revolution.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny had a lot of work today, as he took a day off the day before. After all those exhausting meetings, he finally freed and enjoyed a quiet moment at the Gardens. When he was reading the Bible, he heard steps approaching.

He tilted his head, that was Esther. She sat next to him, looking at him with admiration, “People say you're a saint. People say you're a saint who performs miracles.”

_I am never a saint._

His eyes wild-opened when he noticed Esther unbuttoned her blouse, she reached out her hand to take his, and placing on her bare tummy.

_Oh Lord, this is it._

There was a surprise in his eyes, but he didn’t move or say anything. He was waiting for what Esther was going to say and going to do.

Then she closed her eyes and started to pray, “Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

After she finished the prayer, she unbuttoned the last couple of ones, then moved her hand with Lenny’s, up to her breast. “Now, Holy Father, I no longer really know what miracle to wish for.”

Lenny felt nothing, he didn’t have any feelings or impulse, he was just sitting there, his clear eyes were still fixing on Esther.

At the same time, Lenny heard a camera shutter snapping.

 _How disappointing. Voiello._ Lenny sighed internally. He retreated his hand and holding her hands, placed on the stone bench. He looked at her and said, “Esther, I love God because it is so painful to love human beings. I love a God that never leaves or that always leaves me.”

Lenny looked away, “God, the absence of God, always reassuring and definitive. I am a priest, I have renounced my fellow man, my fellow women, because I don’t want to suffer, because I’m incapable of withstanding the heartbreak of love, because I'm unhappy, like all priests.”

There was no room for him to love someone with affection and commitment other than God. Also, he felt pity that Esther was falling into the trap which was set up by Voiello.

“It would be wonderful to love you the way you want to be loved, but it’s not possible. Because I am not a man. I am a coward. Like all priests.” Lenny sighed, his head leaning on the wall.

 _Oh Lord, I got over the temptation. My Lord, I praise you._ With the eyes closed, Lenny prayed, and he only felt peace, and he seemed to understand his destiny, from the most surreal to the reality.

Around the corner of the Gardens, behind the bushed, Voiello, Amatucci, and the photographer were spying on the two of them. Voiello’s plan, was trying to create some compromising photos that he could use to blackmail the Pope, so that he could win back to control of the Church. However, when he was over-heard what the Pope just said to Esther, he felt ashamed. “That’s enough photos for now.”

He knew, he couldn’t use those photos against the Pope.

0 to 4, Voiello knew he lost again.

~ ~ ~ ~

Finally, at night, Lenny got time to visit his brotherhood friend, Andrew Dussolier. Lenny was at Andrew’s dormitory in his white tracksuits. 

Without any etiquette to the Pope, they just hugged each other liked an old good friend.

“You couldn’t get to sleep!” Andrew said.

“The evening doesn’t console me.” Lenny said, he was happy as he was no needed to be the Pope for a moment, “Nothing’s changed, as you can see.”

Lenny was still Lenny, even they hadn’t seen each other for a long time. Andrew chuckled, “Well, something’s changed. You were just a jerk, now you've become the Pope.”

Lenny laughed, “Let’s smoke a cigarette together, secretly.”

"Like when we were kids." They said together.

They were sat and facing each other, Andrew said, "I'm glad that you find a moment to say hello to me."

"How could you doubt that I'd come?" Lenny mocked.

“I always doubt.” There was one question in Andrew’s mind, “When are you gonna make this blessed speech to the cardinals?"

He was very homesick, he wanted to go back to Honduras.

"When I have something to say." It was only a covered story; Lenny was waiting for _that_ to arrive. Until then, all cardinals needed to wait.

Andrew searched his pockets, "Well, I'm all out of cigarettes."

Lenny gave Andrew a mischievous smile.

Therefore, those two did what teenagers did...sneaking out of the house and had some fun.

However, they were not kids anymore, especially one of them was happened to be the Pope. Having fun, was always have a consequence.

Shortly after Lenny and Andrew left the Vatican, His Holiness’ majordomo, Domen, noticed that the Pope was not at home. He went to Sister Mary’s apartment for help.

“Somethings wrong, Domen?” Sister Mary asked when she got the door.

“The Holy Father isn't in the Apostolic Palace, nor is the Cardinal Secretary of State,” Domen said in a frustrated voice.

“What time is it?” Sister Mary was still sleepy.

“Three in the morning.”

 _Lenny, you better have a good reason for sneaking out at this hour._ “I'll take care of it. You go to sleep, and don't say a word to anyone.”

Sister Mary did not know the Pope’s whereabouts, however, she did know where was Voiello.

Sister Mary headed to the city and rang the doorbell, and there was Voiello got the door in a second.

“Will you let me in?”

Voiello was surprised that Sister Mary was at the door, she got _worried_ written on her face, “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Voiello showed Sister Mary in, and they sat down next to each other in the living room. And she found that they had a company there as well.

“You are very beautiful at night, Sister Mary.” In Voiello’s eyes, it was full of admiration, “Please let me introduce you to my best friend, Girolamo.”

Girolamo was the boy who Voiello was taking care of. He was with a severe illness, even he couldn’t speak properly, he was still a very responsive, active, and adorable child, only who needed to stay in a wheelchair.

“Is he a good friend?”

“Yes, the only one who never criticizes me.”

Voiello found that Sister Mary was rubbing Girolamo’s shoulder, and he smiled happily. Voiello said, “He likes you. And what brings you to come here, Sister Mary?”

“Because of the Pope.” _Of course, it’s about the Pope, what does he expect?_

“How disappointing! I thought you came because of me.”

“Nobody knows where the Pope is.” Sister Mary tried to ignore or define what that question meant. She couldn’t forget that Lenny did have a runaway record when he was a boy.

On the contrary, Voiello didn’t worry at all, “Oh, don't worry. We had to go to retrieve Pius XIII's predecessor from a bingo parlor. He was arguing with the caller, saying he was cheating.”

Unfortunately, Lenny was not the same case. Sister Mary knew him well, there was only one reason for him to run out of his responsibility.

“Sooner or later, all popes need to remind themselves what freedom is. Then they come back.” Voiello didn’t worry at all.

“When you want, you know how to be quite comforting.” Sister Mary said.

“How beautiful you are, Sister Mary, at night.”

“You already told me that.” Sister Mary reminded Voiello.

Voiello just looked at Sister Mary, then he said, “We love God because it is so painful to love other men and women. You and I have renounced our fellow men, and women because we don't want to suffer, because we're incapable of withstanding the heartbreak of love. Because we're unhappy. Because we're cowards, like all priests and all nuns.”

“Your words are beautiful.” Sister Mary was still patting Girolamo. “But that's not all, they're true.”

“They are not my words,” he shook his head, “they're the words of your Pope.”

In the meantime, Girolamo gurgled, like reminding Voiello that was something important, “Yes, yes, Girolamo, now I'll tell Sister Mary.”

“What are you going to tell me?” Sister Mary gazed at Voiello.

“That I had found a way of destroying the Holy Father,” Voiello said nervously.

Sister Mary always knew that Voiello didn’t work along with Lenny and wanted him out of the office. But destroy him?

“I'd collected all the evidence for a good old-fashioned scandal. But I'm not going to do it.” Voiello was holding a USB, handed to Sister Mary, “The evidence is in here, you take it. Your hands are safer than mine.”

Sister Mary collected it, not sure what should say.

“And, you know something, Sister Mary? You were right, your Pope really is a saint.”

“Yes!” Sister Mary never doubted it, “He is!”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny and Andrew, both walked down to the city in their tracksuits. They went to a hotel just liked the tourists and asked whether they could sell them some cigarettes or not.

“I don't know if we have any.” said the duty manager, “Make yourselves comfortable. I'll go check.”

“Thank you.”

Lenny and Andrew wanted to wait at the lobby, and there was a young woman walked by, she dressed in a short black dress with high heels, definitely a sexy beauty, and highly possible a prostitute.

She caught their eyes.

Andrew followed her into the lounge, but Lenny was trying to stop him. As he found that was inappropriate.

Andrew didn’t care, dragged Lenny along with him.

“Please, take a seat,” said the woman.

They both sat down, and she studied them both, “English?”

Lenny chuckled, tried to stay the conversation as simple as possible, “Americans.”

“You look like a couple of priests.” She narrowed her eyes and said.

Lenny surprised that her guess was right, but he shook his head and denied it, “We are not priests. Have you ever seen two priests wearing tracksuits?”

She doubted it, “I've seen everything. By the way, did you know I have clients who insist I am proof of the existence of God?”

 _Proof of the existence of God? It takes our whole life to study in Theology, still don’t have the answer._ Lenny doubted it, and mocked, “Interesting theory!”

“But they are wrong.” She said, looking at Lenny, liked she could see through his mind, “They see me because they can't see far.”

Lenny wondered, _‘I see everything.’ Sister Mary told me once._ So he asked, “Can you see far?”

“Yes, and I have proof of the existence of God.” She said firmly.

“Show me.” Lenny leaned forwards, eagerly asked, “Ma’am, show me, I implore you.”

Off guarded, she took out her phone and took a picture. That was the first time Lenny willingly to let someone take a picture of him.

She enlarged the image and studied for a while.

She stared at the picture and said in a very happy voice, “Your eyes! Your eyes, sir. They are proof of the existence of God.”

_My eyes?_

_Why did she say almost the same thing as Sister Mary?_

_‘I see Christ’s reflection in you.’_

_Who I really am??_

“We should go.” Lenny was shocking, he gave Andrew a look, “Goodnight, ma’am.”

They left the hotel and totally forgot about the cigarettes.

~ ~ ~ ~

Finally, Lenny and Andrew went to a food truck and having their night snack.

“Do you remember the time Sister Mary took us to the custodian's house? Billy's mother, on her deathbed?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Lenny took a bit of the sandwich, “I don't wanna talk about it.”

“It's pointless for you to go on pretending nothing happened, Lenny.” Andrew was one of the witnesses, he couldn’t forget it, “That day, something extraordinary happened in that room.”

“I don't feel like talking about it.” Lenny was avoiding it.

“You're my best friend and I don't understand you. I don’t get it, why don't you wanna talk about it?” Andrew did believe on that day, Lenny was literally performed a miracle.

“I only want to talk about the things that I understand. Don't you get that?” For Lenny, he didn’t find what happened that day was significant, it was just a coincidence.

“So, what if I asked you to become Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy? Select the candidates for the priesthood from all over the world.” Since Michael was no longer in the picture, Lenny really needed his best friend’s support, “Would you do it?”

“And what if I were to refuse?” If Andrew could have a choice, he rather not.

Lenny sighed, he really didn’t want to say this, “Then I'd be forced to make recourse to my sovereign power.”

He didn’t want to give his best friend with _a no-choice_ option, “You know, I am the Pope now. Please don’t make me, to force you into the position.”

“Can I have some time, to think about it?”

“Of course,” Lenny smiled to Andrew, “only don’t make me wait too long.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny seemed didn’t want to home yet. They stopped by the Bridge of Angels on their way back, they both leaned on the bridge.

“I wanna tell you something.” Andrew said, “It's something I've never told you before.”

Lenny shrugged his shoulder, “So tell me now.”

“When you first came to the orphanage,” Lenny blinked when Andrew mentioned about their childhood, that drew his attention.

Andrew continued, “I was watching from a window, and I don't remember your father, but I remember your mother.”

“What did she look like?” Lenny didn’t know Andrew was there too.

“Her hair was parted in the middle and long on the sides,” Andrew was recalling the first day of Lenny’s arrival, “and her eyes were bright and impassive, which made me think she was sad.”

“That's exactly how I dream of her.” The sadness in Lenny’s voice was very noticeable, “Always.”

But Lenny was also upset for Andrew never tell him before, “Why didn't you ever tell me?”

“When we were boys, I thought…I thought it would cause you too much pain.” Andrew thought that was for Lenny’s good.

“It causes me too much pain even now,” Lenny said, some pain was not easy to get over, all because of the scar was too deep.

“We better go back, I guess Sister Mary is waiting,” Andrew said.

In the grey half-light of dawn on the way back, Andrew asked Lenny, “Do you still remembered the day we ran away from the orphanage?”

“How can I have forgotten? I wanna find my mom and dad.”

“What would you do if you found them? Do you have anything to say to them?”

Lenny exhaled deeply. _What would I say? Asking them why they abandoned me? Can they have me back?_

After all, it was forty years already. Suddenly, Lenny felt so lost, he didn’t know, he never thought about that, at all. All he wanted to be was found them or seeing them again. He really had no idea what he should do if his parents show up, as he expected a happy-ever-after ending?

“Lenny, as you said, you are the Pope now, if you wanted to look for someone, you no need to do it all by yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean? You shouldn’t hide. Go out and show yourself, having interviews, telling your story…God helps those who help themselves. You call for help, the help will come.” Andrew advised.

When they walked back to the Vatican, passed through the gate and the Swiss Guards gave them a salute, they found Sister Mary was waiting for them.

It just liked the day when Lenny ran away then came back to the orphanage.

_She is always here for me._

She was relieved when they were back. She didn’t angry at all, she just said, “I haven't said anything to the Cardinal Secretary of State.”

“Thank you so much, Sister Mary.” Lenny smiled and they walk back to the Apostolic Palace.

~ ~ ~ ~

Later that night, Lenny was having dinner with Sister Mary. He was thinking about the woman he met at that hotel, then he said, “Sister Mary, someone told me that my eyes are the proof of the existence of God.”

“That’s true. Who told you this?” Sister Mary was so curious.

“Doesn’t matter, and you always talk to me about my holiness, the miracle I've supposedly performed, but you never tell me anything about the only miracle I need, the miracle that doesn't happen and never will: seeing my parents again.”

“You must have faith in God, Your Holiness.”

Lenny had waited for forty years already, he was losing hope, “I'm getting old, so as my parents. Time is turning into a thin sheet, seeing them dead is of no interest to me. I'm only interested in the living.”

“Then you should keep your faith, when the time has come, you'll see them again.”

Lenny sighed.

Sister Mary put a USB on the table. “This is for you, Your Holiness.”

Lenny picked it up, “What is it?”

“I haven’t viewed them, but they are evidence that can put you into a scandal.”

“Photos?”

“I think so.”

_So, those are the photos of Esther and me, mainly taken on yesterday. Voiello, you are really running out of tricks._

“From Voiello?” Lenny asked.

“How could you know?”

“That’s obvious, he is the only one who wanted to destroy me.” Lenny put the USB in his pocket, “Thank you, Sister Mary.”

~ ~ ~ ~

On the next morning, Lenny met Gutierrez at the Pieta.

Lenny looked at the Holy Mary, his eyes full of empathy. “Monsignor, I forgive you for having betrayed our confidences to the Cardinal Secretary of State.”

Gutierrez was stunned, “Your Holiness, how did you find out?”

Lenny didn’t tell Gutierrez how he found out, instead, he reassured Gutierrez, “I forgive you for being an alcoholic and I recommend you stop drinking now, that you're about to set off on a challenging mission to America.”

“Your Holiness, what else do you know about me?” Gutierrez wondered; His Holiness was so profound.

Lenny said casually, “I know everything a powerful man needs to know about the people he works with. And I, not Voiello, am the most powerful man of all.”

“And what else do you know about me, Holy Father?”

“What else is there to know?” Lenny looked at Gutierrez and smiled at him, his footstep was echoing over the Basilica.

He was heading to the heliport, where he was expecting the arrival of the papal tiara.

Voiello was next to him, with his most humble attitude, “Holy Father, I beg you to reconsider your decision to send to America Monsignor Gutierrez. The Kurtwell case needs to be examined by a person of a substantial reputation. Gutierrez is not up to it.”

Lenny was just staring at him, without saying a word.

“He has none of the necessary expertise, and moreover he's fragile and emotional, and the Holy See will send the world the message that it does not take seriously the problem of child abuse or, even worse, is not interested in it.”

 _The overture is over. Next, he is going to reveal the secret of Gutierrez._ That bored Lenny.

“And there is another problem.” Voiello stopped, and looked at the Pope with all his sincerity, “I didn't want to tell you, but now I'm forced to: Your Holiness, Gutierrez is an alcoholic.”

Lenny gazed at Voiello, with no surprise in his eyes, “I know.”

That was a surprise to Voiello, tried to keep calm, he gulped and said, “And there is also another secret.”

“What if I knew that one as well?” Lenny lowered his voice, and every single word was penetrated to Voiello’s mind, “What if I knew all your secrets, too, Your Eminence?”

For now, Lenny was with no interest in Voiello. All of his interested, was on the helicopter. When it unloaded the wooden case with Papal armorial on it, Lenny was pleased that the Tiara was finally home.

Now then, back to the business.

Lenny had gone through the files on the USB last night. Those were the pictures of Esther and him, or so-call compromising photos, which journalists would be happy with it. As they would create a juicy story to frame the young pope.

“Let’s have a walk.” Lenny walked down to the Gardens and Voiello followed.

“What were you hoping to achieve?” Lenny was questing Voiello’s intention, “Start a scandal? The idea of threatening that poor girl, who suffers from sterility! Will you stop at nothing, Your Eminence?”

Voiello, who felt ashamed and his hand covered his face. He was walking with his head down. And Lenny, who was carefully walked up to the ledge, “Don't you know the meaning of the word pity? How far were you willing to go? Would you have blackmailed the Holy Father? Would you have gone so far as to give those pictures to the press, to insinuate a nonexistent sexual relationship between me and that young woman?”

Lenny stopped, now he was on the top of the ledge, looked down at Voiello from a higher position, “You haven't figured out that your old methods only work on the old popes, who were afraid of losing consensus. They don't work with me. I am the young pope. I put no stock in consensus.”

“Who told…” Voiello was shocked when he found out Lenny was towered over him. “Who told you all these things?”

He looked up with terrified, he was overpowered by Pope Pius XIII.

“You put on airs as a politician, you still haven't figured out you've run up against a politician far cannier than you,” Lenny smirked, “Me! And there is one mistake on your master plan: I am happened to be an American. Do you know what that means? Americans, are born to be a politician; I was not only training to become a priest, but also a politician since the first day I joined the seminary.”

“Holy Father, I've already destroyed those pictures,” Voiello confessed.

“You better be,” Lenny ordered.

“It's true! No backups at all! I was thinking of using old, violent methods, but I repented in time, Holy Father. I repented before I could sin.” Voiello put his hands on the Pope’s red slippers, pleading for his mercy, “The wonderful words that you said to that young woman illuminated me. I implore you, forgive me. I need your forgiveness.”

“You don't need my forgiveness; you need my compassion.” Lenny looked at Voiello, then kicked him off, “Now stop making a spectacle of yourself and get off.”

0 to 5, the match was over.

Lenny was the ultimate winner.

A priest came over to report to Lenny, “Holy Father, the papal tiara has arrived from Washington, it's in perfect condition.”

Lenny was so relieved, he eyed on the blue sky and told Voiello, “Prepare the Sistine Chapel. The time has come to address the cardinals.”

~ ~ ~ ~

By the time Voiello was preparing the Sistine Chapel, Lenny was getting himself ready for his address too.

This would be his first official address to the College of Cardinals. Not like his first homily, this time he needed to be in perfect. He dressed himself in the papal regalia, he chose the red embroidered mantum, with the white shirt, trousers, the white cassock, lace-trimmed rochet and red embroidered stole underneath, followed by the red groves, the red with gold-embroidered slippers, and the rings.

The most important highlight of the papal vestment was the papal tiara. When the wooden case brought over to his dressing room, it was like a Christmas for him.

Over a thousand years, the papal tiara was an unmistakable symbol of the unique claims of the papacy.

It would be a statement: to tell all the Cardinals that Pope Pius XIII, was not just the Head of the Church, but also the Sovereign of the Papal State.

When the College of Cardinals were inside the Sistine Chapel, Pope Pius XIII with the papal tiara on his head was waiting for his sedia gestatoria, his throne.

Lenny was on the sedia, with twelve footmen, who were dressed in red and purple uniforms, carried the throne on their shoulders.

Pope Pius XIII made his entrance to the Sistine Chapel.

All cardinals disbelieved when they saw the sedia. It was the first time, since 1963, the Pope who wore the papal tiara and carried into the Sistine Chapel.

They all stood up to receive their Pope.

With two flabella behind, Lenny was standing on the sedia, looking up at the Last Judgment on the ceiling, praying when he was carefully carried down the nave. Finally, it settled at the altar.

Sistine Chapel was full of silence.

The tension was building.

“Knock knock! Knock knock!” Lenny’s voice was deep and clear, echoing within the Sistine Chapel.

“We're not in.” the Pope announced. “Brother cardinals, from this day forward, we're not in, no matter who's knocking on our door. We're in, but only for God.

“From this day forward, everything that was wide open is gonna be closed. Evangelization. We've already done it. Ecumenicalism. Been there, done that.

“Tolerance, doesn't live here anymore. It's been evicted. It vacated the house for the new tenant, who has diametrically opposite tastes in decorating. We've been reaching out to others for years now. It's time to stop!”

Like the air and time was frozen. Only left, was the breathings of the Pope, and his voice.

“We are not going anywhere. We are here. Because, what are we? We are cement, and cement doesn't move. We are cement without windows. So, we don't look to the outside world.

“ _‘Only the Church possesses the charisma of truth’_ , said St. Ignatius of Antioch, and he was right. We have no reason to look out. Instead, look over there.”

There was a small golden door at the Chapel’s entrance. Everyone looked at it.

“What do you see? That's the door. The only way in small and extremely uncomfortable. And anyone who wants to know us has to find out how to get through that door.

“Brother cardinals, we need to go back to being prohibited, inaccessible, and mysterious. That's the only way, we can once again become desirable. That is the only way great loves stories are born.

“And I don't want any more part-time believers! I want great love stories! I want fanatics for God, because fanaticism is love. Everything else is strictly a surrogate, and it stays outside the church. With the attitudes of the last Papacy, the church won for itself great expressions of fondness from the masses. It became popular.”

“Isn't that wonderful?” Lenny asked, and criticizing the last Papacy, “You might be thinking! We received plenty of esteem and lots of friendship. I have no idea what to do with the friendship of the whole wide world. What I want is absolute love and total devotion to God.”

Then he continued, “Could that mean a Church only for the few? That's a hypothesis, and a hypothesis isn't the same as reality. But even this hypothesis isn't so scandalous. I say: better to have a few that are reliable than to have a great many that are distractible and indifferent.

“The public squares have been jam-packed, but the hearts have been emptied of God. You can't measure love with numbers, you can only measure it in terms of intensity. In terms of blind loyalty to the imperative. Fix that word firmly in your souls: _Imperative_.”

Lenny took a deep breath, amplified his voice, “From this day forth, that's what the Pope wants, that's what the Church wants, that's what God wants. And so, the liturgy will no longer be a social engagement, it will become hard work. And sin will no longer be forgiven at will.”

This Church, was Lenny’s castle. And now, he was pulling up the drawbridge and locked up the castle. Everyone, inside or outside, should follow his will, and his rules: Stay away, if your heart doesn’t have God. Don’t come in, if your heart doesn’t have God. Leave at once, if your heart doesn’t have God. Do come in, if you are devoted to God.

“I don't expect any applause from you. There will be no expressions of thanks in this chapel: None from me, and none from you.

“Courtesy and good manners are not the business of men of God. What I do expect is that you will do what I have told you to do. There is nothing outside your obedience to Pius XIII, nothing except Hell.

“A Hell you may know nothing about, but I do. Because I've built it,” Lenny pointed that golden door, “right behind that door: Hell.”

“These past few days, I've had to build Hell for you, that's why I've come to you belatedly. I know you will obey because you've already figured out that this pope isn't afraid to lose the faithful if they're been even slightly unfaithful, and that means this Pope does not negotiate, on anything or with anyone.

“And this Pope cannot be blackmailed! From this day forth, the word ‘compromise’, has been banished from the vocabulary. I've just deleted it. When Jesus willingly mounted the cross, he was not making compromises, and neither am I. Amen.”

There was dead silence inside the Sistine Chapel. This speech was an enhanced version of Pope Pius XIII’s first homily. It made all cardinals, scared and petrified.

Pope Pius XIII, ran his eye over the College of Cardinals, then two altar servers holding the hem of the mantum, the Pope coolly poked his slipper out from his vestment, and waited.

“Crack!” a chair moved, which broke the silence.

Everyone followed the sound, and found out it was Cardinal Spencer, who left his seat, hat off, carefully placed it on his chair, and then walked up to the throne.

Lenny was relieved. He saw his mentor knelt in front of him, and delicately kissed his slipper.

Cardinal Spencer showed his loyalty to Pope Pius XIII.

The next one, was Andrew.

After that, was Voiello. He was full of hesitations, however, as the Secretary of State, it was essential for him to swear his loyalty to the Pope.

At last, Voiello knelt before the Pope and hovered over the slipper, who still had reluctant to do it, Pope Pius XIII gave him a help, by using his other foot, shoved his face down.

Voiello kissed His Holiness’ slipper.

One by one, all the cardinals were in the line.

Pope Pius XIII, the young and invincible pope, won his battle beautifully.

~ ~ ~ ~

What a peaceful afternoon.

Lenny and Esther were once again at the Gardens, and Lenny’s fellow kangaroo as well.

“Jump.” Lenny, who was sitting on the stone bench by himself, told the kangaroo.

Unexpectedly, it jumped for him.

Lenny was so joyful with a big smile on his face.

Esther, who was sitting on the grass where was covered with a blanket. She just looked at the Pope’s back, she plucked up her courage, planning to tell him the truth, “Holy Father, I have to confess a horrible thing I did.”

Lenny eyed at the front, raised his hand and stopped her from continuing, “Confess your secrets to God alone, Esther. Even those that have to do with me. There's only one thing I can do for you: forgive you.”

He knew Esther was just a victim of Voiello’s plan, what Esther needed, was forgiveness, “Forgive you always.”

At this exact moment, there was a breeze, with a lily was burst into blossom next to Esther, she had a strange feeling, “Holy Father, I feel it.”

The warmth ran through her body, she smiled with tears in her eyes, “Yes, I feel it.”

“Yes.” Lenny with his eyes closed, his emphatic prayer on her behalf, had been answered by Holy Mary, “You're right. I feel it too.”

He held his palms together and prayed.

_I praise you, Virgin Mary, Mother of God._

Esther’s wish was granted, she was pregnant.


	7. VI. Nine Months Later, The Sky is Still Blue

A disarmed Voiello, seemed to get easier to work with, at least Lenny felt the hurdles were less than before. With fewer conflicts in between, Lenny could work a little bit more free-handed.

At their morning meeting, Lenny, sitting at his desk with a cigarette in his hand, as usual, both Sister Mary and Voiello were sitting in front of him. He told Voiello, “There was a TV programme last night, which really caught my eye.”

“Holy Father, are you talking about Tonino Pettola, the shepherd?”

“A fraud.” Lenny had a smoke, narrowed his eyes said in a flat tone, “He claims that we returned his document unopened. Do we have any mail record of it? Or he didn’t send anything to us at all!”

“I will check with the office of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints, Holy Father,” said Voiello.

“He claimed he sees the Madonna, and has the stigmata, he showed them on the show.” Lenny was disdained, “He wants us to recognize his _abilities_. Otherwise, he will form a new _church_? This needs to be done without delay.”

This Church was his territory, no one dares to invade it. He would arm himself with God by his side, to defend it, with all cost.

“Of course, I will take a look at it. Holy Father, Easter is coming.” Voiello showed his concerns.

The Easter Vigil is the most important liturgy of public worship and Masses of the year.

“The Lent, the Easter Vigil, and the Good Friday Liturgy will proceed as usual, only in a different way.” Lenny understood what Voiello meant, _what has to be done has to be done,_ “Everything will stay the same, only we minimize the scale. It will take place at St. Peter’s Basilica, all of them are a close-door liturgy, a limited faithful will be allowed. No TV broadcasting, only the radio broadcast.”

“How about the foot-washing? This is Your Holiness’ first Holy Thursday Foot-washing.”

“I intended to follow my predecessor’s decree, the twelve of them should be representatives of the community: men and women, young and old, healthy and sick, rich and poor, soldier and prisoner, priest and nun, at least three of them will be women.” Lenny signed internally, _I don’t like to be in the public, doesn’t mean I don’t do anything._

“As you wish, Holy Father. Once the list is ready, it will be passed on to you for your final decision.” Voiello felt relieved, at least His Holiness didn’t say cancel the whole Easter Liturgy.

“Anything else?” Lenny took another smoke.

Voiello replied, “The Kurtwell case.”

“About this, I would like to appoint Monsignor Gutierrez as the cardinal at the coming consistory.”

Even Gutierrez conducted the investigation under the Pope’s order, however, Archbishop Kurtwell would never take the investigation seriously. By appointed Gutierrez as a cardinal, it might show Kurtwell that Pope Pius XIII wouldn’t let him walk away easily this time.

“Certainly, Holy Father,” Voiello said, with a reserved smile on his face, “and that can give Monsignor Gutierrez authority to proceed the investigation.”

“Exactly.” Lenny stood up and held out his hand.

“I will be working on it, Holy Father.” Voiello kissed the ring and left the Papal Office.

~ ~ ~ ~

On Wednesday, before Lenny met with Voiello, he summoned Gutierrez to his office.

Gutierrez kissed the Pope’s ring and took the seat.

Then he found out there was a stack of files in front of him.

“Those are the files of the Kurtwell case.” said Lenny, who was standing by the window, “Most of them are cold-case now, as the victims dropped the accusation, still, there are a couple of them can be reinvestigated. It’s my fault that I didn’t pay more attention to this matter before.”

Guilt, was written in Lenny’s eyes, and that was the reason he intended to choose Gutierrez to investigate and evaluate this case.

“I made some notes already, hope that might help your investigation.”

Gutierrez opened one of them and found that there were lots of pretty handwriting notes through the pages. “Holy Father, when are you want me to leave for New York?”

“Not now, not until the next Consistory.” said the Pope.

“The Consistory?”

“Yes, because you will be promoted. I have appointed you, and now you are the first in the line. You will go to New York as a Cardinal.”

Gutierrez was overwhelmed, “Holy Father, I…I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be, Gutierrez. I did say I wouldn’t send you to fight a monster with bare hands.” Lenny turned and smiled at Gutierrez, “I trust you, always.”

“I will try my best and wouldn’t let you down.” Gutierrez stood up and went to the Pope, knelt, and kissed the ring.

Lenny walked Gutierrez, who was holding the stack of files in his arms, to the door. “Let’s take down this monster.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, who’s this Tonino Pettola?” Lenny, pacing in his office with a cold face, asked Voiello.

“Holy Father, he did send us documents for couple times, this is the one we received yesterday.” Voiello passed a red folder to the Pope. Lenny took it and started to read it.

“He claimed two years ago, he began having visions, seeing the Virgin Mary, since then, thousands of faithful have come from all over Europe, just to see him, to meet him, to touch him, to ask him for a miracle,” Voiello reported, his eyes were following the Pope.

“Clearly that is a lie.” He closed the folder and passed it to Valente. “We know nothing about him till recently, he is taking the advantage on me! Because I’m an invisible pope: I don’t show myself; I don’t see any faithful. And him! By performing so-call _miracles_ , to lure people to become his followers. That is blasphemy!”

Lenny was furious, he couldn’t stand with it anymore, he would not allow anyone by using God’s name to play tricks.

“What are you going to do, Holy Father?” Voiello asked.

“He wants my answer.” Lenny narrowed his eyes and smirked, “I will give him one then.”

“Holy Father, you mean an audience?” Voiello asked with curious.

“No,” Lenny, with his firm steps, walked back to the desk, hands on the edge, leaning forward, eyes with determination, and said, “I, will pay him a visit.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Time slipped through your fingertips, just like water.

Lenny was studying the Venus of Willendorf, he asked Voiello, full of curiosity, “What is it about that statuette that you find so sensual?”

“I’d prefer not to delve into my psyche.” Voiello was with something more important in his mind, the Church was under an enormous financial crisis. He took his seat after the Pope sat down.

“Holy Father, donations have declined. Revenues from religious taxes have declined, tourist visits to the Vatican have declined, greatly reducing the influx of funds to Vatican City. There is not much that the Vatican Bank can do, changes in banking regulations mean that our hands are now tied. If we continue on this course, our days of free willing finances are over.”

“The faithful will return.” Lenny didn’t worry at all, “It’s a natural cycle.”

“For now, the faithful are not returning.” Voiello was distressed that the Pope hadn’t face the reality, “And small but dangerous enclaves of Catholic fundamentalism are starting to spring up, just like in Islam.”

“Islam has more followers than the Catholic Church,” Lenny said with his eyes closed, he was enjoyed being the invisible pope.

“Don’t you find it a burden to take on the responsibility of such risky and unpopular decisions?” Voiello just didn’t understand, everyone wanted to see him, and he refused to be seen.

“No.” Lenny didn’t think that was a problem.

“Your Holiness, who are you, really?” Voiello was very frustrated.

Lenny opened his eyes and gave Voiello a mysterious smile.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the unusual Easter Liturgy, Andrew went back to Honduras for a break and hand over his role as Bishop of Pedro Sula to his successor – Monsignor Jorge Aguero, as he finally accepted his new post: The Prefect for the Congregation for the Clergy.

Andrew was trying to stay as long as possible. However, he was unable to extend his _holiday_.

He was summoned to the Vatican by the Pope.

He needed to be back for the Consistory, together with reported to his new duty.

Reluctantly, he gave his final speech to farewell his parish faithful and headed back to the Vatican.

For Andrew Dussolier, Honduras was and always be his home.

~ ~ ~ ~

Gutierrez was very nervous. Even God had given him nine months to get himself ready for today, for the Consistory.

Inside the Sistine Chapel, he was dressing in the choir dress with scarlet vestment, sitting in the last row.

Pope Pius XIII was sitting on the throne.

After the choir finished the prayer, Gutierrez stood up and slowly walked down the nave. Lenny was pleased as he waited for this day long enough.

Gutierrez stopped in front of the Pope, an altar server placed a red zucchetto on his head, then a scarlet biretta placed by the Pope.

Pope Pius XIII announced, “Receive the red hat, therefore, by the authority of the almighty God of Saint Peter and Paul and by our Own, this venerable brother of ours, we create and solemnly proclaim of the Holy Roman Church, Cardinal Bernardo Alonso Gutierrez.”

Followed by the ring on Gutierrez’s right ring finger, Pius XIII said, “Receive the ring from the hands of Peter.”

Finally, he handed a parchment to Gutierrez, “And know that through the love of the Prince of the Apostles your love for the Church is strengthened. Now let us offer the prayer that Christ has given us as the model of all prayers.”

The College of Cardinals stood up and prayed with the choir.

Afterwards, Gutierrez was hugged by his follow cardinals as a welcome.

~ ~ ~ ~

Seeing Gutierrez got promoted as a cardinal, Tommaso was upset, as the Pope had promised him that he would become a cardinal one day.

Therefore, when he knew there was a Consistory after a cardinal’s death, he was expecting the Pope would keep his promise - made him a cardinal, but he didn’t.

That made him angry with the Pope, he didn’t know whether he should trust the Pope anymore, as he knew so many things, especially about Pope Pius XIII himself.

Should he speak out? Or kept the secret?

He didn’t know.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Consistory, Lenny was informed by Valente that Esther just gave birth to her child.

He smiled when he received the news, and pleased that Esther was blessed by God and Holy Mary.

With proper security measures, the Pope made his trip to the city hospital.

However, the news travelled fast, and the press had a field day. All because everyone had the same dying wish – a picture of Pope Pius XIII.

They followed the motorcade to the hospital.

The clever driver took couple detours to get rid of them, and once after his car inside the parking lot, the Pope’s securities checked and cleared all the corridors, made sure everyone, included the medical staff, were stayed inside their rooms, with doors and blinds closed. When the Pope walked by, people peeked out the door gap to see the Pope.

And Lenny, who was holding a ridiculously huge basket of flowers, so that he could hide his face, made his way to Esther’s room.

Lenny, actually kicked the door opened and walked in.

“Flowers!” Lenny left the basket on the side table, and stopped Peter with a gesture, and then Valente presented a red gift box to Esther. Lenny said, “This is for the baby.”

Esther still looked peaky, but the happiness and joy couldn’t hide from her eyes, said with a smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have, Holy Father.”

“It’s a Bible that belonged to Thomas Jefferson, the President of the United States, but it’s like new, he never opened it.”

She opened the gift and found that it was a leather-bound Bible.

“We certainly can’t blame Jefferson, the Bible isn’t light reading,” Lenny said with a reassuring smile.

The baby in the crib giggled, which drew Lenny’s attention. The baby seemed to know the Pope’s presence, he waved his hand to say hello.

Esther took a look at her son, and back to Lenny, “We named him Pius.”

Lenny felt honoured, for Peter and Esther chose their son named after him. “A name for a bird. He’ll fly high!”

The nervous father, Peter, who was sitting by the end of the bed, said to the Pope, “Do you want to hold him, Your Holiness?”

“ _That_ really would be an unusual experience for me,” Lenny said with hesitation.

“And for Peter and I would be an honour.” Esther encouraged the Pope.

Lenny reached out, not sure what to do…he didn’t have a clue how to hold a baby properly.

Baby Pius was so tiny, and fragile. Also, so pure and innocent.

Lenny smiled nervously, looked at the baby, hesitated, he patted the baby, and carefully lifted him and held in his arms. He felt relieved, looked at the baby. _He is adorable_. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Pius XIV.”

Both Esther and Peter surprised… _Pius XIV_?

Lenny was holding the baby close, inhaled deeply, the vanilla smell on the baby was so nice, “It’s a pity we can’t remember what we smelled like when we were babies.”

Lenny walked to the window, blessed the baby with a kiss on his forehead, inhaled again, something slipped into his mind, he looked up and muttered, “I…I do remember what my parents smelled like.”

He smiled and observed Baby Pius under the sunlight, “He takes after you.”

Seemed Peter not quite agrees, “But if you look closely, he also takes a little…”

“No.” Lenny said firmly, “He’s a very good-looking baby, he resembles his mother.”

The situation was getting awkward. It seemed that Peter had a kind of misunderstandings.

“Holy Father.” Valente suddenly called out.

That scared Lenny and he dropped the baby…and everyone screamed.

Fortunately, the baby landed on the bed, and this little fellow didn’t cry at all.

Lenny was scared to death, his hands covered on the face, full of guilt, “Forgive me, I’m such a fool. My hands only know how to bless people.”

Peter rushed to fetch his son, and passed to Esther, “It’s all right, nothing happened.”

“I’m such an idiot.” Lenny blamed himself.

“We all have to get used to new things, Holy Father.” Peter was trying to comfort the Pope, “Nothing happened.”

“Yes, yes you’re right, Peter.” Lenny was still panicking, he took a couple of deep breaths and tried to calm himself, “Valente, was there something you wanted to tell me?”

“Holy Father, the Italian Prime Minister is waiting for you in the Vatican.” Valente, he felt sorry too, but he had to remind the Pope of a meeting.

Lenny exhaled, once again he was calm and collected, “Of course, it slipped my mind.”

He walked to the bedside, with an apologetic smile, “Esther, I must go. In my head, I’ll be at this audience; but in my heart, I’ll never have left this room.”

Just before he left, he turned around and had a last look on Baby Pius and Esther, “It’s surprising to see how a young woman, just moments after having a child, can be transformed into a mother.”

Pius XIII made his way back to the Vatican.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Italian Prime Minister was waiting at the Vatican, and before his audience with the Pope, his assistant reminded him, “Please allow me to recommend extreme caution with the Pope. The information I’ve received suggests that he’s more diabolical than saintly.”

“Excellent!” the Prime Minister smirked, “He’s finally meeting his match.”

Voiello was receiving the Prime Minister at the carpark, “Welcome, Mr. Prime Minister, the Holy Father is expecting you. This way please.”

It was a private audience, only the Pope and the Prime Minister in the Papal Office.

Lenny, who wore the golden-embroidered mantum on top of his usual vestment. He was closing his eyes, praying.

However, the Prime Minister was misunderstood, “Holy Father, are you asleep?”

“No, Mr. Prime Minister. I’m praying for you.” It’s not the first time he got misunderstand.

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” the Prime Minister smiled mildly, “And thanks very much for giving me this audience, after just nine months.”

“I didn’t think you’d be running the Country this long.” Lenny mocked, “I said to myself: _why bother?_ But I was wrong. Well, how is this Italy of ours doing?”

“Much better, thanks to me.” the Prime Minister gave him an arrogant smile.

“You think so? I think just the opposite.” Lenny disagreed, he shown the Prime Minister of a folded note on the coffee table, “If you wanted to do _much better_ , perhaps you should keep firmly in mind this list of requests. I jotted it down in a hurry, if there’s anything I’ve left off, I can certainly add it back. I make sure you receive it promptly.”

The Prime Minister read it and found out that was a list of demands:

  * _Greater assistance to Catholic families_
  * _No to common-law marriages_
  * _No to gay marriages_
  * _More money to Catholic schools_
  * _Further tax and banking benefits to the Holy See_
  * _Absolute prohibition of abortion in all cases_
  * _Absolute prohibition of divorce in all cases_
  * _No to any temptation to accept euthanasia_
  * _Restrictions on the religious freedom of Muslims and Hindus_
  * _Reopening of discussions on the Lateran Pacts_
  * _A full review of the territorial boundaries of the Vatican State_



He laughed with his eyes wide opened, “This last request really is remarkable, I have to admit, I didn’t know that you had expansionistic ambitions.”

He dropped the list, “But I was told before coming that this new Pope is a very funny man.”

“But did they forget to inform you that this new Pope is a man who’s far more intelligent than you?” Lenny was mocking.

“No, because it isn’t true.” The Prime Minister shook his head, mocking back to the Pope, “Do you know what the difference is between me and you, Holy Father?”

“Let’s hear.” Lenny smile mildly.

“The difference is that I was elected with 41% of the votes, and that 41% exists. You were elected by God. And it’s not a sure thing that God exists.”

“Fine!” Lenny rolled his eyes, even the Prime Minister might have a point, “There’s another element worthy of your consideration: just in case God does happen to exist, do you know how long it would take Him to wipe that 41% off the face of the earth?”

The Prime Minister gave the Pope a sarcastic smile, “And where will God eradicate that 41%? At the polls in the next election? Or in their homes, while they’re watching TV? Or, perhaps in their sleep!”

“At the polls in the next election.” Lenny leaned forward, and said firmly, “And what’s more: I, as the vicar of Christ, will be happy to help God eradicating that 41%.”

They both laughed at each other, however, the Prime Minister was seemingly getting uneasy, he adjusted his tie.

Lenny, with a pleased smile, continued, “And if don’t stop playing the idiot, I’m gonna be forced to prove to you that God does exist.”

The Prime Minister cleared his throat, “Let me explain something to you, Holy Father.”

“Please,” Lenny said.

The Prime Minister told the Pope that his demands might have some basic facts in history. When the Church was stronger than nowadays, the Italian Government would have an obligation to take those demands under serious consideration. Those were worked in the past. But, for the modern days like right now, under the Papacy of Pope Pius XIII, that was hard to say.

More than nine months, the Pope had never shown himself to the faithful, he did not recite a single Angelus in St. Peter’s Square, did not communicate with anyone, simply retreated into the palace on the hill. And the worst thing was, the Pope had threatened and terrorized the faithful, through the terse and telegraphic communiqués in L’Osservatore Vaticano, with obscurantist and retrograde theses.

That caused the Italian Catholics to turn away from the Church and masses, according to the recent respected researches and studies.

The Prime Minister, with a confident smile and said, “So, Holy Father, that gives me a great opportunity that the late and last Prime Ministers never have: to modernize Italy. Without fear of retaliation or the risk of losing support among voters, I can review the colossal fraud of the eight per thousand Church tax, finally imposing punitive taxes on the dioceses, and, most important of all, I can finally free the country from the pork barrels, stumbling blocks, and vetoes of the Holy Roman Church in the areas of euthanasia, common-law marriages, gay couples, abortion, scientific research. To cut a long story short, Holy Father, thanks to you I can start a revolution.”

“A very persuasive speech.”

That was the Pope’s comment, he lifted his chin, seemed it didn’t affect him at all.

“I’m glad we’re finally beginning to talk sense.”

Again, the Prime Minister misunderstood. Lenny sighed internally.

“Persuasive, and stupid, I might add, like every politicians’ speech.” Lenny smiled, “And what’s more, unrealizable.”

“Unrealizable?” the Prime Minister was shocked, “We shall see about that!”

“Now, if you’d care to listen to me, I’ll show you that God exists, and how God and I can annihilate that 41% of the population that makes you feel so cheerful and full of yourself.”

“I am very eager to hear what you have to say, Holy Father.” The Prime Minister was wondered how the invisible pope can wipe out his supporters and made him lost the election.

“I’m glad,” Lenny said, a sardonic _half_ - _smile_ flickers over his face.

“You see, Mr. Prime Minister, in the 60s the young people that protested in the streets spouted all kinds of heresies, all except one: The power to the imagination. However, most people don’t have imagination, and neither do you. Luckily, God and I have plenty. God and I are simply dripping with imagination. Now, just try and imagine something with me:

“In six months, Italy will hold the general elections, and you will try to maintain or increase your 41% share of the electorate. And right now, everything indeed points to your ability to maintain that 41%.”

The Prime Minister nodded, to maintain his rate of support was his top priority.

Lenny continued, “Just imagine, a few weeks before the election, it comes an announcement. Pope Pius XIII has decided to appear in public for the very first time. To talk to the Italian Catholics.

“What morbid curiosity! The whole world is dying of curiosity. And it is absolutely to be expected, it’s normal, we all want to see that which is hidden, we all want to stare the forbidden in the face. Pius XIII appears and so do his beautiful blue-eyes and this soft, round mouth. A dazzling image, so dazzling it blinds people. In other words, a powerful, evocative image, not unlike that of Christ.”

In no doubt, the appearance of Pope Pius XIII was not just merely dazzle, it also offered reassurance as well. With a magnificent speech, full of quotations in Latin, to tell the faithful, must not be afraid. Moreover, who would reject a Pope who was as handsome and reassuring as Christ?

Lenny was quite confident about himself, “Last of all, just a few short weeks before the elections, the Pope, me, says just two words: _Non expedit_. Do you know what that means?”

“No,” said the Prime Minister. _That’s Latin._

“Of course, you don’t, you’re far too young. The _Non expedit_ was first issued by Pius IX in 1868. It was eliminated by Benedict XV in 1919, but guess what I can do?”

There was a grin on Lenny’s face, “What I, who am not answerable to 41% of the Italians but only to God. Guess what I can do? I can restore the _Non expedit_. The Catholics will all rush to Google those words. What do they mean?”

 _Non expedit_ was a decree that the Holy See enjoined upon Italian Catholics the policy of abstention from the polls in parliamentary elections, which meant that it was unacceptable for Catholics to vote in the Italian elections.

“And do you know what the surveys that you have commissioned tell us? That the number of Italians who identify themselves as Catholics is 87.8% of the population. Now you may say to me: ‘They could simply disobey you.’ True. But while a Catholic might disobey the Pope, they’d never disobey Christ.”

“I’m already the former, but believe me, if I want to, I can have myself accredited as the latter as well, and when I do,” Lenny was holding his cheek, with sorry in his eyes, “you’ll lose your election. Here’s how it works: since you get 31% of your votes from the Catholic electorate, ah, you’d wind up with a mere 10%.”

The Prime Minister started to learn that the Pope was not kidding, once he showed himself to the faithful, it would be a game-changer. He gulped and said, “I wouldn’t be so sure of those numbers, if I were you.”

And Lenny, who walked to his desk and fetched a mirror, then back to his seat. He was smiling and holding out the mirror, “Mr. Prime Minister, take a look in this mirror. What do you see?”

Looking at the mirror, the Prime Minister said, “Two young men. One of whom is dressed in a slightly odd style.”

Lenny was shaking his head, smile was still on his face, “I, on the other hand, see two media events.”

He was showing the mirror to the Prime Minister, “One has already taken place, that’s you. The other is about to happen.”

He turned the mirror to himself; he was always well prepared for his battle. Then he put down the mirror.

“Now, having set out to prove to you the existence of God, I believe I’m done.”

Lenny looked at the Prime Minister, then the note. Seemingly to remind the Prime Minister that _you missed something_. Then he picked up the note, reading it again, and said, “But in that case, why haven’t you appeared in public yet?”

“Because there’s still no need.” Lenny’s eyes were sparkling, he knew that he had to show himself someday, it’s just not the time yet.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the audience with the Pope, the Italian Prime Minister, like he was slapped, and now believed that the Pope was really diabolical.

When he showed himself in the press conference, he said that His Holy Father was truly a saint. The meeting with the Holy Father was warm, productive, and stimulating. Nonetheless, substantial disagreements still remained with the Holy See.

Meanwhile, Voiello was watching the live TV broadcast with Lenny.

“The Italian government, despite the Pontiff’s misgivings, will continue the efforts to legalize common-law marriages, no matter what the sexual orientation is. And, as you know, the revision of the eight per thousand Church tax is approaching and will be the subject of our next cabinet meeting.”

Voiello was worried, as he knew the Italian Government took the issues very seriously, “Holy Father, would you like me to see what I can do to mend the relations with the Italian Government?”

“He’s bluffing.” Lenny mocked.

“Who?”

“The young man in a hurry who’s speaking on TV right now.” _That guy was sweating in front of me five minutes ago_. “He’s selling smoke and mirrors. He won’t do a thing he says.”

Voiello was not so sure, “Holy Father, I’ve read the draft bills that have already been approved by the various commissions. These people are deadly serious. The revision of the eight per thousand Church tax would threaten the survival of the Italian bishops.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Lenny laughed, “What do we care? You and I are the Holy See. The Italian bishops can take care of themselves.”

“Holy Father, I beg you, this is no laughing matter.” Voiello disagreed, the Church was facing a huge crisis they never have.

“Rest easy, he’s bluffing.” Lenny was totally comfortable with it.

“Holy Father, believe me, political awareness is an archetypal emotion for the Secretary of State.”

“Soccer mania is an archetypal emotion for the Secretary of State.” Lenny teased Voiello, with a mocking smile, “I want to let you know that I’ve been working hard on something new.”

“On what?” Voiello didn’t have a good feeling about it.

Lenny dropped a bomb, “A measure forbidding priests from giving absolution in the confessional to women who have had abortions. It’s a kind of soft, disguised form of excommunication.”

Voiello’s heart skipped a beat, _what is our Holy Father thinking? How many enemies he would like to create? My hands are full already._ “Holy Father, we will wake up and find the women of the world, led by the Femen, rushing the walls of the Vatican, hammers in hand, bent on destruction.”

“Fine.” Lenny smile, eyes were shining with a spark, “We’ll rebuild those walls, taller and finer.”

Voiello was speechless, he had no idea how to stop His Holiness’ great plan.

~ ~ ~ ~

Before Gutierrez left for New York, he was invited to having dinner with the Pope.

“My Monsignor, no sorry, Eminence.” Lenny chuckled, “Now, everything you needed is ready, I hope you are ready to go.”

“Yes, I am, Holy Father,” said Gutierrez.

Lenny sighed, “Gutierrez, there is something I want to tell you before you go. When I was in New York, my parish was Brooklyn, and Kurtwell is Queens. We are never friends, and he counts himself popular. As you know, I don’t like to show myself in public.”

“Since you are in New York, Holy Father?”

“Yes,” Lenny said softly.

Gutierrez found that there was sadness in his eyes, that worried him, “Holy Father, did something happen when you were in New York?”

“Do you remember when I was in New York, I was under Cardinal Spencer’s protection?”

“Yes, Holy Father, he told me before, and he is your mentor.”

Lenny signed again, “Those years were not easy for me, because of my looks.”

“What? Why?” Gutierrez didn’t understand, why people would harm someone so beautiful, both in the face and the soul?

“I was sent to New York because Sister Mary and Bishop Spencer are friends. Not only this, no one sees me as me because of this face as well. No matter how hardworking I am, they still don’t recognize me. All because of this face. So many of them want to destroy me in so many different ways.” Lenny, staring at his dessert, barely touched it, “Beauty is my burden and my sin.”

No, no, no, no! Gutierrez’s eyes wild-opened, he was in shock, “Holy Father, don’t…don’t tell me you… you…”

“No,” Lenny gave Gutierrez a reassuring smile, “never that way. People just think I reap the benefit with my face, I am just the blue-eye-boy who hiding behind Bishop Spencer.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Yes, it is. Therefore, I choose to stay away from most people, I just show people my works. Only the formal relationship stays, so that I can preserve my reputation. Then nobody will say a word that my success is dependent on my looks, not my abilities.”

“That is the reason why Your Holiness to choose not showing yourself to the faithful, to become _invisible_.”

“Sometimes, beauty is a gift, but also a burden at the same time.” Lenny smiled and walked towards Gutierrez, who stood up when the Pope left his seat. They faced each other, Lenny placed his hand on his shoulders, “Gutierrez, I told you this, is I wanted you to know, don’t let people judge you by anything nonsense. Because New York is really a rough town, and Kurtwell may against you by telling the others that you are the Pope’s favourite, to discredit your work.”

“I will keep it in mind, Holy Father.”

“I am sure I will miss our chatting time, as I will not see you for a while.” Lenny gave Gutierrez a tight-lip smile, then patted his shoulder, “Do write to me, for good and the bad.”

“I will do, Holy Father,” Gutierrez promised.

The next morning, Gutierrez, with a suitcase in his hand, left the Vatican. At the gate, he took a last look at St. Peter’s Basilica, fear was in his eyes.

The car was waiting, it was the third time he left the Vatican, he gulped and made the crossing. However, he didn’t pay attention to the traffic, a car rushed by and he almost fell over. He was panting, he took another deep breath, remembered he had a mission, a mission from Pope Pius XIII, who trusted him and him, Gutierrez, was intended to accomplish.

He took another deep breath, with confidence this time, crossed the street and hopped on the car.

~ ~ ~ ~

“ _‘Old and unreliable Rorschach Tests orders to investigate intrusively into the past of aspiring priests, young men paid bounties to lure those aspiring priests into compromising sexual situations as soon as they’re allowed out into the world.’_ That’s what I read in the directive I found on my desk this morning, drawn up by who knows what renegade underling while I was in Honduras.” Andrew was furious, as the Prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, he won’t allow such restriction applied on any candidates.

The tension was building up at the breakfast table, Sister Mary, was in the middle of the battlefield, her eyes were glancing between Lenny and Andrew.

“Drawn up by me!” Lenny said in a firm voice.

“Every candidate for priesthood takes a vow of chastity. Their sexual predilections are irrelevant.” Andrew argued.

Lenny sat up straight, looked at Andrew, “The truth is: they take the vow, but how many of them respect it? Why we need a vow of chastity? It defines us! Our honour, our dignity! It all depends on it! We are not just a priest, we are also a servant to God. We should keep the vow, till the day we die!”

“Well, even what you said is corrected.” Andrew shook his head, he didn’t understand, why Lenny had to start an endless controversy. “I’m telling you no. Lenny, I’m not okay with this.”

“On that day, I didn’t go looking for my parents. Instead, I went back to the orphanage, in order to be with my friend Andrew Dussolier, who was all I had left in the world.”

There was loneliness in Lenny’s eyes.

He wished Andrew would be by his side and helping him to reform the Church. _But why? Why are they all make me say something I really don’t want to say?_ “That was the beginning. You owe me, as a friend, as a man of the cloth who acknowledges my authority: You must do what I ask.”

~ ~ ~ ~

A group of Franciscan monks requested to meet the Pope this afternoon. However, when they showed up, they made Lenny very, very annoyed.

Lenny looked at their barefoot, he narrowed his eyes, “What do you want?”

“Your resignation.” There was one who looked like the leader of them said, “Otherwise our order will threaten a schism.”

“A schism? Just try it.” Lenny gave them a dark smile, “I’ll strip you of all you have. EVERYTHING. Your beds, your tunics, your underpants, all those wonderful monasteries you have in the most wonderful, loveliest places on earth. Because all that belongs to me.”

Some of the monks started to look worried, they lowered their eyes, shuddered.

And Lenny, ran his eyes over the monks with sullen resentment, “Are you ready to live on the street? Like St. Francis of Assisi? Are you ready to sleep on the ground, kicked and spat upon by junkies, and homeless people, and drunks? I’m ready to wage a war without end against you. Are you ready to wage that war, armed with nothing but bottomless poverty?”

Lenny curled his lips, “I didn’t think so. And in that case, stop talking bullshit!”

And then he walked out, because the air of the room was unbreathable.

~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, at the Secretary of State Office, an unusual visitor, Captain Becchi, came to look for Cardinal Voiello.

“Who sent you?” Voiello raised his eyebrows and asked.

“The magistrate, Raffaele Esposito,” said Captain Becchi, who was browsing the bookshelf, where was the collection of Voiello’s biographies. “I would like to ask you a few questions.”

“And I’ll be happy to provide you with some answers,” Voiello said sincerely.

“Your Eminence, do you have any idea why I’m here?”

“Is it about the restaurant owner of _Er Core de Roma_? He must have filed a complaint against me. Last week he claimed that Maradona is still on drugs, and I really lashed out at him.”

Voiello gestured to the captain to take a seat.

“No, Your Eminence.” The Captain seat on a padded stool, “It’s about Tonino Pettola. Do you know him?”

“Who?” Voiello blinked.

“Tonino Pettola.”

“Ah, yes.” Voiello said and smile gently, “Of course, I know his reputation, a lousy reputation. He’s a notorious con artist who claims he can pick out the Blessed Virgin Mary amid his flock of sheep. The Congregation for the Causes of Saints has vehemently rejected his applications.”

“Have you ever met him personally?” the Captain asked with concerns.

“Never.”

“But Pettola’s relatives claim the exact opposite.” The captain doubted it, “They say that Tonino Pettola, one evening a few months ago, in his home met with you, the Pope and other Cardinals. From that moment on he seemed shocked and obsessed with your meeting because they say that you threatened to throw him in quicksand.”

Voiello chuckled, “Does it strike you as plausible, Captain, that me myself, the Cardinals, and the Pope would all go to Tonino Pettola’s house and threaten to throw him in quicksand? It does seem strange but not implausible.”

“What happened to Tonino Pettola? He disappeared. His relatives claim he was being persecuted by persons high up in the Vatican.”

“Do you really think we’d waste our time on a poor raving lunatic?”

“That poor man had followers all around the world and was about to found his own Church.” said the Captain, his instinct told him that Voiello knew it and kept it away from anyone.

“He’s not the only one, Captain. At least two crazies pop up every day. If the Vatican were to persecute and threaten them all, it wouldn’t have time to do anything else.” Voiello said with a thin smile.

“Phone records reveal that numerous calls from inside the Vatican were made to Pettola.” The Captain tried to push another button.

“I believe it. People are always making calls from the Vatican. I’ve been fighting for years against such wasteful behaviour.” Voiello was not surprised, as there were loads of phone calls in and out of the Vatican every day.

“Waste is not the point, Your Eminence.”

“Don’t you think it’s a contradiction?” Voiello fixed his glasses a bit.

“If Pettola was an insignificant artist and you had no interest in him, why all the phone calls?”

“The Congregation for the Causes of Saints was in contact with him, doing their best to check his urgent demands.”

“The calls not only came from the Congregation for the Causes of Saints but also from Your Eminence’s offices and from the Pope’s.”

“There are about 250 employees in the Secretary of State and the Pope’s offices. I can’t rule out that someone might have had a reason to call Tonino Pettola. Perhaps someone that believed all his fibs and wanted to meet him.” Voiello told him with the eyes fixed on him.

“Do you have any idea where Tonino Pettola might be?” the Captain was still skeptical.

“He’s probably in some far-flung monastery praying and repenting.” Voiello guessed.

“You have an answer for everything, Eminence.” the Captain cocked his head.

“That’s my job, Captain.” Voiello was still in his poker face.

“I’ve heard the same thing.”

“What, Captain?” Voiello didn’t follow.

“That Maradona is still doing drugs. A friend of mine told me, he’s in Intelligence and stationed in Dubai.”

“Why do you want to hurt me, Captain? Why?”

The Captain answered with a wicked smile, “Because I’m a fan of Inter, Your Eminence.”

Inter, his Napoli’s forever enemy.

~ ~ ~ ~

Later at night, Andrew was dining out by himself at a city restaurant, he was absent-minded when he was eating.

He couldn’t get rid of that disappointed young face.

Angelo Sanchez.

As the Prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, Andrew had just rejected the young man’s priesthood, early this afternoon.

The young man had been told that he was neither suited for nor worthy of the priesthood. He was also prohibited from requesting admission to a seminary, in his home diocese or any other, for seven years.

Young Angelo was devastated.

Andrew was devastated too.

All because of Lenny’s new restriction.

Now, any candidates who had any sexual disturbances afflicting might made them unacceptable to become a priest.

Soft steps approached which brought Andrew back to the reality, he blinked and saw there was a young man stood by his table.

“My name is Angelo Sanchez.”

He was the young man who got expelled by him this afternoon.

Angelo, who was just stared at him, eyes were dilated, full of anger.

“I was born in Alicante into a family of manual laborers and I am not a homosexual. I had such a simple dream: to serve God.”

Angelo felt the Church rejected him with such ridiculous reason was unfair.

“You murdered my dream. You are nothing more than a pathetic, miserable, cowardly murderer.”

He grabbed a glass of wine from the table and splashed it on Andrew’s face.

Then he dropped it and ran out of the door.

Fear and guilt washed thought Andrew, then he rushed out the door to chase after the young man.

The street was dim and quiet, with no signs of Angelo. Andrew searched along the street, when he heard there was crying, he followed the cry and found the young man.

He was hiding at an apartment lobby, Andrew sat next to him.

The young man was crying and told Andrew, “I could have been an excellent priest.”

Andrew hugged him, tried to comfort this lost soul, “Yes, you could have.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After Andrew said goodbye to Angelo, the young man said he would go back home. However, a bad feeling still haunted Andrew, he was worried, hoping that it won’t end badly.

He needed a shelter, therefore, he went to Sister Mary.

“He…he just wants to be a priest. What I have done? I cast him out of the Church. Then he called me a murderer, I just hope he will be okay.” Andrew was a little bit drunk, half lying on the sofa. “I can’t take it…I just want to go home.”

“What do you mean, home? We’re both orphans.” Sister Mary lit a cigarette and passed to Andrew.

“You too?” Andrew took it, eyes still hazy.

“Me too.” Sister Mary, like a mother, embraced Andrew from behind. “I was abandoned by my parents when I was just three years old. Children are so lovely when they are three years of age. How can anyone abandon three years old?”

No one knew that Sister Mary had the same fate as Lenny, they both got abandoned by their parents at a young age.

 _‘Where do they find the nerve?’_ Sister Mary asked so many times to herself.

“I never knew you were an orphan, too.”

“Well, now you know.” Sister Mary rubbed his shoulder.

“Does Lenny know?” Andrew wondered.

“No. And he never will.” Some secrets are better-stayed secrets.

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t steal the stage from the Pope. And you don’t interfere with his sorrow.”

Unfortunately, a bang sound echoed over St. Peter’s Square.

The Swiss Guards found that there was a body.

A young man was jumped to his death from the Basilica.

Andrew’s nightmare came true: Angelo Sanchez committed suicide.


	8. VII. I Can't Escape Myself

It was a shocking news in the Vatican: a young man jumped to his death into St. Peter’s Square, as an accusation to the Church.

That was a public relations nightmare.

And Lenny, was having a workout at his private gym, didn’t care about there was a battlefield outside the walls.

For Sofia, she needed to release a statement, as damage control.

And for Voiello and Caltanissetta, this might be the chance to take down Pope Pius XIII.

“He will destroy us.” said Caltanissetta, he could accept the Pope being invisible, but he couldn’t stand any new orders or restrictions that would harm anyone, “This losing retrograde battle against homosexuals, especially in the glare of that young man’s suicide, will put an end to everything.”

Voiello agreed too, it’s possible to tolerate so many great things with the Pope, but not a threat to one’s own survival.

“What are we going to do? You told me that you gave those photos to Sister Mary and that she had destroyed them.” The scandal trick was out of consideration, they need to come up something fast before things got heat up.

“That’s true.” Voiello destroyed all the backup files after his confrontation with Pius XIII.

“If you don’t have any photos, what do you have in mind?” Caltanissetta concerned.

“I can make him resign, then in fifteen days we’ll have a new Pope.”

“How?”

“Don’t worry, leave it with me.” Voiello did have a plan, “And this time, we need an adult Pope.”

“Who?”

“Spencer,” Voiello had to admit that Spencer was the best choice; if not, there will be another option, “or else me.”

“No.” Caltanissetta didn’t favour either of them, but only one, “Me.”

“All right.” Voiello didn’t want to put up an argument, “I’ll pull strings in the Conclave like always, and you’ll be the new Pope.”

“And you’ll be an all-powerful Cardinal Secretary of State again.”

Another secret deal had just made.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Church was now facing a media crisis.

Sister Mary didn’t want it to be Lenny’s downfall, she prayed to God, to give her strength, to help Lenny get over this, and to help the Church back on track.

When Sister Mary felt disturbed, she went to play basketball, as it was her favourite. It helped her to concentrate and relieved her stress.

A time of meditation.

When she was playing basketball at the Gardens, there was a shadow following her. The shadow was running through a pathway, and then hiding behind a gate.

Sister Mary followed and found out that was Tommaso.

“I speak frequently with the Pope.” He said.

Sister Mary looked puzzled at Tommaso.

As a secret keeper, Tommaso knew all the secrets. “What I’m about to tell you are those he said to me in conversation, not in the confessional, which means I’m not breaking the seal of confession.”

“What are you about to tell me?” Sister Mary crossed her arms, waiting.

“The Pope is going through a profound crisis of faith.” Tommaso’s voice was full of disappointment.

“What are you insinuating, Don Tommaso?” Sister Mary blinked.

“That, the Pope doesn’t believe in God.”

Tommaso dropped the words and then left the Gardens.

_The Pope doesn’t believe in God._

Sister Mary nodded, she knew what that meant. She looked up at the sky and sighed.

Tommaso, in fact, still didn’t know the Pope well.

Lenny did believe in God, more than anyone. There was only one thing, that would make him doubted with God.

The only miracle Lenny needed most.

~ ~ ~ ~

In the morning, Lenny was in his office, reading the mails from the faithful around the world. When he got hold of one small parcel, he opened it, a piece of smoking pipe pop into his palm.

_No, it can’t be!_

Would it be the miracle he wished for all these years?

Lenny took his precious smoking pipe out from his pocket, then carefully put them together.

Surprisingly, they fitted perfectly.

That was the missing piece.

The smoking pipe that Lenny’s father left it to him, now back into one piece.

Lenny just couldn’t believe it, he flipped over the envelope and there was nothing: no name, no return address, no note, only a small pouch.

He was overwhelmed, petrified. He was staring at the smoking pipe, tears rolled under his eyes.

For the whole five minutes, he didn’t know how to react.

All these years, he searched everywhere, he prayed everywhere, prayed for a miracle to see his parents again.

 _‘Time and patience.’_ Sister Mary told him.

Finally, God answered his prayer.

“Valente!” Lenny called his assistant.

“Yes, Holy Father. What can I do for you?”

“All mails have been screened before being sent to my desk, right?”

“Yes, Holy Father.”

“Please, check this for me,” Lenny handed Valente the envelope and the pouch, “see if you can trace where it is sent from.”

Lenny was chewing his lips and pacing around with the smoking pipe in his hand, waiting for Valente.

_When I see them, what should I say? What should I do?_

Lenny couldn’t wait for the day he could hug his parents again.

However, Valente came back and told him that envelope was not sent by post, it seemed someone dropped it off by hand.

In this case, there was no trace at all.

Lenny was very disappointed. “Thank you, Valente.”

He left his office, clenched the smoking pipe in his hand.

Then he went to the private chapel and found Sister Mary. She was praying.

“They’ve manifested themselves.” His voice was hoarse.

“Who?” Sister Mary looked up and asked.

“My Mom and Dad.” Lenny was still emotional.

“But how?”

“It came in a box.” He showed her his smoking pipe, now was in one piece. “No postmark, no nothing. Not a clue, no way to track them down.”

Longings were in his eyes, he asked, “Why don’t they wanna be tracked down?”

“Because they’re afraid of you, Your Holiness.” Sister Mary said, “Everyone is afraid of you. You’ve gotta cut it out with the fear, Your Holiness.”

 _They are afraid of me?_ Lenny took a step back. Looking at the smoking pipe, “The important thing is that they’re alive”

Sister Mary smiled mildly and said, “And they haven’t forgotten you.”

“I miss them so much.” Holding tight with the smoking pipe, he left the chapel.

~ ~ ~ ~

That night, Lenny dreamt about his parents.

This time he no needs to run, or to search, he was not the lost child anymore.

They were back together.

With smiles and tears, his parents hugged him back.

In the next couple of days, Lenny spent quite a lot of time at the Vatican Museum Gallery.

He was used to be here with Gutierrez.

But now, he was so alone. He wanted to talk to Gutierrez.

_How are you doing in New York?_

He was looking at _The Portrait of Magdalena Ventura with Her Husband and Son_ , thinking of his own parents.

He never had a family portrait, would he have one soon? Or never will be?

He never knows, sighed heavily.

Since the day he received that mail, he was getting miserable. At first, Lenny thought he would be happier than before, because his parents finally made a contact, and proved that they were still alive.

However, the hole in Lenny’s heart seemed to get bigger.

He desperately wanted to see them again.

But what if his parents didn’t want to show up?

Lenny was scared, and so lost.

It was a bad time that Gutierrez was not in the Vatican.

If Lenny was a ship, then Gutierrez would be the anchor.

And now, the ship was in a storm without an anchor, sinking would be a matter of time.

Fortunately, God sent another angel to Lenny.

Baby Pius.

He was truly an angel when Lenny was being around with him, he found calm and peace.

And happiness.

That made Lenny kept coming to visit Esther and Peter.

Lenny began to doubt everything he did in this time, was it right or wrong?

_Am I wrong? For all this time… My parents abandoned me, and I am longing for them for my whole life. Am I doing the same to my faithful?_

~ ~ ~ ~

Sister Mary was praying at the chapel, knelt under the Curcifix, having her confession, “Forgive me, Lord, for I have deceived, I am deceiving, and I will continue to deceive the Holy Father. Forgive me, Lord, but I can no longer continue to look on at the destruction of the man I love more than I love myself. Forgive me, Lord, for I cannot continue any longer to look on at the destruction of the institution I love more than I love myself: The Holy Roman Church.”

She didn’t know whether it was right or not to do this, but to save the Church and Lenny, she must.

She went to the Gardens afterwards, and she was lucky, Voiello was there too. She gave him a look and walked into the bamboo forest.

She was there, waiting for Voiello.

“That’s the Madonna of the Jungle.” Voiello walked by and said.

“I know that.” She was biting her lower lip, rubbing her hands.

Voiello found that was awkward, Sister Mary was always calm and collected, therefore he asked, “Was there something you wanted to tell me, Sister Mary?”

Sister Mary was holding her breath, then exhaled heavily, “The Pope is upset, the Pope is experiencing a moment of weakness.”

She was pacing, “The Pope is distracted. If you need to have him sign a document or something of the sort that gets our Church back on course, this would be the right time to do it.”

_Time and patience._

Voiello looked at her, disbelieved that his chance had come.

“I’ve done my part.” She smiles nervously, “Now you need to do yours.”

“What exactly have you done?” Voiello did notice the Pope was distracted recently.

“Doesn’t matter. You’d better be ready, Voiello.”

Voiello stepped forward and held Sister Mary’s hands, with gratitude and admiration.

“Someone might see us.” Sister Mary retracted her hands, “Be ready.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Valente was constantly worried about the Pope, since the first time His Holiness fainted at the office.

He could tell the Pope was not feeling well, or something was bothering him. He also noticed His Holiness was not eating again, and he had trouble sleeping as well.

Valente suspected that the secret package would be the reason. Therefore, he went back and tried to track it again. Unexpectedly, today he received a phone call from a bishop who said there was a couple would like to meet the Holy Father. When the bishop told them there was no more general audience with the Pope, they said, “The Holy Father will, he is expecting us.”

Valente walked in the office and saw a paled face Holy Father.

His Holiness was gazing at the smoking pipe in his hand, and his mind was miles away.

“Holy Father,” Valente called softly, “It’s Dr. Lindegard.”

Lenny blinked, slowly turned his head, “Doctor? Dr. Lindegard?”

“Yes, Holy Father, I called him to come for your check-up.” Valente showed the doctor in.

“Holy Father, you look awful.” The doctor said.

Lenny was in bad shape. Red eyes, eye bags, dark circles around the eyes; it was sad to see Lenny was so vulnerable, looked like he could collapse anytime.

After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “Holy Father, your sugar level is low, do you have any dizziness? And may I ask, have you eaten today?”

Lenny looked away and shook his head.

“His Holiness hasn’t eaten yet and he was suffered from trouble sleeping too,” Valente said.

Dr. Lindegard noticed the Holy Father was clenching a smoking pipe, it looked old and it must have a sentimental meaning to him. He was not eating, suffering from trouble sleeping, the doctor relieved, the Holy Father was not suffering from any major illness. He asked Valente for a glass of water, and said, “Holy Father, you are perfectly okay, only something upset you and hurt your heart.”

“How could you know?” Lenny was astonishing, only a handful of people knew what exactly happened to him.

“I am a cardiologist, Holy Father. I fixed the heart.” Dr. Lindegard smiled and he was happy that his diagnose was corrected.

Lenny smiled, disbelieved, “Are you really?”

“Yes, I fixed the heart, and now you smile, Holy Father.” The doctor took the glass and add glucose in it, then handed it to the Pope, “Holy Father, please have this, it’s glucose.”

Lenny took it and had a sip, Dr. Lindegard asked, “Would you like to talk about it, Holy Father?”

Lenny sighed, looked at the smoking pipe, then he stood up, “Let’s go inside then.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The doctor never knew the Holy Father’s childhood was a painful story.

“I never know that you are an abandoned orphan, Holy Father. No wonder that smoking pipe means so much to you.”

“Yes, that is all I have. I’m about losing hope in finding my parents, but recently I received the missing piece, it came in a box without a note, there is no trace of it.” _Some sadness and pain are not easy to forget._

“It may not, Holy Father,” Valente said and told the Pope about the phone call he received this morning.

Lenny looked at him and puzzled, “They said that I’m expecting them?”

“Yes, Holy Father. I guess they might be the ones who sent the package. Should I meet them up and arrange the audience?” Valente asked.

“No. Please work with Sister Mary on this, she knows about my parents.”

There was hope in Lenny’s eyes.

His parents were still out there, somewhere.

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello and Caltanissetta when to visit Michael.

“I’m depressed, Angelo.” Michael was still in frustration, or he was suffering from an unknown illness.

“I don’t give a shit that you’re depressed, Michael.” Voiello was far more depressed, “Last night, I take care of a disabled boy. I was looking at him, he was drooling, and his eyes were blank, and I thought to myself: what is the Church doing for this boy? And the answer was simple: The Church is doing nothing.”

“Why?” Michael chuckled, “What was it doing before Pius XIII?”

“Are you depressed or suffering from amnesia, Michael? Before Pius XIII, the Church was taking care of the poor.” The Church was in a danger, and all the crazy things their young pope had done already drove Voiello insane.

“It was _also_ taking care of the poor.” For Michael, there was nothing change of the Church, it stayed the same.

“But there’s a bigger question. What is the Church doing on a more general basis? It’s not doing anything anymore.” Voiello was desperate, “It’s killing time! We have a Church, that’s just killing time and has become infinitely marginal.”

“That’s exactly what the Pope wants: A marginal Church. Small and dead.” Michael mocked, he knew what Lenny’s planning was.

Voiello looked puzzled, and of course, no one knows the Pope better than Michael.

Michael continued, “He said it and now he’s done it. He wants to take the Church back to its beginnings. In the beginning, all this was nothing more than Peter’s tomb.”

“For what purpose?” Voiello didn’t understand, what the Pope wanted to do was no good to the Church.

“To close himself off, to deny himself, to make himself inaccessible and mysterious. Sacrifice and suffering to get closer to God.” Michael explained further the Pope’s great plan, “In his convoluted logic, this strategy is supposed to stimulate the world’s curiosity and dedication so that everyone will want to come back to discover the mystery.”

“Fine!” Voiello sighed heavily, however, none of them happened according to the Pope’s plan. “The churches are empty. The mass with the Tridentine rite would discourage anyone. It is now harder to become a priest than it is to become an astronaut!”

“That’s all predictable, because the Pope is an idealist,” Michael said sarcastically.

Voiello was really frustrated, he rubbed his face, “The Pope is refusing to refinance the missions. Our non-relations with other religions are tense and dangerous. We’ve become few in number, alone, against the rest of the world. St. Peter’s Square is empty, dreary, and abandoned.”

“There is nothing we can do. He is the Pope! All we can do is doing what he asks to do.”

No one can against the Pope’s will.

“No, Michael, we have the duty to take steps.”

“How?”

Voiello walked to the window, “Michael, come see.”

Michael followed and looked out, he saw Lenny was outside, pushing a baby carriage down the Gardens, together with Esther and Peter.

“Since that child is born, our Holy Father becomes a babysitter.” Voiello turned towards Michael, “I know how to get him to resign, Michael.”

“And who would this new Pope be?” Caltanissetta asked, he was with an oxygen mask, and his health condition prevented him not from serving as the new pope.

Therefore, Voiello and Caltanissetta went to Michael. They both knelt, holding Michael’s hand, and kissed his ring.

A smile on Michael’s face, that brought him the hope of his fading dream: To become the Pope.

Michael prayed to God, to make his dream come true this time.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the death of Angelo Sanchez, Andrew was so lost, so depressed. He never knows what he should do, or where he should go.

_Maybe I should not accept the post of the Prefect of the Congregation of the Clergy._

He never wanted to be in the Vatican in the first place. He stayed was all because of Sister Mary, and Lenny needed him. However, no matter how hard Andrew had tried, he could not make Lenny see the disaster he was unleashing, he was abusing his power.

Andrew was suffering from overpowering feelings of guilt, he could not find the way out. He wanted to cut it out.

He was at his apartment, feeling helpless because he couldn’t know how to with cope it anymore. There was an invitation on the coffee table caught his eyes. It was from Contessa Emma Meraviglia, the wife of General Meraviglia, who sent him the invitation the other day.

_‘I will be hosting a party on Thursday at our villa. If you’re any loose end, please come, it would be an honour for us if you could come.’ said Madam Meraviglia._

_Today is Thursday._

Andrew needed a place to escape.

The party was great.

The people, the music, the food, the wine, all made him felt not that alone. He was in a crowd, but he emptiness of his heart was still hard to fill.

He was drunk, heavily drunk, hoped to forget everything.

“Having fun, Your Eminence?” General Meraviglia asked. “Don’t you agree it’s a crime that the cocktail culture is in decline?”

Andrew smiled at him, he was drunk, “Is it really such a bad thing?”

“I should say so.”

But Andrew didn’t pay attention to what the General said, he only picked up a few words like _the art of the cocktail, twenty-five, devote._

“I’m sorry.” He needed some air, “Can you excuse me just a moment?”

Andrew went to the bathroom, he wetted his face and looked at himself in the mirror. It was a sad face, he mumbled, “You’re a murderer.”

A sense of guilt was deeply embedded in Andrew’s conscience.

There was no way out.

He shook his head, and mocked, his world was started to crumble into pieces.

Suddenly, the bathroom opened and Madam Meraviglia walked in and locked the door behind.

“Did you come for me?” She started to undress.

Andrew looked shocked, “No, no! I came because I’ve never felt so alone and in despair in all my life. Angelo Sanchez is dead.”

“And I wanted to die when I first saw you. I was dying of desire.” Madam Meraviglia said passionately.

However, Andrew was suddenly burst into a laugh.

_This world is getting crazy._

Madam Meraviglia felt insulted, then she got the dress and walked out of the bathroom.

Andrew was sitting at the corner, still laughing.

Because he was too drunk, he blacked out afterwards.

When he came back, he found himself inside a car, and he was all wet and covered with a blanket. He didn’t remember how he got in the here and didn’t know why he got wet.

However, the most shocking was someone behind him, he yelled, “Who are you? What are you doing?”

It was a young man, and his hand was all over Andrew, “Ludovico Meraviglia. Don’t you remember, you fell into the pool to fetch your crucifix, I got you out.”

Andrew got into a panic, he didn’t want to be raped. He struggled to break free, “Get off me!”

He finally found the door handle, unlocked it, and fell out of the car.

The young Meraviglia flew into a rage, he got off the car and threw out all Andrew’s belongings, left him on the street and drove away.

~ ~ ~ ~

After an in-depth background check, Sister Mary brought Lenny the good news that they might possibly found his long-lost parents.

Since then, he was restless and full of anticipation to see his parents again. Finally, the day, which he had waited for forty years, had come.

“When will they be here?” He asked nervously, his hand was clenching the smoking pipe.

“Soon. They’re clearing immigration and passport control.” Sister Mary said gently, and gave Lenny a warm smile, “Why don’t you help the time pass by doing a little work?”

Lenny nodded, then walked back to his desk.

Few documents were there already.

He put the smoking pipe on the table and kept looking at it, and his mother’s face kept flashing in his mind. At the same time, Voiello passed him a pen.

Lenny was so distracted, he took the pen and hastily signed it, without reading it at all. And then he signed the other one as well.

Voiello passed him the third one, Lenny ignored it and staring at the smoking pipe, he was thinking of his parents.

“They’re here, Holy Father,” Valente said.

“Show them in.” _This is it._ Lenny exhaled softly, dropped the pen, and grabbed the smoking pipe in hand, took a breath, left his desk, and waited for his parents to come.

Then he saw a couple walked into the office.

_Here they are._

No greetings at all, they both stood in the middle of the office.

Lenny studied his parent. They both looked over seventy, in grey white hairs. His father, kept with short hair and combed all back, well-polished. He was thin and tall, even taller than Lenny. His mother, round face with glasses, shorter than he expected. She kept a jaw-length short hair, light make-up, and they both looked so tense.

 _Are they nervous just like me?_ Lenny chewed his lower lip.

And they both wore in a black suit.

_Suit? How come they wear suits? And the short hair… They are hippie, they should be in long hair and most women dressed in lossy dresses and most men are morphed into peasant blouses and jeans._

_They should not be like that, or they dressed up for the occasion? Because I am the Pope?_

Anyway, this was the moment Lenny waited for his whole life. With the smoking pipe in his hand, he stepped forwards, hands behind his back, facing his father, “Did you send me a gift?”

“Yes.” the man answered with a nod.

“What did you send me?”

“The piece of the pipe you were missing.” His eyes looked away, “The piece I gave you before I left you.”

 _He remembered. My father remembered the day they left me at the orphanage._ There was hope in his voice, “How did you know I lost it?”

“From time to time I’d call the orphanage where you were growing up, and they told me that you always kept a piece of the pipe with you, but that you were missing the other piece.”

 _Did he call to the orphanage? That makes no sense! If they checked up on me from time to time, why don’t they come to take me home?_ Lenny shook his head slightly and asked in a raspy voice, “How did you find that piece? I had already lost it after you left me at the orphanage.”

“Because one day, I was in a shop in Venice, and I happened to find the same pipe, so I bought it.” The man said, and shown Lenny the other piece of the smoking pipe, “And I sent you the piece of it that you had lost.”

“All right.” Lenny was holding his breath, “Now neither of you move.”

He was pacing between his parents, and then walked towards his mother, took a closer look, then leaning forward, he sniffed along her neckline.

He inhaled deeply. _That’s a bit off._

Inhaled again. _It seems not quite right._

And again. _No._

“It’s not them!” Lenny turned around sharply, distanced himself from them and breathing heavily, his voice was full of sadness and disappointment, “Valente, expel these impostors from _my home_ , immediately.”

Voiello never believes that the Pope could identify his parents in such way. He felt sorry for the Pope, he saw him walked back to the desk in a heavy step, his hands on the edge, trembling, and pressing his lips together with his eyes closed.

Tears, rolling down from Lenny’s eyes, he was heartbroken.

_Lord, why do they do this to me? Who, do this to me?_

It was not a happy ending.

It never will be.

~ ~ ~ ~

After Angelo Sanchez’s death, Andrew felt his world was falling apart. He lost his faith, he really didn’t know what he should believe.

He met up with Lenny at the terrace of St. Peter’s Basilica, he asked his best friend in a sad voice, “Who are you, Lenny?”

“I’m an orphan.” Lenny could tell Andrew that he was upset, “Just like you.”

“When you gonna grow up?” Andrew tried to hold up his anger.

“Never. A priest never grows up because he can never become a father. He’ll always be a son.” Even Lenny, like the Pope, was being called Holy Father, however, he was still Servant of Servants of God, he would never father a child, and the Church would be his family. “That is why we imposed a vow of celibacy on ourselves thirteen centuries ago because we must always be the sons of God, never dare try to take His place.”

God, would be the only Father they have.

Andrew knew he was at the edge, his eyes were full of sadness and guilt. “Do you know why I wanted to meet you up here?”

“No, why?”

“Because this is where that young Spaniard, Angelo Sanchez, jumped from. He wanted to be a priest and we thwarted him. I, thwarted him. And now he’s dead.” Andrew’s heart was broken, the young man’s death was all his fault. He should stand up and fight with his best friend.

“Lucky him.” _May Lord bless his soul._ “He’s going to speak with God. Unlike us, he’s finally going to find out the way things stand.”

Lenny’s word was like a blade, stabbing into Andrew’s heart. “What has become of your pity? Have you never experienced pity? I can’t take it anymore, Lenny. I wanna go home, I wanna go back to Honduras.”

Lenny was gazing at Andrew, he could tell his best friend was suffering from the guilt, but all he had done, was for the Church’s own good. The only thing Andrew needed, was to collect himself and stayed strong. “If you give up now, now that you’re faced with the burden of responsibility and your guilty conscience. When will you ever grow up? When?”

Andrew was transfixed, all of a sudden, Lenny became a person he didn’t understand. There was a wedge between them, Andrew knew there was no point to discuss with Lenny anymore. He didn’t know how to get over it.

He must go.

Racked by guilt, without a goodbye, he left his resignation to the Pope and a note to Sister Mary, he packed and went back to Honduras.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Who is betraying me?” Lenny was sitting outside the confessional booth, he asked Tommaso about the drama yesterday, “Who is sending actors to my home, palming them off as my long-lost parents? Who? Voiello, Spencer? Tell me, Tommaso.”

“No,” Tommaso said.

“ _No?_ What?” Lenny needed information, he wanted to know who was behind this, desperately.

“No, I won’t tell you anything else.”

“Why not?” Lenny exhaled, tried to figure out why.

“Because I’m stupid.” Tommaso chuckled, “It’s true, but not that stupid.”

“Do you resent me for not having made you a cardinal yet?” Lenny tilted his head and sigh.

“Yes. At first, I thought that was the reason I wouldn’t confide in you again.”

“You’ll assume the purple at the next consistory.” _He is upset about me._

“It doesn’t matter. Because then I identified another reason, I won’t ever tell you anything again.”

“Why?”

“You don’t believe in God, Holy Father.” Tommaso looked at the Pope through the panel of the confessional booth, “You don’t believe in God.”

Tommaso waited, waited for His Holiness’ explanation.

Lenny, sitting still, with his fingers interlaced and rested on his knees, “What do you mean _‘I don’t believe in God’_? About His existence? His grace? Or His mercy? Do not accuse me of my devotion to God, Tommaso, _I_ do believe in God! However, is it really a bad thing that I have doubt as well?”

Tommaso looked at the Pope, speechless.

“You have all the rights to upset about me for not making you a cardinal, you thought I broke the promise, but you should know I need Gutierrez for the Kurtwell case. You know about the case, don’t you?”

“Yes, Holy Father.” Now Tommaso knew why he was not appointed, and he was all wrong about the Pope.

Lenny exhaled, he said sincerely, “I intended to keep the promise, trust me.”

Then he said no more, he stood up and left the confessional.

~ ~ ~ ~

Baby Pius was truly a miracle child.

Lenny found that he had a special bond with him, after the fake parents’ visit, he spent a lot more time in Esther and Peter’s place, just for holding baby Pius in his arms.

And he also made the invisible pope willing to take a picture.

In Esther and Peter’s home, there was a photo of the Pius XIII and baby Pius hanging on the wall.

This little guy triggered Lenny’s father's side, a side that Lenny thought he would never have, as he was unable to father a child.

Lenny found himself was able to love someone too.

For once, he said he chose to love God because it was too painful to love human beings.

It turned out that he was wrong.

It was so beautiful to love.

When Lenny finished changing baby Pius’s diaper, Lenny smiled at him genuinely and kissed him. It was amazing to holding him tight.

Lenny back to the living room with a fresh and happy baby Pius, Peter, and Esther both were looking at him.

“Holy Father,” Peter rubbed his hand nervously, “Esther and I would like to ask for a favour.”

“What can I do for you both?” Lenny asked.

“It is about Pius’s baptism.”

“Of course, that can be arranged,” Lenny said happily, Esther was looking forward to her own child’s baptism for so long. However, he noticed they both still got something to say, “Is there something else?”

“Esther and I would like to ask Holy Father you to be Pius’ godfather too,” Peter said.

And Esther, her eyes were full of anticipation, “Without you, Holy Father, I can’t mother a child. Please, that means a lot to us, and Pius too.”

That was something truly unexpected. Lenny looked at Esther and Peter, with a broad smile, “As the Pope, I don’t know if I am allowed, but it is definitely an honour.”

Lenny looked down, baby Pius was giggling, liked that he was happy to have Lenny as his godfather too.

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello was having dinner with the Pope at the Apostolic Palace.

Sister Bice was serving them.

“Holy Father, the other day I was reflecting on the fact that we have a common view on the management of the Tonino Pettola case.”

Lenny took his plate and swapped with Voiello’s, with a thin smile, he said, “You can never be too careful.”

“Are you afraid of being poisoned, Your Holiness?” Voiello found the Pope was getting paranoid.

“Among other things.” Lenny back to his seat.

“These are practices that have fallen out of use even in the Vatican, Your Holiness.”

It was not Lenny worried about, there was only one thing he could not forgive. He was interlocking his fingers, rested on the table, gazing through his half-lidded eyes, “So, _who_ organized that ridiculous masquerade with the fake parents?”

 _Oh._ Voiello looked into the Pope's eyes, “Not me, Your Holiness. I’d find it offensive if you thought I was behind that. My methods are far more sophisticated.”

“I have to give you that.” Lenny gave him a half-smile, _it must not be him, he may know that I am an orphan, but he does not know that seeing my parents means a lot to me. It must be somebody else._ “Who then?”

“I don’t know.” Voiello wished he knew because it was truly unacceptable to play with someone’s feelings. “Believe me, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that they were a couple of the kind of lunatics who crawl out of the woodwork, and that our screeners allowed themselves to be taken in. Holy Father, I swear to God there is no conspiracy against you. Only a great deal of sincere concern.”

Lenny could tell that this time Voiello was not the one, as he said, he would do it in a more sophisticated way. However, there must be something else.

“What did you have me sign the other day?” Lenny asked and started to dig in.

“Just a simplified procedure for ordaining new priests.”

“And why did you have me sign it without talking to me about it first?”

This was the standard procedure, and each document must be briefed before being signed by the Pope.

Clearly, someone skipped an important step intentionally.

“I had the documents delivered to you the night before, I assumed you had read them,” Voiello explained.

“No. That’s not what happened.” Lenny might be distracted recently, but he did remember he never received any documents the night before. He put on a straight face, “You knew my head would be in the clouds, and you had me hastily sign those documents that were completely opposed in their intent to the direction I am advocating.”

“No, that’s not right.” Voiello denied, “I wanted you to sign the decree simplifying the procedure for ordaining new priests because the press is attacking us. They’re calling us murderers. That with our shortsightedness, we killed young Angelo Sanchez.”

“What do you think? Did we kill him?”

“Do you want the truth?”

“Yes, I want the truth.” Lenny needed to know what he thought.

“No, Holy Father. We didn’t kill him. You killed him.”

That was a serious accusation.

“Was it because of my new regulations that cause the young man not to qualify for the priesthood so that he committed suicide?”

Lenny put down the fork, and sat back a little, “Yes, he was rejected, but only for now. He was just 19 years old, and he had been told clearly that he could try again after seven years. The Church doesn’t cast him away.

“Sexual disturbance is a psychological problem that can deeply affect one's behaviour. Do you see how many boys and girls suffer as a result? We are priests, the faithful trust us, but some of us abuse it for his own benefit. You can say I am cruel and even have homophobia, but I am not! I am the Pope, it is my obligation to protect all children and the Church. Can you call me wrong? What I am doing is to ensure that no more children suffer and there are no more sexual scandals. We don’t want another Kurtwell!”

Voiello was stunned, he was all wrong about the Pope.

It was the first time the Pope elaborated on his action. That made Voiello learnt more about Pope Pius XIII: he was not a rash, immature, ruthless pope, on the contrary, he was a pope with vision, ambition, and courage, that his predecessors didn’t have.

Besides, after all these, it was no way he could make the Pope signed his own resignation.

“Also, do you know I sent my condolence to Angelo Sanchez’s family privately, Your Eminence?”

~ ~ ~ ~

After the dinner with Voiello, Lenny was highly suspicious that his resignation was within that pile of documents, but he was lucky that he didn’t sign that particular one. Otherwise, he was already forced to step down.

O _nly two of them can orchestrate that ‘Meet the parents’ scene, and there was only one way to find out._ Lenny sighed.

When Lenny walked into his office, Valente reported, “Holy Father, Cardinal Dussolier had left the Vatican.”

“What? When?” Lenny was shocked, he couldn’t believe Andrew just ran away. He thought he had talked him out yesterday.

“Early this morning, Holy Father, and here is his resignation.” Valente handed him a folder.

It was Andrew’s resignation from his position of the Prefect of the Congregation of the Clergy, together, there was a letter.

Lenny read it and he was very upset. It was a letter of confession.

He did not want to lose his best friend.

_Silly Andrew! It is no use to hide from your guilt. Go back to Honduras will only let the guilt trues into a burden, it will eat you up inside._

You can’t escape yourself.

He just hoped Andrew could see the truth and came back to face the reality so that he could overcome it.

Once he finished with the arrangement of Andrew’s absence from work, he went to Michael’s place.

They were outside and having a sunbathing time, smoking.

“It’s time to speak the truth: _Pius XIII is a total failure_ ,” Lenny said, like he was giving up.

Michael just looked at him, without saying a word.

“I’m gonna resign, Michael. It’s the only thing left to do.”

Michael remained silent.

Lenny smiled. _It’s not him too. Then, only one left._

When Lenny left, Michael dressed in his scarlet robe, facing the mirror, imaging he was at the Basilica’s balcony, greeting the faithful.

Because, once Lenny resigned, he would be the next pope.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny asked Sister Mary to join him at the terrace of the Basilica, they were sitting next to each other, the Sun was setting.

“God has been evicted.” Lenny said, frowning and sighed, “I’m going to hand in my resignation. My papacy is a failure.”

“Never say that again, Lenny.” Sister Mary looked at Lenny’s eyes, “You will be a great Pope. The most beloved Pope of them all. You’ve healed the sick. You’ve made a hopelessly sterile woman pregnant. You _are_ a saint. A beautiful saint.”

Sister Mary had a belief that Lenny was the sweet Christ come back to earth.

_So, it’s her._

“Thank you,” Lenny said softly.

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you for what you did for me the other day.” He tilted his head and smiled at Sister Mary.

“What did I do for you?” She was getting nervous, _did he find out?_

“It was wonderful! That was the loveliest moment of my life, to believe for a fleeting instant that I had found them again.” Lenny held Sister Mary’s hand, his eyes were full of sadness, “For just one moment, I felt like I’d come home.”

 _He knows it was me._ Sister Mary placed her other hand over Lenny’s and squeezed it.

“You always tell me that I should cut it out.” Lenny was looking at the sunset, “Maybe it’s the time because I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

However, it was not that easy to let go.

~ ~ ~ ~

Life seemed back to normal. Only there was still no news from Andrew.

When Lenny was wandering in the Gardens, the nuns were busy with their work. He was thinking of Andrew.

_He should have arrived Honduras, may Lord give him some time to think and come back soon._

Suddenly, a strange feeling slipped into his mind.

It was not a good feeling. Something happened. Something really bad.

Lenny looked around and saw Valente was rushing towards him.

“Holy Father,” Valente was panting, “Cardinal Dussolier, he…he…”

“Is he back?” Lenny could tell from Valente’s face. Something went wrong.

“No, Holy Father.”

“What happened to him?” Lenny prayed, _he needed to be okay._

“We just got a message from the Bishop of Pedro Sula, he said…” Valente still hesitated.

“What? Tell me!” Lenny ordered, he was getting worried now.

“Monsignor Aguero said the police found Cardinal Dussolier’s body…I’m sorry Holy Father.” Valente looked away.

“Body?” Lenny felt he was going to faint, Valente grabbed his arms to hold him. “How could he die?”

“The police said he was robbed, as most of his belongings have gone. The robber stabbed him and dumped the body into the wild. When he was found, it was too late, he died of excessive blood loss.”

“I want him back,” Lenny couldn’t believe he lost his best friend forever, “I want him home.”

“Yes, Holy Father, we will bring Cardinal Dussolier home.”


	9. VIII. For the Love of God

Facing your loved one’s death is never easy. It’s always the hardest time of your life. The loss, the pain, and the grief, everyone handled them very differently.

Andrew’s tragic death hit Lenny and Sister Mary hard. So, they went to the Papal Palace of Castel Gandolfo for the vocation retreat.

Sister Mary, she cried her eyes out for grieving Andrew.

Like most people do.

But Lenny, was not.

_Don’t go chasing the dead, or else the dead will chase after you._

He told Sister Suree before. And now, his heart was hurting, which was even worse than he got abandon by his parents, it was just like he got stab right into his heart, the sharpest pain reminding him Andrew is gone.

He dived himself at the bottom of the swimming pool, he knelt and prayed to God, “Lord Almighty, now that You have our beloved Dussolier in Your arms. I pray to You, remind him of that afternoon when we ran away together from the orphanage.

“Remind him of the fear and freedom we felt on that rainy afternoon. And reassure him, there’s nothing wrong, freedom and fear are always together, like an old married couple, each willing to die for the other.

“Remind him of Sister Mary at age twenty, her hair flowing and blonde and drenched in sunlight as she ran and sank baskets.

“Remind him of that indelible, archaic picture of beauty that so stirred us, in silence. Now I know very well that neither he nor I will ever forget that picture.

“Remind him, Lord Almighty, of all our endless late-night conversations, in that big one-room dormitory, under the blankets, how we whispered in secret about our one and only, the inexhaustible topic of discussion: Our future. We were children then, and that’s what children do: they paint the future in colors that reality can never know.

“Remind him not to grieve over all our shattered dreams. We wanted to live the lives of the great baseball player, the elderly gas station attendant on the county road, the heroic soldier, the lowlife New York musician, the fireman, the blue-water sailor.

“Remind him not to weep when he remembers that instead, we lived only the simple, drab life of the priest, such a strange life, a life of hope and prayer that You, Lord Almighty, really do exist and might think about us.”

Lenny emerged and said, “Amen.”

It was his memory of Andrew. The sky was so blue, and Andrew was with God, in His good hands.

_Don’t go chasing the dead._

He retreated to a small chapel, with the rosary in his hand, and prayed. “Sancta Maria, mater Dei, ego omnia tibi debeo, sed ab hac hora singulariter me tuis servitiis devoveo. Te patronam, te sospitatricem eligo. Tuus honor et cultus aeternum mihi cordi fuerit, quem ego nunquam deseram neque ab aliis mihi subditis verbo factoque violari patiar. Sancta Maria, tu pia me pedibus tuis advolutum recipe, in vita protege, in mortis discrimine defende. Amen.” _(Latin:_ _Holy Mary, Mother of God, I owe all to you, and from this hour I devote myself only to your service. You as a protector, you as a preserver I choose. Your worship and honour will be eternally in my heart, which I shall never desert nor submit, from others liable to me, to it being violated by deed and by word. Holy Mary, pious, receive me, begging at your feet, in life protect me, defend me from the risk of death. Amen. **Written by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, an act of Consecration to Blessed Virgin Mary in F major, K.273, 9 th September, 1777.)_

Lenny was praying a lot, for Andrew’s soul and himself, however, losing Andrew was hurting, the sorrow and regret were not that easy to overcome.

He was playing tennis against the wall, trying to let out his emotions, besides the pain, there was an unknown emotion was eating him. He wanted it out, so he hit the ball harder and harder, finally the ball flew away and hit the window. And that was liked something in his heart was snapped, he smashed the racker.

He went back to the chapel and prayed again, seeking reassurance and peace from God. All he wanted was to let _that_ unfamiliar emotion out of his body.

Also, he had done everything Dr. Lindegard suggests – swimming, exercising, a healthy diet, but he still couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking of Andrew.

Even smoking couldn’t cast away that loneliness, and the tiredness was weighted tones over his shoulders.

Maybe it would be a good idea to do some work, as a distraction.

The Prefect of the Congregation of the Causes of the Saints came to meet the Pope. They were having a walked and discussed about the Canonization of Blessed Juana.

“Your Eminence, tell me about the Blessed Juana,” Lenny asked Cardinal Marivaux.

“She is revered in Guatemala and across all of Central America.” Cardinal Marivaux had been visited Guatemala to conduct the investigation of Blessed Juana for months, “She died at the age of eighteen and, of leukemia and on her deathbed, she said: _‘All the world will be infatuated with me because all my life I have been infatuated with the world.’_ ”

“What did the Blessed Juana do to deserve Canonization?”

“Well, she cared for sick children in the hospitals and, in order to alleviate their suffering, she would tell them fairytales that she thought up herself, very amusing ones, apparently, and always with the same protagonist, the Madonna.”

Lenny found that Juana’s stories were interesting, “I like this, go on.”

The Cardinal continued those wonderful fairytales, “She gave more than a smile to the sick children. Many of these children, just a few days after listening to Juana’s fairytales, recovered from terminal illnesses. And they recovered with a smile on their face. All of the cured children, when they were asked whether they had any idea of why they felt better and were healed, gave the same answer: _‘The Madonna made us laugh.’_ ”

“That’s a wonderful story, Your Eminence.” Lenny said with a reserved smile, “Beautiful, if only it were true.”

“But Holy Father, this wonderful story is true.” Cardinal Marivaux said sincerely.

“All right, let me think about it. I’ll let you know my answer soon.” Lenny lifted his eyebrows, hands behind his back, then he turned around and asked Cardinal Marivaux, “Tell me about your Calling.”

“My Calling, Holy Father?” Cardinal Marivaux smiled mildly, “It was nothing particular, when I was fourteen, one day after lunch, I was with my friends at the school courtyard. I turned around and saw Father Giovanni, he was one of the school religious education teachers. He was reading the Bible, he looked so calm, when he looked at me and smiled at me, then there was a breeze, at that exact moment, I sensed it, it’s the Holy Spirit calling for me. Since then, I studied with Father Giovanni, and I went to the seminary after I finished school.”

Lenny looked up to the sky, then looked back at Cardinal Marivaux, with a smile on his face, “You sensed the Holy Spirit. That’s wonderful.”

~ ~ ~ ~

No one would doubt that Pope Pius XIII was a conservative pope, and he was holding certain values that were rather Medieval. He was a dogmatist, and there was a conflict between the Pope and the Curia about abortion.

Before Lenny left the Vatican, his mentor Michael and him debating abortion at the Sistine Chapel.

“God isn’t for you Lenny, it’s for men who have no use for freedom.” Michael wanted Lenny to realize that he was wrong about abortion, and he was spreading a sorrow that he didn’t even understand. Once introducing the concepts that taken by themselves were true, when they lumped together, the whole system would get overly rigid.

Together, to push such an order was the worst thing to do and should be avoided this at all costs.

Michael was trying to change Lenny’s mind.

Lenny, sitting on the steps in front of the altar, facing Michael. He was holding a very different perspective, “On the Book of Exodus _21:22-25_ said: _‘When men have a fight and injured a pregnant woman and she suffers a miscarriage, but no further injury, the guilty one shall be fined as much as the woman’s husband demands and he shall pay in the presence of the judges, But if injury ensues, you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.’_

“When it comes to abortion, rigidity is the only option: There’s no getting around it. It’s in the Bible. It’s a crime, should be forbidden and punished. It’s only modern laxity that wishes to turn sins into rights.”

There was no way for Lenny to compromise on this matter, especially the Church must maintain this tradition.

Michael won’t give up that easily, “Oh, come on Lenny, you should know better than anyone that the Bible verses are a little more complicated than that, that the litigant pays damages in case of an abortion or suffers death if the woman dies in the course of losing the baby, but that’s not what it is about. This is about compassion, empathy.”

“Bouvier? Are you seriously going to waste my time with the Bouvier’s nonsense? Post-revolutionary France? Or the bullshit of St. Alphonsus?” Lenny really wanted to stop this argument, he stood up and went towards Michael.

“It isn’t bullshit, Lenny. Abortion is a ‘grave moral disorder’ is not open for debate, and that’s what St. John Paul II said, those three words, _grave, moral and disorder_ are based on papal infallibility. And yet, in 1591, Pope Gregory XIV, with the Sedes Apostolica bull restricted excommunication to the abortion of an ensouled fetus, introducing a distinction that argues against lumping together disparate situations. Even for St. Thomas Aquinas, and right up until the middle of the nineteenth century, abortion was set to take place only after the ensoulment of the fetus, and that occurs in the third month of pregnancy.”

“I’m sick and tired of distinctions.” For Lenny, there is no grey area, and there is no difference before or after the third-month pregnancy, abortion is abortion. Nothing can justify the action. “Science is the gift of God and God taught us that ovulation is spontaneous.”

Seemed this argument would never end, Michael pleaded, “I implore you, Lenny, reconsider your position on abortion. Tough in principle, soft in practice.”

“Sex is for procreation. Abortion is saying _No_ to life.” Lenny was persisted with his perspective. “Life is life! And every single child is a gift from God! If that life needs to be taken away, then only God can! Not me! Not you! Not the doctors! Not even the mother herself!”

“Who gives a damn about life?” Michael was very frustrated, sometimes Lenny’s strong-willed mind was really difficult to work with, he looked at Lenny, full of sincerity, “Life is not some stupid centerpiece on the side table of nothingness. Life is meant to be used, and to be used well, to love and be loved. Think about the women who become pregnant because of rape, it was a tragedy already, would it be a sin if they chose to have an abortion? Or, you, rather they abandoned their children after they give birth due to the excommunication order. And let me remind you what St. Alphonsus said about abortion: _‘In an abortion, everyone is guilty, except for the woman.’_ ”

“And what if that wasn’t only true of abortion? What if in the things of life everyone is guilty, except for the woman?” Lenny pressed his lips with a critical look.

“Are you talking about your mother?” Michael asked and sighed internally. _All because of his tragic childhood that everyone suffered._

“Who else could I be talking about?” Lenny gave a sad smile and leaving the Sistine Chapel.

“Be mercy, Lenny. Be mercy. Free yourself and move on.” Michael called.

However, no matter how hard Michael had tried, Pope Pius XIII announced a new excommunication order regarding abortion.

And that brought a concern for Sister Mary, “Holy Father, the announcement of your orders making abortion unforgivable has unleashed the Femen and they’re protesting everywhere. Beneath the Eiffel Tower, in the European parliament, even in St. Peter’s Square.”

Protesting was no use to Lenny, even they invaded the Garden here. He already used to be hated, so had another was no different. “I don’t want to talk about people who strip naked in order to protest against something.”

Lenny became quiet again, his eyes were gazing far away. After days of retreat, he was getting to sink in the news: the loss of his best friend.

_Run from it or run at it._

Lenny realized he had to live with the loss, including the sadness, the pain, and the guilt.

“The death of Andrew,” Sister Mary sighed, she sensed Lenny’s sadness, “you weren’t to blame.”

“Oh, yes.” Lenny tilted down his head, feeling regret for the last words he said to Andrew, “I was.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The summer heat in Rome was almost unbearable, that’s the reason why the Pope has a summer residence.

It was a hot day today, was much hotter than a New York summer, or a beach day at California. Lenny was sunbathing by the swimming pool, smoking.

He spotted an aeroplane when he looked up to the sky and said, “Valente.”

“Holy Father.”

“Where do they go, the aeroplanes we never take?” Lenny sighed and took a smoke. He was not a traveller. _Why do people love holidays? Flying here and there is really that fun?_

“I always wonder the same thing, every time I see one.” Valente was curious too. “I always think that they go to places I’ve never been.”

“They go somewhere else.” Lenny would never know where they were going, but the sore of his body, his mind, and his soul was too much for him. He sighed and took off his hat, complained to Valente, “I am so tired.”

And then he saw _his_ helicopter flew over.

Finally, someone had come to ease his boredom.

Who was he expecting?

Sofia Dubois.

“Here I am, Holy Father.” Sofia dressed smartly, as usual, walked in with a cheerful smile on her face, greeting the Pope by kissing the ring.

“Make yourself comfortable.” Lenny was listless and gestured Sofia to take the seat. “Did you have a good trip?”

Sofia took the seat, crossed her legs, and happily said, “Oh, I just love helicopters. They make me feel like I’m having an adventure.”

“Young people like you love adventures.” Lenny sighed and staring afar.

“Holy Father, may I remind you that we’re the same age?” Sofia wondered.

“We used to be the same age.” However, things happened recently made Lenny felt like he was sixty.

“I was so surprised and happy to hear that you wanted to see me.” Sofia was teasing the Pope.

“I too was surprised to learn that I needed to see you.” Lenny slightly smiled at Sofia, pushed himself off from the chair and walked across the room.

“Oh, not _wanted_ , but _needed_.” Sofia took it as a compliment, bright smile on her face, “Better weigh your words carefully, Holy Father.”

She followed the Pope and sat next to him on the sofa.

“I’m really tired, you know that?” Tired was not enough to describe how Lenny felt, this unfamiliar feeling he had never experienced.

“If you will allow me, Holy Father, you’re not tired. You’re grieving and struggling with guilt over the death of your closest friend, Cardinal Dussolier.”

Lenny was surprised that she might be right, he was grieving, an emotion that he didn’t know how to handle.

“What did you want to talk to me about, Holy Father?”

Lenny stood by the window, gazed at his cigarette, looked very downcast, “What are we doing wrong?”

“Oh, it’s very simple. We’ve failed to follow the eternal, unchanging principle of the carrot and the stick.” She was giving advice as a proper PR and Marketing Director, “The carrot and the stick. We brought the stick but forgot the carrot.”

“What do you mean by carrot?” Lenny narrowed his eyes, as Sofia was hinted that he should do something that he was never prepared to do.

“An opening,” she said.

“What do you mean by an opening?” he asked skeptically.

“A speech about love and a pastoral voyage.”

 _Of course, she has been telling me to be in the public since the first day._ He took a smoke, exhaled, “I don’t like to travel, and you know perfectly well that I don’t like to be seen.”

“I never said that you have to let yourself be seen.” Sofia shrugged her shoulders, looking at the Pope’s back, “As for travelling: Everyone dislikes traveling until they actually go on a trip. Eventually, they like it, don’t they?”

 _I wonder I will be one of them._ Lenny turned around, his eyebrows were knitted, “Where are you thinking of dragging me?”

“To Africa,” Sofia suggested.

“For what?” Lenny was pacing back and forth.

“To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the foundation of Sister Antonia’s first Village of Goodness, the first of the 250 villages of goodness, and the largest multinational of charity.”

Sofia thought that would be a great place to start the Pope’s first pastoral voyage, “Sister Antonia calls my office an average of fourteen times a day to repeat her invitation. She’d gladly saw off one of her arms to get you to come.”

“Well, you just tell her to get to sawing, and then I’ll be around sooner or later,” Lenny said sarcastically.

“So, what do you say?” Sofia was hoping the best, her eyes following the Pope as he walked back and sitting opposite to her.

“I’m not particularly fond of Sister Antonia and what’s more, several cardinals have told me she has a close and friendly relationship with halitosis.” It sounded like an excuse. But he didn’t think that would be the right idea to settle the problems they have, besides, he really was not a fan of travel. He shook his head, “No.”

“As you wish, Holy Father.” Sofia nodded with an understanding smile.

“What I really wish is to go back to Rome. I’m not a man who’s comfortable on vacation.”

“All intelligent men are uncomfortable on vacation.” Sofia thought the Pope needed to change the mood, and she got an idea, “By the way, something that may possibly cheer you up: Elmore Coen, your favourite author, is on vacation in Rome. He stated in an interview with the press that he’d like to meet you. Will you grant him an audience?”

“I’ve always wanted to meet Elmore Coen,” Lenny’s eyes lit up, “all right, it’s time to go home.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The helicopter trip back to the Vatican was nice, only Lenny wasn’t enjoying much. He looked exhausted when he hopped off the helicopter. Once he set foot at the Heliport, the awkward silence drew his attention, it used to be full of children’s joyful laughs and giggles.

He looked around and there was no sign of the children, “What…became of the roller-skating children?”

Later that day, Lenny knew why the Heliport was being so quiet. He stopped by to visit Esther and Peter, as he missed little Pius. However, when he got there, it’s dark and with light-out.

That was unusual because it was not dinner yet, and they should be home.

Then Lenny found that the door was unlocked. He walked inside and there was an empty kitchen, all the cupboards, shelves, closets, beds, were all empty.

It was an empty house.

_They left._

Lenny was shocked.

He just left the Vatican for a couple of days, and they moved out.

When he looked around, trying to look for a clue. There was nothing except the photo – a photo with baby Pius in his arms, still hanging on the wall.

_They packed everything except the photo. Why?_

He didn’t get it, what made them leave in a rush?

_Do they know the Baptism for little Pius has been arranged? And I am more than ready to become a godfather too…why they left without a word?_

_Just…just like my parents… No, no, no._ Lenny quickly dropped the idea. _They must have a reason to leave, and it may not because of me, everyone here knows they mean a lot to me._

No one would mistreat them. Lenny could sure about that.

He was gazing at the photo and sighed deeply, then he took the photo and had one last look of the apartment. Then he went back to the Palace.

~ ~ ~ ~

A lovely and present afternoon, which was perfect for the audience with Lenny’s favourite author, Elmore Coen. They were both delighted to meet with each other at the Gardens.

“I’ve loved all your books, Mr. Coen.” Lenny had the entire collection of the author’s works, “It’s an immense honour for me to meet you.”

“No, the honour is mine.” Mr. Coen was flattered, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Your Holiness. After all, you’re the Pope.”

“Let’s go for a walk, we have nice gardens here.” Lenny led the way to the French Garden. “I had heard that you wanted to meet me too.”

“How could I not?!” the author walked along next to the Pope, “You are the most mysterious man of these first few decades of the century. What writer wouldn’t want to meet you?”

“You writers are all so obsessed with mystery.” Lenny smiled slightly.

“You, men of the cloth, don’t kid around, either.” Mr. Coen could tell the Pope was with a strong personality.

“Writers and men of the cloth are the same in that way. They can’t afford to solve the mystery because the next day they’d become irrelevant.” Some questions, only God has the answers. However, most men would like to waste time and effort to find those answers.

“Writing is the one way I’ve found of concealing my boundless ignorance. It’s a fraud, really, the way of gaining acceptance from the world and especially from women, who are my one and only real interest.” Suddenly, the author’s smile slipped away, “Oh, forgive me, I’ve been inappropriate.”

“Not at all.” Lenny didn’t find that was inappropriate, “Laymen always think we priests are scandalized by even the slightest things, whereas the truth is the exact opposite. We are never scandalized, no profession has to deal with sin on such a continual basis as ours. The confessional is our operating room. Just as surgeons have no fear of blood, so we priests are no longer afraid of scandal and sin.”

They were passing a group of nuns where they are enjoying their leisure time, Mr. Coen took glanced and asked the Pope, “So how do you survive without women, Your Holiness?”

“An easy answer.” Lenny didn’t feel offended, his eyes beamed with wisdom, “The foolish ones go with women on the sly. The wise ones long ago understood the degree to which sex, as a source of pleasure, has overvalued in our society.”

“Your Holiness, with a few words you have just razed to the ground three-quarters of my literary production. I’ve almost always written about sex as the motor that drives the world.” The author mocked to himself.

“And you were right.” Lenny agreed, and that was one of the reasons he appreciated the author’s works. “But you don’t write about motors that purr, you write about motors that break down continuously. And they should have given you a Nobel Prize for it, 20 years ago.”

“Ah, it’s true. Unfortunately, they’ve gotten into the habit of giving it only to those who don’t want it.” However, the author very curious about the Pope, “Have you ever had a girlfriend, Your Holiness?”

“Certainly!” That was not a big secret, Lenny no needs to hide about it. Also, all priests before they took their vows, they all just an ordinary man. “I’ve only have had one and I remember everything about her. Whereas you, Mr. Coen, have probably had thousands and don’t remember a thing about them.”

“I only remember certain perverse and lustful details.” The author had to admit that maybe the most comment mistake of men.

“If you remember those, that’s probably because we’re continuing lecturing you about how wrong it is to remember them.” Lenny laughed, and he was happy that he spent the afternoon with his favourite author.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny heard from Valente that Michael was sick, therefore he came over to visit him. When he arrived, he saw Michael was in a wheelchair with the IV on the arm. “How do you feel?” Lenny asked.

“Sick.” Michael sighed, his voice was raspy and weak. “They’ve found something wrong with me, but they’re not sure what it is.”

“Perhaps God has entered you,” Lenny concluded.

“The more than likely it’s the devil. Are you going to resign?” Michael was not giving up, he still hoping that one day he will be the Pope.

“No, I’m not going to resign.” His resignation was only a smoke gun for him to find out who behind that drama.

“That only makes me feel worse.” Michael was disappointed, he realized that his dream would never come true.

“You’re never going to be pope, Michael. Get used to it. I’m the Pope and I’m going to remain pope until the day I die. Because I’m curious to see how it all turns out.” Lenny chose to face his destiny that God prepared for him.

“You don’t believe in God.”

“What did you say?” Lenny narrowed his eyes, getting upset. _Why everyone doubts my devotion to God? Is it really that bad I have questions about God?_

“I _said_ you don’t believe in God.” Michael emphasized, “I was fifty years old myself once, you know? I had my own crisis of faith. Like all priests. The second calling is more challenging and more fraught than the first. You no longer have to deal with the enthusiastic of youth, now you must grapple with disenchantment and the limitations of the rational. You don’t believe in God but that shouldn’t upset you. Even though you’re a pope. There’s still another path, that’ll allow you to find the people and things you are looking for, even if you can’t see it now because all you can see before you now are your own doubts and the darkness.”

Michael, who truly knew Lenny better than anyone. His words opened Lenny’s mind, and practically gave him all the answers he needed.

Lenny had been lost in his own sorrow, from the abandonment by his parents to the recent loss of Andrew, everything he holds so dear was gone, he had no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to count on, and God was all he had. However, God’s infinite silence never gave him an answer. Even though he finally had his own Calling, it was still not enough.

“Please, show me this other path,” Lenny asked in a sad voice, pleaded. He didn’t want to be lost anymore, he really needed Michael’s guidance, “I beg you.”

Michael smiled slightly, shook his head, “If I show it to you, then the adventure is over. Don’t you see, Lenny? Your life, your Papacy, isn’t an unforgettable adventure?”

Lenny was touched, and now understood, just like when he was young, his mentor gave him hints and clues, but never the answers. He had to work it out by himself. Till now, Michael, liked the good teacher he used to be, still gave Lenny lessons, and inspirations.

“You truly are my spiritual father, the best a priest could hope to have.” He felt blessed, and looked up to his mentor, “Michael, what must I do to restore the Church’s fate?”

Michael only had one piece of advice, “Go to Venice and bury two empty coffins.”

Back to the source of your problem, admitted it, faced it, then get over it.

Sister Mary had told Lenny many times that he should let go because the past is already history, no one can rewrite it.

_Buried my parents and move on._

Before he left, Lenny looked at Michael and said, “Take care Michael, I will see you next time.”

On his way back, Valente asked him to the Gardens as he had to show the Pope something.

When they got there, Lenny saw his kangaroo, lifeless, lying on the steps. It looked like the kangaroo was tripped over at the steps, accidentally broken its legs, and bleeding to death.

“I’m sorry.” Lenny mumbled and then he told Valente, “I want it buried at the Gardens, as here is where he belongs.”

There was so much bad news to him lately, In the next couple of days, Lenny was seriously thinking about Michael’s advice, and Sofia’s proposal as well.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was another Sunday, Lenny was giving his Sunday prayer of the Angelus at the window of the Apostolic Palace, as usual, with his back facing the faithful.

“Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto, Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, Requiescant in pace. Dominus vobiscum, Sit nomen Domini benedictum. Adiutorium nostrum in nomine Domini. Benedicat vos ompipotens Deus: Pater, et Filius, et Spiritus Sanctus.” _(Latin: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost, that Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, may they rest in peace. The Lord be with you, the name of God. Our help is in the name of the Lord. Ompipotens bless you, God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.)_

No one was paying attention to the Pope’s prayer, even the journalists at the press stand.

Lenny knew there were only a few of faithful at the Square, which was unexpected. In his mind, he thought without showing himself, that would develop anticipation; the longer he hides, the greater of their anticipations. However, things didn’t work as he expected. On the contrary, he was pushing the faithful away from the Church.

_The carrot and the stick._

He had considered Sofia’s proposal for a while, and today he made up his mind.

“Now,” Lenny said, looking at Sofia, where Sister Mary, Voiello and Valente were there as well, they looked at the Pope suspiciously, wondering what he was going to say. “Next Sunday we won’t see each other, my dear, devoted faithful. I have to take a trip. I’ve decided to visit Africa. To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the foundation of Sister Antonia’s first Village of Goodness.”

That was a breaking news.

Suddenly, the press stand was in a state of chaos. It was the first time, Pope Pius XIII announced his pastoral voyage. All the journalists were rushing to report this big news headline.

When Lenny walked back inside, everyone was smiling at him, and Lenny, a corner of his mouth lifted gave a _‘happy now’_ look to Sofia. And Sofia, with a great smile in return, then pushed herself off from the chair, “Holy Father, I better go now, there are things to do.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Since the day Sofia suggested the Pope’s pastoral voyage to Africa, she was already planned and scheduled all the details, all she needed, was the Pope’s approval. Therefore, once she got the green light from the Pope, she released a statement immediately, then she worked on all the travel arrangements and organized the press tour.

It only took Sofia two days to get everything settled, and now she was successfully put Pope Pius XIII onboard.

All the journalists were enthusiastic, as they all flew with the Pope to Africa and they were all expecting the Q&A section, a chance to talk to the Holy Father.

However, socializing with the press was not on Lenny’s to-do-list, and the journalists were disappointed when they saw Sofia.

“I know! I know you wanted him, not me.” Sofia tried to please the group, and she understood their disappointment. “I’ll tell you right away, so you can get it out of your mind: His Holiness is not coming out. Let’s enjoy the moment to feel he’s closer.”

Everyone was upset about the Pope was not planning to show himself, all of them found that it was meaningless to travel together on the same flight.

“Sofie, you know perfectly well that this bullshit won’t sell anymore.” one of them at the back yelled at her.

“What can I tell you? He’s not coming out.” Sofia knew they were desperate, “I am sorry, but that’s the official version. But then, anything could happen, there is one thing Pius XIII certainly doesn’t lack is unpredictability. Take this trip in two days he told us: _We’re going_. And we put the whole thing together at the speed of light.”

A female American journalist, who was sitting in the second row by the aisle, raised her hand, “But I’m going to ask the Holy Father a really important question.”

“Not right now, Jennifer.” Sofia shook her head slightly and denied her request. “He’s praying right now.”

“So what prayer is he praying?” A young man asked.

“Well, he’s not praying aloud. With this pope, that constitutes news.” The one who sat next to him said.

“And we have been praying for months, too: That he’ll talk to us.”

“Prince Abadi has prepared the stadium for the Pope’s public speech. Will he go? Will he allow himself to be seen in public for the first time?”

 _Some of them did do their homework._ Sofia was amazed. “The Holy Father said he will. In any case, I’ll keep you informed.”

“I have an important question to ask him.” Jennifer insisted. “When am I’m gonna be able to ask my question?”

“I understand, Jennifer, but I don’t know.” Sofia gave an apologetic smile, “His Holiness is not coming out.”

Then Sofia went back to the front compartment and closed the door, Jennifer yelled at it, “Holy Father, reliable sources say that the Kurtwell investigation is at a standstill. They say that you’ve sent a man with no experience to conduct that investigation because you don’t actually want to investigate. And there’s a very specific reason for that: Kurtwell is blackmailing you. Is that true, Holy Father? And what is Kurtwell blackmailing you about? What does Kurtwell know about you that we don’t?”

Back inside, Lenny was on his knees, eyes closed, praying. And everyone in the compartment, including Lenny, did hear every single word clearly.

Lenny was not disturbed, but Sister Mary and Voiello looked worried. Did that journalist was holding some sort of information about the Pope?

Suddenly, turbulence rocked the aeroplane and everyone screamed, Lenny stayed in the same position, continued his prayer.

Outside the compartment, they all looked at Jennifer and believed that she had insulted the Pope, and as a result, God speaks.

~ ~ ~ ~

The press was waiting for Pope Pius XIII at the airport tarmac. The tent was set, and the red carpet was ready. With dancers’ performance as a welcome on the Pope’s arrival. The government officials, the press, and the crowd were all there expecting the Pius XIII’s first public appearance.

However, they were all disappointed.

When the Pope walked out of the aeroplane, he had covered himself with white chiffon, from head to toes.

Pope Pius XIII did make his public appearance, but still not showing his face.

He didn’t use the red carpet and didn’t stop to greet the crowd. Instead, he walked straight to the car.

The motorcade travelled across the city to the Village of Goodness.

On the way, Lenny did not only saw the faithful, who were holding out with their phone and trying to take a picture of him, but also the people’s life. He was never been to Africa before, he knew it’s not a wealthy country. And now, what he saw their lives with his own eyes, that was worse than he thought. He saw there were sadness and hopelessness in their eyes, did God left them behind? No, Lenny didn’t think so. There was a civil war, which lasts for years already, and that brought the poor, tears, and sorrow to this land.

It made Lenny felt uneasy when he found a young man got gun down and laid in the middle of the pavement, bleeding, and there were soldiers around.

He really wanted to stop the car, but he didn’t.

_It’s too late, he is gone._

Lenny looked away and closed his eyes to pray, prayed for that young soul.

When the motorcade arrived at the Village, he saw the nuns with guns in their hands, guarding the entrance. And soldiers were armed and shouting at the crowd, repeating, “Stay where you are! Stay where you are! Nobody moves!”

It would be lucky that there was no media or press around, thanked with Pius XIII’s ‘No Photo’ policy. Otherwise, those images definitely would be quite an impact.

_Am I in a war zone? What’s wrong with these people? Why do nuns need to be armed with guns?_

Lenny had no intention to leave the car, he looked at Voiello and Sister Mary, “Do I have to do this? Why can’t we drive the car all the way in? Then that I can just walk inside without exposed myself.”

Lenny was hesitated to walk out, his eyebrows knitted, “And Sister Antonia has a phone in her hand. I don’t take pictures.”

“Holy Father, what if I go out and have her phone, will it make you feel better?” Voiello suggested.

“If you can convince her.” Lenny said sulkily, “Take your time, Your Eminence, I have all day.”

Before Voiello opened the door, Lenny stopped him, passed him a pack of peppermint drops, “Make sure she has one or two.”

Voiello nodded and hopped off the car.

When the door opened, and the sound of cheering swayed. However, they no longer cheered when they discovered that this was a cardinal.

Voiello walked straight to Sister Antonia.

“Your Eminence, what a pleasure to see you after all these years.” Sister Antonia approached and shook hands with Voiello.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mother Antonia.” Voiello smiled friendly.

Sister Antonia looked around and searched for the Pope, “The Holy Father?”

With serious on his face, Voiello told her, “He’ll get out as soon as you hand over your phone.”

“Are you joking, Your Eminence? I want a picture with the Pope.” Sister Antonia was furious, she was waiting for this day for so long, the picture would be a trophy for her.

“We’re not joking,” Voiello said firmly, “and there won’t be any picture with the Pope.”

“So, what shall we do? Do you think I went to all this trouble to not even get a picture with the Pope? It’s out of the question.” Sister Antonia was very determined.

“Mother, the Holy Father is waiting there in the car.” Voiello tried to be reasonable, “If you say no, he will be back to the Vatican right the way. Trust me, he will do it.”

“This isn’t fair, and it’s not equal treatment.” Sister Antonia was frustrated.

“Is it plausible to expect equal treatment with the Pope?” Voiello raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t like the attitude of Pius XIII toward a woman like me, who’s given so much to the Church.” Sister Antonia said with resentment.

“Mother, don’t forget the law of reciprocity.” Voiello was displeased, and reminded her, “The Holy Father might dislike your attitude too. Now try to make a small effort of peering into the future. Who would have the worst of it in this contest?”

Sister Antonia would not back off that easily, “I have influential philanthropist friends all over the world.”

“While the Pope doesn’t even have one friend, and yet it would take him just 20 minutes to shut down all 250 Villages of Goodness. And believe me, I’ve come to know him very well. If he wants to do it, he’ll do it.” It was Voiello’s responsibility to protect the Pope’s dignity, he couldn’t allow Sister Antonia to challenge the Pope. “Now, be a good girl and give me your phone, or we are going home.”

Sister Antonia just couldn’t resist the chance to meet the Holy Father, reluctantly, she handed in her phone.

“And one more thing.” Voiello collected the phone and gave her a pack of peppermint drops, “A little gift from the Pope.”

She looked puzzled.

“Take one. Wait, no. Better take two.” Voiello reminded Sister Antonia, then turned around and showed the phone.

Lenny sighed deeply, he looked at Valente, who was waiting for him by the car. He gave the Pope an encouraging smile, finally, Pope Pius XIII decided to hop off the car.

Without the chiffon, Pope Pius XIII finally showed himself to the public, for the very first time.

Everyone cheered as a warm welcome to Pope Pius XIII.

Sister Antonia was a very enthusiastic host, she was like a professional tour guide to show the Pope the Village’s facilities.

Lenny followed and noticed this village maybe simple and crude, but it was very well-developed. Besides offices and the church, there were dormitories, health care clinic, dental clinic, elementary school, catechism school, and cafeteria, to facilitate people’s need.

He also noticed, Sister Antonia was admired by people and she was always surrounded by a group of children, who were trying to hug her or kiss her, and she hugged or kissed them back.

But, Lenny, who was the Pope, was totally got ignored.

Lenny didn’t feel bad actually, he was didn’t like to be noticed. He was rather smoking under the tree.

The main problem of the Village was the water supply, freshwater was a scarce resource in the area.

Their only source was the lake. Most people collected the water from there. However, the lake had been contaminated, it could cause fluorosis, anemia, joint pains, dental disease, and kidney failure.

That water was dangerous. Even so, people still collect water from the lake for their daily use.

“The main problem afflicting this area is the establishment of a facility that provided safe and clean drinking water.” Sister Antonia said when they were visiting the lakefront.

Fortunately, one for their benefactors had sent them huge quantities of clean water, but the bureaucracy, the soldiers, and the gangs hijacked it illegally and kept it for themselves.

Lenny was looking at the glittering water, who knew that it was harmful to people? And they had to use that dangerous water because there was no alternative.

Then they back to the Village, where Sister Antonia was showing Lenny a facility, a very ingenious system designed and donated by a Dutch company.

It was a structure like a greenhouse. Inside, there were lots of glass tubes as a condenser with a container underneath to collect the condensed dew. Water condensed onto the glass tube in the early morning when the air is clear and the glass cools to its dew point.

“The water condenses on the glass and then drips into containers.” Sister Antonia explained how the system worked, “There are times when we manage to collect as much as three liters a day. Would you like some water to drink, Your Holiness?”

“No…thanks.” Lenny absent-mindedly said, _more people need the water than me now._

Afterwards, Lenny found out there was a confessional booth which was made in bamboos, he went in, knelt and having his confession with an African priest.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I met this famous American author. What a tempter! He said he remembered only the perverse and lustful details of women. Now I can’t seem to do anything but remember my own very few details of that nature. You might say to me: which ones?

“When I met that girl in California on the beach, more than thirty years ago. She told me: _‘You can touch my legs’_. It’s become an obsessive, very unhealthy thought. Also, even though it was in good faith, I never even realized I was doing it, I must have sinned with Esther, Peter, and little Pius. They left the Vatican, without saying goodbye to me. Just vanished.

“Now I can’t seem to sleep at night, because I’m thinking about the photo that they left behind, a photo I thought mattered to them: a photo of me holding little Pius in my arms. At times like this, I feel guilty, because I should be thinking about my only true friend: Andrew Dussolier dead because of me, and yet I’ve already stopped feeling guilty about it. This enormous burden swept away by a tiny morsel of guilt. How strange the human soul can be, isn’t that true, Father?

“Finally, Father, the world! Pity, compassion, forgiveness, all these Christian virtues, the world no longer attributes to me. Can they be right? Am I cruel? All I know is everything I do, I do for the love of God. And that’s all.”

Lenny was waiting for the Father’s response, but there was still no answer.

“My penitence, Father?” Lenny asked again and waited.

Still nothing from the African priest. Hesitantly, he asked, “Do you speak English?”

The African priest shook his head. Lenny was mad.

“You couldn’t have told me before? You’ve just letting me rattle on like an idiot for the past ten minutes!”

The priest gave him a sorry smile then handed him a note, Lenny grabbed it and rushed out of the confessional.

He opened the note and read it:

“ _Sister Antonia hides the water. And she uses it to control the sick and the nuns. In exchange for a few glasses of water, she demands favours, obscene acts, and filth I could never repeat. I beg you, please, Father, only you can help us._ ”

He turned around and saw the priest with pleading in his eyes, then he looked around, _people here are suffering, and they are calling for help._

~ ~ ~ ~

Valente rang the bells at the Eucharistic, Lenny was at the altar, holding up the chalice.

“Accipite et bibite ex eo omnes. Haec quotiescumque feceritis, in mei memoriam facietis.” _(Latin: Take ye, and drink ye all of this. As often as ye do, do it in memory of Me.)_

He never expected he saw something very inappropriate: From a reflection of the silver chalice, he saw Sister Antonia reached out her hand and touch the sister’s hand who sat next to her, in a seductive way, with a pleasured smile on the face shown that Sister Antonia was enjoying it so much.

_That’s filthy! Is this the favour of asking for a glass of drinking water?_

_So disgusting!_

Lenny felt his anger was growing.

_That’s a sin of lust! And greed!_

He was putting all his efforts to control his anger, trying not to throw out the chalice.

And he was in a stone-cold face when the Eucharistic was finished.

When Lenny back to his room, he was in deep thought and finally realized why he was here as his first pastoral voyage.

God sent him here to experience, also repent what he did wrong, and his purpose as the Pope.

Later the day, Sofia and Voiello came for his upcoming schedule and other few things.

“I have to tell you something, Holy Father.” Voiello smiled happily.

“Your Eminence, I don’t wanna hear any more bad news.” Lenny sighed sulkily.

“You might not believe it, but for the first time I have a piece of good news to give you.”

Lenny saw Voiello smiled genuinely, that must be indeed good news, “Let’s hear it then.”

“The simple fact that you have announced your first pastoral visit and the prospect of your first public appearance have resulted in a 12% increase in the number of requests to take part in your next mass at St. Peter’s.” It was almost a year that less than one-third of the faithful shown up at St. Peter’s masses.

“The morbid curiosity prompted by absence.” Lenny said, his _‘Absence is presence strategy’_ was working. “Your Eminence, as an orphan, I’m very familiar with this.”

“Holy Father, will you appear here, in Africa, for the first time?” Sofia asked.

Voiello looked forward His Holiness willing to appear in the public too.

Lenny looked at both of them, “Yes and no.”

“What do you mean, Holy Father?” Sofia asked.

“Yes, I will attend the dinner tonight. And, no, I will not give my speech in public tomorrow.” Lenny saw disappointment in their eyes, but he did make up his mind, he would not give any credits to Prince Abadi and Sister Antonia, “there some things I need you two to do for me tomorrow.”

“What can we do for you, Holy Father?” Sofia took out her iPad.

After Lenny finished the arrangement for tomorrow, he asked Voiello, “You once asked me who I really am. Do you remember that?”

“Certainly.”

“I’m just a man.” Lenny said humbly, “That’s the answer.”

“That’s not all.” Voiello disagreed, the Holy Father was more than just a man, “Your Holiness, _you_ are the Church.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello was now with Sister Mary, they sat next to each other on an old tree trunk, both enjoying the view of the endless desert.

The sky was so blue.

“How wonderful!” said Voiello, “And to think that there are still people who believe that God doesn’t exist.”

He was pleased to see the grace of God everywhere.

Besides, he had to admit that their Holy Father had changed a lot.

“Sister Mary, now I understand why you said for our Holy Father to reveal his eyes was too much for the world, indeed, by that time was truly not a good idea, and too much for him too. It’s my shortsighted, Holy Father has his own pace of his papacy. And I have to agree that he is truly a saint.”

“Holy Father is a saint.” Sister Mary said.

“What was that American journalist on the plane referring to?” Voiello was concerned about the accusation to the Pope and there was no news from Gutierrez yet.

“Oh, probably just one of the many slanders making the rounds about the Holy Father.” Sister Mary knew that was a tough case, the investigation would be never easy. “Kurtwell and Belardo know each other because they both worked in New York, and that’s all.”

Voiello looked at Sister Mary, he didn’t know since when he developed a certain feeling for her. He reached out his hand and took hers, smiling at her.

It was a weird moment.

“Oh I… Forgive me.” Voiello retracted his hand and apologized.

“No.” Sister Mary said softly.

Seemed Sister Mary had feelings for him too.

~ ~ ~ ~

At the dinner, Lenny sat at the head table with Voiello, Sister Antonia, and children next to him.

Sister Antonia gave a welcome speech. However, when she talked about the situation in the country, the atmosphere in the hall was getting intense.

“The civil war in this country, practically speaking, has never stopped. It’s hard to even come up with an estimate of the number of dead. The arrival of the Holy Father has been particularly useful because it at least forced the sides to call a truce. My fear is that, as soon as His Holiness leaves this land of ours, the warring bands will go back to slaughtering each other just like before. Prince Abadi is a good man. He’s a great philanthropist, generous with us, and he does what he can to halt the violence, but without international aid the task is daunting.”

Lenny looked around the tables, everyone was frustrated and having the same problem, they were running out of drinking water.

Voiello spoke up, “I’d use my words with care, Mother Antonia. The U.N. denounces Abadi as a ferocious torturer and old-school dictator, that’s why there has been no international aid.”

Sister Antonia showed her support of the prince, “Your Eminence, I’ve been in this place for many years. Prince Abadi is a good man.”

“The United Nations has been in this place for some time, too,” Voiello said.

“Prince Abadi is a good man.” Sister Antonia persisted.

Lenny looked back and forth between them, he left his seat, walked around the table, “The question here is: what exactly does it mean to be a good person?”

Now everyone’s attention was one the Pope.

Lenny, with hands at his back, glanced Sister Antonia, “Let’s take you, for instance, Sister Antonia, are you a good person?”

“I believe I am,” she said confidently.

“Don’t be in such a hurry.” Lenny raised his hand, he still got mad with what he saw earlier today, “ _Think_ carefully.”

“I try to live in accordance with Christian values.” Sister Antonia was rephrasing her words carefully.

“Which ones?” Lenny asked, he turned around and looked at Sister Antonia, “You can use Christian values for all kinds of purposes. A good person is somebody who puts himself last, who renounces his own temptations and needs, working only for the interests of others. Now think carefully and answer sincerely, because I won’t put up with even the tiniest lie from you: Are you a good person?”

Sister Antonia tilted her head, she was speechless and no longer arrogant.

Lenny was observing Sister Antonia, “There seems to be some kind of misunderstanding concerning the meaning of my visit here to you. You think I’m here to honour you. In fact, I’m here to ascertain your temptations. Heal yourself, Sister Antonia. Halitosis is a deformation of the soul.”

Suddenly, an African priest smashed an empty water jar.

Everyone jumped.

Lenny took a look at the broken jar, then to Sister Antonia, “Water problem.”

~ ~ ~ ~

A hot summer night was unbearable.

Lenny was hardly got to sleep, therefore, he off the bed and took a walk. With a cigarette in his hand, he witnessed children rushing to the water tent, licking the water drops, they were all thirsty, once they were found, they got beat up by the guarding soldiers.

_The life here is like hell. They only want some water…_

Lenny felt pity for them.

The next morning, Lenny was supposed to make his appearance at the stadium with Prince Abadi and gave his speech. And of course, Lenny had rejected it and planned something instead.

The stage was ready, and the stand was full of faithful.

After Prince Abadi arrived, followed by an announcement: _Ladies and gentlemen, His Holiness Pius XIII_.

Everyone was looking forward to Pope Pius XIII.

However, there was no sign of the Pope.

Where was the Pope?

He was now on the other side of the country, he prayed in the desert with bended knees.

At the stadium, it was a

broadcast instead, a speech that Lenny recorded the day before.

“This is the vicar of Christ, Pope Pius XIII, speaking to you now. Brothers and sisters, I want to be perfectly clear with you. I have visited your country and I have seen dead bodies lying on the ground, hunger, blood, thirst, and poverty. All these things are the offspring of the war and violence that has clutched your land for twelve years now. I won’t say the names of those who are guilty of this. There are too many of them.

“We are all guilty! We are all guilty of war and death, always! In the same way, we can all be guilty of peace, always. I ask this of you on bended knee, I am ready to die for you, if only you will become guilty of peace. I always say to the children who write to me from all over the world: _‘Think about all the things you like. That is God.’_ Children like all sorts of things, but none of them have ever written that what they like is war. Now, look at whoever is next to you. Look at them with eyes of joy and remember what St. Augustine said: _‘If you want to see God, you have the means to do it. God is love.’_ ”

Voiello was touched. That line was from the speech he drafted for the Pope’s first homily.

The Pope’s speech was not over, “I, on the other hand, won’t speak to you about God until there is peace. Because God is peace, and peace is God. Give me peace, and I’ll give you God. You don’t know how wonderful peace is, you have no idea how disconcerting peace can be. But I know. Because I saw it when I was seven years old on the banks of a river in Colorado, _peace_.”

It was a powerful speech, Pope Pius XIII delivered a message to the world that peace has come with a price: It’s a group of people who sacrifice their lives for others, but most people forgot that part, and take peace for granted.

We should feel guilty as well.

Everyone should keep this in mind and that is everyone’s responsibility to pass on this message.

In peace, we found God. As God is peace, and peace is God.

And in the stand, the faithful were looking at each other, they were moved by the stunning speech and all felt blessed that God let them have Pius XIII as their Pope.

In the desert, Lenny prayed on his knees to God to bless this soil and bring peace to its people.

And this, was the end of Pope Pius XIII’s first pastoral voyage.

~ ~ ~ ~

As Lenny wished, without farewell, he and his entourage boarded directly from the airport. And the journalists still had no chance to see or meet the Pope on their way back to Rome.

It was mid-night already, Lenny went to the journalists’ compartment and paid them a secret visit, as most of them were asleep. He silently walked down the aisle and blessed every one of them, when he was almost at the end of it, there was only one who stayed awake, he was very lucky to meet the Pope.

“It was beautiful,” he said and smiled with appreciation.

“Yeah, I know. Those dancers gave a wonderful performance.” Lenny laughed softly.

“No, Holy Father, I’m talking about your speech. It was beautiful.”

Lenny nodded with a smile, “Good night.”

Then he went to the pilot’s cabin.

“Holy Father, weather conditions in Rome are critical. We’re going to have to land in Naples.” said the pilot.

“I would never dare to contradict you. Naples, it is.” Lenny was fascinating with the control panel, he always wanted to have a try, so reached out his hand and asked, “May I touch?”

“No!” the pilot said strictly.

Lenny could only keep the idea in his mind and put his hand on the lap.

The weather was not welcoming.

After they landed, it would be another long journey for the motorcade to heading back to the Vatican.

Lenny was in deep thought. He had to do something. He _needed_ to stop Sister Antonia.

He had to.

He made up his mind and said, “I need to stop at the next gas station.”

“Certainly, Your Holiness.” said the chauffeur.

The entourage was curious when they found the Pope’s car was stopped at the gas station.

Valente passed a message to Voiello, as the Holy Father would like to have a moment for prayer and wish everyone stayed inside the car.

It was raining. Lenny rejected the help of Valente for holding an umbrella for him. He knelt at the centre of the parking lot, with cars and trucks surrounded him with headlights on like the holy escort.

Nobody knows why the Pope chose to pray here and now, and why can’t he do it when he is back to the Vatican?

It must be something important. And, all they can do, was only waiting.

Lenny didn’t care how heavy the rain was. He was all wet now, but he didn’t care. With his arms opened, he looked up to the dark sky.

He prayed under God’s house.

“O Lord! Let us look at each other right in the eyes, we can no longer put off this matter. We now need to speak about Sister Antonia, about the sins she has but never confesses. In the last few days, I have witnessed her sins. Should I give her a chance? She claimed that she lives according to the Christian Virtus, however, I witnessed people suffering because of her lust, her greed, and her pride.

“She is a sinner of lust. She has improper relationships and desires with her colleague sisters. She is a sinner of greed and pride. She abuses her power and enslaves people by controlling the freshwater supply. She demands favours from those who wanted a glass of drinking water.

“O Lord! What should I do? What can we do with her? We need to stop her. People suffer because of her, no one deserved it, and no one should be mistreated.

“Should she be forgiven?”

When Lenny finished the prayer, miraculously, the rain stopped. A moment later, the moon showed up, and the moonlight showered on him.

The Pope was glowing, liked an angel, or more likely a saint.

Sister Mary believed that Lenny had just performed another miracle, and she believed most of them who witnessed it might have the same thought.

Lenny dropped his arms and fell forward. Before he hit the ground, Sister Mary rushed out from the car without hesitation and with a cape in her hands, and Valente approached the Holy Father and held him. Then Sister Mary wrapped him around with the cape.

They both look worried, as His Holiness was soaking wet and not looking well. Once they got inside the car, Valente made a phone call, “Prepare the ward, and please get Dr. Lindegard ready. We are on the way.”

“No, I am fine.” Lenny’s voice was weak, he was exhausted, and his knees were so sore.

“No, Holy Father, you don’t; you have been under the rain for almost thirty minutes.” Valente concerned, he asked the chauffeur, “How long does it take to return to the Vatican?”

“Another two hours.”

“Please make it as fast as you can,” Valente said.

With lights and the sirens on, the police car at the front made way for the motorcade.

An hour later, Lenny’s condition was getting worse.

Because there was no way for him to get change and he was far asleep on Sister Mary’s shoulder with his clothing was still wet.

Even he was covered with a cape.

Sister Mary was worried and placed her hand on Lenny’s forehead, and he was moaning, “Valente, His Holiness is starting having a fever, he needs to get changed and put him in bed now!”

Valente asked, “How long does it take?”

“Half an hour if we are speeding.” The chauffeur knew they were in an emergency.

“Please then,” said Valente.

Then the chauffeur made contact with the others, in a second, the motorcade changed their formation and pushing their speed.

Half an hour later, they arrived at the Vatican, and the medical team was ready at the door.

“What happened?” Voiello asked as he saw the Holy Father was unconscious and sent into the Papal’s ward.

“His Holiness is having a fever.” Sister Mary said, “He must catch a cold when he was praying under the rain.”

They waited until Dr. Lindegard came out.

“His Holiness has pneumonia, and he is stable, but…”

“What?” Voiello asked.

“The electrocardiogram shows His Holiness has an arrhythmia, it’s mild, and I suggest putting him under observation for a day or two.”

The doctor had concerns with the Holy Father’s heart condition for a while as His Holiness had been experiencing dizziness, fainting, and shortness of breath. According to his past electrocardiogram, it did not show any abnormality, until tonight.

“Please beware of the Holy Father has chest pain, that is an alarm.” Dr. Lindegard said.

Everyone noted with a nod.


	10. IX. The World is Always Ready for Love

It was the doctor’s order that Lenny was put to bed rest.

Lenny was sleeping, and Sister Mary was taking care of him like the old days at the orphanage.

She was worried.

She’s still grieving in the lost Andrew and she couldn’t afford to lose Lenny as well. As Dr. Lindegard said, it was just the beginning, since the day Lenny found passing out at the office, and afterwards, not to her knowledge. Only God knows how many times Lenny had fainted.

The Holy Father’s health was the top priority.

When Lenny awoke, he found himself in his white tracksuits and Sister Mary was by his bedside, she was asleep. Lenny looked around, the clock showed that it was passed the mid-day, and he was in the hospital.

He started recalling what had happened last night, after his prayer he was arguing with Valente that he didn’t need the doctor, and his assistant said no. After that, Lenny couldn’t remember, he must blackout.

_So, they put me into the hospital._

He reached out his hand, slightly stroked Sister Mary’s head, tried to wake her up, “Sister Mary?”

His throat was so dry.

Sister Mary awoke when she felt the touch, still sleepy, “How are you feeling, Lenny?”

“Pain.” He groaned.

“I can tell, you are having a high fever all night, and your knees are swollen. Let me go get you some food.” Sister Mary gave him a kiss on the head, liked most mothers do.

“That’s heartwarming.”

They both turned around and saw Dr. Lindegard was at the door, with a glass of water in his hand.

“Good afternoon, Holy Father, Sister Mary” The doctor was with a warm smile on his face, as always. “Holy Father, don’t rush to get up. You have pneumonia, and you need bed rest for a day or two.”

He passed the glass to the Pope.

“Great! I need to be in the hospital for a few days.” Lenny rolled his eyes and took a sip.

“No, Holy Father, you’re not. You are in the Vatican.” Sister Mary said.

“Am I?” Lenny looked around, everything in the room was no different as a hospital, “I don’t think so.”

“We set up this ward here, at the Apostolic Palace.” Sister Mary opened the curtain, outside, it’s St. Peter’s Square. “We know that you don’t like to be in the public, or to be seen, then there will be too much trouble to send you to the hospital if you need any medical attention. So, here we are.”

“Wow, it must be a lot of trouble to set up all these.” Lenny was amazed that they set up a ward in the Apostolic Palace because of him.

“Not really, we just upgraded the old medical room, but there are still a few things we can’t have it here.”

“Like?” Lenny asked.

“CT scanner, MRI, and the operation room.” said the doctor.

“I see what I can do.” A fully facilitate mini-hospital was not a bad idea.

“No, thank you, Holy Father.” Dr. Lindegard met the Pope’s eyes which were full of questions, “Because it’s a waste to house the equipment that is barely used. I would suggest Holy See donated those to a public hospital to benefit more.”

“You’re right Doctor, it’s truly a waste, and I like that idea.” Lenny smiled, considering Dr. Lindegard’s suggestion.

“Well, I better go and get Domen to get us some lunch.” Sister Mary smiled at the Doctor and left the ward.

Lenny caught that cue, he narrowed his eyes and asked suspiciously, “Doctor, something wrong with me?”

“Holy Father, my apologize for me to take so long to find out your condition.” Dr. Lindegard took the seat.

“Don’t be, Doctor. So, besides pneumonia, what else?”

“Holy Father, you have a heart condition. Your old ECG charts are acceptable,” Dr. Lindegard passed an ECG chart to Lenny, “but this one, which is from last night, shows that you have an arrhythmia. That means…”

“I have irregular heartbeats.” Lenny finished the sentence. “How serious?”

The Doctor nodded, “It’s a mild one, however, Holy Father, you fainted couple times before and constantly suffering from dizziness and shortness of breath, I suggest you have the ECG on a regular base and medication is necessary.”

“Any others?”

“Be careful of any chest pain, Holy Father, please don’t ignore that and think it’s just a passing because it can be fatal.”

Lenny was placing his hand over his heart, “Doctor, you fix the hearts, and now, mine is in your hands.”

“I will do my best, Holy Father.” Dr. Lindegard promised, “May I give you a piece of medical advice?”

“Please do, Doctor,” Lenny said.

“Please, to quit smoking, Holy Father.”

It is common knowledge that most of the health issues are related to smoking habits. Smoking and heart disease are strongly related to each other.

Lenny was a chain-smoker. If he continued to smoke like he used to be, having a heart attack would be predictable.

“I will give a try, but no promise.” Lenny knew Dr. Lindegard’s advice was for his own good. “Doctor, is it all right for me to have a walk later today?”

“Not today, Holy Father.” Dr. Lindegard looked apologetic, “Tomorrow, you will be released.”

Lenny sulked.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny needed to stay in the ward. After lunch, Valente brought over a tray of letters and documents for him. Since he had been to Africa for days and the in-tray was full, and it was never easy to work with an IV, and wires were over your body.

Lenny had managed to go through them one by one, and there were three letters caught his eyes. Those letters were from New York, from Gutierrez.

_Finally._

Lenny opened the first one, which was nearly empty, only had a line at the bottom:

_‘This is all I can say. Your devoted Cardinal Bernardo Alonso Gutierrez.’_

_Gutierrez, maybe there is nothing to say to me, but you are so smart, you know that all mails needed to be screened before sending to my desk._

Lenny smiled. He didn’t need a report from Gutierrez at the time being, all he wanted was to know that he was all right out there. An empty note was already a thousand words.

The second one was the same as the first one. But the third one was different.

There was a date and a number: 2230r on it.

Lenny checked the calendar, it was today, and 2230r… _is the time I presumed, 10:30 pm? R? Rome?_

He put those letters away and continued his work, as he had an appointment tonight.

After finished all his work, Lenny asked Valente to bring over his laptop.

When Valente left, Voiello was the next.

“Do you feel better, Holy Father?” Voiello asked after he greeted the Pope.

“Thanks for asking, much better now.” Lenny said, “Have a seat.”

Once Voiello sat down, he said, “Holy Father, you sacred us all, how can you hide your health conditions from me for all this time?”

“Because by that time we do not work along with each other, and you can use it to against me,” Lenny said casually.

“Well…yes, but…”

“Anyway, you know it now then.” Lenny noticed that Voiello was holding a folder, “Is something you want to tell me?”

“Yes, Holy Father, it’s about Sister Antonia. She was found dead in her room, on the floor next to Sister Maria’s bed.” Voiello passed the folder to Lenny, which was a brief report of Sister Antonia’s death. Voiello’s voice was full of disappointment, “And there is a stock of drinking water has found in her personal refrigerator. For all this time, she was keeping the water for herself. Never know that she was that kind of person, so selfish and so manipulative…a, a hypocrite.”

“God knows, that’s why she received her punishment.”

_Thank you, Lord. We stopped her. You stopped her._

Lenny praised God for answered his prayers.

“I want a full review of the water supply of all Village of Goodness, and I would like to appoint that African priest to take care of those Villages for time being until we found someone suitable to take over Sister Antonia’s position.”

“Certainly.” and Voiello asked, “Would that be your prayer last night, Your Holiness?”

“ _That_ should be between God and me.” Lenny beamed.

 _So, it’s a ‘yes’._ Voiello thought. “Holy Father, I let you have some rest and I will see you tomorrow.”

Lenny nodded with a smile, “Can you get Sofia to come tomorrow too?”

“As you wish, Holy Father.” then Voiello greeted the Pope goodbye.

~ ~ ~ ~

At night by 10:25, Lenny turned on his laptop and made a call on FaceTime.

Across the Atlantic, Gutierrez picked up the call.

“How are you, Holy Father?” Gutierrez greeted the Pope.

“Tired, you know I just finished a long trip.” Lenny sighed. “And that’s a smart way to leave a clue on the note.”

“You got my message, so you are smart too, Holy Father. And I heard that the pastoral voyage was a huge success, and your speech was beautiful. I’m sorry that I am not there.”

“Yes, I wish you were there too. How are you doing in New York, Gutierrez?” Lenny was worried about him.

“Good, and thanks for organized everything for me.” Gutierrez was very grateful that the Pope was so thoughtful.

“You are the one who said that you don’t know how to get a hotel room and order a meal in a restaurant, so, we fixed it all for you at this end.” Lenny laughed, “And Kurtwell, did he give you a hard time?”

“Not really, he literally ignores me, and the process is very slow, I passed your letters to those victims in person, only one is willing to get in touch.”

“I know it won’t be easy. But I believe they will come around soon.” Lenny knew it couldn’t be in rush, it was a time-consuming investigation. “I trust you.”

“I will do my best, Holy Father and it’s late at your time. I will write to you next time.” Gutierrez said.

“I am looking forward and hope it won’t take too long.”

Lenny was expecting the next chat already.

~ ~ ~ ~

New York City, the Big Apple.

It was an uneasy life for Gutierrez to live in the city. He used to be lived in a peaceful and quiet place, and that’s the Vatican; and New York, the noise and the busy was never his style.

The Holy Father asked him to stop drinking, but he just couldn’t. He was looking at the wall of evidence that he created, trying to comply with all the links and dots.

He knew he was here under a mission: To take down an archbishop who molested teenagers and young adults. Archbishop Kurtwell was very well-known at Queens, also his popularity and the position of power made him become untouchable.

When he delivered the Pope’s message to those victims, most of them just took the letter without a word and snapped the door on his face.

And there was only one, Pete, who was got molested by Kurtwell when he was a teenager. Gutierrez had visited him a couple of times and tried to persuade him to press the charges.

However, Pete still hesitated.

After the video call with the Pope, Gutierrez went to Pete’s place to have another try.

Pete answered the door.

“Hello, Pete, have you five minutes for me?” Gutierrez smiled at Pete, hoping the best.

“Sure, Father Gutierrez.” But Pete didn’t show Gutierrez inside, he just stayed at the front door.

“I was just wondering if you’d had a chance to think it over.” Gutierrez hoped Pete could have the courage.

“Yeah, I’ve thought it over and I decided I’m not gonna press charges against Archbishop Kurtwell.”

“Why, why not?” Gutierrez was so eager to take down Kurtwell, “None of the others willing to file charges because they got plenty of cash. Only you didn’t even get that.”

“Have you ever asked yourself: _Why they took the money and I didn’t?_ ” Pete asked.

“No, I haven’t. Why didn’t you?”

Pete took a deep breath, tried to be strong, “Because I have my dignity.”

“Fine. So, if you have so much dignity, file charges against that man. That man is evil incarnate.” Gutierrez knew it was hard, but they should not let the evil walk away from that easily.

Maybe it was too hurtful or too embarrassing, Pete cried.

“Why are you crying, now? Pete, you know I’m right.” Gutierrez didn’t want Pete to give up.

“Bernardo. Can I call you Bernardo?” Pete stepped forward.

“Yes, of course, you can.” Gutierrez had high hopes.

Pete patted Gutierrez’s upper arm, “Forget about me.”

“Why should I forget about you? If you are worried about Archbishop Kurtwell, I can ensure that you no need to. It’s the Holy Father sent me here to look into the case, he is with you, I’m with you too.” Gutierrez was getting frustrated.

_Is it Kurtwell really untouchable?_

Pete shook his head, “There is no way I can fight with Archbishop Kurtwell. He is untouchable.”

“But the Holy Father can, we need evidence. Pete, help me to put him into His Holiness’ hand.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t. Forget about me, look for someone who can help.”

Then Pete closed the door, leaving a very devastated Gutierrez behind.

He left the street and looked up to the sky.

_Oh Lord, there is a rumor that Kurtwell has a son, if yes, where is he now? And how can I find this young man?_

~ ~ ~ ~

On the other side of the city, there was a luxury house where was the residence of Archbishop Kurtwell.

“What is happening to me this afternoon?” Kurtwell asked his assistant, who was a handsome young man. Kurtwell was always preferring to work with the young ones.

“First, a brief meeting with the chancellor of Stanford University in 15 minutes. Then, a meeting with the governor to fine-tune plans for the evening’s events.”

“How long has it been, since you’ve seen your father?” Kurtwell asked curiously.

“He’s no longer my father, he’s only my governor.” His assistant answered in a flat tone.

“Don’t you miss him?”

“He doesn’t miss me, I don’t miss him.”

Kurtwell sighed, “Well, anyway, why does our Spanish persecutor not go home to his Pope?”

“I couldn’t say.”

“What does he doing here?”

“Not much. He walks, he drinks, he sleeps, he drinks, he walks, he drinks.”

Kurtwell’s assistant had been spying on Gutierrez all this time.

“Ah,” Kurtwell chuckled, “He’s battling against death, which is the least interesting of any of the battles we have ever summoned to fight.”

Kurtwell knew there would be no development on this investigation, no one will press a charge against him, as he had taken care of every single one of them.

He smirked to himself. He was untouchable.

The only problem he had, was his uncontrollable shaking left hand due to Parkinson’s disease, and that made him very frustrated.

His assistant placed a hand on his shaking hand, trying to comfort him.

Kurtwell placed his other hand over it and gave his assistant an eye with longings.

“It’s too late.” His assistant said and retracted his hand.

“It’s too late for what?”

“For everything, Your Eminence.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After an unsuccessful visited with Pete, Gutierrez went to the liquor shop.

“Hi, Freddy.” Gutierrez approached the counter.

“Ciao, Bernardo.” The shopkeeper Freddy said and took out 4 bottles of gin from the shelf, which were for Gutierrez.

“How is training coming along?” Gutierrez knew that Freddy was having tennis practice.

“I’ve been gradually intensifying.” Freddy was hoping to become a professional tennis player.

“Nice.” Gutierrez put the gin into his briefcase and paid, “Did you think over my proposal?”

“What proposal?” Freddy collected the money, then closed the cash-machine, and gave Gutierrez a cheeky smile.

“What I mean is the idea of you giving me a hand in nailing Kurtwell. That worm just drools when he sees you.”

“Not me.” Freddy fancied Gutierrez rather than Kurtwell, he leaned over and said, “I drool when I see you, Bernardo.”

Gutierrez by-passed the message of Freddy, he had a plan to set up Kurtwell, “All you’d have to do is go out with him one night. You could just stop before things went too far, and in the meantime, I’d find a hiding place and take pictures.”

Freddy looked at Gutierrez with longings.

 _He is so tempting._ Gutierrez was fighting with his own desire.

“Freddy, Freddy, you’re my last hope.” He pleaded.

“Bernardo, you are gonna leave here when you’re done. But I have to spend the rest of my life here, do you understand? I can’t afford to cross a man like Kurtwell. He’s one of the most powerful men in Queens. You can understand that, right?”

Of course, Gutierrez understood, and that was why Pete was afraid to put the charges.

“Don’t resent me for it, Bernardo,” Freddy said with an apologetic smile.

“I never resent anyone. That’s my main problem.” with a thin smile on his face, Gutierrez turned and left the shop.

And on his way back to the hotel, he met Kurtwell, who was in the backseat of his car. The car stopped next to him. Kurtwell wheeled down the window halfway, without a word, just staring at Gutierrez through the gap. Five seconds later, Kurtwell closed the window.

Before it drove off, Gutierrez spat in the window with hatred.

_Piss off._

Then the chauffeur drove away.

Gutierrez knew he couldn’t give up, with anger in his eyes, he turned around and noticed that Kurtwell was going to Freddy’s shop. Freddy was all Kurtwell wanted.

_I have a mission to accomplish, and I intend to bring Archbishop Kurtwell to justice._

Freddy was his last hope.

Gutierrez sighed and walked back to the hotel.

~ ~ ~ ~

Kurtwell walked inside the shop, eyes focused on Freddy, “Hello, Freddy.”

Freddy didn’t miss the longings in the Archbishop’s eyes.

“What do you want, Freddy? Just tell me what you want, and you’ll have it.” Kurtwell tried to ingratiate himself with Freddy.

Freddy crossed his arms, “I want to become a great tennis player and win a Grand Slam.”

“Fine, then you’ll have it,” Kurtwell promised.

Freddy mocked, he won’t believe a word, “Get out of here, asshole!”

He stared at the archbishop and full of disgusted, all because Archbishop Kurtwell was too powerful at Queens, which made no one dared to stand up against him. And now, Pope Pius XIII was starting an investigation and that might take down this monster once and for all.

Freddy was welcomed to it, as he had been harassed by the archbishop for so long.

He rejected Gutierrez’s proposal was because he had his own plan: By installing a set of CCTVs around the shop, to record the crime and the sins of Archbishop Kurtwell.

When Kurtwell walked out of the shop, without knowing that he was being recorded.

~ ~ ~ ~

When Gutierrez was back to the hotel, he went to visit the hotel owner, Rose.

Rose was suffering from obesity, she had to stay in bed all day due to her overweight. During Gutierrez’s stay in New York, they developed a friendship, and Gutierrez cared for her.

He knew that she needed to go to the hospital for a treatment, otherwise, her grave would be her final destination.

“They’ve told me the date,” Rose said nervously, with a mini-handheld fan in hand. “It’s for next week.”

“It’s just one day of the year, Rose, an ordinary date,” Gutierrez said calmly and was happy for her that the date had been fixed.

“They’re going to empty me out, Bernardo. They’ve given me a 60% chance of dying, a 40% chance of living. And if I refuse, I can’t even begin to guess my life expectancy. But I’m not gonna refuse, because I need to start running in this hotel again and I can’t keep doing it from here, through six silent security monitors.”

“Isn’t it nice to live silent and flat on your back?” Gutierrez was joking, he knew that Rose wanted to have a better living quality.

“No, it’s horrible.” She was hated to face the ceiling all day long, she wanted to walk down the hallway and properly manage the hotel. “We all deserve the right to start over, Bernardo. But you know what the funny thing is?”

“What is it?”

“ _How_ I’ll leave this place.” Rose chuckled.

“How will you leave?” Gutierrez asked.

“Through there.” She pointed at the big window of her room, “They’re going to tear down the wall, turn it all into one gigantic window, and out I’ll go, dangling in midair, lifted by a crane.”

“It’ll be a spectacular sight.” Gutierrez laughed, as Rose’s room was on the sixth floor. And hopefully, during her treatment, her room could relocate to the ground floor.

“I’ll be so ashamed.” Rose was scared on that day people would crowd around the area and laughing at her.

Suddenly, Gutierrez remembered something, he stood up and said, “I have to go now. I’m going to write to the Pope.”

Rose just thought Gutierrez was making an excuse. “It sounds so surreal when you put it that way.”

Gutierrez just smiled at her and went back to his room.

~ ~ ~ ~

Back to the Vatican, after Lenny was released from the ward, he had a meeting with Sofia in the Papal Office, she was here to discuss the progress of the Kurtwell case.

It was already weeks that Pope Pius XIII had sent Cardinal Gutierrez to New York to investigate the case. However, there was still no development and the public was highly concerned and with anticipation about the Kurtwell case, they all wanted to see justice.

As a result, the rumors began to escalate and said the Pope was blackmailed.

Between the meeting, Lenny received another letter from Gutierrez, the same as usual – an empty note - but there was another date and time on it. He was reading it with smiled and kept the letter in his desk drawer afterwards.

Sofia was curious who sent the Pope a letter and what was that about, as she saw the thin smile on the Pope’s face. She guessed that must be an important message.

“I’d like to put together a press release categorically denying the rumors about murky relations between you and Kurtwell, Holy Father.”

The Holy See had to stop these kinds of nonsense, therefore, Sofia needed approval from the Pope to release a statement.

“We need to release a press release that states loud and clear: _This Pope is blackmail-proof._ ” She said.

Lenny, looked at Sofia with a thin smile on his face. “If, as you say: _This Pope is blackmail-proof_. There’s no need to say so.”

That made Sofia more skeptical, “That’s the point, Holy Father. On a strictly confidential basis, I need to know myself: Can Kurtwell blackmail you in any way?”

Lenny mocked without a word.

This Pope cannot be blackmailed.

_I cannot be blackmailed. If those can count as the blackmail materials._

~ ~ ~ ~

Michael was very sick, his condition was getting worse and the doctor said that he might not make it.

Once Lenny received the news, he went to Michael’s apartment immediately. He was terrified when he was sitting beside Michael’s bed.

“Lenny,” Michael raise his arm, pointed to Lenny, his voice was weak, said, “You think you’re the hinge, but you’re the door.”

Lenny was stunned, staring at his mentor. His words were like a message from God.

_I am the door?_

_Is it mean that I am all wrong from the beginning?_

_I am not the guardian of the Church, but the door of the Church… I should not close myself from the public but open up: To let people in, to being been seen, for all faithful, for everyone._

_I should put my past behind._

Sister Mary was praying to Holy Mary by Michael’s bedside, “Sancta Maria, Mater Dei…”

And Lenny, looked at his mentor and his spiritual father as well, who still gave him advice at his death bed. Lenny didn’t know what to say, as he was so emotional now, he approached him, holding his hand, squeezed it hard.

Michael gave him a weak smile in return.

Lenny leaned down and spoke by Michael’s ear, “See you next time.”

Then Lenny went back to the Palace. He was still in shock, and in the dining room, after dinner, he rang the bell to call everyone, Domen, Valente, Sister Suree, Sister Bice…one by one, walked into the room. Lenny was looking at them, and they all smiled back to him, they all cared for and loved him. He was never felt so loved before, in a hoarse voice, he said. “I love you all!”

Later the night, Lenny went to the rooftop in his white tracksuits, with Tommaso next to him.

“Where have Esther, Peter, and little Pius gone?” Lenny looked at the night sky and asked. He was concerned about Peter’s family whereabout.

“To Ostia.” Tommaso said, “They’re living in a house by the beach. Peter is a private security guard now.”

“Weren’t they happy here?” Lenny missed them, but at the same time, he was still upset that they left without a word.

“Holy Father,” Tommaso sighed. “Life in the Vatican is not much fun for young people.”

The Vatican is no doubt a beautiful place, but to live in here, would be a different story.

As the Heart of the Catholic Church, the tradition, the rules, and the formalities, might be too much for a young family, even there was an honour to serve the Pope, even they were mean so much to the Pope.

“Holy Father?” Tommaso asked.

“Yes?” Lenny said.

“Everyone here says that you are a saint.”

After Pius XIII publicly prayed to God, and that was regarding Sister Antonia, who was found dead right afterwards. Everyone had thought that His Holiness was a saint who performed miracles.

“Calumny,” said the Pope.

_I am never a saint._

~ ~ ~ ~

After that, Lenny was at his private study, he made a video call on FaceTime, with Gutierrez.

“Good evening, Holy Father,” said Gutierrez.

“Good afternoon to you! It should be the afternoon in New York, am I right?” Lenny appreciated Gutierrez’s thoughtfulness, as he did take the time difference into account.

“Yes, Holy Father. I just finished my lunch.”

“Show me where you live,” Lenny asked, he was concerned about Gutierrez’s well-being, he worried that Gutierrez’s life in New York would be a mess.

On the other side of the monitor, Gutierrez hesitated, but he couldn’t disobey the Pope. Therefore, he was holding his laptop, showing around his room to the Pope.

Through the monitor, Lenny saw documents and papers were all over the place – the beds, the chairs, the floor, and empty bottles were on the nightstand and the table. There was a wall of information showing Gutierrez’s investigation. It seemed that Gutierrez was hitting a deadlock, and the mess of the room was showing that he was frustrated.

Lenny sighed, he knew that was a challenge to Gutierrez, and he was worried about his drinking problem. “When you want to, you can come home.”

“But I haven’t accomplished anything with Kurtwell.” Gutierrez didn’t want to let the Pope down, he wanted to accomplish his mission.

“Doesn’t matter.” Lenny insisted, it was hard for him to see Gutierrez was suffered because of the case. Without disappointment, he said, “Come home. I’ll be waiting.”

But Gutierrez didn’t want to give up, “Can I have a couple more days, Holy Father? There is a link that still worth a further investigation, and I don’t want to give up now.”

“All right, Gutierrez. When you are ready for home, just come home.” Lenny gave him a smile and closed the laptop.

Then Lenny was staring at his phone on the desk, he was wondered, _when_ _will he make the call?_

And yes, Lenny was waiting for somebody’s phone call.

~ ~ ~ ~

Next day, in the afternoon, Gutierrez was in his room, polishing his skating shoes and watching on the television, there was an interview with Archbishop Kurtwell.

On the show, he said his diocese was currently undertaking numerous projects aimed at revitalizing the neighbourhood. And he had put a lot of money and time over the years in this neighbourhood.

Kurtwell said, “Through sports, we’ll be able to make a contact with the youth on the area and, and to help instill in them some of the values consistent with the Christian life. This time is mainly in tennis, as I love tennis.”

“Why tennis specifically?” The anchor asked.

“Oh well, it’s been a lifelong passion of mine, and you probably didn’t know but this area is very famous for tennis for a long time, and I think that tennis just offers a chance for excellence instructions of a man soul. The elements of tennis are concentration, self-worth, and a lot of things that go into making a great tennis player. And you know it’s the responsibility of the Church to help these children to grow up.”

Gutierrez chuckled, Kurtwell was truly a hypocrite, he focused on tennis was because of Freddy, who was training to become a professional tennis player, there was no doubt he was trying to use this as a chance to pursue Freddy.

_If Freddy were a dead end, would there be any other way to take down Kurtwell?_

Gutierrez looked outside the windows, through the blinds and he spotted a young man who was wearing an orange wig….is he following me?

Then he looked at his evidence wall, he didn’t want to quit.

_Not now._

He really wanted to accomplish his mission: A priest who abused his power to harm the children should be punished. As he hit the hard wall and there was no way out at the time being, he went to the ice skating centre nearby, to cool his head.

Once he left his room, he didn’t notice that he had been followed by a stranger.

When Gutierrez was skating at the ice skating centre. He noticed the same young man with an orange wig was skating around him. It seemed that that young man was trying to approach him.

When it was getting late, lots of people had been leaving. Only a young girl was still practicing on the ice. Gutierrez was sitting on the stand, watching the girl skating, and asked the young man who was sitting behind him, “What’s your name?”

The young man with the orange wig answered, “David.”

“David what?”

“Just David.”

“Why are you following me?” Gutierrez asked, without turning around.

The young man started to share his story.

“I used to skate only on the weekends, and only with my family. Then one night we were having dinner and my daughter Kate, who was twelve at the time, says that that meal was like being in a shark tank. That’s what my wife and I had become: a shark tank. Now I skate alone, even during the week, but it’s not the same anymore.”

Gutierrez turned around, studying this young man.

_Could he be one of the Kurtwell’s victims that we never know?_

“Tanistone is my last name and it was my mother’s last name too.” Said the young man.

“Why are you following me?” Gutierrez asked again.

“Haven’t you discovered yet?” The young man’s eyes were full of sadness, “You’re the missing link between me and the source of all my problems.”

Gutierrez used his phone to take a picture of David and then they went to a restaurant.

“How long have you been following me?” Gutierrez asked.

“Over weeks.” The young man said.

“Where are you staying?”

“I have a room on the same floor as yours.”

Gutierrez was surprised, “How come I never meet you before?”

“I have always left the room after you left.”

“Why come out tonight?”

Because…” Suddenly, David stood up and ran to the back door and disappeared.

“What’s going on?” Gutierrez puzzled, when he turned around, he knew why.

It was Kurtwell. He approached Gutierrez with his assistant, and then he took David’s seat, “Why are you and the Holy Father so determined to get me?”

“Because for years you were so determined to get all those innocent children.” Gutierrez couldn’t hide his hatred towards Kurtwell.

“That’s a libel of slander. And I could bring you up on charges tomorrow morning. You don’t have any solid evidence against me.” Kurtwell looked at Gutierrez, who seemed didn’t know “What else do you want? What does Pius XIII want from me?”

“The Holy Father wants from you a statement that resembles the truth.” Gutierrez could never forget he was here with a mission, and the Holy Father was waiting

Kurtwell mocked, “The truth is I know Lenny Belardo very well. We shared power in New York for years. And the truth is he has always envied me. He envies me my charisma because he lacks that quality. That’s the one and the only statement that resembles the truth.”

“Be reasonable, please.” Gutierrez was totally disagreed with Kurtwell, “The Pope has no reason to envy a sick old priest who’s devastated by very grave accusations. Your thesis doesn’t hold together.”

“Let me reveal something to you, Father Gutierrez,” Kurtwell was a very powerful man at Queens. He was untouchable. “you don’t matter. Not at all. You can stay in Queens till the day I die, and it won’t change a thing. The Pope can’t get to the bottom of things with me and he knows that perfectly well. Because it would lead to pure pandemonium. I pity you, Gutierrez, because you’re just a bit player and a cheap piece of amateur theatricals organized by your Pope.”

No matter how powerful Kurtwell could be, there was still a blind spot.

Gutierrez showed him the phone, with David’s picture on it, and Kurtwell’s face went white.

It proved that David was the missing link.

Gutierrez left the restaurant and found David at the basketball court, he was very frustrated, kicking the fence and yelling out loud.

“Let’s go home,” Gutierrez patted David’s back.

At Gutierrez’s room, David saw the wall of Gutierrez’s works and sat down on one of the beds.

“David, is Kurtwell your father?” Gutierrez asked suspiciously.

“Do you remember that girl that was skating, this evening?”

Gutierrez nodded.

“That was a moment. Because only you and I saw that, out of the whole world. I felt close to you. I sensed that your despair was the same as mine. That was the moment I thought to myself: I trust this man.”

Then David took off his wig, showing his real face to Gutierrez. He looked into Gutierrez’s eyes and said, “Yes, I, I thought, here’s a good man. And I’m a good man, too. So I’ll tell that good man the things he wants to know. Yes, Kurtwell is my father.”

That was a massive bomb.

_Kurtwell does have a son. An illegitimate son_

Gutierrez felt relieved. Finally, he got hold with solid proof of Kurtwell’s crime.

~ ~ ~ ~

Gutierrez visited Rose the next day, she was worrying, as tomorrow would be the day she moved out from her room for her treatment.

“Don’t worry Rose, I will be with you.” Gutierrez was trying to comfort her.

“But that’s not the point. The point is the horror.” Rose was scared, she couldn’t cope with the idea of hanging over in the mid-air. “I’m not afraid of dying, but because I suffer from vertigo, I’m afraid of being swung out of this place through that hole in the wall and being dangled in mid-air.”

“If that’s what you are worried about, why don’t you ask the paramedics to give you some tranquility? Therefore, you will be asleep while you are dangling in mid-air. Don’t worry. I’ll be there with you and I’ll be the first person you see at the hospital. Then I’ll go back to Rome.”

“You’re going back to Rome?” Rose shocked, she would expect he could stay longer, at least until she got discharged from the hospital.

“Yes. I’m done with my work here.” With David’s testified statement, it’s time to home.

“You come to say goodbye to me now,” Rose said.

“But I’m not leaving yet.”

“No, no, you come to say goodbye to me now.”

Rose reached out her hand and Gutierrez took hers and sat by her bedside. He kissed her cheeks, but Rose pulled him close, with the handheld mini-fan in between and said, “Breath, Bernardo, I’m the one who’s going to die.”

“Rose, please-” Gutierrez felt that was too intimated.

Rose didn’t care, she insisted, “Bernardo, we’re breathing the same air.”

Afterwards, Gutierrez went to the liquor store and when Freddy was about to get the gin for him, Gutierrez stooped him, “I’m not here for the gin. I’m here to say goodbye.”

Freddy nodded, then he opened a cupboard and took out an envelope, “You might need this.”

“What is this?” Gutierrez looked puzzled.

“Just take a look at it.”

Gutierrez opened it and took a peek. They were photos.

“That…how?” Gutierrez asked Freddy, as Freddy had rejected his idea before.

Freddy smiled and pointed the CCTVs around the shop, “Hope these are fit for your needs.”

“Yes, yes, of cause!” Gutierrez was still in shock, “How would I thank you for this?”

“Promise me we will see each other again,” Freddy said.

Gutierrez nodded.

With David’s statement and these photos, Gutierrez was finally able to complete his task.

~ ~ ~ ~

There was not much the doctor can do with Michael, Lenny, Sister Mary, Voiello and other cardinals were around his bedside.

It was about time to say goodbye.

“All of you, leave now,” Michael said in a weak voice, called everyone to leave the room. Lenny stood up and to join the others, but Michael raised his hand and stopped Lenny, “No, not you, Lenny.”

Lenny looked at his mentor and back to his seat.

“Tell it to me, just this one time. Let me die knowing I didn’t believe in God in vain. Tell it to me, Lenny.”

Lenny knew what was Michael talking about, he wanted to know about his friend’s mother, Billy’s mother, and the miracle he had performed when he was 14, which he had denied it and never wanted to talk about before.

“All right.” Lenny exhaled softly, with tears in his eyes, he recalled his teenage story.

“On that day, Sister Mary brings Andrew and me to visit Billy, as his mother is dying…I am rather not to because I am scared, but Sister Mary said we must, because Billy is a friend of mine, and his mother is dying…he needs some comfort from me.

“When we got there, Andrew and I hugged Billy. When I saw his mother in the bed, she was so weak, barely responded to the world. Without a reason, I have an urge, I want to do something for her, to pray for her. Therefore, I asked Sister Mary if it would be okay for me to have a minute with Billy’s mother, because I’d like to pray beside her.

“With permission, I knelt by the bedside of Billy’s mother and started to pray. I prayed to the Lord: ‘ _Lord, we must talk about Billy’s mother now. We must talk, You and I. And no one else can hear. Billy is my best friend and his mother is a good mother, she cares for him and all the children at the orphanage, she cares for me too. She does not deserve to die. Oh Lord, please save her, don’t make Billy becomes a child who lost his mother, every child deserved their mother, don’t make him be like me, a child without his parents. Oh Lord, please save her! I implore you, please, save her, save her.’_

“Afterwards, the room is full of a floral fragrance, and the sunshine is shining through the room, then Billy’s mother awakens, and beaming brightly at everyone.”

This was what happened when Lenny was 14. Until now, he still didn’t count himself had performed a miracle, he just prayed.

Outside the room, cardinals Voiello, Caltanissetta and Marivaux, were all moved by the Pope’s story and started to believe His Holiness’ sainthood should never have been questioned.

But Lenny’s story did not end yet, he said, “Billy’s mother is still alive.”

Michael smiled, God does exist, and there was no question that his student was truly a saint.

It was an honour for him to become his mentor, “Your mother is still alive too. And you’ll find her.”

That caused Lenny’s fragile shell to break down, he burst into tears, like a lost child, not because his mother was alive, but for the loss of Michael, his spiritual father, the pain was unbearable, he was heartbreaking and cried out loud.

“Now…” Michael was taking his last breath, “at last… time to die.” With his last words, he passed peacefully.

When they left the house, there was a breeze, that seemed the Holy Spirit and the Angels came and picked up Michael, to be with God at the Paradise.

~ ~ ~~

The workers were working at Rose’s room, to demolish the windows to make room for moving out the bed and there was another group working with crane down the road.

Once everything was set, they rowed the crane and lifted the bed outside. About the bed almost out of the window, Rose yelled, “Bring me back! Bring me back!”

The workers pulled the bed back to the room.

Gutierrez sighed when he saw the bed was moving backwards.

But he never knew that Rose was chosen to listen to him and let the paramedics dosed her into asleep. Until he saw Rose was dangling in the mid-air again.

Then he joined Rose to the hospital.

When Rose was awakened, she found Gutierrez was at her bedside, he did keep his words.

“Rose, you made it, I’m so proud of you.” Gutierrez smiled at her, “And now, I have to go. See you later.”

Once Gutierrez left the hospital, he was straight headed to the Archbishop’s residence.

“To what do I owe the honor of your presence?” Kurtwell was having his tea-time.

“I have orders to accompany you to the Vatican, where you’ll be given a fair trial. We have a flight for Rome tomorrow afternoon.” Gutierrez said in a steady voice, and there was fearless in his eyes.

“It’ll only be a big waste of time. For me and for you.” Kurtwell mocked, sipping the tea, “You don’t have any solid evidence, you and your Pope. None. Only the demented ravings of a lunatic who goes around with orange hair. No one will believe you. No one.”

Kurtwell might be confident, but Gutierrez, he never forgot his mission: To bring this _monster_ to justice. He said, “We don’t just have that testimony.”

“Really? What do you think you have?” Kurtwell chuckled. _No one can get to me, I’m untouchable._

Gutierrez opened his briefcase, took out a stack of photos, and showed him one by one. They were lewd photos. Photos of Kurtwell and Freddy engaging in an intimate moment in the store.

This was Kurtwell’s downfall.

And, Gutierrez had fulfilled his mission, gathered the necessary evidence, and put Kurtwell into the Pope’s hand.

~ ~ ~ ~

Kurtwell didn’t give up. He still had something that can help him. After Gutierrez left, he went back to his desk and made a phone call.

In the Vatican, the Pope’s private line was ringing.

Lenny smirked.

_Finally._

This was the phone call he had been waiting for. He picked up the phone with a cigarette in his hand.

“This is Kurtwell. Hello, Lenny. Even though you let it ring and ring, I know that you were waiting for my call. Do you really want me to come to Rome to be subjected to a trial and found guilty?”

“I’m afraid it’s absolutely necessary,” Lenny said coolly.

“Then one second after I land in Rome, you are gonna see all the things I have on you on all the newspapers of the world.” Kurtwell tried to threaten the Pope.

Lenny didn’t care, even he knew what sort of _information_ that was with Kurtwell. But Lenny knew that would not harm him, he smiled and said, “Go right ahead. The world would probably like it. The world is always ready for love.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Once Kurtwell hung up the phone, he went to his safe and retreated a file named “Lenny Belardo”.

Then back to his desk and made another call. This time, he called a journalist, who worked with the New Yorker.

“This is Archbishop Kurtwell. Is this a bad time?”

“That depends.”

“I have some confidential information about the Pope. And I have proof. To be perfectly frank, it’s more than information, these are ticking time bombs.”

“In that case, this is a very good time, especially for a journalist. What’s the subject?” As a journalist, anything thing about the mysterious pope was valuable.

“I’m not talking about it on the phone. Can you come over?”

Kurtwell met up with the journalist on the next day.

Kurtwell wore a smile when the journalist was reading those letters.

“Do you see the kind of things we’re talking about here? Letters that our Pope wrote to his Californian girlfriend over the years. We have a Pope with a very active emotional life.”

“Where did you find them?” the journalist asked. Confirming the source of information was very important.

“I took over a position that was previously held by Belardo. I took over his desk. Belardo made the error of leaving these letters at the back of a drawer.” Krutwell said with a triumph smile. _Lenny, it’s your mistake for not tidying up your stuff properly._

After the journalist finished all the letters, he took off his glasses and asked, “Have you read them all?”

“Only the pertinent passages. The steamy ones. The ones that prove that Belardo has had a woman for years. What’s the problem?” Krutwell was very confident that Lenny did have a secret lover, as those letters were the proof.

“I suggested you should have read them all, and with care.” The journalist showed him a letter, “In this last one, he states he’ll never send these letters to that woman because he’s married to God.”

Kurtwell read the letter carefully and found out the journalist was corrected.

“Do you have any evidence that they were ever mailed? Any envelopes with canceled stamps?”

“No, no, I don’t.” All Kurtwell had was only the letters.

“Well, in that case,” the journalist closed the file, “my good Archbishop Kurtwell, you don’t have any news for me. No bomb. No scandal. A stack of love letters that were never mailed isn’t news. It’s strictly literature.”

Then the doorbell rang.

Kurtwell’s assistant got the door and Gutierrez walked in.

Kurtwell sighed, he had to go to Rome this time. “Pack the bags, call the chauffeur.”

“You no longer have a car.”

Kurtwell stared at Gutierrez.

“I put in a request to have it confiscated. The Cardinal Secretary of State accepted my request. We’re going to take the train to the airport.” Gutierrez said.

“On one condition.”

“What condition?”

“That we sit in the last car on the train. It’s the safest.”

Which was Kurtwell learnt from Mr. Walser when he was young.

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny decided to go to look for Esther. As nobody knows how the Pope’s looked like, he dressed in his white tracksuits, hopped on his helicopter, and flew to Ostia. On the beach, he found Esther and Pius, they were playing over there. He was looking at them for some time.

_They are happy._

Lenny was pleased. He didn’t show up to say hi. Instead, without anyone catching him, he left the photo, the one of him and baby Pius. When Esther found the photo, there was no sign of the Pope. Then she saw there was the Pope’s helicopter flew across the sky.

She was holding tight with the photo, and she wished she can meet the Holy Father again.

~ ~ ~ ~

In New York, the journalist of New Yorkers, published the Pope’s love letters, not as scandal materials, but as a story of Pope Pius XIII, and in his own words.

As Lenny said, the world would probably like it.

The Pope’s love letters, which were full of admiration, respect, and love, that touched everyone, and it brought a hit to the world. Ever since the Pope’s beautiful speech in Africa, the world had changed their impression of Pope Pius XIII. For the faithful, their Holy Father was no longer invisible, no longer a rash, cruel pope. Through the pastoral voyage, Pope Pius XIII had successfully transformed himself into a gentle, caring, and heartwarming pope. And now, with the love letters he wrote, he was adored and beloved by all faithful.

There was one of Pope Pius XIII’s love letters which were touched everyone’s heart.

_What is more beautiful, my love? Love lost or love found? Don’t laugh at me, my love. I know it, I’m awkward and naive when it comes to love, and I ask questions straight out of a pop song. This doubt overwhelms me and undermines me, my love._

_To find or to lose? All around me, people don’t stop yearning. Did they lose or did they find? I can’t say. An orphan has no way of knowing. An orphan lacks a first love. The love for his mama and papa._ _That’s the source of his awkwardness, his naiveté._

_You said to me, on that deserted beach in California, "You can touch my legs." But I didn’t do it. There, my love, is love lost._

_That’s why I’ve never stopped wondering, since that day: Where have you been? Where you are now? And you, shining gleam of my misspent youth, did you lose or did you find? I don’t know. And I will never know. I can’t even remember your name, my love. And I don’t have the answer._ _But this is how I like to imagine it, the answer._

_In the end, my love, we have no choice. We have to find._


	11. X. God Smiles and Embraces Us All

It was a great impact on the world after the published of the Pope’s love letters and everyone adored it. It could be a result that Lenny expected.

After Michael’s passed and the last moment Lenny had shared with him, it did change him a lot.

Christmas was coming.

Tonight, nuns and priests were setting up the Christmas tree at St. Peter’s Square, and there was a small group of faithful were helping as well.

At the Apostolic Palace, Lenny listened to the radio broadcast, with a cigarette in his hand and watching out at the Square.

On the radio, there was a programme about Pope Pius XIII: _‘_ _The world has stopped turning. The world has stopped turning. For days now something has been happening that we haven’t seen for a long time. News and social networks, the front page of newspapers are not focusing on evil anymore, but on the good. Not on war and terrorism, but on love. And all of this thanks to Pius XIII’s heartbreaking love letters. The world has stopped turning. The world has stopped turning. To talk about love.’_

Lenny smiled and noticed there was a snowflake was falling from the sky.

It was the first snow.

~ ~ ~ ~

In the morning, Lenny was meeting with the Patriarch of Moscow. It was boring, as the Patriarch of Moscow couldn’t speak any English, and Lenny couldn’t speak any Russian, without an interpreter, they just looked at each other.

Lenny was waiting for a chance for him to press the _button_ so that he can call for help.

When he noticed that the Patriarch of Moscow was staring at the Venus of Willendorf – a statuette Lenny was always curious about why so many of them found that was so sensual.

He took the chance and quickly pressed the button under his desk.

In a second, Sister Suree showed at the door, “Holy Father, you accorded an audience to the head of the Vatican press office. She’s outside waiting.”

Lenny smiled at her with pleased. Then looking at the Patriarch with an apologetic smile, he walked him to the door and kissed goodbye to the Patriarch of Moscow.

After he took off his mantum and waited for Sofia at the door.

When she walked in, Lenny gestured and showed her to be seat – his chair.

Sofia was surprised. _That’s_ _the Pope’s chair!_ She looked at the Holy Father and asked suspiciously, “Are you sure?”

Lenny smiled and exhaled a smoke casually, with a look _‘Help yourself’_ , then he sat down on a chair and crossed his legs.

Sofia took the seat and smiled happily.

“Holy Father, the Italian Prime Minister is continuing to postpone legislation on taxing the Vatican and civil unions. His left-wing supporters are calling for blood. Many of them claim that you are behind this, that you are the man who changed the Prime Minister’s mind. And I think the same thing.”

The Italian government was planning to proceed with several new articles that would affect the Holy See for some time already, however, after the audience between the Pope and the Prime Minister, the whole legislative procedure had been slowed down.

“That might be the case.” Lenny smiled. He knew it all well, that’s the power of _Non expedit_.

“How did you do it?” Sofia wondered.

“I humiliated him.” Lenny took a smoke, “You have no idea how many objectives can be obtained by humiliating one’s fellow man. But there’s a secret to it.”

“What is it?” She leaned forwards and was getting more curious.

“The person humiliated can’t realize they’d been humiliated.” For Lenny, that’s easy for him, because which was his second nature.

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you’re diabolical.” Sofia teased the Pope.

“You think?” Lenny laughed, “People that know me well actually say that I’m a saint.”

Pope Prius XIII was truly a contradictory figure.

“How did it go with the Patriarch of Moscow?”

“The Patriarch of Moscow is more boring than watching golf on television.” The language barrier was definitely the problem.

“So, what is our next set of decisions?” Sofia asked.

Lenny inhaled a smoke, “Nothing in my mind yet.”

“Do you remember that on Wednesday you promised to act as a tour guide in the Vatican museums for a third-grade field trip?”

“Ah!” Lenny stood up and walking towards the glass globe, pouting his lips, “God Almighty, what atrocity can I have committed to deserve that? I don’t know if I’ll able to make that appointment, on Wednesday I have to watch golf on TV.”

“Holy Father, you don’t want to disappoint the children, do you?” Sofia did know the Pope loved children, he cared about them.

Lenny sighed, “Ma’am, it’s the children who have disappointed me.”

“Didn’t you like your childhood?” Sofia wondered.

“All I remember of my childhood it is one day it wasn’t there anymore.” He didn’t have one, his childhood was long gone on the day he got abandoned by his parents, at his age of seven. He was looking at the globe, rotating it a bit, then planted his fingers on Venice, and caressing it slightly, “By the way, do you remember the American journalist who was yelling at me on the plane?”

Of course, she did, “Are you talking about Jennifer?”

“Yes, that’s who I am talking about. Is she still in Rome?”

“I think so. Holy Father, why are you asking about her?”

“Because,” Lenny turned around, facing Sofia, “I would like to give her an interview.”

“An interview?” Sofia was very surprised, as His Holiness did say he was no longer giving interviews. “On what subject?”

“The Kurtwell case.” Lenny said and put out the cigarette, “or maybe some other few things. Remember, no photos!”

“As you wish, Holy Father. I will get hold of Jennifer. When are you prefer to meet her?”

“Hmmm… How about on Wednesday?” Lenny tried his luck.

“Of course not!”

When Sofia back to her office, she made the call to Jennifer.

“You are not making fun of me, Sofia?” Jennifer couldn’t believe her luck.

“No, I am not. His Holiness asked me about you, and he is willing to give you an interview. But, if you are too busy, I will reply to His Holiness that you can’t make it.”

“No! No, Sofia. You know that I am dying to have an interview with the Holy Father.” Jennifer could not resist the chance, she had a load of questions with the Pope. “When can I have the interview with Holy Father?”

“How about coming Monday?”

“Sure!” Jennifer answered happily.

“And please, no photographer can be allowed. You know, Holy Father does not take pictures.” Sofia reminded Jennifer.

~ ~ ~ ~

Later the day, Lenny had another meeting with Cardinal Aguirre.

“How are you?” He asked, as Cardinal Aguirre always having a warm smile.

“Who, me? I’m always in a good mood.”

“I’ve always associated good mood with stupidity,” Lenny said with his index finger pointed vertically up the cheek and the thumb supported his chin.

“And not without reason, Your Holiness. However, you can’t imagine the amount of energy that comes from good mood and stupidity.”

“What did you want to tell me?” Lenny rubbed his temple with his index finger.

“I wanted to update you on a survey in the magazine _‘Catholic Universe’_ that I’ve been publishing for eight years.”

“What is it about?” Lenny never noticed that there was such a survey had been taken.

“We asked a question to a mixed group of people: _If they’d like to attend a sermon of the Pope face to face._ ”

“How many?”

“99% of all Catholics.”

“And would this change things?”

“No, Your Holiness. It wouldn’t change things. A Pope doesn’t change people.”

Lenny smiled, since the first day of his papacy, he was refused to show himself in the public. “Well, then you’re confirming that there is no good reason for me to appear in public.”

“No, actually yes, there is a reason.” Cardinal Aguirre was seriously doubted the Pope’s intention.

“And what would that be?”

“If you appear in public, it will help these people to be in a good mood.”

“I’m not a comedian.” Lenny frowned. _I am the Pope._

“That doesn’t matter. Your Holiness, it’s the show of being there that helps people to be in a good mood.”

“That’s not my duty.” _Since when that is on my job description?_

“Yes! Yes, it is. As the Pope, you are not just only be here, you need to be out there too.” Cardinal Aguirre sighed, “Your Holiness if you walked into the Basilica or the Square, you would notice all the faithful are all out there waiting for your appearance.”

Lenny didn’t say a word.

“Your Holiness, do you know you’ve changed a lot since you began your papacy.”

The clergy of the Curia had noticed the changes of their Holy Father: In the beginning, Pius XIII was a tough and strict pope, even he was gentle to those who were working close to him. However, after a series of the death of people who were so dear to him, especially after his mentor’s – Michael – funeral. Pius XIII was changed, starting to learn to open up himself.

Lenny sighed, “Affliction changes us, Aguirre.”

“But a good mood doesn’t.”

 _Maybe he is right_. Lenny thought.

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Lenny was in the dining room, alone. There was music, somebody was playing the piano.

When he looked around, trying to find out where the music came from. He found his predecessor was at the door. Lenny blinked with shock, and looked to the other side, there was another one. It turned out that St. Peter and all twelve Pope Pius were in the dining room. They were all looking at him.

Lenny was stunned. He gulped and asked, “I beg of you, confide in me the wisest thing you have ever learnt?”

The Popes looked at each other, one of them raised his hand and said, “In the end, more than in God, it is necessary to believe in yourself, Lenny.”

 _I should believe in myself?_ Lenny found that piece of advice was not constructive enough, he needed something more practical, “Have you got something a little better? That’s a banal platitude.”

All the Popes laughed, “If only you knew how true a banal platitude can be, my dear colleague. After all, look at us, we are _power_. And power is a banal platitude.”

Before they have gone, one of them reminded Lenny, “We will be dealing with you one day, Your Holiness.”

_Power is a banal platitude._

“Power is a banal platitude…” Lenny mumbled and when he opened his eyes, he was in his bed-chamber.

_It was a dream, and I dreamt of my predecessors._

Lenny looked at the ceiling and smiled, _I should start to believe in myself._

~ ~ ~ ~

Gutierrez was back to the Vatican, no one could be happier than the Pope. He was pleased not just Gutierrez had fulfilled the mission to crack down the Kurtwell case, but also, he had his confidant back.

This morning, Lenny and Gutierrez were in the backyard of the convent, Lenny was helping the nuns with the laundry, he was happy to do this as he had done that all the time when he was in the orphanage.

“Clothespin.” Lenny said and Gutierrez to pass him one, they discussed the Kurtwell case while he was hanging a sock, “Have we found any confirmation for David Tanistone’s statements?”

“I would say so,” Gutierrez said. “David’s mother had a brief affair with Archbishop Kurtwell when they were both attending Catholic University in Washington D.C. Just before she graduated, they drifted apart. Like most of the devout Catholic, David’s mother decided to give birth to her son.

“After a few years and oppressed by the grim economic straits into which she had drifted, she decided to turn to Kurtwell for help. Unfortunately, Kurtwell turned his back to her as he was already a bishop at New York.”

“Which is how Kurtwell came to know him?” Lenny asked with his knitted eyebrows.

“Yes. But in the meanwhile, a veritable earthquake had devastated that man’s personality and the rubble from it collapsed directly onto that young man.” Gutierrez was felt pity for David, as Kurtwell used his power against the young man, he was suffering a lot from this. “For the rest of the story, we’ll have to ask Kurtwell.”

Lenny pressed his lips and eyed at Gutierrez, “I intend to shake things up a little, and I would like to have you become my personal secretary. Sister Mary has completed her mission and now, justifiably, she wants to move on.”

Gutierrez starred at the Pope, “She’s completed her mission?”

“Yes,” Lenny stopped his work and walked to the bench. “The child pope has become a man. He once needed a motherly presence, and he now needs a colleague. What do you think of my proposal?”

Finally, Lenny learnt to put his parental issues behind and moved on. As such, he needed Gutierrez’s assistance.

“That I can’t accept.” Gutierrez passed the basket to a nun and followed the Pope.

Lenny sat down and asked, “Why not?”

“Because it would be hypocritical.” Gutierrez didn’t want any favour from the Pope.

“What’s hypocritical about it?” Lenny didn’t understand.

“I’m a hom…” Gutierrez took a deep breath, he outed himself, “I’m a homosexual, Holy Father. And you want to expel all homosexuals from the Church.”

“Every rule has its exceptions,” Lenny said casually.

Gutierrez sat next to the Pope, “But I don’t subscribe to the exception that you’d make for me. I don’t subscribe to the rule!”

Lenny shook his head, “Times have changed.”

“Maybe. Holy Father, do you know it’s a huge mistake not to accept homosexuals? Is it a huge mistake to compare them to pedophiles? Because of the way you do, it’s an unacceptable generalization.” Gutierrez knew he was failed to control his anger, but he had to speak up, “How can you fail to see? _You_ of all people, Holy Father! You, the author of those heartbreaking love letters, _that_ , in pedophilia, there is only violence, and in homosexuality, there’s only love.”

Lenny did not feel offended, on the contrary, he was pleased. He smiled mildly, “You say you don’t want to be my personal secretary, but, in actual fact, you’re already doing the job. You offer me some advice, and that’s what a personal secretary does.”

“But in this case, Holy Father,” Gutierrez sat up straight, “I don’t just want to give the advice. I want you to accept it.”

“How many things I accept, Gutierrez, and no one notices?!” Lenny sighed with a bit of fuss, he had been compromised on so many things already, “That’s a Pope’s fate. That’s the fate of power. Try to reason with me: If I ask you to be my personal secretary, am I not already revising my own beliefs about homosexuality? Or -”

Lenny looked at Gutierrez, “Do you _actually_ believe I knew nothing about your homosexuality? Or the fact that you were sexually abused as a child?”

Gutierrez blinked, staring at the Pope with shock.

_He knew it?! Of all this time?_

Lenny smiled at him and continued, “I knew that, too. That’s why I sent you to Kurtwell. That’s why I now want you working by my side. Because we need to work on the future. You need the right motivations to do that and you have those. The right motivations can move the world.”

They both looked at each other.

Lenny observed Gutierrez through his eyes, “You changed. Since you came back from your trip.”

Gutierrez looked away, “In what way have I changed?”

“You’ve transformed fear into anger.” Lenny tilted his head, smiled at Gutierrez with appreciation, “Very good, Gutierrez. Very good.”

Lenny stood up, “All right, it’s time for us to meet Archbishop Kurtwell.”

And put this scandal to an end.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was a private trial of Archbishop Kurtwell at the Papal Office.

Lenny was going to listen to Kurtwell’s statement, his palm supported his chin, and Gutierrez was sitting next to the Pope.

Kurtwell began with his childhood story.

“That man’s name was Jack Walser, he was the superintendent of the building where we lived before the Lord called me to Him. He had divided the tenants into two categories, the natives, and the nomads. My family belonged to the category of the nomads because we didn’t have enough money to ensure the stability enjoyed by the natives.

“One day, Jack rang our doorbell at ten in the morning, confident that I would be at school. But that day I was at home in bed with a fever. The door to my room was open and he stretched out on the little sofa where my father sat when he listened to the radio. He drenched it with his wet clothes, and he, he told me that the party was over for us nomads that, that landlords had decided to double the rent.

“He said it as if he had something good, something fragrant in his mouth. And then he gestured for me to come closer and he said to me, in a tone of voice I’d never heard in my life, he said: _‘On your knees’_. At last, he said the most vulgar phrase I’ve ever heard in my life. He said: _‘There are only two reasons a human being would get down on his knees. And one is to pray, and the other is to know himself’_. I was only twelve years old, Holy Father. I was twelve years old!”

Turned out that Kurtwell was a victim as well, but that was not the excuse of his crimes and sins. Lenny pressed his lips tight, and said, “You need to continue, Archbishop. Your story isn’t finished yet.”

“What…what else do you want to know?” Kurtwell rolled his eyes.

“What happened afterwards?” Lenny asked, even he knew what Kurtwell had done, but he still needed Kurtwell to state it out on his own.

Kurtwell tilted down his head and sighed, “You want to know whether I, as an adult, became like Jack Walser.”

The Pope was full of patience and nodded.

“Certainly, that’s all you care about. What do you care about that twelve-year-old boy on his knees in front of a man with wet clothes on a chilly day in February in 1955!” Kurtwell was full of pain, he cried out.

“We care! Archbishop, about all children.” Lenny said with determination, as he won’t let any children get harm under his papacy. “All of them!”

“Fine.” Kurtwell exhaled heavily, “Let’s get on with it. Yes, Holy Father, for the rest of my life I’ve behaved like Jack Walser. Can that be enough?”

Lenny closed his eyes, with his fingers interlocked, thinking.

Kurtwell was a victim, but that was not the reason he can molest the boys. Gutierrez was a victim too, but not like Kurtwell, he didn’t turn himself into a molester.

Lenny was in deep thought.

_Deposing him and send him to the court, so that he will face the punishment he deserves? Or, removed him for his current position, and relocated to elsewhere?_

When Lenny made up his mind, he stood up. Hands at his back walked towards the glass globe, and said, “Come here, Archbishop. I’ve made my decision.”

Footsteps were echoing over the office. Gutierrez’s eyes followed the Pope and Kurtwell, they were now standing next to each other by the globe.

Lenny looked at Kurtwell and said, “I’m sending you back to the United States. Where do you want to go?”

Kurtwell was relieved, with a smile on his face, he said, “To New York. I want to go home.”

“Fine,” Lenny said in a deep voice.

Gutierrez was emotional when he heard the Pope’s decision, his eyes were full of tears, disbelieving His Holiness was choosing to let the monster to walk away.

And Kurtwell, was surprised and praising the Pope, “Holy Father, infinite is your compassion. Infinite is your capacity for forgiveness.”

“However,” _Don’t be too happy so soon, my dear Archbishop._ With a cheeky smile, Lenny said, “I have one simple request.”

“Anything, Your Holiness,” Kurtwell said happily.

“I wanna make sure you really do wanna go home. So,” Lenny gestured to the globe, “I want you to plant your finger on New York on the globe.”

Kurtwell looked confused and stretched his shaky left hand, planted his finger on the globe.

Unfortunately, Kurtwell missed it.

Lenny looked at the globe, with a grinned smile, “Ketchikan, Alaska.”

Tears were running down on Gutierrez’s face, he was relieved.

“I know the place, very nice. A small town of 8,000 inhabitants that’s so cold that it’ll split your fingers.” Lenny continued, “But in the words of the Nobel laureate Brodsky: _‘Beauty at low temperatures is beauty’_. Archbishop Kurtwell, your disease has deceived you.”

Archbishop Kurtwell was banished.

~ ~ ~ ~

There was another Consistory due to the death of Michael and Andrew, Lenny had kept his promise, promoted Don Tommaso to a cardinal.

With a red zucchetto and a scarlet biretta was placed on Tommsao’s head, followed by the ring, Pius XIII said, “Accipe anulum de manu Petri et noveris dilectione Principis Apostolorum dilectionem tuam erga Ecclesiam roborari. Amen.” _(Latin: Receive the ring from the Prince of Apostles Peter and I know you love your love for the church seal. Amen.)_

Tommaso was crying when he received the parchment. Lenny hugged him to comfort him. Lenny spotted Cardinal Ozolins, he made an eye-contact with him and smiled at him.

After the Consistory, Lenny found Ozolins at the Gardens, and he noticed the cardinal’s hand was rather gnarled, he felt bad for him, so he asked, “What happened to your hands, our Eminence?”

“Oh, Holy Father,” he showed his hand to the Pope, “The cold in Alaska, when I say Mass in the open air.”

“Haven’t you tried using skin creams?” Lenny asked.

“I’m allergic and then there is rheumatism.”

“These look like the hands of Christ on the cross.” Lenny amazed and holding the cardinal’s hand.

“God blesses you, Holy Father.” Ozolins cried, “I can’t even hold a glass anymore.”

Lenny embraced the cardinal, patted on his shoulder, and said, “Someone is replacing your position, you are staying in the Vatican, with the Curia, Your Eminence.”

“I don’t need to go back to Alaska, Holy Father?”

“Yes, you no need to,” Lenny reassured him, “You are home, Your Eminence.”

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Pope’s love letters had been published, the world was eager to learn more about the Pope.

Therefore, when Jennifer got the call from Sofia and told her that Pope Pius XIII was granted her an interview, she was over the moon.

Today, with the excitement, Jennifer was having an interview with the Holy Father at the Apostolic Palace. When she was shown to the Papal Office, she couldn’t believe the man in front of her was the Pope.

He was young, tall, incredibly handsome, and full of grace. Pope Pius XIII was standing by the window. He was wearing the pure white simar, with gold embroidered pattern in the middle, a fascia on his waist, and the remarkable red slippers. The sunshine was shining over him, the Pope was glowing.

 _He is holiness._ Jennifer amazed. _Unfortunately, I am not allowed to take pictures. Otherwise, that would be incredible._

It was an image like the Christ is back and standing right in front of you.

Lenny turned around and stretched out his hand.

Jennifer knelt, took the Pope’s hand, and kissed the ring, “Holy Father, thank you for granting me this interview.”

“It’s about time. I have been hiding for too long.” Lenny smiled at her, “Have a seat.”

Jennifer took the seat and fished out a digital recorder and asked, “Is it okay for me to record this interview, Holy Father?”

“Only the audio recording will be fine for me,” Lenny said firmly, and was pacing along with the window, he didn’t have the need to sit down.

“Certainly, Holy Father.” then Jennifer turned on the recorder.

“As I remembered, you wanted to ask me questions about the Kurtwell case.” Lenny lit a cigarette and said.

“Yes, Holy Father, and I apologized for yelling at you that day when we were on the plane.” Jennifer bowed.

“It’s all right, you just want to do your job.” Lenny exhaled a smoke, “I would like to give you some updates of the case.”

“I heard that Cardinal Gutierrez had a huge breakthrough in the case, Your Holiness.”

“He did. Archbishop Kurtwell is convicted, however, it turns out that he is a child abuse victim too. Even so, that is not an excuse for his sins, and I have made my decision.”

“What is the decision, Your Holiness?”

“Archbishop Kurtwell is banished.” Lenny was looking outside, noticed the Square was more people than usual.

“Banished?”

Lenny nodded, “He is no longer the Archbishop of New York and he will never allow returning, well, at least under my papacy he is not allowed to return.”

He was pretty sure that no one would dare to let Kurtwell return to New York, this life or the other.

“Holy Father, may I ask: Where?”

“Ketchikan, Alaska.”

“Alaska? Definitely a place of banishment.” Jennifer laughed.

Lenny put off the cigarette, turned around, and said, “You may ask, with all the shreds of evidence that Cardinal Gutierrez has collected, I can easily send the Archbishop to the court and let him face the punishment he deserved. And you may say we have covered it up, I know the world would be happy to see an archbishop who molested children is sentenced to imprisonment. But that is not the point, we are the Church, only God can judge our sins and punish us, not from the court. Archbishop Kurtwell will repent himself for his sins for the rest of his life.”

Then Lenny walked across the office to the bench and helped himself for a coffee, “Coffee?” he asked.

“I can help myself, Holy Father.” Jennifer approached the bench and tried to fill a cup, however, Lenny handed her one, “Here you are.”

“Thank you, Your Holiness.” Jennifer was flattered.

Then he poured himself another one, then he took his seat, sipped a coffee, “You must have something more to ask me.”

“Yes, Holy Father, if you don’t mind,” Jennifer sat down and crossed her legs.

“That depends on what you are asking,” Lenny said.

“As you said before, you are hiding for too long, can you please tell us why you are choosing not to show yourself in the public, Your Holiness?”

“Do you believe in God?”

“Yes, I do, Holy Father.”

“Do you change your faith because of the Pope?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“See, it doesn’t matter who is the Pope. The faithful believe in God, it’s because of God Himself. Not because of the Pope, not even because of me. If people believe in God because of me, then that is not faith, it’s an idolatry, it’s fanaticism. Therefore, I choose not to show myself so that the faithful can search for God in their own ways: They can either follow the Church or dismiss us.”

“Holy Father, you might be right. But the Pope is not just the Head of the Roman Catholic Church, he’s also the image of the Church, a public figure.”

“Yes, I know. Well, my dear lady, with a face look like me, how many people will line up outside St. Peter’s Basilica? Do they all believe in God? Or they come here just because to see me?” Lenny sighed softly, “You are not from New York, I presume?”

“Yes, Holy Father, I am from California.”

“When I was in Brooklyn, where was my parish before, people lined up at the church for the Sunday Mass or crowded around just want to take a picture of me. That was very irritating. I am just a priest who serves God, not a pop star or celebrity. That’s why by that time, Archbishop Kurtwell was more popular than me. Because I have technically retreated myself.”

“What makes you change, Holy Father?”

Lenny put down his coffee, “So many things happened to me over this year, and God tells me that it’s about time to have a change.”

“We can’t wait the day we can see you at public, Holy Father.” Jennifer smiled, “Before the end of this interview, Holy Father, your love letters, which are telling us your heartbreaking love story, with the words full of love and genuine, and it touches everyone’s heart. But sadly, we know that you are an orphan too.”

“It is an accident they got published. Those letters are like my journals, a journal reminds me that I am capable to love. And yes, I am an orphan. I was abandoned by my parents at the orphanage when I was seven.” Surprisingly, Lenny didn’t feel that hurt anymore. _Andrew told me once, I should open myself and tell my story. God helps those who help themselves._

“I’m sorry, Holy Father.”

“It’s not easy to be an orphan, especially you know your parents are still alive,” Lenny said with a wry smile.

“Do you remember who they are?”

“Not much. I just know they are hippies, and I have been told that they abandoned me because they wanted to seek a new life in Venice.”

“Do you want to see them again, Holy Father?”

“It is my dream to see them again, but after all these years, I don’t think it is possible.”

“Why? Venice is not far from the Vatican.”

“I am the Pope, and everyone knows where I am. However, for all this time, my parents haven’t made any contact with me, even they are still in Venice.”

“I wish you can see them soon, Holy Father.” Jennifer could tell there were loss and sadness in the Holy Father’s eyes, “Thank you for your time, Your Holiness.”

Jennifer turned off the recorder and greeted the Pope for goodbye.

Before she left the office, Lenny drew a cross at her, “God blesses you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Lenny met Cardinal Marivaux at the Gardens, as the Prefect of the Congregation of the Causes of the Saints, he came to discuss the sainthood of the Holy Father himself.

“What do you mean?” Lenny wondered.

“You’re going to be a saint! I’m perfectly serious.” Cardinal Marivaux was perfectly sure that His Holiness would be a saint, as he had fulfilled all the basic requirements.

“I don’t need any more steps in my career.” Lenny took that as a joke, as becoming the Pope was already the greatest achievement in his life.

However, Cardinal Marivaux thought His Holiness was just more than a pope, “Your prayers, Holy Father, your prayers move God.”

“When?” Lenny was never believed he had performed any miracle.

Marivaux couldn’t forget His Holiness’ prayer in the rain, he tried to explain it, “Let’s stick to the facts and skip the memorable account of what you did at age fourteen, in the room of the gravely sick wife of the custodian who was suddenly cured.”

Lenny looked at Marivaux skeptically.

“Now then, here are the simple facts. Esther and Peter were infertile, sterile, barren. The young woman confided in you. And you, Holy Father, you didn’t tell her to do what anyone else would have said: _Go see a doctor_. No, instead Your Holiness prayed, and Esther became pregnant and she gave birth a beautiful child.”

Lenny shook his head, denying. _That’s just a coincidence. Even I did pray to Holy Mary to grant Esther’s wish and she did give birth to a child. But it doesn’t mean that it is because of me._

Cardinal Marivaux continued, this was the one he had witnessed, “Moreover, it became clear that Sister Antonia was actually an unworthy woman, an evildoer. And you had the power to remove her from her position, you had the power to punish her, all you had to do was to sign a document, but instead, you chose not to do that. Instead, you chose to pray in the rain, kneeling on the asphalt at a rest stop on the highway, and at that moment Sister Antonia shuffled off the stage thanks to a divine punishment.”

Lenny sighed, he just prayed. _Well, God did reply to me and stopped Sister Antonia. But that can’t prove that I am a saint._

“Now, these are the things that saints do. They are moved by a faith so solid that they believe in God, in the power of God, before they believe in the power of human beings.”

As the Prefect of the Congregation of the Causes of the Saints, Cardinal Marivaux was perfectly knowing how to define a miracle and proofing to the Holy Father that he was a candidate of sainthood. To achieve sainthood, two miracles are required. And Pope Pius XIII had performed at least three of them.

Lenny shook his head. _I am never a saint. I am just a man who happened to be the Pope._

Cardinal Marivaux concluded, “As you see, Holy Father, miracles are more likely to happen. We only need to keep our ears open.”

“Are your ears always open for the Blessed Juana?” Lenny kept his pace and asked.

“Always. When she was fifteen, she went to see the children at the hospital and always brought tangerines with her. And she didn’t care whether they ate them or not. But she wanted them to peel them and to play at squeezing the peels and spray each other with the bright and unforgettable scent of that fruit. Then she told the children: I will go away from you and you will go away from me, but it doesn’t matter, because all that we left on this earth is the scent of goodness.”

“I could listen for hours, this story tells us something important.” Lenny smiled slightly and looked up to the sky.

“What is it, Holy Father?”

“That goodness, unless it’s combined with imagination, runs the risk of being mere exhibitionism.”

“How true! How true!” Marivaux was amazed by the wisdom of the Holy Father, “If you want to know everything about the Blessed Juana, there’s a wonderful opportunity that we could take advantage of. You see, every Christmas, the miracle children, who are now in their fifties, gather at a plaza in Guatemala City and tell the story of their miracle cures. I’ve attended and it was a very moving and unforgettable experience. I mean, everyone would be overjoyed to have you there.”

“Are you suggesting I spend my Christmas in Guatemala?” Lenny asked.

“Yes, Holy Father. It would be a memorable gesture.” Cardinal Marivaux was to encourage the Holy Father, sometimes, things that you needed to see with your own eyes.

Lenny thought for a moment, then he said, “All right then, we’ll go to Guatemala. On the understanding that it will be a small and private get-together, without crowds and without the press. Just us and the miracle children.”

“Holy Father, it will all be exactly as you wish.” Marivaux was glad that His Holiness was willing to visit Guatemala.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was Wednesday, a day that Lenny would spend on TV, watching golf, rather than at the Vatican Museums.

Because it was the day he had promised to act as a tour guide for a third-grade field trip.

_Behind the door is a group of children waiting for me._

Lenny gave himself a mental note, taking a deep breath again and again. When he was ready, he walked through the door to meet the children.

He was trying to be friendly, unfortunately, he didn’t know how, he with a stiff smiled, he said, “All right, children, today we are going on a tour of the Vatican Museums and I am gonna be your tour guide.”

The children were all cheered and clapping along with Sofia. They were all excited to meet the Holy Father.

Unexpectedly, thunders and rains were started.

“Earlier it was snowing. Now it’s raining.” Lenny walked towards the window, looked outside, and sighed, “Too bad! Snow is so much nicer than rain, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” the children shouted happily.

“But if it’s raining,” Lenny narrowed his eyes, “that can only mean you’ve been bad children.”

“Why?” one of the boys asked.

“Why?” Lenny raised his voice dramatically, “Because raindrops are the tears of Christ. And if Jesus is crying, that can only mean you’ve made him angry.”

Seemed the children couldn’t take that as a joke, they all scared and started to cry.

Lenny was panicked and looked at Sofia, “What... Hey, I was just kidding, have a sense of humor, for Pete’s sake!”

Sofia shook her head, clearly, His Holiness was a lack of skill in handling children, no wonder he said he would rather watch golf on TV. “All right, children, here’s what we’ll do. Right now, we’re all going to eat hamburgers and French fries and after lunch, we’ll continue our tour of the museums. Follow me!”

When the children were having lunch, Lenny was wandering around the Museum, when he walked into the gallery of _The Portrait of Magdalena Ventura with Her Husband and Son_ , he found a boy was sitting there, staring at the portrait.

Lenny sat next to him and asked, “Aren’t you going to eat hamburgers and French fries?”

“My mommy wants me to stick to the Mediterranean diet.” Said the boy.

“I understand.” Lenny nodded.

“I don’t want a mommy with a beard.” Seemed the boy wasn’t fond of the painting.

Lenny tried to reason the boy, “You need to learn to settle for what you get.”

“I don’t want to settle.” The boy said firmly.

“You’re right.” Lenny tilted his head, looked at the boy, “I don’t want to settle anymore, either.”

Then Lenny walked along the hallway to the other gallery and found few girls were having their nap time.

He looked at them and remembered how happy when they had met him. _If I opened myself, I might see more._ That made him reconsidered Aguirre’s suggestion.

Lenny took another look at the girls and left to his bed chamber. He changed and dressed up himself in the black cassock, liked a priest, then walked into St. Peter’s Basilica with Valente next to him, planning to visit the faithful secretly.

When he was inside, there was a big crowd at the Basilica, he didn’t pay much attention to the tourists. While he slowly walked down the main nave to the altar, he found out there were groups of faithful who knelt and praying.

He continued his visit and there was a couple of tourists stopped him and asked for directions, and he had to get Valente to help him out.

Then Lenny went to the gift shop.

Nobody knows Lenny was the Pope, excepted the shopkeepers who were the nuns, they almost jumped, as they were never expected the Holy Father would walk into the shop where was packed with people.

They tried to greet him, but Lenny looked at them and shook his head.

Then they all went back to their work.

Suddenly, there was a pregnant woman came by and asked Lenny, “Is there any poster of the Holy Father? I mean Pope Pius XIII, not the previous ones.”

“I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t think we have any of it,” Lenny said. It was his order that no photographs of him were allowed.

“Oh…is it sold out?” she sounded disappointed.

“No, His Holiness does not take pictures, we never have that in the store.”

“How disappointing.” The woman was very upset, “Do you mind helping me to tell the Holy Father that we all want a portrait of him and hoping he could change his mind and meet us in public?”

“May I ask, why do you want to meet the Holy Father?” Lenny asked.

“Because the Holy Father shows us the way to God, and no one can be more reassuring than His Holiness. It’s God’s will to send him to us, to guide us. The Holy Father is our leader, as the lighthouse of the sea. Imagine a ship without a lighthouse, it will get lost at the open sea in the dark night and it will never find the shore.”

“The Holy Father is the lighthouse,” Lenny repeated softly, that reminded him what Michael had said. _I am the door, not the hinge._

“Yes! Father, do you know I was baptized by the Pope too?”

“Oh, really?”

The woman nodded, “It’s His Holiness John Paul II. I’m hoping my child can be baptized by the Holy Father too.”

“You will, you are blessed,” Lenny said with a warm smile, and drew a cross at her. When he turned around, he saw his assistant, “Excuse me, ma’am.”

He walked away and went to talk to Valente, then he left the gift shop.

Valente approached the woman, “Good afternoon, ma’am. I’m Father Valente, heard that you would like your child to be baptized by the Holy Father, please follow me to the office so that I can explain further details to you.”

“Thank you, Father Valente.” She looked around, trying to look for the priest she just talked with, “Where is the Father I just talked with?”

“His…he left for an errand.”

“Oh…hum…” with hesitation, she asked, “Is…is he… _the Father_?”

Valente smiled, “Yes, he is, and ma’am, you are very lucky to meet him in person. His Holiness is not usually to be seen in the public.”

The woman covered her mouth and tears in her eyes, she couldn’t believe that she just blessed by the Holy Father.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the visit to the Basilica, Lenny went to Sister Mary’s apartment.

“There’s a rumor going around that I’m about to leave the Vatican.” Sister Mary’s eyes were following Lenny.

Lenny, with a brief smile, took a smoke and said, “You have to admit the rumors that circulate in the Vatican almost always correspond to the truth.”

“Where will I go?”

“Where you’ve always wanted to be, with children.” Lenny took a smoke, exhaled, “You’re an orphan, orphans want to stay with children forever.”

“How do you know I’m an orphan?” Sister was surprised.

“I’ve always known.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s difficult, for a saint, to answer all the questions of humanity.” Lenny gave her a mysterious smile.

Sister Mary took Lenny’s arm, “Can I start calling you Lenny again?”

“Only if I can call you _Ma_.” Lenny tilted his head.

“Yes, you can call me Ma. Where will I go?”

“To Africa, to take Sister Antonia’s place, and there you will be in charge of the other 250 Villages of Goodness.” It’s a perfect spot for her, as her true passion was working with children. And Lenny, who was no longer a child.

Sister Mary had accomplished her mission as the caretaker of Lenny.

“I’d like to open new ones just for the children. What do you think?”

“I think it’s a good idea.” He was happy Sister Mary could take her talents elsewhere, “In the end, we all have to go back to where we began.”

“And you, when will you go back to where you began?” Sister Mary looked at Lenny full of endearment.

“Where did I begin?” Lenny asked.

“You began with two hippie parents.”

“I’ve stopped searching for my parents. I’ve stopped searching for God.”

“Never say that again. The truth is you’ve never searched. You’ve been hiding yourself. When do you want me to leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. Before you go, if you like, you can say goodbye to the Cardinal Secretary of State.” With a merry smile on his face.

“So long, saint.”

“So long, Ma.”

Lenny kissed on Sister Mary’s cheeks and left the apartment.

~ ~ ~ ~

Everyone was gathered at the Heliport to see off Sister Mary. Voiello was one of them. He was looking at Sister Mary, eyes full of longings, and so did Sister Mary.

But they didn’t say a word to each other, liked they both know that there was nothing possible can be happened between them.

Sister Mary turned away and hopped on the helicopter. She left for the airport first, then took a transit flight to Africa.

Lenny didn’t see Sister Mary off at the Heliport, instead, he stayed at the office. He was looking outside the window, watching the helicopter flew away.

_They are all gone. Andrew, Michael, and now Sister Mary. I am all alone, again._

Lenny felt his chest was getting tight, and a sharp pain made him lost his balance. Gutierrez grabbed his arm and asked, “Your Holiness, don’t you feel well?”

Lenny clutched his chest, took a deep breath, “No, no. Just a passing discomfort.”

Gutierrez concerned, His Holiness have collapsed before and that was terrifying. He asked, “Should I call the doctor?”

“No, no,” even Dr. Lindegard had told Lenny needed to be careful with any chest pain, “it’s nothing serious. It’s over.”

“Are you certain you don’t want me to call the doctor?” Gutierrez was still worried.

“All better now.” Lenny with his hand over his heart, still looking outside the window, asked Gutierrez, “Do you believe in God?”

“I yes,” Gutierrez still holding the Pope, as he was afraid His Holiness would collapse, he firmly said, “I do.”

“I don’t.” Lenny said, “Those who believe in God don’t believe anything.”

“Don’t say that, Holy Father. You and I know that that is not true, you are the most devoted servant to God.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Later the day, Lenny went to the Gardens for a walk, he met Cardinal Caltanissetta by the fountain.

He was with an oxygen mask.

“How are you feeling, Your Eminence?” Lenny asked with concerns.

“Thank you, Holy Father. God still hasn’t called me home yet.”

Lenny smiled with hands in his back, pacing back and forth beside the fountain, “You know? You were right. When an orphan matures, he may discover a fresh youth within.”

“And at that point, he will have something to say. You have something to say, I know it, I feel it, and you will say it. Your Holiness, you will say it, you’ll say it.” Caltanissetta said with anticipation.

“Say what?” Lenny grinned. “I am no longer a child. I have become my own man and ready to face the world.”

“Yes! You say it, Your Holiness.”

When Lenny tried to light a cigarette, he remembered Dr. Lindegard told him to quit smoking, therefore he put it away and left the Gardens.

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Voiello was watching over his best friend, Girolamo.

“You already knew I had fallen in love with that woman, didn’t you?” Voiello confessed to his best friend, he had felt to Sister Mary. “Of course, you knew it. I’m an open book to you. And here we are again at the same age-old question: _Who ever said that a man can’t love God and a woman at the same time?_ ”

Voiello sighed deeply, love can be beautiful but can be painful at the same time.

“That’s bullshit. There’s one thing I’ve never understood about you: Whether you’re a Lazio fan like your father or whether you root for Napoli like I do. You’re unclear on this point.”

Girolamo groaned as respond. Voiello patted his shoulder, “What? You want to know what happened to Tonino Pettola? Look, Only Jesus knows what happened to Tonino Pettola. That’s an unseemly thing! I didn’t want to, but the Pope…Oh God, I was about to tell you! No, my friend. You’ll have to forgive me. But I…I can’t tell anyone what became of Tonino Pettola. Forgive me, but I can’t even tell you, and you’re my best friend. There are certain secrets so important that only one person should know them. Don’t resent me for this. I love you like the son I never had. But I cannot reveal to you what became of Tonino Pettola. Merry Christmas, Girolamo!”

~ ~ ~ ~

It was Christmas Eve, Lenny was at Voiello’s apartment, having a game at the pool table.

Lenny was pacing around the table, searching for his next cue, “You have a very tight family, Your Eminence. Very affectionate, it has been a lovely Christmas Eve.”

For all this time, Voiello was continuously inquired about the Pope’s past. Especially, after the fake parents’ visit. “May I be indiscreet, Your Holiness, and say something that concerns you personally?”

“You may.” He said with a casual smile.

“Your parents abandoned you when you were a child. Nothing so strange about that, one might feel constrained to abandon a child for all sorts of reasons.”

Lenny didn’t expect Voiello was choosing to talk about his parents, he was staring at him.

“There is no evidence to suggest they are dead. You become one of the most famous and powerful people on the planet, but they do not get in touch with you. _‘Why?’_ I asked myself. A guilty conscience, perhaps? But the prospect of a reconciliation should be more powerful than any sense of guilt.”

That was Lenny wondered for so long too. He knew he would never have the answer. “So, what explanation did you come up with, then?”

“A very simple one.” Voiello leaned on his cue stick, “They were hippies. Presumably, they hold the same libertarian and progressive opinions today as they had then. And you become the worldwide champion of ideas that run completely counter to theirs.”

“So,” Lenny made his cue and looked at Voiello, “you’re saying the reason they didn’t reach out to me, is a difference in political opinion?”

Voiello shook his head and looked at His Holiness’ eyes, “I’m saying that whoever had the courage to abandon a child might also find the strength to repudiate him.”

That was hurtful, but it could be the truth.

_My parents can abandon me without guilt, and they can be decided never to see me again for the rest of their lives._

“Also, Your Holiness, from the information I have, your parents were using fake names on the orphanage register. Only two reasons to do so. One: They don’t want to be tracked down, and not planning to let you look for them. Two: They are not your real parents, I mean biologically, you might be adopted when you were a baby. After years of parenting, they decided to move on and left you at the orphanage.”

Lenny was lightheaded.

_My parents may not be my parents._

_O Lord, that will be a real joke for me. I should listen to Michael, bury two empty coffins in Venice._

Suddenly, Lenny’s mind no longer clouded, with a wry smile he put down his cue stick and said, “Your Eminence, I think I should go get ready myself.”

“Yes, Holy Father, it’s time for the Midnight Mass. The faithful are waiting at St. Peter’s.”

Not like the Easter Liturgy, the Midnight Mass would be a liturgy opened to all faithful.

~ ~ ~ ~

After the Midnight Mass, Lenny went to the rooftop with Tommaso.

He was in his cardinal vestment, “All I ever wanted when I was a child was to be a cardinal. What about you, Holy Father, what did you want to be when you were a child?”

“I wanted to be a child.” Lenny’s voice full of sadness and longings, his eyes looked up at the starry sky.

“And now where is God?” Tommaso asked.

“In Venice.”

“In Venice?” Tommaso was curious, “And where does he live there?”

“That’s something I have to find out.”

_It’s about time for me to go to Venice, to look for the answer._

Lenny back to his office, he was standing by the window, lost in thought. When he turned around, he found that Sofia and Marivaux were walking in with their luggage, looking for him.

“Holy Father, the plane is on the tarmac, waiting for us. Whenever you like, it’s all ready.” Sofia said.

_We should leave for Guatemala tonight._

Lenny was gazing afar and said, “We aren’t going to Guatemala after all.”

“The miracle people of the Blessed Juana will be so disappointed.” Marivaux didn’t understand, what had happened that made His Holiness changed his mind?

“Yes, they will.” Lenny tilted down his head, “But in time they’ll understand.”

~ ~ ~ ~

When the news of Pope Pius XIII would have his homily at Venice, and His Holiness would possibly show himself in public. Therefore, the faithful were all rushed to Venice, and some all them were followed or crowded along where the Pope’s motorcade was passing by.

Through the tinted window, Lenny could see there were so many of the faithful out there, they were all waiting for him.

When Lenny arrived in Venice, he was having his breakfast in a café.

The manager had emptied the café just for the Pope, and there were policemen to secure the entrance so that the Pope was not disturbed. Even so, there was still a crowd outside, they were holding out their mobile phone and wanted to take a picture. But Lenny was sitting with his back facing outside so that nobody could see him, and Gutierrez went to get him his favourite: The Cherry Coke Zero.

On his way back, he needed to get through the crowd, “Sorry, sorry. Please.”

Finally, Gutierrez placed the Cherry Coke Zero on the table, and Lenny was pleased that he could start his breakfast.

When he put down his Bible, Gutierrez said, “Holy Father, I got you something stupid, it has no real worth, but I saw it and I thought of you.”

He handed Lenny a toy telescope.

Lenny received it with a smile, and took a closer look at the packaging, “It says here: You can see more than 100 metres. It’s perfect. I like it, Gutierrez.”

He held it close to his chest.

“Holy Father, the manager of the restaurant and all the staff wonder if you’d be willing to give a benediction.”

“A benediction? Now?” Lenny blinked.

Gutierrez nodded, “They’re all behind you, waiting. If you were to turn around, for them it would be something of a minor miracle.”

Deep down in Lenny’s heart, he was wanted to. However, he still had hesitation, he still not used to be under attention.

“No. That would be an exhibition.” He said firmly and continued his breakfast.

~ ~ ~ ~

At the St. Mark’s Square, there was full of people and faithful, priests and nuns, they were all waiting for their Pope, Pius XIII was finally made his first public appearance and gave an address. Also, it was broadcasting on TV around the world.

The Square was full of silence, everyone was looking up at the balcony, waiting.

It was almost a year, finally, Lenny was ready to take his role, to face the faithful and the world. He walked up to the stage, smiled uneasily, and waved his hand to greet the crowd. He looked straight into the crowd and said, “When they asked her: _‘Who is God?’_ , _‘God is a line that opens.’_ replied the Blessed Juana.”

Cardinal Marivaux now understood, the Holy Father might not go to Guatemala, but His Holiness used another way to praise the Blessed Juana, to accredit her.

“She was just fourteen years old, and no one understood what it was she was trying to say. And then, all the children asked the dying Blessed Juana dozens of questions: _‘Are we dead or are we alive? Are we tired or are we vigorous? Are we healthy or are we sick? Are we good or are we bad? Do we still have time, or has it run out? Are we young or are we old? Are we clean or are we dirty? Are we fools or are we smart? Are we true or are we false? Are we rich or are we poor? Are we kings or are we servants? Are we good or are we beautiful? Are we warm or are we cold? Are we happy or are we blind? Are we disappointed or are we joyful? Are we lost or are we found? Are we men or are we women?’_

“ _‘It doesn’t matter.’_ replied the Blessed Juana as she lay dying at the age of just eighteen. And she added, on the verge of death, with tears in her eyes: _‘God does not allow Himself to be seen. God does not shout. God does not whisper. God does not write. God does not hear. God does not chat. God does not comfort us.’_ And all the children asked her: _‘Who is God?’_ And Juana replied: _‘God smiles.’_ And only then did everyone understand.”

When Lenny finished his address, the crowd roared in cheer.

Lenny reached out his hand and Gutierrez handed him the telescope, he said, “And now, I beg all of you, smile.”

Everyone was smiling, looking at the Pope. And Lenny looked at every through the telescope, he encouraged the crowd, “Smile. Smile. That’s right, smile.”

Unexpectedly, he spotted two old hippies, a couple who looked over seventy. Lenny narrowed his eyes… _Are they my parents?_

However, Lenny saw them turned away…

_Why they turned and walked away? Maybe Voiello is right, they really don’t want to see me. There is no love in their eyes… They don’t want me, not anymore…_

Suddenly, a chest pain hit Lenny, and the dizziness made him almost faint. He was trying to hold himself by grabbing Gutierrez’s arm, when he got his feet, he patted his chest, adjusted his breath, “It’s nothing, it’s nothing!” He told Gutierrez.

Then he faced the crowd again, “One day, I will die, and I will finally be able to embrace you all. One by one. Yes. I will. I have faith that I will.”

He waved to the crowd and turned around, when he was walking down the step, another chest pain hit him again, this time he fell and collapsed. Gutierrez held the Pope tight and yelled, “Call the doctor!”

Before Lenny passed out, he peeked the sky, there was Holy Mary, with her arms opened, then Lenny smiled and felt into the darkness.

At the Square, the crowd saw the collapse of the Pope and the chaos at the balcony, some of them knelt and prayed for their Holy Father.

Dr. Lindegard rushed in and checked Lenny’s breathing and pulse. “Holy Father! Holy Father! Can you hear me! It’s Dr. Lindegard!”

But Lenny didn’t respond, his eyes were closed and motionless.

“Did the Holy Father had any chest pain?” Dr. Lindegard was worried, as Lenny’s pulse was weak, and he was panting.

“Yes, he did,” said Gutierrez. “Two times in total. The first time he can make it, but he fainted the second time.”

“Is the ambulance ready? We need to send the Holy Father to the hospital now!” Dr. Lindegard yelled, “Stay with me, Holy Father!”

A few minutes later, Lenny was moved onto the stretcher, with an oxygen mask on.

The Holy Father was sent to San Giovanni e Paolo Hospital escorted by Dr. Lindegard and Gutierrez.

~ ~ ~ ~

Once the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Dr. Lindegard rushed to his team and brief them on the situation of the Pope.

“The Holy Father, 47, with a history of arrhythmia. Cardiac arrest, CPR has performed for 6 minutes. BP 70/45, SaO2 89%, R.R. 30 per minute, H.R. 42 per minute, carotid pulse 45 per minute. With SOB and currently LOC. GCS is 3. Having chest pain before he collapsed, no allergy. Blood type: O negative.”

When the stretcher arrived in the emergency room there was chaos, the hospital securities had to block out the crowd so that the Pope can be sent to the private treatment room.

Lenny’s situation was critical.

After all the check-ups, Dr. Lindegard walked out of the treatment room. Voiello and Gutierrez came forwards and asked, “How’s the Holy Father?”

Dr. Lindegard took off his mask and said, “It’s heart failure. His Holiness is in a coma but still with us. His heart was too weak and has stopped for once, we bring him back by performing CPR. For time being, His Holiness can still breathe on his own, however, if he doesn’t wake up in the next couple of days, we need to put him under life-support, and he needs a heart transplant as soon as possible.”

“Oh, Lord!” Gutierrez gasped.

“Doctor, can we bring the Holy Father back to Rome?” Voiello asked.

“Not possible, not until His Holiness is awake. He is in Intensive Care and needs to stay here for the treatment, and about the transplant…” Dr. Lindegard sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Voiello concerned.

“It’s not easy to find a match with the Holy Father, because His Holiness has a rare blood type, he is an O negative.”

“His Holiness hasn’t given up, we can’t give up too. Sofia, released a statement about our Holy Father’s situation and asking the faithful to pray for our Holy Father. Dr. Lindegard, please do your best, we counted on you.”

Voiello, as the Secretary of State, was taking over the office, and waiting for Pope Pius XIII to wake up.


	12. XI. We Need a New Pope

It was ten days since Pope Pius XIII’s collapsed, the Pope was still in the coma.

The faithful around the world were praying for their Pope, especially after Jennifer’s exclusive interview with the Pope was published. At St. Peter’s Square and the square outside the hospital, there was a crowd of faithful, gathered, and praying days and nights. When the time was gone by, more and more people joined.

The world was stopped turning, and they were all waiting for the Pope to wake up.

Lenny was in the private intensive care room, and his cardio-pulmonary function was all dependent on the ventilator, which was buying time for him to wait for a matched heart.

The urgency of the heart transplant of the Pope enlightened the world of organ donations. So many lives had been saved because the families were more willing to help by donating their loved one’s organs, especially the hearts and lungs.

All because they wanted to save the Pope.

Gutierrez and Valente, as the Pope’s personal secretary and his assistant, had moved to Venice so that they can care for the Pope, and so did Dr. Lindegard.

They were worried, as Dr. Lindegard had said the longer the Holy Father with the live support machine, the less chance His Holiness can be awakened.

Today, Gutierrez and Valente were next to the Pope, after their prayer, they cleaned and even gave a body massage to the Pope.

When they just finished dressed up the Holy Father, Dr. Lindegard rushed into the room, there was a big smile on his face.

“Your Eminence, good news! Finally, we found a match!”

Gutierrez drew a cross and praised God, “Hallelujah!”

“We need to prepare His Holiness to the O.R.,” said Dr. Lindegard.

“Yes, and I should tell the good news to the Secretary of State,” Gutierrez shook the hands with the doctor and left the room.

When they were ready, Valente escorted the Pope for his surgery. During the operation, he was staying outside and praying for His Holiness.

After hours of the surgery, Lenny was sent to the recovery room. The surgery seemed to be a success as the new heart was beating. However, Lenny was still in a coma.

Even that was a match, but it seemed Lenny didn’t take the heart, only in two months, he was suffered from another heart failure and needed another heart transplant.

Dr. Lindegard had tried his best and fortunately, there was another matched, so he could save the Holy Father for the second time.

However, for an unknown reason, Lenny was still in the coma. And for this time, the Church was running by Voiello, who was considering as the Camerlengo during the Interregnum, and the Holy See noticed there was a group of faithful who wore a hoodie with the portrait of Pope Pius XIII, gathered at the square outside the hospital.

They prayed for the Pope days and nights, and they took themselves as the guard of Pius XIII.

It was alarming. Because that was a sign of idolatry.

And now, it was nine months since Lenny’s collapse, he needed another heart transplant, for the third time.

Before the surgery, Dr. Lindegard told Voiello, if after the transplant the Holy Father was still not able to wake up, then His Holiness would be highly possible to stay in a coma.

Voiello, Gutierrez, Aguirre, Valente, and Sofia, were all waiting outside the operation room, all they could do, was only prayed to God, and hoping their Holy Father can put through and wake up soon.

~ ~ ~ ~

Now, Lenny was in the operation table, with his chest was opened and ready for his third heart transplant. Once Dr. Lindegard was ready, he said, “Okay, we’re ready. Hand me the heart.”

The nurse handed him the heart and he placed it carefully inside the Pope’s chest, “You wanna hear something funny?”

The others looked at the doctor, puzzling.

“This heart belonged to an Egyptian, a Muslim,” said the doctor. It seemed that was like a joke: The Head of the Roman Catholic Church – the Pope, with a Muslim’s heart. Or, that maybe God’s plan: A union of two religions?

Dr. Lindegard started the stitches and the new heart was fully connected, he exhaled and said, “Turn off the machine.”

The nurse turned off the bypass machine, the blood circulating started through back into the heart and the tubes to the machine were removed.

Then they passed small paddles to Dr. Lindegard, he placed them on the heart and shouted, “Clear!”

A shock to the heart to restart the heartbeat.

_Lenny blinked, ‘Where am I?” he asked, as he felt he has slept for a very long time. When he looked around, he found himself in an operation room._

_He was shocked. He saw himself on the table, having surgery._

_It was funny to look at yourself in such a way, Lenny was pacing around and saw Voiello, Gutierrez, Sofia, and other cardinals were outside. It seemed no one can see him, as no one noticed that he was sitting next to them._

_I need to go back. Lenny thought._

_‘Lenny! Lenny, it’s not time yet.’_

_Lenny heard a voice said. He looked around and there was nobody out there, he asked, ‘then when? They are all waiting for me.’_

_‘No, not yet, it’s not time yet,’ said the voice, ‘It needs time for your body to heal. Remember, patience is virtues, Lenny.’_

_‘For how long?’_

_‘When your body is ready,’ said the voice._

_Then Lenny felt into the darkness again._

Dr. Lindegard was relieved when the new heart was beating, like the faithful around the world, he hoped that His Holiness could put through this time because if His Holiness didn’t take this heart, there would be nothing more he can do.

He sewed the sternum and the skin and used surgical staples to close the incision. Then they escorted Pius XIII back to his private intensive care room.

Voiello approached Dr. Lindegard, “How’s the Holy Father?”

“The heart is beating strong, but only time can tell us whether His Holiness takes the new heart or not.”

“Will His Holiness be wake up soon?” Voiello asked.

The doctor shook his head, “Only God knows.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Outside the hospital, there was a crowd waiting and praying for Pius XIII, and the those who claimed them they were the guardians of Pius XIII. And they all had one wish: Pope Pius XIII can be wake up again.

However, there was still no news of the Pope.

“It was not God. It was the Church.” The leader of the group who was wearing a red hoodie said. She believed that there was a conspiracy as the Holy See wanted to steal the power from the Pope, as the Pope was still in a coma, they could control all the assets and the power of the Church.

In the meantime, far away at Ostia, Esther was praying in front of the Holy Mary.

“Have you been praying here all night?” asked the parish priest.

“It didn’t work,” Esther sighed with disappointment, “The transplant didn’t take.”

“How do you know?” the priest asked.

“I don’t need to know. I feel it.” Esther said firmly. She believed that she had a special connection with Pope Pius XIII, she could feel the Pope and she could tell whether he was there or not.

~ ~ ~ ~

A few days later, Lenny’s new heart was beating strong, he was in his private intensive care room, however, he was still in a coma with the ventilator.

“Holy Father, when are you going to wake up?” Gutierrez was by Lenny’s bedside, “We all need you. Our Church can’t go on without you.”

In the Vatican, the Holy See received a video recording, which was from an Islam terrorist: The Caliph.

“Our hatred is concrete. Our enemy is obvious. It’s Iblis. It is the Christian. And, as the Koran says: _‘I will fill Hell with you all, you and all those after you.’_ Our Hatred is concrete, and our enemy is obvious!”

~ ~ ~ ~

After visited the Pope, Voiello met Bauer, who was the Ambassador of the United States to the Holy See, or you might say that he was a secret agent as well.

He was concerning the latest conciliatory words from the Caliph. “A raving lunatic is not a priority of mine,” said Voiello and his top priority was when Pius XIII woke up.

“Everything is your priority right now, My Most Eminent Secretary of State. You’ve got terrorism at your gates, you’ve got an overdose of sexual scandals that democratically touches the entire ecclesiastical hierarchy, and you’ve got a pope who is no longer loved but idolized. Three failed heart transplants later, he is still in a coma, so you can’t exactly squash the idolatry and you know all too well how dangerous idolatry is: Idolatry is the prelude to war.”

Voiello did understand the Church was now facing an unusual situation, with the Holy Father was in comatose, he was now the in-charge of the Church, and the recent video recording for an unfamiliar terrorist group, the Church had become the target.

“My compliments for your expository clarity.” Voiello sighed.

“Thank you for the compliment,” Bauer mocked. “Expository clarity is one of the prerogatives of an Ambassador to the Holy See.”

“I have often asked myself if you are merely an ambassador, or if you also perform other, shall we say, more delicate roles, for governments?”

Bauer analyzed the current situation to Voiello, “Nine months ago, Pius XIII fell into a coma. He is still alive, but at the same time, he is dead. You need a new pope.”

“Pius XIII is our Pope,” said Voiello, that’s the fact no one can change, “Have you no compassion, no Christian charity?”

“I don’t even know what they are. I am been paid not to have them,” Bauer said coolly.

“I thought they also paid you never to be moved,” Voiello mocked.

“True. I’m only moved in my free time.” Bauer took a smoke and smirked, “Let me say it again, you need a Conclave.”

“You’re moving too fast, Bauer,” said Voiello.

There was a history of the Church without a Pope, as known as _Sede Vacante_ or the Interregnum, it could be last over years, and that would be perfectly all right to the Holy See. As Camerlengo and Secretary of State, he had to avoid a situation there would be two popes at the same time.

No matter what, even Pius XIII was comatose, he was still their Pope.

Voiello shook his head and said, “The world is moving too fast. In the Vatican, we move at our own pace, and which is why we have lasted so long: _Our procedures are our power._ ”

“Power!” Bauer said sarcastically, “Your empire is collapsing, Voiello. And you know it.”

Voiello sighed.

“For the role in question, humbly permit me to propose Hernández, or how about Sir John Brannox?” Bauer suggested.

“A new pope,” Voiello mumbled and sighed heavily. Having a Conclave, then a new pope, would that be the only way to save the Church?

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello had been working on the Conclave and needed to be sure that the newly elected would be legitimated, as Pius XIII didn’t resign, and he didn’t die. If Voiello can, he would rather the Church stayed under the Interregnum.

However, to prevent the Church felt into the idolatry of Pius XIII, a new pope became necessary.

Therefore, Voiello held a secret meeting by the Mary in the Jungle, with a group of cardinals to discuss the upcoming Conclave and the potential candidate of their new pope.

However, it seemed that everyone hadn’t taken the Conclave seriously, as some of them didn’t think a Conclave was necessary. And their suggestion was either based on the cardinal’s physical look, or he was too old or too ill that they might have another Conclave in three months, or, another American cardinal liked Pius XIII.

Voiello was fussed, “This is no time for joking, brethren. We are deciding our fate and the future of the Church.”

“How about the legendary Sir John Brannox?” Assente suggested, “I’ve never known a cardinal who could convert Anglicans to Catholicism.”

“Oh, he is too much of snob,” Voiello not quite agreed, “He didn’t want the crimson cap and didn’t attend to the consistory.”

After hours of deliberation, they still couldn’t come up with a candidate, Aguirre sighed heavily, “Okay, why don’t you just give us the list of whoever’s in good enough health? That would help us narrow down the list and speed things up.”

“Hernández? He’s in excellent health and is an extraordinary priest.”

“I don’t trust extraordinary priests,” Voiello shook his head, “Under their robes hides an ordinary man.”

“I hardly ever understand you, Voiello,” Aguirre said suspiciously.

“I feel such tenderness for you, Aguirre.” Voiello was very upset, because no one came up his name in their mind, “Please don’t ever stop not understanding me.”

“Then you suggest someone, Voiello,” Assente said, “We need a strong candidate. Because Hernández has an impressive array of supporters.”

Voiello thought he should be the one this time, he turned around and put up his face, “Don’t you think that, after all these years, my time has come? I am in perfect health. To that end, I have prepared a copy of my latest test results for each of you.”

A priest with a round face and round glasses handed everyone a set of documents, “Let me introduce you Don Luigi Cavallo, my new right-hand man. An expert in making the world feel uneasy. He will be invaluable. Now, I encourage you to think of me, not as the Vatican Secretary of State, who may at times have been wily, despotic, and brutal. As pope, I would be different: Warm, moderate, prudent, and respectful of all sexual orientations. Finally, an ordinary pope, having been an extraordinary man.”

“Just look at him and picture him as pope,” said Don Luigi Cavallo, in a sweet soft voice, “Who is more ordinary than him? A stocky build, a forgettable face, except for one detail, which emphasizes its mediocrity.”

“I would wage a war against eccentricity wherever it lurks,” Voiello said firmly, “ _‘Living in the Norm’_ , would be a fitting title for a new book that could be released to mark the occasion.”

~ ~ ~ ~

At night, Voiello was looking after Girolamo, while they were watching a TV programme about Pius XIII and the coming Conclave; the show got Esther giving an interview on the show as well.

“You know Pope Pius XIII so well, you even claim that Lenny Belardo granted you a miracle. So, what do you think of this Conclave? A new pope while the other one is still alive, albeit, alas, in a coma? Doesn’t this all seem a little strange to you?” asked the programme host.

“No, it’s not strange. It’s criminal. I know the Vatican. It’s a den of snakes and scoundrels, blackmailers, and perverts. And they can’t wait to expel the only pure soul who has ever set foot in there: Pius XIII. But they’ve miscalculated,” Esther said firmly, “Pius XIII is a saint. And to do good, a saint only has to breathe.”

Voiello angrily turned off the TV and tossed the remote control.

He turned to Girolamo and said, “Did you hear her?! Did you hear her, Girolamo? She has it in for me. But what does she know about my work and its meaning? There are two types of us: Those who serve God in contemplation and those who serve him contemplating their own actions. That’s me. She has always seen me as a man of the sewers. She will never understand that rats like me are needed to prepare fertile ground for holiness. And you, Girolamo, will you still be at my side in this new war? I need to know, Girolamo. You, my guardian angel, will you be there?”

He took Girolamo’s gurgle as a yes. Voiello smiled, “I was sure of it.”

And for the Church and the love of God, they really need a new pope and the Conclave must be processed.

~ ~ ~ ~

On Friday, after the College of Cardinals finished the Mass at St. Peter’s Basilica, they processed to the Sistine Chapel for the Conclave. Once all cardinal electors had taken the Oath, and then the Master of Papal Liturgical Celebrations stood at the door of the Sistine Chapel and called out: “Extra omnes!” _(Latin: All of you, get out!)_

All the individuals other than the cardinal electors and the Conclave participants had left the Chapel.

After that, the Conclave started, and all Cardinals have only had one goal: To elect their new pope.

It was an election with a strict procedure. Before casting the vote, each cardinal needed to say: ‘Testor Christum Dominum, qui me iudicaturus est, me eum eligere, quem secundum Deum iudico eligi debere.’ _(Latin: I call as my witness, Christ the Lord, who will be my judge that my vote is given to the one who, before God, I think should be elected.)_

Then they put their vote into the container on the altar.

Cardinal Hernández seemed one of the favourites and the others were Sir John Brannox and Voiello, even some of them gave their votes to Lenny. There was one funny thing: Hernández was the spitting image of Voiello. They both looked like a twin.

However, Voiello didn’t find it was funny at all, his only concern that he only had 37 votes and Hernández’s was 50.

An elected pope required more than two-thirds of supermajority vote of cardinal electors, it was 120 in total which meant it needed at least 80 votes to become the pope.

As that was only two votes on each morning, and two votes on each afternoon. After third votes, the competition between Voiello and Hernández was still neck-to-neck, the Conclave this time could last for days.

“It’s going to be a long run. I don’t think it’s easy to win a two-thirds majority. What do you think, Hernández?”

“I think Voiello is too short to be Pope.” Hernández believed that he would win.

“It’s not looking good. Voiello is not breaking through. Hernández is in the lead. If he manages to draw another 30 or so votes, he’s the new pope.” Aguirre felt hopeless, he didn’t think Voiello could win.

After the fourth vote, Hernández was still in the lead and Voiello was started losing his votes.

~ ~ ~ ~

The Conclave processed into Day 2.

All cardinals prayed privately to God before the vote. Each of them was looking for a different new leader.

Some of them would want a pope who allows priests to marry so that his partner no longer lives under shadows.

Some of them would want a pope who feels compassion for homosexuals, he would smile affectionately and accepted a homosexual priest with wide-open arms.

Some of them would want a pope who believes in the right to be presumptuous so that they can father a child.

Some of them would want a pope with no mercy, a pope who rejects liberals, pedophiles, homosexuals, exploiters, and infidels, and save all the children they are destroyed, tormented, abandoned.

Some of them would want a pope who is seeking forgiveness for their sin of molested children; and some want to be damned to hell.

However, only Voiello’s was different, he prayed to God to make him pope, “I’d like a pope that was me because only I am capable of understanding you.”

However, after 8 days, Hernández was still in the lead, having 67 votes.

“He’s stalled,” Assente was worried, “We’re not going to breakthrough. And you know, after the thirty-fourth vote, Hernández will take it with a simple majority.”

Voiello sighed, “Assente, I know how it works.”

At the end of the day, no one was elected at their new pope.

All cardinals retreated and Voiello was having a meeting with his supporters at his apartment.

Voiello found that there was one of them was missing, “Where is Aguirre?”

“He’s already repositioned himself in Hernández’s.”

“The irresistible call of a maraca.”

“Voiello, you can’t seem to breakthrough.”

“I noticed.”

“Better luck next time,” Gutierrez assured Voiello.

“Next time? Next time I will be 114 years old!” Voiello was fed up.

“Tomorrow will be the 35th round of voting. At which point, Hernández will only need 58 votes to become pope. In truth, he already has them. And with Aguirre, he’ll have 59. We might as well align ourselves with him as well.” Assente took a smoke and said.

“Not on your life,” Voiello firmly said.

“Voiello, it’s over.” Assente didn’t see Voiello would have the chance to win.

“No, it’s only just begun.” Voiello would never give up, “Under pressure, a good Secretary of State must be flexible and tactical.”

“We don’t understand,” said the cardinals.

“You don’t understand because you have given in to your emotions. But we must listen to the Holy Spirit. And a little while ago, the Holy Spirit came to me and said: _‘Voiello, why can’t you breakthrough? Because the cardinals voting for Paoletti and Brannox don’t trust you. They might trust someone who is, shall we say, more docile, more malleable. In which case you would already recover 26 votes, which, added to your 38, make 64. That is what that mathematician.’_ This is what the Holy Spirit told me. Besides, cardinals love weak, manipulable popes.”

“The weak candidate theory, one of your golden oldies,” Assente asked with a reserved smile, “And _who_ is this new candidate? Remember, Voiello, the one you chose last time, he almost pushes the Church over the edge.”

Voiello looked at Assente. He knew Assente was talking about Pius XIII and he would not make the same mistake this time. He smirked and acted like the cunning, manipulative Secretary of State he used to be, with confident, he told them a name.

By tomorrow, there would be a new pope.

~ ~ ~ ~

All cardinals were back to the Sistine Chapel, waiting to continue their 35th round of the ballot.

Before that, Voiello met Hernández at the bathroom.

Voiello noticed that Hernández was really look-alike him.

Hernández said, “Have you ever had a histological exam done on that mole?”

The only difference between them it’s on the face.

“Yes, it’s benign,” Voiello pointed on his face, “This thing I have on my cheek is my supplementary brain. It only kicks in when there is some minor problem. Like today.”

Hernández looked at Voiello skeptically, but Voiello was wearing a victory smile on his face and left the bathroom.

After he made his vote, he was watching his fellow cardinals for their votes. Once all votes had been cast, each ballot was unfolded by the first Scrutineer; all three Scrutineers separately write down the name indicated on the ballot, and the last of the Scrutineers read the name aloud.

“Hernández…Hernández…Hernández…Viglietti…Hernández…Hernández…Viglietti…Viglietti…Viglietti…”

After the counting of the votes, the Scrutineer announced, “Hernández: 49. Viglietti: 67. Habemus papam. _(Latin: We have a pope.)_ ”

It was deadly quiet, most of the cardinals were shocked, including Tommaso himself. But Voiello, he was very satisfied with it.

And yes, Tommaso was Viglietti. There was disbelieved on his face until Gutierrez and The Cardinal Dean showed up in front of him. The Cardinal Dean asked him, “Acceptasne electionem de te canonice factam in Summum Pontificem? _(Latin: Do you accept your canonical election as Supreme Pontiff?)_ ”

Tommaso was still shocked, but he was willingly accepted his destiny. “Accepto. (Latin: I accept.)”

“Quo nomine vis vocari? _(Latin:_ _By what name do you wish to be called?)_ ” the Cardinal Dean asked.

It took Tommaso a while to think his new name, when he thought of St. Francis of Assisi, he spoke his new name, “Franciscus II! _(Francis II)_ ”

At St. Peter’s Square, the faithful were waiting, when they heard the bells ringing and saw the white smoke from the Sistine Chapel, some of them cheered, and some of them were disappointed because they didn’t need a new pope - only Pope Pius XIII.

~ ~ ~ ~

As usual, Voiello was drafting a homily for the Pope, this time, he got help with Sofia and his assistant Cavallo.

“Your Eminence, how about this: _Administer justice every morning; rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed, or my wrath will break out and burn like fire because of the evil you have done, burn with no one to quench it. [Jeremiah 21:12]_ ” Sofia suggested.

“No,” said Voiello, “Too apocalyptic, too political. It will terrorize the faithful.”

“Even the stork in the sky knows her appointed seasons, and the dove, the swift and the thrush observe the time of their migration. But my people do not know the requirements of the Lord. _[Jeremiah 8:7]_ ” Cavallo read it aloud in a sweet soft voice.

“Enchanting,” Voiello smiled with sort of agreement.

Sofia noticed the smile and said, “Your Eminence, doesn’t it seem a bit too sugary for the pope’s first homily?”

Cavallo giggled with the hand covering his mouth. Sofia found that was odd, a fully grown man giggled like a little girl. “Are you embarrassed about your teeth, covering your mouth like that when you laugh?”

Cavallo stopped giggle and stared at Sofia.

Voiello gazed between them and said, “My dear Cavallo, let me present Sofia Dubois, a woman who will never feel uneasy.”

Sofia and Cavallo looked at each other, they both knew that they would never be friends.

“Now, too sugary?” Voiello slightly shook his head, “Not at all. That passage is sweetness and candor, just like our new Pope.”

Sofia rolled her eyes.

Voiello added, “Do you know what really moves me? We’ve elected a pope who doesn’t realize he is a pope.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Cavallo wondered.

“No, Clams. That’s a good thing.” Sofia teased.

“What a superior woman!” Voiello smiled with amused.

~ ~ ~ ~

Tommaso changed into the papal vestment, walked into St. Peter’s Basilica, the College of Cardinals were all waiting for him at the hall.

He was so nervous. He took the seat and helped himself a pill with a shivering hand, he was crying, “My blood pressure’s off the charts.”

“Why are you crying?” Voiello asked annoyingly.

“Don’t you ever cry?” Tommaso wondered.

“Only when I get beaten up. Fortunately, it’s rare that anybody beats up the Secretary of State.”

“I’m scared,” Tommaso was shivering, his mind was blank, and he had no clue how to become a pope, “What should I say?”

“You only have to read this magnificent speech,” Voiello handed Tommaso a folder, “I and my staff have drawn up with self-abnegation, spiritual rigor, and love.”

Outside on the Square, the crowd of the faithful was not much as expected, as most of them were at Venice, they were staying there and prayed for Pius XIII.

Therefore, when Pope Francis II showed up at the balcony, there were no cheers, only a few applause.

It didn’t bother Francis II at all, even he was still nervous, he tried to calm himself, waved to the crowd and said, “Good day, brothers and sisters. Before I introduce myself to you, let us pray for our beloved Pius XIII.”

He drew a cross and the crowd followed. After the prayer, Voiello whispered to Francis II, “You’re doing great. Stick to the speech.”

Francis II took a deep breath, looking at the Voiello’s draft and started giving his speech, “In the Bible, Jeremiah says: Even the stork in the sky knows her appointed seasons... The turtle dove, the swift, the thrush observe the time of their migration. But my people do not know the law of the Lord. But what can we do?”

Voiello was satisfied, and things happened as he planned. However, a dove flew over and took away the draft. Francis II was panic, he didn’t know what to do and what to say. Voiello urged him to continue, “Say this: ‘ _We can pray. God prays in the face of the migrants’ tragedies.’_ Go on, Tommaso. Say this! Then say goodbye and come away!”

Francis II looked at the crowd, then took off his glasses and looked up to the sky. Suddenly, he realised something, he smiled.

“No! Good God, no!” Voiello was stunned, that was not a good sign, he said, “He’s beginning to realise it.”

“Beginning to realise what?” Sofia asked.

“That he has power,” Voiello mumbled and realised he made a huge mistake too.

Francis II was no longer in fear, with confidence, he continued, “What can we do? We can pray. For those who suffer, those forced to flee. But we can do even more. We can open the Vatican and take in the poor, desperate migrants. From tomorrow, the Vatican gates shall remain open! And what else can we do? We can give our wealth to the poor! I... My name is Francis II because I do what St. Francis of Assisi would do!”

The crowd of faithful burst into thunderous applause.

“What the fuck are you saying?” Voiello almost fainted, “What have I done?”

~ ~ ~ ~

With the pope’s new order, all the homeless, migrants and refugees around Rome were rushed to the Vatican, the Vatican Gardens now became their shelter.

There were so many strangers around the Vatican without any security control, Voiello was worried about it, his assistant Cavallo came and reported to him about the situation.

“Your Eminence, everyone wishes to confer with you. Hernández wants a private meeting. The Italian Prime Minister is alarmed about security, hundreds of migrants are descending on Rome, and he wants a meeting. Managing directors, CEOs that have dealings with our financial structures want an explanation…”

There were loads of people who would like to meet Voiello, however, there was only one he wanted to meet, “Bauer?”

“He didn’t show up.”

“Bad.” Voiello sighed, “Very bad.”

“What do I tell these petitioners?” Cavallo asked for instruction.

“Tell them to speak directly to the Pope,” Voiello would never take this hot potato.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Mother, would you please bring me some Easter cake? The one made by Alemagna,” Francis II insisted.

Everyone was shocking.

Sister Suree said, “Holy Father, Easter cake is only made at Easter time. That’s months away.”

“I don’t care!” Francis II acted like a spoiled child, “You would do well to get me some, otherwise I will get upset. And it’s not good if the pope gets upset.”

Voiello’s eyebrows knitted, looking at Francis II who was surrounded by a group of Franciscans, liked the personal bodyguard of the Pope.

Francis II noticed something was missing from the Papal Office, “What happened to the Venus of Willendorf?”

“I imagined that you want to sell it, Holy Father, and donate the proceeds to the poor,” Voiello said, “So I sent it to London, to be auctioned at Christie’s.”

“And were you sorry to part with her?” Francis II tilted an eyebrow and teased Voiello.

Voiello narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out the Pope’s intention, “Attachment to material things is an emotion that does not appertain to the Vatican Secretary of State.”

“Nor at to the pope,” truly Francis II was not a material type, “In fact, we will divest ourselves of everything.”

“Even the refugees, Holy Father?” Voiello challenged the Pope.

“No, they will stay.” Francis II said firmly, “It was a brilliant move on my part, a charitable media triumph. My papacy will be one long, luxurious manifestation of poverty.”

“Which has us all worried, Holy Father,” said Voiello, speaking for his fellow cardinals, the new _poverty policy_ was very alarming to all of them.

“Yes, I can imagine,” Francis II said with a casual smile. “The time of privilege is over but I’m not afraid of your reactions, Voiello, or that of the Curia, and do you know why? Because the people, the press are on my side. The leftist press in particular.”

The privilege was something that Francis II couldn’t stand with, there was no difference between ordinary people and the cardinals.

However, Voiello was not on the same page. With all his concerns, he said, “Which is exactly why I invite you to be prudent, Holy Father. The leftist press never gets anything right, they’ve even lost ground in nursing homes.”

Francis II smirked, “By the way, as soon as possible, we must consider the selection of the new Secretary of State.”

That was Voiello’s nightmare, after Pius XIII, he didn’t want another roller coaster on his career.

He humbly said, “May I have a word with you in private, Holy Father?”

“You may speak with me in public, Voiello. I have no secrets,” Francis II beamed as he got nothing to hide.

“But I do, Holy Father,” Voiello said.

~ ~ ~ ~

The dining hall originally was serving the clergy, however, under the papacy of Francis II, now was full of homeless and refugees. And looked like all cardinals were not welcome at the dining hall, because when Aguirre and Assente wanted to have lunch there, the Franciscan monks stopped them at the entrance, “No! What are you doing here? It’s full!”

The cardinals felt offended, “We mistakenly thought we could have some lunch here.”

“It’s full!” The monks smirked, “You have to go to the Sistine Chapel. Now. Francis II is going to address his brother cardinals.”

Aguirre stared at the monks, and the anger with Francis II was building.

~ ~ ~ ~

When the door of Sistine Chapel was opened, Francis II was charging in, he took the seat and said, “Brother Cardinals...Thank you. Thank you for having placed a poor, ignorant, awkward monk on the papal throne. I would like to address you today, but who am I to speak to you? I’m just a poor man. Far better that I speak to you in the words of the saint, who, as of today, shall be an inspiration to us all.”

“It’s no looking good.”

Francis II continued, “From the Testament of St. Francis: _‘And those who came to embrace this life gave as much as they could to the poor; they were content with a single tunic patched within and without at will.’_ Or...”

He was flipping his notes, searching his next part of the speech.

“Who is he?”

“The new pope,” said Gutierrez, sighed internally, he did miss Pius XIII.

Finally, Francis II found the page and continued, “Or this, the last wishes to Saint Clare: _‘And I counsel you to live always in this most holy life of poverty.’_ My dear brethren Cardinals, starting today, we will all live according to the rules of St. Francis. Poverty will be our uniform. And so, as we intone together the Canticle of Creatures, some friars will move among you, inviting you to place your gold crosses and your precious, bejeweled rings in the baskets. All your finery will be sold, the proceeds given to the poor. I know you will obey me in this, that you will not cause your pope to become upset. In exchange, I will embrace each of you. Canticle!”

With the canticle as the background music, the Franciscan monks were holding a tray of new wooden crosses, forcing the cardinals to surrender their valuable crosses and rings into the new ones.

Then Francis II hugged each of them, and he didn’t care about the tears in the cardinals’ eyes.

~ ~ ~ ~

Not just _confiscated_ the cardinals’ gold crosses, Francis II sent his monks to invade the Vatican Bank at night, accessing and taking control of the Vatican Archives, bank accounts, and vaults, with the intention to giving them away.

Once the monks finished their job, they went back to the Apostolic Palace and reported to the pope, they found him was sleeping on the ground and shirtless.

“Holy Father!”

“How did it go?” Francis II woke up and asked.

“We’ve changed the passwords, only you can log on to the bank accounts. The vault too, only you can get in.

“Very well,” Francis II was pleased, with a sinister smile, he said, “Tomorrow they’ll be crying.”

Holding the finance of the Church, Francis II felt the power in his hand and no one can challenge his authority.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Oh, dear! Voiello, do beware of what you wished for! Hardly believed that you choose someone who is worse than me to be the pope.”

Voiello was shocked, someone was talking to him! And the voice was familiar. He looked around and the hallway was empty. When he arrived at the Sistine Chapel, all the cardinals were there waiting for him, and all looked piss off, as they found out they not just losing their valuable jewellery, but also their bank account as well.

“I’ll take care of it!” Voiello promised.

The cardinals were very upset. They were all yelling at him.

“How can you fix this, Voiello?”

“You asked us to vote for Tommaso because he is soft and weak!”

“And turns out that he is worse than Pius XIII!”

“If we will have a pope like him, I rather we have a comatose pope!”

“I have told you that having a Conclave is a bad idea!”

Facing the accusation from all the cardinals, Voiello knew he was in deep trouble, “You all just relax! Trust me, everything will be all right.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello was having a meeting with Francis II. Once he was alone with the pope, he said, “What are you playing at?”

After helping himself a pill for his high blood pressure, Francis II said, “Doing my job, my dear Voiello.”

“What?” Voiello was shocked.

“Yes! We’ll close the accounts. We’ll liquidate our financial structure because we don’t need it. We’ll donate all our wealth to the poor. We’ll go back to where Peter started from.”

“Closing all the accounts? Do you want to destroy a 2000-year-old state, Tommaso?” Voiello questioned.

“Destroy? Not at all. I want to restore it to its original mission: Charity.” Francis II announced, “Next, to which I shall place chastity. I shall eliminate not only the protagonists of sexual abuse but all sexual acts, even those performed on oneself. I shall install cameras everywhere, even in the toilets.”

Voiello almost fainted, Francis II was more aggressive than Pius XIII.

“Why not decapitate onanists in the public squares?” Voiello was anxious, “Tommaso, you’re crazy.”

“No, I am the Pope!” Francis II stared at Voiello, “You may not call me by name, and you will never again say I’m crazy! Because I don’t need staff, I can make mistakes all by myself. I only need remote operatives to create a hiatus between me and evil: The Curia.”

When Voiello was thinking about how to make Francis II resign, Francis II dropped a bomb.

“Hence, you are no longer Secretary of State.”

Voiello was stunned, and Francis II was enjoying his power so much, he continued, “See how things change? You were powerful, now you’re harmless.”

“Why don’t you take another pill for your blood pressure? You’re overwrought.” Voiello suggested.

“I’m fine, you’re the one who’s feeling unwell, even though you’re hiding it,” Francis II smiled.

Voiello sighed heavily, “You’re right, Your Holiness. I beg your pardon.”

“Good.”

“Am I still Secretary of State?” Voiello was hoping the best.

“No,” Francis II said firmly, “And soon you won’t even be a cardinal, I’m going to defrock you.”

“Your Holiness, don’t overreact, even a pope must set boundaries for himself.” Last time, Voiello was almost got deposed by Pius XIII, he could walk out of it by mending his relationship with the Pope, but this time, he didn’t have confidence.

“Is that a threat?” Francis II looked into Voiello’s eyes without fear, “That’s the difference between you and me, Voiello. You threaten the others, I get things done. When you plotted to have me elected, you were in a hurry, and didn’t take all the elements into account.”

 _Did I miss something?_ Voiello thought, by the time he plotted and made Tommaso won the Conclave, he took the same criteria as he chose Lenny: Naïve, innocent, easy to manipulate.

However, Tommaso was never the one, just like Lenny.

“You only considered one: My naiveté which makes me easy to manipulate. And you would have been the manipulator. That is an error because I lost my naiveté years ago. Listening to horrendous sins, a confessor loses his candor. In your haste to defeat Hernández, you forgot something fundamental: I wasn’t only the confessor for Pius XIII, but the whole Curia, especially you. I know the irregularities, the scandals, the sins, the sinners...I know everything the head of the modern Church should not know. You keep saying my actions are dangerous. But there’s only one dangerous thing for you here today: _Me knowing everything_. Because I do know everything, Voiello.”

Now, Voiello knew what mistake he made: He didn’t take Tommaso’s background to account; he forgot that Tommaso was the confessor of the Curia and held everyone’s dark secret.

And that was a fatal mistake that might make him lose his power.

~ ~ ~ ~

In the afternoon, Francis II went to the Gardens to meet all the homeless and refugees, with all the cardinals and the press alongside with him. He made a short speech, “And here is the feeling of the world that Saint Francis would have liked: Harmony.”

Francis II successfully developed a welcoming and caring image to the world and he was enjoying his moment, however, he never noticed (actually nobody does) that someone was watching over him with disappointment in the eyes.

“Too bad, he is no longer the Tommaso I know.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Voiello was having a secret meeting with Hernández in Sistine Chapel. As they needed to come up with a solution before Francis II sold out all the Church treasures.

“He has taken control of the vault and plans to give it all away. All the money, all the gold to the poor. The secret files to the press, we will all end up in jail.” Voiello was full of concerns.

“He has heard the word of God and decided to follow literally,” Hernández said.

“God was emotional,” Voiello disagreed.

“We are expected to be far-sighted,” Hernández calmly said.

However, Voiello thought they needed to put the situation under control, “Half of the cardinals voted for you, the other half for me. Neither one of us will ever become pope.”

“I know. We have to find a third choice.”

“Who do you have in mind?” Voiello asked.

“The person who got the most votes after you and me,” Hernández suggested.

“Sir John Brannox?” Voiello was happy that they both finally came up to an agreement.

“Yes. He, the great advocate for the middle way,” Hernández praised.

Sir John Brannox would be their only option.

“I have never even met him,” Voiello had concerns.

“I do. You’ll like him, a compelling individual. There is only one problem: It will not be easy to convince him to accept. But you, Voiello, are enormously persuasive.” Hernández looked at Voiello and sighed, “Why is it that you and I have never been able to tolerate each other?”

“We are too different,” because Voiello knew that they were on a different path, and he was too cunning.

“But there is an obstacle between our intention and Brannox becoming pope: Francis II. How shall we proceed?” Hernández worried.

“With the power of prayer and goodwill,” Voiello said with determination.

~ ~ ~ ~

The world was praying, for the popes.

In the Vatican, cardinals were praying in the Sistine Chapel, having their confession to God that they had done wrong on the Conclave, and hoping God will forgive them and give them a second chance.

At midnight, Francis II, with all the power and authority he had, walked inside the Vatican vaults, with all the gold and treasure inside, he was overjoyed. Even he took his medication to control the blood pressure, he still suffered from a heart attack.

At the same time, in Venice, the general public and a group of faithful who wore a Pius XIII hoodie stationed outside the hospital, they were continuously praying for Pius XIII, only waiting for a miracle: the wake up of Pius XIII.

Lenny was still in his private intensive care room, with a nun by his bedside, she was praying too.

He was breathing on his own, on the oximeter monitor showed he was breathing normally and with a strong beating heart, with an oxygen mask, he was sleeping like a baby.

Without anyone noticing, after being comatose for months, he finally moved a finger.

At that exact moment, Pope Francis II’s beating heart stopped.

~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, in the Vatican, at a fine dining restaurant, Bauer was enjoying the clams, he checked on his phone when a message came through. He smiled as the bomb was defused.


End file.
